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Thread: Pretend you don't know me (unless you don't know me)

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    Default Pretend you don't know me (unless you don't know me)

    I'm doing kinda shitty right now and that might color my responses.

    Personal concepts
    1. What is beauty? What is love?
    "Beauty" is a loaded word that seems to point to something aesthetically objective but perhaps doesn’t truly exist. At least not in a fixed state. So although the first things that come to mind are paintings, trees, faces, it would be better if beauty were a state of mind or state of being. But no state of being is fixed, either. Maybe the most beautiful thing would be acceptance.

    Maybe love is not so different, then, from beauty. Maybe the best love also is acceptance.

    2. What are your most important values?
    One of my core crystallized values is that everybody is crazy in some sense, but that people differ in their ability or willingness to take responsibility for their craziness. I’d like be around people who have a sense of the ways in which they fail to make sense and try to compensate and defend themselves, and who try to grow in this self-knowledge.

    3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
    I was raised to believe in religion, rejected that (at age 10, owing to the “problem of evil”), and I suppose for a long time I wanted to replace religion with something. But no matter what spiritual or religious beliefs I’ve tried to entertain, reality seems not to match up with them and I end up feeling disappointed and foolish. Some part of me wants certainty, but can never have it.

    4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
    I’m no fan of war and the military, but they are an expected aspect of the conditions we live in, divided into nations with borders, with limited or unequally distributed material resources, ideological differences, and hierarchically structured societies.

    Power is maybe the ability to articulate your needs and get them met.

    Interests
    5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
    Long conversations usually synthesize ideas and range widely. They might center on “the meaning of life,” epistemology, art, relationships, how businesses are run, education . . . you name it. Some odd mix of practical and theoretical. I’m interested in ideas and solving problems, usually very concrete solutions, steps to take. I grew up doing performing arts stuff but gradually have left that behind. I like things like decorating and marketing.

    6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
    A lot of those topics make me feel ill to think about. I do find mainstream nutrition science helpful because I’ve been around a lot of people making up wacky shit about diets. I’m not all that focused on my body, it’s more a source of anxiety.

    7. What do you think of daily chores?
    Demoralizing, and they never end. I sometimes feel like an unpaid maid. I like doing work, and I like doing things well and finding better ways to do them. But the boredom, disgust, and lack of appreciation for this kind of work make it pretty much killing.

    8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
    I read massive amounts of nonfiction. I’ve been a book editor for a long time and have had to read a lot as a result of this job.

    I used to read a lot of fiction and generally don’t anymore. Last novel I loved was True Grit -- a clever book in which not a word was wasted. I like trickster characters and satire and authors who relentlessly self-edit.

    Films. Favorite director is Luis Bunuel, maybe. I like screwball comedies and musicals, too.

    Reading George RR Martin’s books now and waiting for last two seasons of Game of Thrones. I watch Project Runway and Top Chef and pretty much no other TV shows.

    9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
    I cry fairly easily, especially over others’ pain and suffering. I smile easily, usually at stupid jokes. But for the last few years I’ve been emotionally numb a lot of the time. I don’t think that’s my personality type or even a normal state of being and I worry it can’t be fixed.

    10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
    “Oneness” is probably not my forte. “Belonging” isn’t either. I guess I feel most comfortable when I’m a stranger, when I’m anonymous, when I’m foreign, because in those instances I’m not expected to fit in. I feel best when I’m in motion, navigating an environment, rather than at rest. Going to see theater or music performances usually feels pretty natural. And I like the smell of books and leather, and places full of antiques or curiosities. I guess working hard, pushing myself somehow, also feels good.

    Evaluation & Behaviour
    11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
    I d
    on’t know if this is a lifelong issue, but apparently I can make myself unreachable. I may be present but pushing people away somehow. If I think back, I think I’m pretty emotionally unstable and don’t want to expose people to that, so I’m trying to protect them and myself . . . from me. I don’t like how dysregulated I feel inside and how much difficulty I have figuring out what I should do to solve my various problems. I don’t like how overwhelmed I get by tedium and bureaucracy, and how easily I lose my temper.

    12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
    Feedback: Funny, smart, artistically adept, verbally fluid, "has integrity." Able to help solve other people’s problems (ironically) -- generally try to point them to resources and options.

    13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
    I need support for my point of view. I grew up in a fairly dysfunctional environment and didn’t learn to trust my own instincts and reactions too well. I need bolstering there. When I have that, I do better at identifying and taking whatever actions I need to.

    I like having help with dishes, cleaning, child care, just general tidying and house stuff, so I can put my energy into other things.

    14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
    Yes. How do I meet role expectations of motherhood and partnership while still having a life of my own? I’ve not yet found this mysterious thing currently called “work / life balance” in corporate-speak.

