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Thread: How do ILE-SEI and LII-ESE relationships start?

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    Default How do ILE-SEI and LII-ESE relationships start?

    How do they show interest for eachother? Who initiates? etc.

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    This is a fun one, 'cause it never starts.

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    I had great fun with an ESE who moved here from Michigan and attended my high school (I was Freshman and she was Junior), she was fun n goofy and treated me well, even fed me! She wouldn't have started anything more with me though, because of "age". She thought I was too young. >~> Then some drama that I had no idea about happened and she separated from the rest of the Alpha SF group as she went to college and never talked to me since. ;-; I definitely would prefer an ESE over an SEI based simply off of experience, I need that extra boost of Fe, and someone with Creative Si to engage me in rather than use it independently and make it difficult for me to understand and appreciate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    I had great fun with an ESE who moved here from Michigan and attended my high school (I was Freshman and she was Junior), she was fun n goofy and treated me well, even fed me! She wouldn't have started anything more with me though, because of "age". She thought I was too young. >~> Then some drama that I had no idea about happened and she separated from the rest of the Alpha SF group as she went to college and never talked to me since. ;-; I definitely would prefer an ESE over an SEI based simply off of experience, I need that extra boost of Fe, and someone with Creative Si to engage me in rather than use it independently and make it difficult for me to understand and appreciate.
    Uh what do you type as now?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
    Uh what do you type as now?
    Oops... Yeah I guess I kinda just assumed I was LII in that moment. Carry on.

    Though LII is very likely to be my type. :3 Next to IEI and EII... I do think it is my type right now.

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    Crazy

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    ESE to LII: You are so wise and nice... and thin let me fed you.
    SEI to ILE: You are so intelligent and nice but also funny prankster... haha haa
    Last edited by Troll Nr 007; 09-18-2016 at 12:48 PM.
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    ESE stalks LII and wants to touch them all the time until they have them to touch all the time lol and they engage in nerdy cultural intellectual subjects together in between
    SEI and ILE go to the farmer's market together and SEI listens to the many anxiety related issues that the iLE deals with

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    Anxiety issues? Yes, I have weird anxieties lurking everywhere.
    Yes, I have seen and experienced ESE''s stalking and touching behaviour. One wanted me to wrestle with her. I wasn't very comfortable with it in that particular place and setting.
    Enneagram 3 blindspot. Visual deficits in 4, 8. Triple instinctual blindspot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by unsuccessfull Alphamale View Post
    Anxiety issues? Yes, I have weird anxieties lurking everywhere.
    Yes, I have seen and experienced ESE''s stalking and touching behaviour. One wanted me to wrestle with her. I wasn't very comfortable with it in that particular place and setting.
    Aww

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
    How do they show interest for eachother?
    With Alphas it's mostly about enjoying each other's company, having interesting discussions, doing activities together, and things like that.

    Who initiates? etc.
    The extrovert will generally take the initiative (this isn't necessarily true about all types, like LSIs and ESIs for example). If you're talking about romantic relationships, the way it seems introverted male / extroverted female works is that the male will take some token initiative to start with, at which point the female will basically take over adding new material to the relationship so to speak. That's the dynamic that I would prefer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by unsuccessfull Alphamale View Post
    Yes, I have seen and experienced ESE''s stalking and touching behaviour. One wanted me to wrestle with her.
    Weird. And here I was questioning a certain individual's ESEness for wanting to do these things with me. Cute in retrospect.

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    Do not disregard ESE ability to . They can get pretty physically active and will accept LII's low iron pumping ability with great humour.
    Enneagram 3 blindspot. Visual deficits in 4, 8. Triple instinctual blindspot.

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    Hmm, my sister is SEI and married to an ILE. I don't know the full details of their courtship but it was something like this....

    During their college aged years they worked together at a grocery store in his hometown (not my sister's hometown, but we do have a lot of family in that area). I think they were friendly but they were not friends, more acquaintances. Then he transferred Universities and moved to another state.

