Gray hair

[SongOfSapphire]

What do you think of gray hair?

I have a friend, J, who started going gray in her twenties and now, at 34 years old, has a head of gray hair which she leaves natural. It is, imo, beautiful -- straight and thick and silver. Another friend of mine thinks it's "ridiculous" that J has chosen not to color her hair. My second friend's judgemental-ness, aside, this got me thinking and wondering about the perception of people, especially women, who let their hair go gray vs. coloring it.

So do tell: when you see a person w gray hair, what (if anything) do you think? And do you assume they are lazy or sloppy or careless, or do you assume they are distinguished or striking or wise? Like I said, I'm especially curious about the perception of women since 1 - I am a woman, and 2 - women seem to be held to stricter standards wrt appearance and grooming.

And do or will you color your hair, or let it be?

[SongOfSapphire]

I'll answer my own question: I might not pay attention either way, or I might think it is striking and beautiful (like my friend's). It doesn't matter to me either way, and I'm not sure whether I'll color my own hair when it turns gray as it seems like a lot of work and expense to keep up w something that is ultimately unnecessary imo. I would rather put effort into keeping fit and well-groomed to be attractive, while letting my hair color be what it is (as for the texture, on the other hand... but that's another ball of wax).

[Beautiful sky]

I would take after my LSE manager, cousin and ESE sister and die my hair. Unless I lived in a rural farm

I don't mind what others do.

[Adam Strange]

What do you think of gray hair?

I have a friend, J, who started going gray in her twenties and now, at 34 years old, has a head of gray hair which she leaves natural. It is, imo, beautiful -- straight and thick and silver. Another friend of mine thinks it's "ridiculous" that J has chosen not to color her hair. My second friend's judgemental-ness, aside, this got me thinking and wondering about the perception of people, especially women, who let their hair go gray vs. coloring it.

So do tell: when you see a person w gray hair, what (if anything) do youn think? And do you assume they are lazy or sloppy or careless, or do you assume they are distinguished or striking or wise? Like I said, I'm especially curious about the perception of women since 1 - I am a women, and 2 - women seem to be held to stricter standards wrt appearance and grooming.

And do or will you color your hair, or let it be?

Objectively, I think that the early onset of gray hair signifies significant stress on the immune system. My SLI ex and her two younger sisters, an IEE and an IEI, all had pretty difficult childhoods and all went totally gray in their 20's, although it started sooner.
The IEI was on a canoe trip, showed signs of fibromyalgia, and died of it a couple of years later. The IEE developed Bell's Palsey about the same time, but has since recovered. The SLI-ex developed breast cancer, but is fine now. Make of that what you will.

Subjectively, I read a study which said men prefer two kinds of hair color, red and salt-and-pepper. My ex had both. She stopped coloring her hair after she had our son, and she looked great.

When I see a woman with gray hair, I only judge her negatively if it is not well-kept. I otherwise assume she is doing her thing, and it is not for me to comment.

I started finding gray hairs when I was in my 30's. At this point, the hair at my temples is gray/silver, but the rest is still brown. Since I'm dating, I asked my hairdresser, Jeffrey, if I should color my hair. He said I should not, because I happen to be lucky that it is a good shade for me right now. I'll take that as a No. Which is good. Coloring my hair would be a pain in the ass.

[weirdleftovers]

I love natural gray and I'm not a fan of this current gray hair fad. I embrace my few gray strands and look forward to many more.

[Aylen]

You reminded me of another thread and I thought they were similar but not really.

The women in my family have the coolest silvery, LOTR, white shade when they get older so I am looking forward to having that shade. When they tried to dye it away it actually made them look older. I convinced my mom to stop dying when hers started coming in all white and sparkly. I was jealous. hahah

I have been dying my hair all different colors, on and off, since I was like 13. I am unsure what my natural color is, at this point. I did take a long break a few years ago. Now the roots always look kind of an ash brown when compared to the rest of my hair. I always had gold highlights in my hair and sometimes even some reddish highlights (in the sun) when I had my natural color. My natural color never looked ash brown until I started dying it again. The roots always looked like a light golden brown or blonde depending on what shade I was using, before. I was medium blonde for most of my childhood.

I think people should do whatever makes them feel good about themselves. Someone is going to have something to say no matter which way you go so no need to stress about things like that.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I think gray hair looks ugly. But on both women and men....maybe even uglier on guys.

[ashlesha]

my grandma had a single silver stripe towards the front of her hair, and it looked really cool like it was done on purpose. I was hoping I'd have the same luck but I've got a few random crinkly grays on the top of my head now. i don't care about them or give it much thought. i don't plan on ever dyeing them out unless i happen to feel like dyeing my hair for a change of style anyway.

