I have an EII friend (26 years old) and initially we hit it off and became very close. We met in a visual arts class, and bonded over art and Japanese culture.
Over the last 3 years the friendship changed from being a fun experience to being focused mostly on her problems. I noticed she would call to make plans when she needed someone to discuss her problems with or when we had plans a lot of the conversation centered around her problems. Generally the issues are around her school program, boyfriend and parents. She is sweet and kind so I didn't mind (at first).
However, it is at the point where she will call and just start talking about her problems without even asking me how I am or if I have time to talk. She expects a positive affirmative response, not just a listening ear. Sometimes I will honestly tell her I think she is in the wrong. When that happens the conversation comes to a pretty quick end, and she will change the topic. She struggles with staying focused on goals, social situations,confrontation or criticisms of any kind, and homework. She seems to be offending people unintentionally and has trouble following instructions in school. At first I thought she might just need to grow up, but it never gets better. They are the same problems every year, I keep repeating the same advice. A couple times I gave her advice that didn't work out and she basically told me I misguided her. She wants Te explanations from me.
I have placed some distance between us because I feel exhausted. The problems don't seem to get better and she can say hurtful things about other people when she is complaining. She doesn't even realize sometimes she is insulting me, by criticizing them. The final straw was last year when I was accepted to a graduate school she wants to attend (eventually), and she expressed how hard it was for her not to be accepted yet, and how she was upset. I was shocked as this was a big moment for me.
She is on a limited health plan and can't get a counselor. She is so sensitive to even the minute little differences that I don't know what to say or do.
Thank you in advance.