Influence on sub-type in supervision (ESE-Fe and SLI-Te)
Some other forum members have stated that the sub-type can influence the impact of supervision.
I have an SLI-Te friend, who I originally thought to be an SEI, but the description of SLI-Te suits her perfectly.
We have conversations using Si and Te, and enjoy seeing one another once every few weeks for yoga, and chats about work (not an incredibly deep relationship, but enjoyable).
On the rare occasion I am too quiet, she will state that no one is talking, and encourages me to talk. I introduced her to my INFj friend, thinking they would hit it off, but the SLI-Te mentioned to me that instead they were in silence. I assume a SLI-Si, would enjoy the silence, the SLI-Te seems to want someone to present them with topics to discuss and start conversation with.
Typically I will notice the lack of Fe with an SLI, but with this SLI I don't (I really enjoy her company), which has me quite curious about how sub-types impact supervision and your opinions. Please share experiences.
I am LIE-Te, and my father is an SLI, maybe Si or no sub-type, and I really do feel supervised when he is around. Fortunately, I was able to move away from him at age 18, but we never really got along. Once, when I was about 8 years old, he showed up with a ball and a couple baseball gloves, and suggested we throw a ball around in the front yard. This was his one attempt to be a father to me, and I could not have felt more uncomfortable if we had been wearing pink tutus. Most of the time we avoided each other.
On the other hand, I married (and divorced) an SLI-Te. She didn't really supervise me, thank god, because she almost never told me what to do. But she was perfectly able to shut down my initiatives when she wanted to. She mostly felt like a Mirror (an ILI), and yes, she did like it when I initiated conversations, because as an e5, she was quite withdrawn but still needed someone to talk to. But thinking about our relationship, I did always feel like I was on her turf when she was around.
This next comment is not directly related to the influence of sub-type on supervision, but it is related to the quality of relationships in general. In my case, it resulted from a variation of sub-type. @SisOfNight has a good description of what happens when you marry one of your parents, or your Imago (http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...s-It-Should-Be), when she said that initially, you think you have found the love (or whatever) that was missing from your childhood, but eventually, you find that you married someone who has a direct line to all of your childhood insecurities.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-24-2016 at 02:20 PM.
normal Socionics has no subtypes
Theories progress as they attempt to take into account more and more phenomena. All things were initially thought to consist of water, air, earth and fire. Then protons, neutrons, electrons, and photons. Then quarks, leptons, and bosons. Eventually, socionics will be explained by individual neuron placement and the types will be emergent patterns. How many patterns will probably depend on one's tolerance for high frequency branching.
Originally Posted by Sol
My mother is ESE-Si and I am IEI-Ni, and if we ever argue it really is only about Si things.
For example, she'll complain I have not vacuumed the floor good enough, or put away all the dishes in the dishwasher soon enough, or that I should clean my room more.
She has trouble understanding how I can care so little for household chores. I bet most people are not into doing them – even she does not want to do them at times when she is tired, but she has this intrinsic "obsession" to have everything clean, tidy, and put in its place. I have read before how Si is concerned about making sure no "disease" can develop or spread, so that is why they are often more concerned with cleanliness and tidiness. I can be somewhat paranoid of germs when I am in public – I won't touch door knobs or whatnot when I can help it – but when it comes to the household chores, I take my time. Does not mean I will never get to them – but always much later than my mother finds appropriate. According to her, I should take care of those things immediately after eating, preparing food or whatever. For me, doing it one or two hours later is just as fine.
Oh, and time management is another odd conflict point.
She is usually anxious about being on time or not (probably a weak thing). When there is a time I have to be somewhere or do something for her, she will tell me hundreds of times the time. She will even go so far as to give me an alarm clock (without me knowing). She'll place it somewhere, and then the clock goes off – always at least 10 minutes after I have already gotten ready. It annoys me to no end, haha. And then she will send me several text messages, reminding me of doing something/be somewhere on that particular time... >_<
It is a bit odd to be somewhat "above" one's own parent. I've never felt above her per se, but rather as if we were on the same level.
Usually, it is assumed that your parent is one level above you, hierarchy-wise (could just be an Aristocrat thing of mine, btw – my SEE sister does not seem to care about that sort of parent-child hierarchy at all).
But being my mother's Supervisor, I feel like we are "equals".
That results in me refusing to listen to her initially when she has a bone to pick with me.
I will laugh off her complains, or I will outright ignore them, which really frustrates her. But somehow, I will always come back and pour oil on troubled water.
I will actually do what she has asked of me, always with a delay after the initial resistance. The idea has to go through my mind first, and then I will have to feel like being nice to her – because I do love her.
And I will simply do what I don't like to do that much – my Role Si – for the sake of the harmony of our relationship.
That's really the key with Supervision, especially with being the Supervisor – to be forgiving and simply compromise, do the things someone asks of you, apologize – just for the sake of harmony.
(...And that could just be the 9 in my tritype talkin'. )