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Thread: Your Imago

  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
    Beta deals better with negative emotional expressions than any other quadra. But of course this is a generalization very much.

    Glad it's better now
    Yeah, people change
    Thanks for your input

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    I did your PDF exercise too, @Cassandra . It was great. Thank you!!

    The first set of results are the composite traits of past romantic partners, from the PDF exercise you linked. The second set are based on the childhood influences one from the OP.



    • Positive (conscious): gorgeous, kind, romantic, friendly, likes animals/nature, refined, intelligent, interested in fantasy, a bit erratic, ambitious, supportive emotionally
    • Negative (unconscious): erratic/aggressive, critical, irrational, hot/cold ego/self-esteem

      Positive: reliable, pragmatic, effective, effortful, gentle, intuitive, supportive, gorgeous, humorous

      Negative: chaotic, horrific, toxic, emotionally disturbed/disturbing, emotional vampire, manipulative, unapologetic, narcissistic/egotistical, destructive, tyrannical, explosive, irrational, internally inconsistent/dissonant, inefficient, over-worrying, dismissive, hostile, unintelligent, incognizant/unlucid, alienating, imperceptive/unaware, denying, authoritarian


      “What I wanted most as a child and didn’t get was…”
      To be given emotional support and understanding/sanity/clarity

      “As a child, I had these negative feelings over and over again: ….”
      Not understood, unfair, alone to deal with problems, harm self, no escape, unloved, parents don’t love each other, terrorized, manipulated narcissistically, toxic place


  3. #83
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    This could be interesting...

    Composites of my parents and one very important childhood mentor, bold for traits that have had the most impact on me for good or for ill. Things I strive to emulate, things that instinctively piss me off when I see them in others.

    Positive: encouraging my curiosity, intelligent, socratic, friendly, welcoming, realistic, optimistic, success-oriented, fun-loving, understanding, relaxed, philosophical, community-oriented
    Negative: overprotective, smothering, distant, callous, smug, hyper-critical, manipulative, gaslight-y, compulsive liar, narcissistic, unfaithful, alcoholic, image-obsessed, condescending, violent anger issues, literally no connection to reality
    What I wanted most as a child and didn't get was: an actual close friendship without drama and stupid social status-based squabbling holding it back, different parents and classmates, a letter from Hogwarts to make sense of everything
    As a child I had these negative feelings over and over again: suicidal and/or homicidal thoughts, thoughts of burning things, thoughts of running away, retreating into my room to read for hours, going off into the woods with my dog to just be alone and escape into my imagination

    I'm a very unrepresentative example because my parents are both barrels of issues. Dad has subclinical antisocial tendencies, also serious rage issues that led to physically abusing mom on the regular. Mom has probably clinical narcissism (I have never, ever heard her say "I'm sorry" and she will stone-wall and belittle you rather than admit she's wrong), and later developed schizophrenia which leads her to believe she's literally God.

    Taken as a whole, the composite sounds to me like an unhealthy EIE 2, which is possibly my mom's type. That or ESE. The 2-est I'm usually interested in is the "I was an awkward outcast so I have a thing for welcoming and encouraging the beaten down" thing you get from a lot of my fellow 6s, I do have some mild attraction to EIE girls (not so much guys) but it pales in comparison to my huge one for xEIs. For the record: dad is an SLE-Ti 8w9, the childhood mentor was ESE or IEE and probably a 7w6.

    In girls I find myself most attracted to: 4, 9, 7w6. Beta NF, SEI, IEE, SEE. In guys: 6, 8, 7w8. Se-ego, LSE.

    Any other 6s had effed up childhoods? Because I've noticed a lot of us have.
    Last edited by Nanooka; 06-08-2017 at 07:48 AM.
    Maybe, possibly ILE-Ti
    6w7 sx/so, 641 tritype
    sLUe|I|

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  4. #84

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    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    Could it be you are Type 4 in the Enneagram?
    As far as I know, it is a very common theme for Type 4s to feel like they are the "alien" or "black sheep" in their family.
    (I absolutely relate to that, for instance.)
    This is probably not related, but since we recently talked a lot about being e4 I resonated with what you wrote.
    Last edited by MaviTilki; 07-17-2017 at 09:00 AM.

