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Thread: Learning about the INTp/ESFj Dynamic

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    Default Learning about the INTp/ESFj Dynamic

    Greetings, folks . . .

    I just joined with the hopes of better understanding the dynamics of an INTP / ENFJ relationship.

    I'm on the Coast of Maine and am the INTP in the above relationship (which probably shouldn't be a surprise.)

    Looking forward to learning more. Cheers.


    FF

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    Enfj or esfj?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Serious Left-Static Negativist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Greetings, folks . . .

    I just joined with the hopes of better understanding the dynamics of an INTP / ENFJ relationship.

    I'm on the Coast of Maine and am the INTP in the above relationship (which probably shouldn't be a surprise.)

    Looking forward to learning more. Cheers.


    FF
    Yes, an important difference - well, fairly important. You typo'ed one of those, so if she is ESFj then she is your Conflictor, and ENFj means she is your Supervisor and both are a challenge for you. Well, you would be on more equal footing if she is ESFj... and I know two couples in that exact Conflictor relationship who have survived the long-haul, but its been tough going. It is a challenge, but my idea is that all relationships can work, with rock solid commitment and flexibility and not expecting the other person to take the place of God in your life. Also both of you being fairly sane helps.

    One thing that helps is to be quite sure you are self-typed correctly. People come here with different degrees of sureness on that. I wonder how sure you are on your two types?

    Maine coast sounds great!
    "A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
    ........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........


    "Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
    by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
    attitude acceptable to today's standards."
    - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"

    .
    .
    .


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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    I'm on the Coast of Maine and am the INTP in the above relationship (which probably shouldn't be a surprise.)
    long conflictors relations are not common. you should check types

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    Infinity Persephone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    long conflictors relations are not common. you should check types
    Of course they can be, especially when one of your family members is your conflictor.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    long conflictors relations are not common. you should check types
    It could be possible that he / she is using the MBTI's conventions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Of course they can be, especially when one of your family members is your conflictor.
    Such relations should be rare, so correct types are more doubful than generally.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    Such relations should be rare, so correct types are more doubful than generally.
    I have doubts regarding your wording but I assume that in any way "rare" means "never" so theoretically it still can happen


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    Chokon Macaque FeloniousFunk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Enfj or esfj?
    Me: INTp
    He: ESFj

    I should've clarified further. We're both gay men in our 50's.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eliza Thomason View Post
    Yes, an important difference - well, fairly important. You typo'ed one of those, so if she is ESFj then she is your Conflictor, and ENFj means she is your Supervisor and both are a challenge for you. Well, you would be on more equal footing if she is ESFj... and I know two couples in that exact Conflictor relationship who have survived the long-haul, but its been tough going. It is a challenge, but my idea is that all relationships can work, with rock solid commitment and flexibility and not expecting the other person to take the place of God in your life. Also both of you being fairly sane helps.

    One thing that helps is to be quite sure you are self-typed correctly. People come here with different degrees of sureness on that. I wonder how sure you are on your two types?

    Maine coast sounds great!
    Eliza: Yes, I'm an obvious NOOB to Socionics. I'm still living in the MBTI paradigm. Having done a bit of reading this morning, I'm pretty confident that I'm INTp/ILI and he (yes, we're a gay couple) is ESFj/ESE.

    FF

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    Quote Originally Posted by seriousguy View Post
    It could be possible that he / she is using the MBTI's conventions.
    You indeed are correct. Socionics NOOB here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    I'm pretty confident that I'm INTp/ILI and he (yes, we're a gay couple) is ESFj/ESE.
    There are no INTp. there are INTP, which are also called ILI. And there is common wrongly identified types, - the average accuracy is <50%. From point of Socionics relations of the mentioned types are rather doubtful, if they are long and you think them as good. I recommend you to check your type, at least.
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1096450

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    I used INTp instead of INTP based on this: http://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/ILI-INTp/

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    Serious Left-Static Negativist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Eliza: Yes, I'm an obvious NOOB to Socionics. I'm still living in the MBTI paradigm. Having done a bit of reading this morning, I'm pretty confident that I'm INTp/ILI and he (yes, we're a gay couple) is ESFj/ESE.

    FF
    Oh, I see. Well, then, if it is as you say, INTp/ESFj, then that makes "Supervision" relations. These work better for more casual or business type relations, but one-on-one - its sometimes considered the worst position to be in of all to be the Supervisee/Audited (that's you in this). It is also frustrating for the Supervisor, but it is much worse for you.

