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Thread: Siblings or Only Child?

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    Default Siblings or Only Child?

    Hey all,

    I was just curious if there were any only children here? Particularly ENFps? I have known for a long time that i have strong introverted and extraverted traits. I always thought that this was because i was an only child. I have since learnt that many ENFp's are like this.

    I am quite happy to be by myself, although too long without social interaction makes me uneasy and nervous. In fact i find that the longer i hang out with others, the better social skills i exhibit, up to a point when i get over stimulation and i need time alone.

    I think ENFp's are quite fine as only children. I have always been happy to be at home doing my own thing and exploring, in fact i relish my time alone. Since we normally have quite a few friends when we need that social interaction we can get it. I do often wonder what it would be like to have a brother or sister. It would be nice to have someone else close to me that i could learn from etc.

    So how do other types(especially ENFp's) find having siblings? I can imagine i would get smothered sometimes and want my time alone?
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaļs Nin

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    Topaz's Avatar
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    I have many siblings. 7 to be exact. Out of the 8 children in my family I am number 5. Middle child syndrome? Probably. Anyway, now that we're all grown I am very thankfull to have my brothers and sisters. BTW there are 3 girls and 5 boys. I visit my eldest sister and younger brother the most because they live the closest. Not only that but they are the closest psychologically as well. As it stands I have two brothers who are divorced and I have never married and the rest are married. At the moment I live alone in a mother-in law unit. The place is small but it has everything I need. The point is, when I considered living on my own I was terrified but now that I have its not so bad at all. I find I like having my own place and when I get lonely I go visit my friends or pop in on my brothers (in time for dinner ) We (my brothers and sisters) mostly got along fine growing up and even get along better now than then. I do recall there were times when we were living in a full house with kids and friends hanging out all the time when I actually felt quite lonely even though I was surrounded by people. Teenage angst I guess.

    Topaz
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    Yay for your avatar!

    I hated having my sister around when she was first born but as she got older we got closer.

    I rarely feel like the time we spend together is smothering and we usually have a lot of fun together.

    Having her around I think had no influence on introversion vs. extroversion.

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    I am the second of three. My older sister is INFj and my younger brother is ISFj.

    My brother and I used to play a lot as kids as we're close in age. He now lives across the state so I don't see him all that often. My sister and I hang out a lot.

    Growing up, I wanted more privacy. I shared a room with my sister and words can't express how much I hated that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    I am the second of three. My older sister is INFj and my younger brother is ISFj.

    My brother and I used to play a lot as kids as we're close in age. He now lives across the state so I don't see him all that often. My sister and I hang out a lot.

    Growing up, I wanted more privacy. I shared a room with my sister and words can't express how much I hated that.
    Yeah I think my relationship with my sister would have been different if we had to share a room. I doubt I would see her as much as I do now

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    Yea, i think ENFp's need / enjoy privacy and to be left alone to think. I can imagine this would have been hard with a brother or sister. Especially sharing a room.

    I always wished i had a cute sister so she had cute friends comming over

    So there are benefits and disadvantages. I cant help thinking i could be a little lonley when my parents pass on as im not close to my relatives. My parents are quite old already. Still theres always places and people to explore :wink:
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    .

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    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    I am not ENFp, but I'll answer the question anyway. I'm the oldest of four children. Among other things, I think the experience contributed to my tendencies toward bossiness and perfectionism. (Not that I'm blaming being a first-born for anything - I take full responsibility for my own actions and attitudes.) However, I'm glad that I have siblings, as it has contributed many positives in my character growth. Like patience, unconditional love, and the ability to fairly ration the last piece of pineapple pie.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde
    I am not ENFp, but I'll answer the question anyway. I'm the oldest of four children. Among other things, I think the experience contributed to my tendencies toward bossiness and perfectionism. (Not that I'm blaming being a first-born for anything - I take full responsibility for my own actions and attitudes.) However, I'm glad that I have siblings, as it has contributed many positives in my character growth. Like patience, unconditional love, and the ability to fairly ration the last piece of pineapple pie.
    I think a lot of common traits some from being the first born.
    My cousin, who is a different type than me, acts similar to me in a lot of ways and I think that its because we were the first born and a lot of those things are what you listed but I might add that it seems that first born children are also more stoic for some reason.

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    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    I think a lot of common traits some from being the first born.
    My cousin, who is a different type than me, acts similar to me in a lot of ways and I think that its because we were the first born and a lot of those things are what you listed but I might add that it seems that first born children are also more stoic for some reason.
    Yeah, I think birth order has at least a little something to do with how people deal with the world around them. First borns tend to be high achievers; middle children tend to be peace-makers; last borns tend to be the clowns of the family; etc. Of course, it doesn't always apply in every situation, but I have noticed trends.
    INFj / EII / FiNe
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    "Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." - G.K. Chesterton

    "Have courage and be kind." - Cinderella's mom

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    There are definitely similar characteristics between people of the same birth order. You might want to check out Alfred Adler's theories on the subject. He calls it the "family constellation," but you might be more successful just googling his name and "birth order."

