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Thread: Guess the function im using.

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    Default Guess the function im using.

    So recently i've watched myself carefully to produce an example of what i think is a function, but the trouble is i don't know function it is.

    Scenario 1

    Backstory.

    I had a neighbour called Mary, she was a nice lady but had a bad tendency to gossip .. like a lot, and she was very untrustworthy, so naturally i took a distance from her and watched what i said to her, my mum noticed the same characteristic in her so we both used to avoid her and deal with her carefully. Eventually we moved house. Me and my family regularly go to our Kingdom Hall, so when we moved house we had to find a new one, so we found one we liked. We knew someone there, we weren't necessarily friends but we knew of each other, so now that we're in the same congregation we could get to know each other better, lets call this woman Kyla. So when we could finally get a chance to speak to kyla and her husband and introduced ourselves, she recognised us aswell. Now my initial impression of kyla was a person that was very loud, she was a typical loud expressive kind of woman, although it didn't put me off, my social alarm bells picked up a "watch out " vibe, then as we were talking she mentioned that she's very good friends with Mary, infact they're such good friends she came to stay at her house last week !

    (The but i think is function related)

    So as we got home i instantly said to my mum "the fact Mary and Kyla are such good friends means instant trouble, i dont think we shouldn't trust her, i bet she gossips like her"

    then my mum said " I was thinking exactly the same thing ! She seems like a woman that is very dependent on people and cant make her own mind up, so she'll just listen to what mary has to say about us rather than find out for herself, i've got my eye on her too."

    So after weeks of observation i said to my mum "Im sure Kyla has told Mary that we moved to her church, i bet they're gossiping about us", then my mum said "well sooner or later we'll find out", then next week after church my mum whispered to me "you were right, whenever i try and speak to Kyla, she always turns her and avoids me" lol.


    Scenario 2

    Backstory

    So in this new meeting im watching everyone and i saw this man, he's very loud and sociable, but he's also really mean, and he even says he's mean, and i wanted to know why he was so verbally abusive,he invited me and my family out, i kept in mind he was a very mean person who doesn't say sensible things, so i prepared myself, but as the course of the evening escalated, he was very sensible and very subdued, he was still making jokes but they were very slap-sticky, i was obviously laughing along with him but i was also observing very critically *fastforwad*

    (The bit i think is function related )
    so as i was mulling over the evening (as i do ) i said to my mum "I think (lets call him John) John is very hurt and damaged inside, he looks very vulnerable, that's why he makes loads of mean jokes and attracts that kind of attention, also i'm sure thats why he talks so much about his wealth and expensive holidays"

    then she said " i was thinking the exact same thing, he looks very weak like hes been through something that's crushed him, i get the feeling of "feeling sorry for him"

    then i said "yeah i agree, its like i want to help him rather than laugh with him, becasue he looks very internally weak so he overcompensates by being externally "strong"


    SO these are just a few examples that happen regularly, its almost as if i can instantly dismantle people right in front of them, and the funny thing is these insights , if i can call them that, are just feelings inside me, its like i can pick up on things and put it together, even though they have not basis in the real world. In reality, I don't know if Mary has gossiped about us, but im 99% sure she has, i don't know if John is the happiest man in the world, but i would highly doubt it.

    SO do any of you have thoughts regarding this, what function do you think im using ?
    Last edited by Danali; 08-04-2016 at 07:37 PM.
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    Picking up on social cues to indicate trustworthiness is Fe.

    Fe "Motive" - FeNi, FeSi
    External behavior or cues belie the inner disposition or motive.

    Fe observes the display of feeling or disposition and analyzes motive, the catalyst of the feeling or disposition. Fe analyzes based on a particular disposition or emotional cues. Finely tuned Fe can be "people-smart" and pay attention to determining who is trustworthy and what to expect from their behavior based on hints of emotional and behavioral expressions.

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    And being able to come to a conclusion about a person's characteristics from sparse data is Ni.

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    Hum compared to me I don't sit there and question the motives, the reasons why someone is the way that they are. If they are mean I'll ask someone who may know "why are they mean?" And if I find out that they are mean because they are hurt due to a bad relationship I will pursue them gently and calmly so that I may be a rock and support for that person and that they can find a friend in me. Gently, calm, and there. Like a good friend who they can confide in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Picking up on social cues to indicate trustworthiness is Fe.

    Fe "Motive" - FeNi, FeSi
    External behavior or cues belie the inner disposition or motive.