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    This is a relatively old thread, but I'm not trying to start a discussion, I'm just adding a note to the information about Imagos, and this seems to be the best place for that.

    I'm finding out just how important the Imago is for attraction to occur. I've dated women whom I thought were good matches to me, but they didn't see things that way. One ESI told me that she didn't find me attractive, but she liked my SLI son immediately upon meeting him. I later learned that her father is SLI, so she is obviously operating more on Imago than on functional compatibility. (This pissed me off, incidentally.)

    I've said here before that my preference in ESI's is a woman who is tall and thin. Since my ex-wife and all my significant GF's met these criteria, I assume that this is my Imago. I even rejected an ESI who liked me because she is neither tall nor thin. I'm pretty sure she was terminally pissed off at my failure to see how functionally good we were together. Which, I admit, we were.

    I recently met an ESI who is both tall and thin and I immediately started vetting her for wife material. (She is less enthusiastic about me. I wonder why? Lol.) This immediate, strong reaction to her hasn't happened with any of the other ESI's I've dated. The most I can say is that I really liked the other ones and got along with them tremendously well. But did I see them immediately as permanent, stick-around-forever possibilities? Not exactly. It was more of a wait-and-see-if-something-develops thing.

    Most Imagos probably take their form from our parents. For example, my father is SLI and I married an SLI. My mother is LSE, and my LII sister married an LSE.

    I've been wondering for some time where my own preferences came from. There is my SLI parent connection, of course, and my attraction to IEI's is almost certainly due to the love I received from my IEI aunt, but where does the "tall and thin" come from?

    I realized this morning that my best friend from HS, an ESI with whom I weathered the usual HS stuff, was both tall and thin. He was kind of dorky, but that didn't matter in the slightest, since I am, too. Lol.

    The question now is, knowing this, can I overcome it?

    "Imago" is an irrational preference made by the lizard-brain and it interferes with optimal choices. If my HS buddy had looked different, I'd be off on some other path right now and would still be missing the essentials.

  6. #86
    unrealistic dreamer turd mrrrmaid's Avatar
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    Cool thread bump. To do the original task:

    What I wanted most as a child and didn't get was
    As a child I had these negative feelings over and over again:


    Positive: fun, outdoorsy, ambitious, intelligent, caring, active
    Negative: Bad tempered, judgemental, not cool, dismissive
    What I wanted most as a child but didn't get was: respect
    As a child I had these negative feelings over and over again: patronised, judged, 'black sheep' syndrome

    I felt patronised as a lot as a child (not necessarily by my parents, though sometimes it was. A lot of times by other adults but my parents would usually agree with them / not stick up for me which felt like betrayal even if they were usually more accepting). In my early years (0-8) I thought everyone talked to me like I was stupid and when I was older (8-13) I would earnestly express myself only to have adults incl. my parents be dismissive. Again, it always seemed like they weren't listening to me and just assuming they knew more than me, which they obviously did but when they act like that after I'd just said something profound and personal it felt isolating and majorly disrespectful. They'd laugh at what I said rather than explain why they thought different.

    I also did the imago face composite of a bunch of dudes I find attractive if anyone wants to VI

    morphimago.jpeg
    Based on popular typings on this forum of the celebrities I used, he's made up of EIE, IEI, LII & LSI.
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

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    @mrrrmaid, your imago looks like Orlando Bloom.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @mrrrmaid, your imago looks like Orlando Bloom.
    Does he?!? I didn't use OB in there. But he was my first crush (in Lord of the Rings, long blonde hair and all) so maybe there's something behind that
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

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    ew.... that stare just shouts ima derpy ass creep and will follow you around till the day you die with the purpose of making you uncomfortable 24/7


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    Yeah baby, give me that love nectar.
    You know that you are dead when someone puts you into a box and you are unable to devise a way to get out of it




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    female versions too


    (so many 00's celebs. haven't thought about Agyness Deyn in years)
    @hag Being heterosexual, the male imagi did not affect a response in me. However I can comment on the female ones.