    People & Interactions
    15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
    Hypocrisy and bullying behaviors set me off -- the logical inconsistency and lack of respect for boundaries. I like a wide variety of people. I guess they’re usually into arts and intellectual pursuits. But not necessarily. Just looking for people I can click with -- openmindedness is probably the main trait that supports clicking.

    16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
    I find the word “romance” cheesy but if I substitute something like “emotional intensity” or “exhilaration” for it, I guess it’s important to find ways to keep that going in a partnership, although I kinda want that in all my meaningful relationships. Sex has to be good or there’s nothing to work with; to me it’s a glue or foundation. Qualities in a partner: has to be intelligent, has to laugh at my stupid jokes. The thing that turns me off most is probably “floppiness” -- physical floppiness, or emotional floppiness.

    17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
    I am raising children. Actually meeting their physical needs is always a main concern and takes a lot of energy. Getting a decent education for them is another crucial matter. I hope I encourage them to think for themselves and be themselves. I hope I help orient them to consensus reality and give them some tools to question that consensus, too.

    18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
    It depends on the specific beliefs involved, and how they make the claim. If they’re polite about it, I do my best to accommodate them and find middle ground. If they’re into some stuff I really dislike, such as New Age claptrap, I’ll just tell them that’s not my thing. If they’re being an asshole, I’ll call it out. If they’re making no sense, I’ll look for the best way to point that out. Not saying any of this is easy -- it’s not.

    19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
    I really don’t feel like thinking about this much today. Right now people seem pretty stupid. Name one random social problem? Homelessness.

    20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
    I guess I usually find them through shared interests, sometimes by frequenting the same places, and there’s some kind of spark or recognition I feel right away and I find the person easy to talk to, like I can push beyond the surface of things with them. With real friends I can drop my defenses. My jokes get better, all my emotions are more palpable.

    21. How do you behave around strangers?
    I behave as if they’re strangers. I live in a city, strangers are everywhere all the time, like air.

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    pretend you never heard about the need in video-interview for typing
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1096450
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    pretend you never heard about the need in video-interview for typing
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1096450
    Pretend you didn't say the same thing in every type-me thread.

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    Se values because you recognize shared force

    You are opposite of me. I don't like feeling like a stranger. I like family, friendship and I look for opportunities to make them happen, to be in warm and loving relationship with people is very important to me.

    "like I can push beyond the surface of things with them. With real friends I can drop my defenses. My jokes get better"

    You see hierarchy in relations
    @Sol here's your Fe dual

    "diets. I’m not all that focused on my body, it’s more a source of anxiety."

    Again opposite of me. Every scratch itch ache and bite I run to someone who would know better and ask what it is or why it hurts that way

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Se values because you recognize shared force

    You are opposite of me. I don't like feeling like a stranger. I like family, friendship and I look for opportunities to make them happen, to be in warm and loving relationship with people is very important to me.

    "like I can push beyond the surface of things with them. With real friends I can drop my defenses. My jokes get better"
    To be clear, I'm not saying I don't like friendships and family relationships. I'm in a family and have friends and they matter to me a great deal. The question was where I feel oneness and belonging, and for me those are elusive states. I grew up in a small town and it was like being choked. Against a background of anonymity, such as in a city, I feel freer. It's okay in a city to fundamentally not belong; therefore, I can be more myself and connect with the people who do matter more easily because I'm starting from a healthier (for me) position.

    You see hierarchy in relations . . .

    "diets. I’m not all that focused on my body, it’s more a source of anxiety."

    Again opposite of me. Every scratch itch ache and bite I run to someone who would know better and ask what it is or why it hurts that way
    What a nightmare lol.

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    You talk a lot along the lines of Fe negative

    − Fe - negative emotions, grief, sorrow, sadness, emotional recession, depression, crying, tears, frustration, pessimism, poor mood, the experience of unhappiness;

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    You talk a lot along the lines of Fe negative

    − Fe - negative emotions, grief, sorrow, sadness, emotional recession, depression, crying, tears, frustration, pessimism, poor mood, the experience of unhappiness;
    Yeah, true, although I think that's especially pronounced right now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    Yeah, true, although I think that's especially pronounced right now.
    Yes it is. Generally you seek clarity of thought Ti

    I'll try to answer this questionnaire for comparison

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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    concepts
    1. What is beauty? What is love?
    "Beauty" is a loaded word that seems to point to something aesthetically objective but perhaps doesn’t truly exist. At least not in a fixed state. So although the first things that come to mind are paintings, trees, faces, it would be better if beauty were a state of mind or state of being. But no state of being is fixed, either. Maybe the most beautiful thing would be acceptance.

    Maybe love is not so different, then, from beauty. Maybe the best love also is acceptance.
    Beauty is in the the many aspects of nature. Everything has a form of beauty within it. The red rose with its shade of red and even its thorns are beautiful.