    Fe observes the display of feeling or disposition and analyzes motive, the catalyst of the feeling or disposition. Fe analyzes based on a particular disposition or emotional cues. Finely tuned Fe can be "people-smart" and pay attention to determining who is trustworthy and what to expect from their behavior based on hints of emotional and behavioral expressions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Hum compared to me I don't sit there and question the motives, the reasons why someone is the way that they are. If they are mean I'll ask someone who may know "why are they mean?" And if I find out that they are mean because they are hurt due to a bad relationship I will pursue them gently and calmly so that I may be a rock and support for that person and that they can find a friend in me. Gently, calm, and there. Like a good friend who they can confide in.
    Then what's Fi ? I thought Fi can tell the internal motive of people and assess whether they're trustworthy or not.

    I'll just watch and observe, when i have an idea of why they act a certain way, i'll then use that information to deal with them accordingly, but not necessarily to help them.
    To call yourself 'plus size' is simply a euphemism for being fat, and who wants to be fat ? ~ Katie Hopkins

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danali View Post
    Then what's Fi ? I thought Fi can tell the internal motive of people and assess whether they're trustworthy or not.
    Provide the person with good relationship (ourselves) and hope things will turn around for them and the world

    Fi is different in Gamma and Delta

    What you wrote is not Fi. It's Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danali View Post
    Then what's Fi ? I thought Fi can tell the internal motive of people and assess whether they're trustworthy or not.

    I'll just watch and observe, when i have an idea of why they act a certain way, i'll then use that information to deal with them accordingly, but not necessarily to help them.
    It seems like you didn't read the functions in my link.

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    Fi "Relation" - FiNe, FiSe
    Relations exist between people and things of differing bonds of attraction or repulsion.

    Fi observes personal attraction and repulsion between people and things, the boundaries of relationships created between people, and how those relationships are in relation to other bonds created in a great web of interpersonal relational tactics, rules, limits, etc. Fi analyzes the levels of personal attraction or repulsion that creates these bonds.

    Fi relations are a tactic, a bond, a unification made inside of and in relation to all of the other existing unities between people. Within it there are certain rules and understandings of what is appropriate and not appropriate to do within the realm of ethics. It's not as simple as "oh, don't use dirty words." Its more like 'we are attracted to eachother (as a bond),' and, sometimes, 'we are not attracted to them.'

    For some it is a tactic they can manipulate, for others it is something that 'happens' to them and they benefit from it. For a Fi base individual, it may be just something that happens. They don't choose it so much as it seems like a fact that colors their whole perception vis a vis these interconnecting bonds. Fi creative individuals may or create those bonds. In some ways it may seem like they have a greater control, or atleast more of an active control, over it than Fi-base.

    Fi isnt the same as "friendship," its about position within a realm of understood positions and relations; not just rules that 'limit'...but rules that are there; so the word use 'tactic' is used. Fi is a 'unification' between people. Fi is an ethical understanding. It's emotional; it's a personal understanding.

    Initiation of a Fi relationship can be as simple as coming into the ownership of a pet or the custody of a child; the emotional bond is the culmination of the relationship, but the initiation is essentially Fi. A Fi relationship was established at the moment tactical emotional or ethical interconnections changed between individuals: now one's role is to look apon the other with love and caretaking; the other's role is to look up to the first with love and obedience. Such are the implicitly understood rules of the Fi understanding.

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    if you make a video @Sol can give you his opinion. but guarantee you that you are not EII

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    if you make a video @Sol can give you his opinion. but guarantee you that you are not EII
    I'm still waiting for my EIE & IEE description
    To call yourself 'plus size' is simply a euphemism for being fat, and who wants to be fat ? ~ Katie Hopkins

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danali View Post
    I'm still waiting for my EIE & IEE description
    Let me start with EIE.

    I had a friend living next door who was EIE She was a flute player and her husband a musician also. She was quite thin and tall. Her posture as she walked was upright and wistful, elegant. Her steps were soft and barely made any noise. They were not horselike but as if she walked on clouds and never broke them.

    I became curious about her and was on a mission to befriend her. Around me her emotions were refrained. She never joked or used sarcasm. In fact, she hardly spoke. She owned three cats and often went out of town. I took this opportunity to become friends by asking her if she might like a sitter. She said yes. The following week I was given keys and one sheet of paper that had the three cat names, which diets they are on, from what bowl and which litter they used. Fairly brief and concise.