    "These relationships are dangerous by the fact that unlike conflict relations, it is very difficult to break them, but their effects on the person can be deleterious. " - that's the theme, more fleshed out by some of these authors: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...sion-relations (Gulenko has some advice on getting along there).

    So I am giving you bad news, if you have not found it already yourself. I suppose some puzzling conflicts got you wondering and maybe brought you to Socionics to learn more.

    I always find this frightening about Supervision Relations: "Generally speaking, the closer the relationship, the more dangerous the situation is. This is especially true for family relationships, where communication takes place at very close distances. The process of communication in such situations involves all functions, so that the audit can be quite severe. When it is impossible to avoid such communication the audited may even suffer mental illness" -Filatova

    Yes, so instead of healing you mentally it can make you mental.... However, there are other details and explanations in the article that may be more positive and applicable to you than the ones I am pointing out.

    And if none of it sounds quite right you might want to figure out if one of your types is figured wrong. Because likely that would be it.
    "A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
    ........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........


    "Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
    by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
    attitude acceptable to today's standards."
    - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"

    .
    .
    .


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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Me: INTp
    He: ESFj

    I should've clarified further. We're both gay men in our 50's.
    Thank you for clarifying. Well my mom is INTp and my dad was ESFp while my sister is ESFj. From very person experience I can add the following. My father was very serious externally and his humor was more subtle less willing to personally offend my mom. I find that when ESE reach a negative place they can criticise their society and the norms in it undermining the person implications or personal experience of others which upsets ILI who tells them that those things are not personal and don't be so negative. SEE, in general are not negative. SEE may state behavior in others that are right or wrong but are not negative and are nice.

    ESE common comments are "well, if I was in charge I would kill 7 billion people to reduce the human population as to make the planet a better place for the environment.," you won't see SEE saying stuff like this they are more focused on an individual's character "a man had to learn the proper things to say in such a way as to get the other person in front of them to do what they want without coming off like an ass hole" how to find the right approach as to make a meaningful impression. Manipulation of force and will. INTp really appreciate SEE approach to human relations and think of them as nice people.

    ESE too can make ILI live a balanced life because the ILI loves the outgoing nature of ESE. Loves that ESE takes them to museums ect. Duality is more relaxing so SEE just take ILI on road trips or hang out with family or strawberry festivals where the senses can be awakened. ESE doesn't really go to strawberry festivals unless it's a school project. Also ESE don't like never ending to do lists while SEE let ILI do what they want and can ignore the ILI criticism lol.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    If you are indeed in a relationship of Supervision, it may not be as bad as Eliza or her link make it out to be. I was married to my Supervisor for many years, it was mostly good-to-great, and we only divorced because she didn't want to live with me (she was OK being married to me).

    However, in Socionics, there are things called subtypes, where a person's type leans more toward the first or second dominant function, and this affects how the person appears. My SLI ex leaned strongly toward Te, and that made our relationship more like Mirrors, which is considered to be much, much better than Supervision.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    If you are indeed in a relationship of Supervision, it may not be as bad as Eliza or her link make it out to be. I was married to my Supervisor for many years, it was mostly good-to-great, and we only divorced because she didn't want to live with me (she was OK being married to me).

    However, in Socionics, there are things called subtypes, where a person's type leans more toward the first or second dominant function, and this affects how the person appears. My SLI ex leaned strongly toward Te, and that made our relationship more like Mirrors, which is considered to be much, much better than Supervision.
    Supervision does have mirror qualities but I thought the op was talking about conflict

    In any case, with conflict relationship the conflict breaks down along the lines of Fe and Fi values Fe being more about what's good action in a non person level and Fi about personal feelings and relationships. With Si and Se, ESE want to enjoy, relax, and be hedonist while SEE ignore those states, SEE will will push force themselves to work tirelessly or indulge excessively. They need someone who doesn't pay all that close attention to health and exercise. My mom never complained about how my dad would cook ridiculously fancy meals and eat till he got diabetes lol. I find that ESE will notice their weight and periodically go after wanting to watch their cholesterol or lose weight. My dad got extremely lazy for long periods of time and never used his will to change things around while his brother, also an SEE pushed himself to lose weight and get in shape when he got diabetes. So extremes but certainly a lot of lines are crossed making them seem deceptively similar.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Supervision does have mirror qualities but I thought the op was talking about conflict
    Oh, you are right. All the bouncing back and forth between type nomenclature threw me off.

