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Thread: friendship or wishful thinking

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    yeves's Avatar
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    Default friendship or wishful thinking

    This made me think ... turns out that only half of anyone's friends actually like them back, and the other half is imagined friendships on your end.


    When you call someone a friend, it goes without saying that they too consider you a friend - you like them, they like you, it’s a reciprocal thing. But a recent study has found that this is probably only true about 50 percent of the time - only half of perceived friendships are actually mutual, and that’s a problem. Led by researchers from MIT, the study analysed friendship ties in 84 subjects aged 23 to 38, who were taking part in a business management class.

    The subjects were asked to rank how close they were with each person in the class on a scale of 0 to 5, where 0 means "I do not know this person," 3 means "Friend," and 5 means "One of my best friends." The researchers found that while 94 percent of the subjects expected their feelings to be reciprocated, only 53 percent of them actually were.


    http://www.sciencealert.com/you-have...do-study-finds

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    Very fascinating. I've always been a quality over quantity of friends type person. Now I don't feel so bad about not having 2000+ friends on social media, heh.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I would say that study is correct. I can think of types like SEI who make superficial friendship where they pick someone that they want on their company and say "I want to make friends with him" then you have someone like me where meeting someone and spending time with them evolves into something real which I call a friendship and only when I feel that the person knows the secret recesses of my heart a friend. Some people to note here on the forum who are my friends are @applejacks and @Eliza Thomason @Director Abbie so there you have it those are my friends. depth not breath!

    I love others too in a very well wishing and Christian way but I hardly know them and if I did maybe a friendship will evolve.

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    "When you call someone a friend, it goes without saying that they too consider you a friend - you like them, they like you, it’s a reciprocal thing."
    ...no.
    I've aware that most of the people I've thought of as friends during my lifetime would not think of me when "friends" came to mind. (Not that they'd deny we were friends if asked; it would seem rude not to.) And some people considered me a close friend who I only kind of liked. It's like a balanced relationship is the unattainable ideal. One will always like the other more.

    Regarding that list of friend qualifications from the show, it doesn't suit me. I've refrained from calling the friends I like most and spend the most time with my "best friends." Because I realized: they don't actually have the qualities that make a person good at being a friend. So no: they're not the best at it. But they are my favorite friends, so I call them that.

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    Schizophyllum commune (uA) Troll Nr 007's Avatar
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    You just have to observe how people are able to bend themselves to be part of the pack - I'd say it is not surprising at all. That is something where I have had great deal of nervousness and inability if there is a need to adjust - OTOH that is not something I aim for or would handle even though there are people who can not sometimes comprehend or understand this when they meet me.
    Enneagram 3 blindspot. Visual deficits in 4, 8. Triple instinctual blindspot.

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    Quick search: It seems that lot people online have serious doubts about this study.
    Bit too painful to think about it? It is probably some kind survival strategy among social animals to assume and rely on these kinds of things.
    Enneagram 3 blindspot. Visual deficits in 4, 8. Triple instinctual blindspot.

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