    The first woman looks rather seductive, flirtatious and volitional. I suspect she would be likely to show sexual initiative.
    The second woman is also seductive, but callous and calculating, so I am not surprised to see you react with an "ew". Women like that try to forment intrigue for personal gain, so you are wise to avoid them.
    Last edited by Spermatozoa; 10-11-2018 at 04:01 AM.
    You know that you are dead when someone puts you into a box and you are unable to devise a way to get out of it




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    I thought as an exercise, it would be worth trying to see if I could also notice patterns in the male faces.

    This imago is of a most obnoxious and narcissistic individual.



    And this one is of a fun-loving, enthusiastic and cheerful individual.

    You know that you are dead when someone puts you into a box and you are unable to devise a way to get out of it




  13. #93
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    Female: Nemesis



    Female: Romance

    You know that you are dead when someone puts you into a box and you are unable to devise a way to get out of it




  14. #94
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    Isn’t that Audrey Hepburn? I think she’s IEE.

    (Maybe it’s her Ne. )

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    Natalie Portman weirds me out, too. I just could not understand why Darth Vader thought she was attractive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hag View Post
    Ralph Fiennes?
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

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    Yeah I find Natalie Portman irritating.

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    Audrey Hepburn might be IEE (Infantile) and my Benefactor, Grace Kelly is probably sx-last and kind of chilly and is very probably my SLI (Caregiver) Supervisor*, and Natalie Portman just looks disconnected from the world somehow, like she's an octopus pretending to be a human.
    All of these women are conventionally beautiful and personally (to me) not warm and attractive.

    *She's quite a bit like my ex-wife, actually.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-11-2018 at 02:37 PM.

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    I think N. Portman is attractive, most than a many in Hollywood.
    Last edited by Aki; 10-11-2018 at 04:56 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    I think N. Portman is attractive, most than a lot in Hollywood.
    @Aki, what do you think of the lead singer in this video?


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    @Adam Strange I don't think shes attractive. She freaks me out a bit and looks pretty masculine. Her face expressions reminds me of Fe in ESE, somehow exaggerated (I know its intentional probably, but anyway). Reminds me a lot of Anne Hathaway and Liv Tyler a bit.
    Why?
    Last edited by Aki; 10-11-2018 at 04:20 PM.

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    Women I consider physically attractive:
    N. Portman (IEE mb), Alizee (xEE), Marion Cotillard (IEE), Shirley Manson (EIE).
    Last edited by Aki; 10-11-2018 at 04:47 PM.

  23. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by hag View Post
    interesting...

    I like him as Heathcliff [ILI character imo]

    he has a similar face shape to your imago - or at least that's who I saw when I looked at the morph. Though he has a slightly 'darker' vibe - maybe the beta NF in him?
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

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    Quote Originally Posted by hag View Post
    my thoughts exactly.

    Grace Kelly - mannequin vibes. she seems like she would be a real lady in public, but behind closed doors she kicks puppies or something.
    If she's like my ex, then she's exactly the same behind closed doors. Polite, proper, somewhat distant.

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    I think Audrey Hepburn is LSE-Si. I think Marion Cotillard is ESE 4w5

    I think to get around your imago is all the painstaingly hard work of being the wonderful parent you love or want to yourself and being the person you want to date yourself. Then you can actually date someone not who will be the you that you would like to be but who you, fully whole and present for yourself, make a choice to be with because of their own qualities that they bring. Not easy but maybe not impossible...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guillaine View Post
    I think Marion Cotillard is ESE 4w5
    Nope. Ne and Fi

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    Nope. Ne and Fi

    I disagree, she is C so she has Ne going on but she is ESE IMO. To be honest IEEs are not the best type as performers. They may get away with some musical theatre and the odd actor but we often lack vocal control, we are too aware of what is oign on around to focus and we are too empathetic to cut out our feelings. Most good actors are ESE, EII, and LSE and LIE. I think it is easier for J types to focus and tune out the rest.