    Having said that, being with your Dual will give you a good life. Being with your Conflictor will make you a Philosopher.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Being with your Conflictor will make you a Philosopher.
    just will drain your nerves

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Oh, you are right. All the bouncing back and forth between type nomenclature threw me off.

    Having said that, being with your Dual will give you a good life. Being with your Conflictor will make you a Philosopher.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    I used INTp instead of INTP based on this: http://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/ILI-INTp/
    Using of INTp is senseless, as these 4 letters just mean 4 preferences. They are same and one (E/I) is compatible with socionics, so this designation can be as INTP = ILI, without variants.
    If MBT would had no preferences as main typing instrument, but had as such their wrong functional model for introverts - then there could be sense to change notations. But MBT uses MBTI as main instrument, - preferences/dichotomies.

    You may meet a lot of doubtful, wrong or baseless things on Socionics sites. Some of this info is not Socionics at all, just used often with Socionics theories (like Reinin's dichotomies), or is random hypotheses of random people.

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    I'll clarify over time whether we are indeed what I believe us to be. He's a methodical, practical, driven, non-stop Energizer bunny, who lives to protect and nurture. He's huge on minimizing conflict, big family person, responsible to a fault, frugal to the point of it simply being entertaining, and indeed does have a propensity to talk and talk to fill the void, even if it's repeating things he's told me a number of times before. But he's also got a heart of gold, loves meeting people, isn't annoyed by smalltalk, sees the good in everyone, and is a huge outdoors guy who pulls me out of my self-involved little box and has me doing things outdoors that I'd likely never do on my own. Aside from the chatter, which can get a little tedious at times, he's a joy to be with. I delight in the fact that he and I share a remarkable number of interests. It's uncanny actually. I however am the creative, unconventional, non-conforming entrepreneurial planner, researcher and designer who gets exhausted at the thought of monotonous implementation; he's the tireless, optimistic implementor. As he's said to me on numerous occasions: "I thrive in any environment where someone has given me the rules and tells me what ultimately needs to be accomplished." He fails at virtually nothing because he simply doesn't give up. If a door shuts, he finds a window. If the window is locked; he digs a hole. I'm the erratic, impulsive, efficient, procrastinating rabbit who sees the forest for the trees; he's the reliable, logical, linear, methodical tortoise who chips away at things every day until he crosses the finish line.

    Hope this helps.

    FF

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    I'll clarify over time whether we are indeed what I believe us to be. He's a methodical, practical, driven, non-stop Energizer bunny, who lives to protect and nurture. He's huge on minimizing conflict, big family person, responsible to a fault, frugal to the point of it simply being entertaining, and indeed does have a propensity to talk and talk to fill the void, even if it's repeating things he's told me a number of times before. But he's also got a heart of gold, loves meeting people, isn't annoyed by smalltalk, sees the good in everyone, and is a huge outdoors guy who pulls me out of my self-involved little box and has me doing things outdoors that I'd likely never do on my own. Aside from the chatter, which can get a little tedious at times, he's a joy to be with. I delight in the fact that he and I share a remarkable number of interests. It's uncanny actually. I however am the creative, unconventional, non-conforming entrepreneurial dreamer who gets exhausted at the thought of monotonous implementation; he's the tireless, optimistic implementor. As he's said to me on numerous occasions: "I thrive in any environment where someone has given me the rules and tells me what ultimately needs to be accomplished." He fails at virtually nothing because he simply doesn't give up. If a door shuts, he finds a window. If the window is locked; he digs a hole. I'm the erratic, impulsive, efficient, procrastinating rabbit who sees the forest for the trees; he's the reliable, logical, linear, methodical tortoise who chips away at things every day until he crosses the finish line.

    Hope this helps.

    FF
    That does sound more like conflict relationship. All the things that I stated which are that ESE are outgoing, share interests with ILI, take them outdoors, ESE talk a lot as they are extroverts. How about the things that he says that annoy you or don't agree with your ideas and values in the approach to individuals and society most importantly?

    ESE take good care of people that they know personally as they are caregivers but their philosophy on enjoyment, relaxation, and social views don't align with ILI. ESE do want to know what their partner wants them to do because they are pleases, SEE broach boundaries in different ways. Also the approach that SEE take to sexual desire of ILI is different. This may not be very apparent to the ILI at first but soon the ILI will realize that ESE is not using his will as he should be.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    I used INTp instead of INTP based on this: http://www.sociotype.com/socionics/types/ILI-INTp/
    Don't let Sol confuse you with his MBTI talk.