    Fast forward a decade and he was still living in another state. Meanwhile, his hometown's high school football team was undefeated that year. He, being a sport fanatic, still followed them. My sister, who doesn't care about football, happened to be really supportive and into the team that particular year because we had about 6 cousins on the roster. So anyway, my SEI sister and ILE had been facebook friends this whole time and started talking a bunch about the football team. Then he flew out to go to one of the games and viola, it became a date.

    Fast forward another 6 months and they were married.

    That story is probably not very telling in a socionics way, since it's more circumstantial than personally detailed, but that's what I know of it.

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    On another note, I get the impression that there is a lot of play-fighting in their relationship. They are pretty hilarious. She is a republican and a nurse and Sunday school teacher. He is a democrat and part of the "leftist" media and probably an atheist. I don't have a facebook but my husband says they get into some pretty funny "fights" on facebook.
    Last edited by epheme; 09-19-2016 at 05:27 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hacim View Post
    Are you saying that pumping irons isn't helping my success with the opposite sex?
    No but it could improve your chances with the same... Just increasing your options here.

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    ESEs are just more accepting. I think in general XSEs like to protect from Se.
    Found this socionics art.
    http://freyainverse.deviantart.com/a...-ESE-361298808

    socionics_lii_ese_by_freyainverse-d5z3vy0.png
    ESE and LII

    Well, I remember one SEI who actually admired my way of going about . Thought that there was something very profound behind it by showing some restraint to it.
    Last edited by Troll Nr 007; 09-19-2016 at 05:52 AM.
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    Since propagating the species is the overriding imperative, I would think that physical attraction has to be the primary initiator. It's pleasing physical attributes and not intellect nor information processing style that usually seals the deal although mutual attractiveness by itself will not keep couples together. The attractiveness preference will be chosen repeatedly until luck puts compatible types together. If one no longer feels one has the option of getting the ideal look, only then will one will look (settle) for someone less - other attributes and perhaps compatibility (duality). First encounter is usually not intellectually based, especially in youth; one tends to gravitate to the looker, and take a chance to see if one has a winner. So any type can initiate this process in a multitude of ways. And, it's amazing how much crap a person will take from an attractive mate.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    As an ESE I usually want to offer some kind Si gesture to the LII.
    Bring snacks, making baked goods, help organize their apartment, give hugs, etc etc.
    This is done as a way of showing appreciation for good Ti conversations and Ne ideas that LII provides.
    The ESE initiates.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrowsofyoungwerther View Post
    As an ESE I usually want to offer some kind Si gesture to the LII.
    Bring snacks, making baked goods, help organize their apartment, give hugs, etc etc.
    This is done as a way of showing appreciation for good Ti conversations and Ne ideas that LII provides.
    The ESE initiates.

    I think socionics got this wrong since sensuality is a universal human trait - even betas with their power struggle display it since they understand the way it can form bonds amongst people who are close - either in romantic or platonic circumstances.

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    Quote Originally Posted by unsuccessfull Alphamale View Post
    ESEs are just more accepting. I think in general XSEs like to protect from Se.
    Found this socionics art.
    http://freyainverse.deviantart.com/a...-ESE-361298808

    socionics_lii_ese_by_freyainverse-d5z3vy0.png
    ESE and LII

    Well, I remember one SEI who actually admired my way of going about . Thought that there was something very profound behind it by showing some restraint to it.
    I'm convinced that Se as violence & this idea of needing protection is stupid since most people don't admire aggression unless they are psychologically deranged.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Soupman View Post
    I think socionics got this wrong since sensuality is a universal human trait - even betas with their power struggle display it since they understand the way it can form bonds amongst people who are close - either in romantic or platonic circumstances.
    I don't feel any desire in general to proactively do any of the aforementioned things for people. They would have to make it very obvious that they needed help with it. Maybe it's not just about Si but it's clearly not a universal trait.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    I don't feel any desire in general to proactively do any of the aforementioned things for people. They would have to make it very obvious that they needed help with it. Maybe it's not just about Si but it's clearly not a universal trait.
    Fair point, I'm inclined to guess that maybe it's a bizarre female trait.

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