Here is a truly eye-opening exercise, especially for those of you who have had little luck in romance.
Knowing about your Imago can make sense of a lot of your past (and most likely future) relationship and attraction patterns.
It would be appreciated if you shared which traits you have circled in/marked in the exercise on the page.Your imago is the composite of all the important positive and negative traits of your primary caregivers when you were a child. He or she will appear to be the perfect match for you when you first meet; you’ll feel like you’ve known each other forever, sexual sparks will fly even as you feel very comfortable with them. Over time, they’ll be able to push all the buttons leading to “I’m unlovable” and “I’m no good”. They seem so familiar at first because they share primary traits with your parents (or whoever raised you). You’ll recognize the positive traits at first, then after awhile you’ll tease out the negative traits as well.
It’s helpful to understand your imago, whether or not you’re currently in a relationship. If you are in a relationship, you might be able to create new dynamics that are supportive and nurturing. If you aren’t in a relationship, you’ll have a better idea of what you’re really looking for and why. This will hopefully prevent you from going through more heartbreak as “the One” becomes your worst nightmare.
It is understandable if you'd rather not, because doing this exercise may unearth some difficult emotions.
That is why perhaps I should say Trigger Warning for Victims of Childhood Abuse.
Even though you may be triggered, this kind of trigger could be highly therapeutic.
If you find the time to face some difficult emotions, you could learn a lot from them.
At last, it could be really interesting to know which Sociotypes and/or Enneagram types fit your Imago in the past.
I have written more about how the Imago influences our Mating/Partner choice, esp. versus Duality, here.
If you want to know more about the Imago concept, read "Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix.
I have read it and can recommend it.