    Read everything for yourself and then decide which fits best. I learned, through reading, that my own type is a combination of two MBTI type descriptions INFJ/P. Not taking function stack into consideration.

    If you are not sure whether you are Ni or Ti base then read about the socionics functions. INTP is Ti base in MBTI. INTp is Ni in socionics. There is a lot of confusion so treat this as a separate system.

    I thought i had to be INFj when I first joined this forum but when I read the description it was not me. I read INFp and that one was the best fit out of the 16.

    INTPs’ Functional Stack
    Dominant function: Introverted Thinking (Ti)
    Auxiliary function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)
    Tertiary function: Introverted Sensing (Si)
    Inferior function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)




    Introverted Intuition (Ni, )

    Introverted intuition in ILIs is predominantly characterized by well developed imaginative abilities and mental wanderings. ILI often spend a great deal of time simply thinking and may spend excessive amounts of time in their mind. Most ILIs somehow manage to spend most of their time in their minds regardless of the responsibilities with which they are burdened. This mental focus can be manifest by reflecting on scenarios, on pondering bodies of information, and assorted concepts of interest. They may be prone to excessive day dreaming, in creation of intricate inner worlds or universes, or in mentally replaying elements of their own personal experience. ILIs may even have novelistic tendencies where they create intricate plots, characters, and places, though many ILIs may be generally unmotivated to display such creativity. However, ILIs are not always inclined to share their imaginative tendencies or thoughts with others.

    The mind of an ILI is an oasis of sorts where knowledge is treated as a toy or even a vehicle that allows them to visit complex mental landscapes that are shaped and continually revised by new information. Nonetheless, an ILI is likely to find the process of accumulating new information tiresome and requiring too much of their energy; consequently, new information is often accumulated and updated in a rather lethargic, periodic, and occasionally incomplete fashion.

    ILIs are often stereotypically represented as reclusive scholars, philosophers, scientists, artists, seers, and sages. The ILI, with their often unusual perceptions, may come across as unreachable, esoteric eccentrics. Because ILIs are confident about analyzing the implications of the knowledge that they have gathered, ILIs often appear perceptive, especially in fields of interest, and commonly tend to view the ideas of others with skepticism and scrutiny. ILIs may tend perceive others' intellectual contributions as deeply misguided or limited in scope, and may hold the viewpoint that many people do not know what they're talking about on a particular topic of interest.

    ILIs predict inevitable disaster not altogether infrequently. This type of fatalism is spurned by their ability to see the negative in anything, which has its roots in the ILI's general dislike of expressing or reinforcing positive emotions. To an ILI, it may be easier to predict pessimistic results in order to avoid an unpleasant emotional reaction. Likewise, the ILI's sense of general self doubt leads him to be very conservative in his general outlook; why unnecessarily subject oneself to the uncertainty of possible disappointment?

    ILIs typically exhibit a general detachment from day-to-day affairs. While an ILI might devote a great deal of time to his inner thoughts, very little attention is likely to be paid to such tasks as household maintenance or cleanliness, which the ILI sees as trivial matters not deserving of his time or effort.

    ILIs can, in certain situations, act very tentatively. In many situations they are inclined to hesitate prior to taking any action or making important decisions. They may commonly be pervasively plagued by gnawing doubts on any topic that they contemplate. They may also prefer to observe and gather an understanding of a situation rather than actively participate. The ILI's restraint complements the hyperactivity of his dual, the SEE.

    Extroverted Logic (Te, )

    ILIs place great importance on factual accuracy and a basic understanding of how things work. Their views and perceptions naturally take into account any new factual information. For this reason, ILI's are often characterized by a nagging and constant sense of doubt, contradiction, and misinformation. They tend to be rather skeptical of other people's positions, and even frequently tend to question their own position. In groups the ILI will often question the validity of information being exchanged. Likewise, ILIs sometimes use a mocking and aggressive tone if they believe that the information being presented is wrong or absurd. ILIs can also be scrupulous in removing errors in facts and statistical data, especially in undertakings that they consider as high priorities.

    A sense of the efficiency of the goings-on in an ILI's life is a prerequisite of sorts for the peace of an ILI. This manifests very differently in ILIs from SLIs; the latter are much more likely to be proactive about making their physical environment comfortable and managed with an efficient use of resources. By contrast, ILIs are largely indifferent about their physical surroundings, and their desire for efficient allocation of resources may extend to less tangible forms, such as the allocation of resources in a game or real world political (ideological) scenario, or the efficiency of a computer program or corresponding piece of code. An ILI may demonstrate such perfectionistic tendencies most conspicuously in such situations where they can work out the details in their head or on paper.

