I have a friend right now about to give birth who is being treated terribly by her doctors, and I've known all along this would happen. So I'm one of the people she turns to to explain the latest thing that's going wrong with this bullshit medical situation.
In today's installment, I listened to all she said and acknowledged the accuracy of her perceptions and the validity of her point of view and her desires and disappointments. I told her that no matter how the birth proceeds, nothing in this scenario is about her being a failure or not doing all she could, that she's caught up in a system that is essentially anti-woman and doesn't treat birth as a natural process, and it's wrong, and I'm sorry she's experiencing that.
I also advised her, once again, to hire a doula even if it's not going to be a crunchy-granola birth, because she and her husband will benefit from having an advocate in the hospital and should be free to focus on themselves and their baby. And I bought a bunch of important stuff from her baby registry that no one got her (diaper pail! bottles! come on, people, these are basics) and that she'll need immediately.