I don't care about gray hair on other people enough to have an opinion for this thread, but i guess there's something cool about a woman under 50 or so sporting a ton of it and not giving a shit.

[marooned]

i'll dye my hair fanatically after it turns. i'm not looking forward to the future of hair care for me since it will be more work that what i currently do with my hair (which is almost nothing).

[darya]

It depends if the hair turns silvery gray or ugly stripy yellow gray- in first case it can look really cool if styled carefully, in the second you can quickly look homeless. I don't care about others, some older women look very striking and refined with gray hair. Women with unstyled gray hair otoh are refreshing, because they give zero fucks. I personally am not a natural type, so you would have to pry hair dye from my cold, dead hands.

[lemontrees]

I totally thought this would reference the fashion trend:

http://www.today.com/style/gray-hair...-try-it-t18661

^IMO IRL it usually looks pretty bad, you have to be striking to pull it off.

[ouronis]

I think it's fine.

[Eliza Thomason]

I really like these gray hair supporters. You are real pick-me-ups! I decided a long time ago when a few gray hairs appeared that I would leave them be. Especially as I had my "color season", Summer, (now refined to Soft Summer Light in the 16-color palette) and saw that my season would "gray most gracefully", which makes sense since my hair color is ash brown - already in the category. So that helped me make this decision before I even got grays, and yes, its an easy way to go and that works for me. And when the grays started coming in, they were not too jarring with my ash brown hair and blue eyes. (Chestnut is a much prettier shade of brown than ash, but I know it would look brassy on me, so I stick with the color I am). Also I have fine hair, and the grays added a bit of body which is helpful in the dry indoor winter air when I fight flatness.

With some people covering grays really looks better, . My sis-in-law has thick black hair, and her few grays strands were attention-getters because because of the big color difference and also they were coarser and a bit wavy and "stuck out" on her nice smooth straight thick black hair. So she started coloring when that got out of hand, and it worked on her. And some people have always looked great with some color changes. People with light to mid brown hair almost always look good with highlights or blond coloring, IMO. But people with medium to dark brown hair who color when they go gray - it can be tricky, unless you can carry off going red-brown. Deep red brown would not suit me, and I was always afraid that would happen to me and as I see it happen to so many brunettes who were not going for that look. Then there are the stylish who use their hair as their art material and those that do that can usually pull it off.

I have noticed that even a less-good coloring job looks better than gray hair in a lot of lighting conditions, and then in other conditions, it looks unnatural. (That's when i say: I couldn't carry that off). On the other hand, while well-kept gray hair looks great and attractive in some lighting, in others, it looks just plain old.

So I have gone through a slowly changing mix salt and pepper. Until fairly recently I could count on occasional compliments on my hair color, like, a stranger approaching me to say so in a store - more than once! Sincere, I believe. Sometimes probably because they wondered, "I wonder if that's how my hair would look now if I never colored it" (because once you go with coloring it, you never know)... But then, the gray slowly aims to crowd out the color...and now I must admit that 50% is here... And, in a couple of small spots, MORE.

Another thing is, in the bright sunlight, its the gray that catches the light and stands out, not the brown. And if I see my reflection in a window when I am standing in the sun, it can surprise me - "Who is that?" And compliments on my hair color seem more rare lately... so I have begun to wonder if I have done the right thing...

However, there is the fact that my husband likes me the way I am. My husband says - right now at this moment, in fact - and I am quoting him - that he "could never be comfortable with a woman who dyes her hair - probably because it represents a level of vanity that she might try to impose on me." Then he adds, "There is something very comforting about gray hair". Aww.

So anyway I go back to my original thought I had, before this gray issue even arose, that issue that we women in particular think about - and that thought is pretty much what @Sapphire says now: better to work on fitness and grooming. Yes, I would rather put the effort into that. And styling a put-together look - which I can do, when I put the effort into it...

[niffer]

If you have a head of thick grey hair and the rest of your features are young, you can kinda look like an android which is awesome

[marooned]

i think the really disturbing thing about gray hair is it has a terrible texture... crone hair. my hair is really fine so maybe it won't go so crone-like, but i'm not feeling optimistic.

[Eliza Thomason]

i think the really disturbing thing about gray hair is it has a terrible texture... crone hair. my hair is really fine so maybe it won't go so crone-like, but i'm not feeling optimistic.

Mine is fine, and the grays also come in fine, only slightly thicker but the same texture (a slight wave)... people have all different kinds of hair and it comes out all different for all kinds of hair.

Did you know many redheads don't really gray? They fade, instead. But often, no gray. So jealous...