    ILIs may differ significantly from Te dominant types in that they may not see it as critical to channel their energy on direct actions to achieve practical and societal gain, and indeed often do not even pursue the accumulation of new information very actively. ILIs may not directly associate their knowledge with any given purpose rather than to further their own understanding. They are also not very proactive at getting things done in the real world. While ILIs do recognize the necessity of gathering knowledge required for their day to day functioning -- forms, maps, directions -- they may develop a chronic habit of disinterestedly and lazily spurning such menial errands (especially if they need to physically talk to someone else to do something; it may be somewhat easier for them to simply do their errands if the relevant information merely requires looking up on the internet, or is otherwise easily accessible without bothering anyone).

    Often ILIs have a deep factual understanding of subjects or specialized fields of interest which they find interesting or care about. Sometimes ILIs perceive the real-world occurrences around them, such as the daily tedium of work or school, through the lens created to understand the information that they care about most, although they may choose not to share this perception with others. They often have little to contribute in many social situations, but when the topic of their interest comes around they may tend to be the center of attention, disseminating the information of their expertise.

    ILIs can often be highly critical of others' ideas and actions. Typically this is because others' ideas violate the ILI's understanding of the facts, or because ILIs see more efficient or workable solutions. ILIs often channel their energy towards constructive criticism because they frequently lack the initiative to take decisive action themselves. They may also channel their criticism into humor typically coated with irony, cynicism, witticisms, and sarcasm. Like LIEs, they may be inclined to see others around them as essentially ignorant or incompetent, and sarcastic responses directed towards individuals whose ideas they see as foolish can be commonplace.

    Ego Block

    Introverted Logic (Ti, )

    LIIs are adept at organizing their understanding into structured thought. They may organize their cogitations into categories, diagrams, formulaic descriptions, or complex step by step explanations. LIIs may have an uncanny knack for understanding, constructing, and deconstructing the abstract and delicate internal workings of abstract systems like computers, natural phenomena, gadgets, abstract concepts, mathematical equations, and anything that captures their interest. They may be extremely precise in their understanding and can tend strive for highly detailed realizations. They can be skilled at synthesizing new information and incorporating into their established categories. They are often attracted to fields like mathematics, physics, chemistry, or other areas of study that deal with highly structured information systems.

    LIIs are often highly attuned to the premises of logical consistency and adherence to predefined principles. They may use such unifying principles as a basis off of which to make normative or philosophical judgments and often seek to communicate these ideas to others. LIIs can be difficult for others to understand because they tend to avoid explaining the intermediate steps in their reasoning, seeing only the conclusion as important.LIIs are, in the colloquial sense, highly rational creatures and may pride themselves on so being. They may live highly structured or regimented lifestyles and can be quite proactive.



    Extroverted Intuition (Ne, )

    LIIs are greatly in tune with novel connections and the possibilities that exist which they could see their systems and analyses applied towards. They are able to see a myriad of concepts and hence strive to cover different and new fields which have not been touched by their logical analysis. They may avoid harping on one area for too long, instead preferring to expand their theoretical constructs, covering various territory through time; to restrict their logical scope would be to hinder true understanding.

    LIIs' primary focus in developing new ideas is to categorize, systematize, and promote understanding about them. They may tend to see novel ideas that have no implications or relevance to a larger ideational framework as disinteresting and pointless. At the same time, LIIs are often minimally interested in real-world application of their ideas, instead preferring abstract and theoretical speculation. They often tend towards contemplative academic fields which allow for abstract speculation to be realized in concrete conclusions.

    LIIs typically tolerate unusual lifestyles and they usually tolerate differing viewpoints.
    So basically, forget everything you thought you knew and start fresh. If you try to make sense of the correlations before you know your base function then you will drive yourself crazy. I am projecting on that last part.

    Welcome to the forum.
    Last edited by Aylen; 06-28-2016 at 05:30 PM.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    That does sound more like conflict relationship...How about the things that he says that annoy you or don't agree with your ideas and values in the approach to individuals and society most importantly?
    He and I have only been seriously dating for about six weeks, although we've casually known each other for the past 8 years. Our timing simply hadn't been in sync. The biggest area of conflict in which I think we could lock horns is that of my impulsivity and leanings toward indulgence and immediate gratification vs. his frugality, practicality and leanings toward asceticism. This reared its head just this past weekend when I learned we'd left to do something two hours later than we'd originally considered (and at a slightly less ideal time) because "the $5 parking would be free." It's really minor stuff, but we're also very, very early into our relationship.