    Love is morality.


    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    2. What are your most important values?
    One of my core crystallized values is that everybody is crazy in some sense, but that people differ in their ability or willingness to take responsibility for their craziness. I’d like be around people who have a sense of the ways in which they fail to make sense and try to compensate and defend themselves, and who try to grow in this self-knowledge.
    Love, God, family, friendship.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
    I was raised to believe in religion, rejected that (at age 10, owing to the “problem of evil”), and I suppose for a long time I wanted to replace religion with something. But no matter what spiritual or religious beliefs I’ve tried to entertain, reality seems not to match up with them and I end up feeling disappointed and foolish. Some part of me wants certainty, but can never have it.
    Yes. Traditionally my family is Ultra Orthodox and Protestant but I've had Jewish friends and have gone to their temple with them for worship.
    I have a degree in Religions and Jewish studies.

    To me religion gives us guidance and principles to live our lives by. You don't have to have it but for me I like that core or center of morality that is derived from these set of ethics.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
    I’m no fan of war and the military, but they are an expected aspect of the conditions we live in, divided into nations with borders, with limited or unequally distributed material resources, ideological differences, and hierarchically structured societies.

    Power is maybe the ability to articulate your needs and get them met.
    I don't like to talk about this subject entirely because it's not my area of interest and I feel like people who are best equipped should deal with it. We arbitrarily divide people and then either ignore them so that they live lives that are not conducive for their future wellbeing where problems force them to get hostile and they become our foes and now we accuse them so make enemies of our neighbors. We don't have it right. We should be doing things differently I just don't know how.



    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    Interests
    5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
    Long conversations usually synthesize ideas and range widely. They might center on “the meaning of life,” epistemology, art, relationships, how businesses are run, education . . . you name it. Some odd mix of practical and theoretical. I’m interested in ideas and solving problems, usually very concrete solutions, steps to take. I grew up doing performing arts stuff but gradually have left that behind. I like things like decorating and marketing.
    The way humans are being treated in India or around the world. Darfur, the cost of refugee migration and starvation. Bible and all about it. Law and the process of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
    A lot of those topics make me feel ill to think about. I do find mainstream nutrition science helpful because I’ve been around a lot of people making up wacky shit about diets. I’m not all that focused on my body, it’s more a source of anxiety.
    Yes very much so. I like ancient medicine too. I read the health section of the newspaper sometimes and I work at a veterinary hospital so I read about biological manifestations of viruses and transitory organisms



    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    7. What do you think of daily chores?
    Demoralizing, and they never end. I sometimes feel like an unpaid maid. I like doing work, and I like doing things well and finding better ways to do them. But the boredom, disgust, and lack of appreciation for this kind of work make it pretty much killing.
    I like them. I do them routinely.


    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
    I read massive amounts of nonfiction. I’ve been a book editor for a long time and have had to read a lot as a result of this job.

    I used to read a lot of fiction and generally don’t anymore. Last novel I loved was True Grit -- a clever book in which not a word was wasted. I like trickster characters and satire and authors who relentlessly self-edit.

    Films. Favorite director is Luis Bunuel, maybe. I like screwball comedies and musicals, too.

    Reading George RR Martin’s books now and waiting for last two seasons of Game of Thrones. I watch Project Runway and Top Chef and pretty much no other TV shows.
    I almost always read autobiography or biographies now. I like to get in touch with the depth of people.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
    I cry fairly easily, especially over others’ pain and suffering. I smile easily, usually at stupid jokes. But for the last few years I’ve been emotionally numb a lot of the time. I don’t think that’s my personality type or even a normal state of being and I worry it can’t be fixed.
    I miss my dad. Just him teaching me to do the Russian tango and cook for me, the memories bring tears to my eyes.


    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
    “Oneness” is probably not my forte. “Belonging” isn’t either. I guess I feel most comfortable when I’m a stranger, when I’m anonymous, when I’m foreign, because in those instances I’m not expected to fit in. I feel best when I’m in motion, navigating an environment, rather than at rest. Going to see theater or music performances usually feels pretty natural. And I like the smell of books and leather, and places full of antiques or curiosities. I guess working hard, pushing myself somehow, also feels
    Yes I do. As my body is my temple and I don't seek to defile it my environment becomes my fortress. It's a place of comfort, solitude, peace ect.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    Evaluation & Behaviour
    11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
    I d
    on’t know if this is a lifelong issue, but apparently I can make myself unreachable. I may be present but pushing people away somehow. If I think back, I think I’m pretty emotionally unstable and don’t want to expose people to that, so I’m trying to protect them and myself . . . from me. I don’t like how dysregulated I feel inside and how much difficulty I have figuring out what I should do to solve my various problems. I don’t like how overwhelmed I get by tedium and bureaucracy, and how easily I lose my temper.
    My weaknesses are being somewhat disorganized, not eating well to the point where I don't have good energy.