    I'm the youngest. My sister is 8.5 years older and is also INFj. My brother is 5 years older than me and he's ENTj. I'm very close with both of them, but they are not very close with one another. Adler actually says that this is common; the youngest tends to get along with everyone.

    I fit the "baby" stereotype in that I was actually pretty rebellious growing up. My sister and brother never really stood up to my mom, but I was stubborn! I got away with a lot. I also had a drugs and sex phase that my siblings didn't go through. I was also the most spoiled. (Unfortunately?) I'll always be my mom's baby.

    We talked about birth order in one of my psychology classes. First-born children are the most likely to go to college, partly because they're usually the most conscientious. So we did a poll, and it turns out, everybody in the class was either the first-born or the only child, except for me! Consequently, there's a lot more research on first-borns than middle and youngest children. You guys think you're so great....

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    My sister fits the baby stereotype too as evidenced by her time here :wink:

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    .........

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    I have a brother that's barely 10 months older than I am. He was a grade ahead of me but was held back in 7th grade. After that we were in the same grades. I actually Hated him most of the way through school while we both lived at home. He ended up knocking up his g/f in high school (who was already out of school) and it took me telling him i'd beat the shit out of him if he failed since he just started slacking off towards the end of our senior year and the principal said he was cutting it close. He went the baby making machine route and I went to tech school. He had 4 kids by 23 and I was already out of college and working in my career at 20, while staying away from all that is kids, I still have none and I'm somewhat scared of them...hahaha.
    He's a manager at a factory, I am a manager without the title of "manager." He loves his life waaaaay more than i like mine...hahaha. We get along great now and haven't fought one time since he moved out with his wife right after high school. I only talk to him once or twice every 6 or 7 months and even rarely make it home to see family since I only make it home once a year or so.
    WTF did I just write all that for? eh well, i'm bored at work.

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    If you are born with other siblings you do not feel smothered ( at least for me ) if you are all relatively close in age. Siblings of the opposite sex will tend to do their own things at times because of different interest boys and girls have.When i became an adult is the time i really needed time for myself.I usually need time for myself to think things over or relax without anyone bothering me. I think that is because when you get older is you want time alone so you can be just be you without the threat of judgement.There are so many stresess to worry about and we all need to get away just to relax and unwind.Once i reach that equilibrium when i thought my problems out or unwinded from a day of stress at work then that is the time i need social interaction with other people. When you are a kid you can be you and also you don't have the stresses of the world to worry about. The world is like a playground to you when you are young and the more people the more merrrier. Most kids in the western world do not have to worry about where are when their next meal is coming , job issues, opposite sex issues, spiritual issues, so basically they are tension and stressfree. For me as a kid( ENFP) i never had the need to be alone because i didn't have the stresses of an adult .

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    Default Re: Siblings or Only Child?

    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    Hey all,

    I was just curious if there were any only children here? Particularly ENFps? I have known for a long time that i have strong introverted and extraverted traits. I always thought that this was because i was an only child. I have since learnt that many ENFp's are like this.

    I am quite happy to be by myself, although too long without social interaction makes me uneasy and nervous. In fact i find that the longer i hang out with others, the better social skills i exhibit, up to a point when i get over stimulation and i need time alone.

    I think ENFp's are quite fine as only children. I have always been happy to be at home doing my own thing and exploring, in fact i relish my time alone. Since we normally have quite a few friends when we need that social interaction we can get it. I do often wonder what it would be like to have a brother or sister. It would be nice to have someone else close to me that i could learn from etc.

    So how do other types(especially ENFp's) find having siblings? I can imagine i would get smothered sometimes and want my time alone?
    INTp
    sx/sp

  17. #17
    Creepy-pokeball

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    You can have my older brother for free. Ive offered him up several times but there have been no takers yet. Ive even offered to trade him for other people's brothers (I know, Im nice that way).

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    Default Re: Siblings or Only Child?

    ........

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    I am an ENFp and the oldest. My younger sister is 5 years younger.

    Growing up, we shared a room for a brief period, and I never felt smothered. I felt like she touched my stuff too much. I created a clearly defined barrier in our room, but I touched her stuff whenever I wanted lol.

    My sister and I now are very close, I don't know her type but I know she's an extravert in the conventional sense.

    As an ENFp, I do enjoy being alone....when I get around people I interact and joke and laugh and socialize so much that I get overwhelmed, and I kind of need time to wind down....thus the internet :-)

    However, If I am alone for too long..I get really sad and crave social interaction.

    I find that the balance *sometimes* is being around introverts, I get the social interaction without the overwhelming effect of being with extraverts. And, as a plus introverts can satisfy my curiosity...I tend to ask a lot of questions. And as most of them don't volunteer information, without some coersion, this works....sometimes
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