    FF

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    He and I have only been seriously dating for about six weeks, although we've casually known each other for the past 8 years. Our timing simply hadn't been in sync. The biggest area of conflict in which I think we could lock horns is that of my impulsivity and leanings toward indulgence and immediate gratification vs. his frugality, practicality and leanings toward asceticism. This reared its head just this past weekend when I learned we'd left to do something two hours later than we'd originally considered (and at a slightly less ideal time) because "the $5 parking would be free."

    FF
    Lol that's planning ahead, isn't it

    Oh that would drive my mom insane.

    The frugality will be lessened when he has more money. But still you are not focusing on information exchange. It's not that he's frugal it's that his thinking is linear because he's Ej temperament
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Him:

    Norm!.jpg normster1.jpg
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by FeloniousFunk; 06-28-2016 at 06:17 PM.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I asked my brother who is SEE and he said he would pay the $5
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I'll undoubtedly end up paying the $5, which is irrelevant to me. I'm more concerned about when it comes to a dozen of those situations every day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    I'll undoubtedly end up paying the $5, which is irrelevant to me. I'm more concerned about when it comes to a dozen of those situations every day.
    Here's my SEE brother and his SEE wife


    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post

    The frugality will be lessened when he has more money.
    Oh, he HAS the money. And it's because he's frugal. And I certainly can't fault him for that.

    He retired early; I'll be working for another ten years. Tortoise / Hare


    FF

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Me:
    Wow, you look so much how I imagine my friend will look someday!

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Oh, he HAS the money. And it's because he's frugal. And I certainly can't fault him for that.

    He retired early; I'll be working for another ten years. Tortoise / Hare


    FF
    Wow isn't that nice. I'll be working all of my life lol
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    How about the things that he says that annoy you or don't agree with your ideas and values in the approach to individuals and society most importantly?
    So far, we seem to be on relatively the same plane regarding our ideas and values, at least as it pertains to individuals and society. He however is quick to give people the benefit of the doubt, whereas I'm often waiting for the other shoe to fall.


    FF

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Hope this helps.
    Helps to add doubts about ILI as your type.
    If your are interested in typing, it needs videointerview, not photos.

    "his frugality, practicality and leanings toward asceticism"

    not about ESFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Read everything for yourself and then decide which fits best.
    4-letter type code means preferences and MBT type by preferences mostly. So the only thing to read is description of dichotomies in MBT and Socionics. To read "everything" or anything else, means to read unrelated to the type which MBTI dudes say.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    So far, we seem to be on relatively the same plane regarding our ideas and values, at least as it pertains to individuals and society. He however is quick to give people the benefit of the doubt, whereas I'm often waiting for the other shoe to fall.


    FF
    What will you do now?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    If your are [sic] interested in typing, it needs videointerview, not photos.
    Sol,

    When I'm ready to have full video interviews conducted of both parties to sate your curiosity, I'll make sure you're the first person notified.

    Until then, chill. Thanks, man.


    FF

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    What will you do now?
    Just live life and see where this takes the both of us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    Helps to add doubts about ILI as your type.
    If your are interested in typing, it needs videointerview, not photos.



    4-letter type code means preferences and MBT type by preferences mostly. So the only thing to read is description of dichotomies in MBT and Socionics. To read "everything" or anything else, means to read unrelated to the type which MBTI dudes say.
    Oh please. If you don't know what the functions are and how they operate then how are you to know if you use them? Telling someone that all they have to do is make a video, then you will tell them more about themselves than they know is misleading. Many people did videos and you didn't have an answer even when it was you telling them to do it. Your typings are very subjective, no matter how much data you gather.

    Self-awareness and understanding of relationships is something people have to work out for themselves. It doesn't help to make such claims that a video can help. You read my posts and I waited a long time to show you mine. You even based your typing of me on video + posts. He just landed here and he has his own agenda for looking into this. I agree it won't help if the typings are wrong but he has to sort that himself. No magic bullet, for what troubles us, will be revealed in a video. Read his posts then suggest a video. I still think you're meh, "ok" though. I am not as irritated as I may seem to others. I bet with your intuition you already knew that.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    Quote Originally Posted by FeloniousFunk View Post
    Until then, chill
    Besides general doubts in what people think about own types, your behavior contradicts to the type you think about yourself. Until there will be irrelevant info or behavior from your side, - there will stay reasons to correct you. You'd better listen and chill when you have nothing reasonable to argue against.

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