    I will ask my sister, mom and cousin. Objective is always best.


    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
    Feedback: Funny, smart, artistically adept, verbally fluid, "has integrity." Able to help solve other people’s problems (ironically) -- generally try to point them to resources and options.
    I'm great with people. People generally like me because I'm helpful and I get things done when I'm asked so I'm reliable and honest.

    I will ask my sister and dual cousin and add it in

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
    I need support for my point of view. I grew up in a fairly dysfunctional environment and didn’t learn to trust my own instincts and reactions too well. I need bolstering there. When I have that, I do better at identifying and taking whatever actions I need to.

    I like having help with dishes, cleaning, child care, just general tidying and house stuff, so I can put my energy into other things.
    Someone to take care of business issues (asking for prices ect); someone to plan a holiday or trip for us.

    I handle everyday chores and matters effortlessly.


    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
    Yes. How do I meet role expectations of motherhood and partnership while still having a life of my own? I’ve not yet found this mysterious thing currently called “work / life balance” in corporate-speak.
    For very brief moments then I forget about it and I move on. When my dad died I cried , who wouldn't, but I try not to let it bother me every day and endlessly.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    People & Interactions
    15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
    Hypocrisy and bullying behaviors set me off -- the logical inconsistency and lack of respect for boundaries. I like a wide variety of people. I guess they’re usually into arts and intellectual pursuits. But not necessarily. Just looking for people I can click with -- openmindedness is probably the main trait that supports clicking.
    Defy social behaviors. I've already spoken about this in my video. Elderly have designated seats that's why we make them because they can't walk anymore and they should have those seats because one day we too will need the cooperation of others to live healthy and productive lives so while it's our turn those are our moral responsibility.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
    I find the word “romance” cheesy but if I substitute something like “emotional intensity” or “exhilaration” for it, I guess it’s important to find ways to keep that going in a partnership, although I kinda want that in all my meaningful relationships. Sex has to be good or there’s nothing to work with; to me it’s a glue or foundation. Qualities in a partner: has to be intelligent, has to laugh at my stupid jokes. The thing that turns me off most is probably “floppiness” -- physical floppiness, or emotional floppiness.
    I like simple simple deeds like a partner who cooks for me and takes me out to nature. Those are romantic.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
    I am raising children. Actually meeting their physical needs is always a main concern and takes a lot of energy. Getting a decent education for them is another crucial matter. I hope I encourage them to think for themselves and be themselves. I hope I help orient them to consensus reality and give them some tools to question that consensus, too.
    Values such as kindness, generosity, praying for others, sharing, knowing when to not get involved, being respectful when people speak.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
    It depends on the specific beliefs involved, and how they make the claim. If they’re polite about it, I do my best to accommodate them and find middle ground. If they’re into some stuff I really dislike, such as New Age claptrap, I’ll just tell them that’s not my thing. If they’re being an asshole, I’ll call it out. If they’re making no sense, I’ll look for the best way to point that out. Not saying any of this is easy -- it’s not.
    I listen to them and if it chimes with my own I'll add my opinion if not I'll keep quiet and listen. If they try to sell me to a religion that opposes my own I'll kindly tell them "I'm sorry but my family faith in God goes back a long way. I wouldn't mind going to church, synagogue, whatever else with you but please understand that it's not going to change my loyalty and adherence to my faith of many generations. I would like to keep my traditions. Thank you."

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
    I really don’t feel like thinking about this much today. Right now people seem pretty stupid. Name one random social problem? Homelessness.
    I love people. I like to watch them for hours. My heart drops to my knees and begins to hurt when I see someone who is in terrible circumstances but I know that given my own sometimes I can't be of much help.

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
    I guess I usually find them through shared interests, sometimes by frequenting the same places, and there’s some kind of spark or recognition I feel right away and I find the person easy to talk to, like I can push beyond the surface of things with them. With real friends I can drop my defenses. My jokes get better, all my emotions are more palpable.
    The friendships that I've made were in school, and on the metro and dancing. We just happen to be in a spot together not a shared interest. These are people who I've sat next to and who made a comment from which there were conversations and then phone numbers were exchanged. Very effortless and easy. I'm usually a very warm person. People can approach me and ask me about anything and I'll probably give them an honest answer. I behave like myself either kind of shy but when I open up I just get more affectionate and huggy

    Quote Originally Posted by goldenbane View Post
    21. How do you behave around strangers?
    I behave as if they’re strangers. I live in a city, strangers are everywhere all the time, like air.
    I'm polite, try to look for opportunities to be kind, complimentary and helpful. I may look shy, quiet and reserved but I'm kind of nosy and I pay attention to people's needs. I make friendship easily.

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