So recently i've watched myself carefully to produce an example of what i think is a function, but the trouble is i don't know function it is.
I had a neighbour called Mary, she was a nice lady but had a bad tendency to gossip .. like a lot, and she was very untrustworthy, so naturally i took a distance from her and watched what i said to her, my mum noticed the same characteristic in her so we both used to avoid her and deal with her carefully. Eventually we moved house. Me and my family regularly go to our Kingdom Hall, so when we moved house we had to find a new one, so we found one we liked. We knew someone there, we weren't necessarily friends but we knew of each other, so now that we're in the same congregation we could get to know each other better, lets call this woman Kyla. So when we could finally get a chance to speak to kyla and her husband and introduced ourselves, she recognised us aswell. Now my initial impression of kyla was a person that was very loud, she was a typical loud expressive kind of woman, although it didn't put me off, my social alarm bells picked up a "watch out " vibe, then as we were talking she mentioned that she's very good friends with Mary, infact they're such good friends she came to stay at her house last week !
(The but i think is function related)
So as we got home i instantly said to my mum "the fact Mary and Kyla are such good friends means instant trouble, i dont think we shouldn't trust her, i bet she gossips like her"
then my mum said " I was thinking exactly the same thing ! She seems like a woman that is very dependent on people and cant make her own mind up, so she'll just listen to what mary has to say about us rather than find out for herself, i've got my eye on her too."
So after weeks of observation i said to my mum "Im sure Kyla has told Mary that we moved to her church, i bet they're gossiping about us", then my mum said "well sooner or later we'll find out", then next week after church my mum whispered to me "you were right, whenever i try and speak to Kyla, she always turns her and avoids me" lol.
So in this new meeting im watching everyone and i saw this man, he's very loud and sociable, but he's also really mean, and he even says he's mean, and i wanted to know why he was so verbally abusive,he invited me and my family out, i kept in mind he was a very mean person who doesn't say sensible things, so i prepared myself, but as the course of the evening escalated, he was very sensible and very subdued, he was still making jokes but they were very slap-sticky, i was obviously laughing along with him but i was also observing very critically *fastforwad*
(The bit i think is function related )
so as i was mulling over the evening (as i do ) i said to my mum "I think (lets call him John) John is very hurt and damaged inside, he looks very vulnerable, that's why he makes loads of mean jokes and attracts that kind of attention, also i'm sure thats why he talks so much about his wealth and expensive holidays"
then she said " i was thinking the exact same thing, he looks very weak like hes been through something that's crushed him, i get the feeling of "feeling sorry for him"
then i said "yeah i agree, its like i want to help him rather than laugh with him, becasue he looks very internally weak so he overcompensates by being externally "strong"
SO these are just a few examples that happen regularly, its almost as if i can instantly dismantle people right in front of them, and the funny thing is these insights , if i can call them that, are just feelings inside me, its like i can pick up on things and put it together, even though they have not basis in the real world. In reality, I don't know if Mary has gossiped about us, but im 99% sure she has, i don't know if John is the happiest man in the world, but i would highly doubt it.
SO do any of you have thoughts regarding this, what function do you think im using ?