    What you posted before about IEE being one of the most open as well as INFP is true and it works against both of them when trying to perform. Sure IEE's have the uppoer hand becasue they are extraverted but it's still against their grain which is to be taking in not producing. I notice a lot of people type famous LSEs and ESEs who have passion and quirkiness as IEEs when really we are so crap at Si we are bad imitators in that sense. It is not our strength.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guillaine View Post
    I disagree, she is C so she has Ne going on but she is ESE IMO. To be honest IEEs are not the best type as performers. They may get away with some musical theatre and the odd actor but we often lack vocal control, we are too aware of what is oign on around to focus and we are too empathetic to cut out our feelings. Most good actors are ESE, EII, and LSE and LIE. I think it is easier for J types to focus and tune out the rest.
    the only other possible type that I see for her is EIE. I know personally two ESEs (one is my mom another a good friend), Cotillard is nothing like ESE. On the other hand my Husband is IEE and she's more like him than ESE females. And I don't think that career path is definite to type someone. Anyway, according theory EIE is the actor, but interestingly, the archetype for SLI Jean Gabin was an actor too. So, I don't think career path is a valid way to type someone. You are free to think whatever her type is ofc.
    The vocal control and else maybe is true for you but that doesnt mean is a rule or trait for IEEs.

  29. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    the only other possible type that I see for her is EIE. I know personally two ESEs (one is my mom another a good friend), Cotillard is nothing like ESE. On the other hand my Husband is IEE and she's more like him than ESE females. And I don't think that career path is definite to type someone. Anyway, according theory EIE is the actor, but interestingly, the archetype for SLI Jean Gabin was an actor too. So, I don't think career path is a valid way to type someone. You are free to think whatever her type is ofc.
    The vocal control and else maybe is true for you but that doesnt mean is a rule or trait for IEEs.

    Not just vocal control, control of her outer movements, awareness of what her body is doing, she is smooth, IEEs are looser and simply more interested in the ideas than in awareness of their physical movements and how they are coming across. Vanessa Paradis or Keira Knightly (IEEs) get away with performing but they looked like models to begin with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guillaine View Post
    Not just vocal control, control of her outer movements, awareness of what her body is doing, she is smooth, IEEs are looser and simply more interested in the ideas than in awareness of their physical movements and how they are coming across. Vanessa Paradis or Keira Knightly (IEEs) get away with performing but they looked like models to begin with.
    You talk as if ppl don't study to become actors, plus what you say has nothing to do with acting. Keira is not IEE.
    Vanessa is more similar to Cotillard than Keira. Then, IEEs have 4DFe too. It means they have a good use of the element. They can't be as you describe. Thats a Fi type mb, but not one with good use Fe like IEE.
    IEE, ESE, EIE and SEE are types with good use of Fe. SEE and IEE value Fi over Fe, still they use it naturally anyway.
    Sensing has nothing to do with good or bad acting skills.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    You talk as if ppl don't study to become actors, plus what you say has nothing to do with acting. Keira is not IEE.
    Vanessa is more similar to Cotillard than Keira. Then, IEEs have 4DFe too. It means they have a good use of the element. They can't be as you describe. Thats a Fi type mb, but not one with good use Fe like IEE.
    IEE, ESE, EIE and SEE are types with good use of Fe. SEE and IEE value Fi over Fe, still they use it naturally anyway.
    Sensing has nothing to do with good or bad acting skills.

    Well I think sensing has a lot to do with being good at performing physically using body and voice in controlled ways.

    I know people study and there are actors of every type surely. but I see a lot of people typing IEEs as I said in other types and not understanding about IEEs, yes we can express emotion it's useful. But with producing types it's natural for them to be making decisions and cutting out other options from moment to moment- I think that assists on a performance level. Whereas IEEs keep entertaining heaps of options.
    On the other hand something like photography both SLIs and IEEs excel because they are naturally going with the flow, sponataneous, flexible, not tied into any set way and in different ways their functions naturally assist that kind of activity. it's not set in stone they are trends that I observe.

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