    I took care of these cats and when she came back she gave me a journal as a gift saying "I know that you like to write." I had never told her or written in front of her. I did in front of her husband but I thought it was considerate. The next time she went on a trip was longer and they had moved so more distance and work for me (actually very tedious). Her Ej personality shone through. Same sheet of paper, same instructions, very consistent and linear in how she liked things to be done.

    She had a housekeeper both places she lived. Cleaning just wasn't her interest, though the apartment were not big.

    She also picked her clothing she said "a classical style, something that I can wear for many seasons. The dresses were nothing special. They were not very fitting and they were in green tones. Her outfits were not name brands but fit the occasion.

    Once she made me salmon dinner crusted and risotto which she stood by the oven making slowly, carefully but didn't say much or talked. At the table I asked her if she picked out the curtains. She said "I wouldn't get THOSE" I didn't see anything wrong with them. They were red stripped and look Mediterranean style. She has certain tastes and what she gets must be or are from certain places.

    She and I had very little to talk about.

    One of her favorite writers was Wiliem Defoe (like other EIE that I know).

    Here's a quote

    “Let me explain a couple of things. Time is short. That’s the first thing. For the weasel, Time is a weasel. For the hero, Time is heroic. For the whore, Time is just another trick. If you’re gentle, your Time is gentle. If you’re in a hurry, Time flies. Time is a servant, if you are its master. Time is your god, if you are its dog. We are the creators of Time, the victims of Time, and the killers of Time. Time is timeless. That’s the second thing. You are the clock, Cassiel.”
    —*
    Emit Flesti in the movie “Faraway, So close” by Wem Wenders*

    in the movie Emit Fletsi is the personification of time.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 06-10-2016 at 06:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danali View Post
    I'm still waiting for my EIE & IEE description
    One of my dearest IEE friends.

    She was never a strict moralist and she was never completely dedicated to the church but she went (partied with alcohol with tons of friends after). I think it was the social aspects that attracted her at first but then she met a certain man. She became friends with all his sister's and him They were friends for a long time before she got with him. Extremely social. She liked people around. She could have a dirty mouth unlike the EIE. Maybe this was an influence of the boys in her life

    Still, she wanted to marry a man of the same religious beliefs. She did. She loved the freedom of him being far and her following him to New places because she liked new impressions. Vegas to Hawaii to God knows where. Never fully consistent she has a Facebook account then when she moves she deletes it or starts with another name.

    Her food "pizza cheese only, hot dogs plain," she smiled shyly and even blushes from embarrassment at times. That infantile childlike posture, stooped and giggle comes out in her if you talk about something embarrassing.

    At work she made friends with those who she felt needed support. One girl had a baby and she provided gifts ideas for birthday parties. Very much into gatherings, merriment and support. She'd advise her on her troubled marriage.

    She had very little energy. Once I asked her to go shopping for a dress with me and she said "I can only do it for a little at a time." You could tell that was not her passion.

    She did wear soft and comfortable clothes but she hardly stood up on her own two feet. Her posture was not straight and royal. Her walk was hurried. She did not sit for long periods of time without fidgeting.
    Did the ulcers keep her from drinking almost every night with friends? No.

    Also, she sounded like someone who was pure physically. When I asked her about a man I was dating, she said "why don't you f*** him and find out if you like him. I thought that is wrong sorry, I will not just sleep with someone for the experience just to find out if I like him enough to date him. I can see how our moral approach to relationship can butt heads.

    When she broke up with her husband she remained good friends with his sister and reconnecting with him at a party and started to have sex with him again and went back to him.

    So she never cut out the other relationships.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danali View Post
    Then what's Fi ? I thought Fi can tell the internal motive of people and assess whether they're trustworthy or not.

    I'll just watch and observe, when i have an idea of why they act a certain way, i'll then use that information to deal with them accordingly, but not necessarily to help them.
    There is definitely a lot of and in what you're doing - recognizing that this person is bad and should be avoided. There is a mix of and , the first example is more in that you are judging their character. The second one is less clear.

    "I think (lets call him John) John is very hurt and damaged inside, he looks very vulnerable, that's why he makes loads of mean jokes and attracts that kind of attention, also i'm sure thats why he talks so much about his wealth and expensive holidays"

    then she said " i was thinking the exact same thing, he looks very weak like hes been through something that's crushed him, i get the feeling of "feeling sorry for him"

    then i said "yeah i agree, its like i want to help him rather than laugh with him, becasue he looks very internally weak so he overcompensates by being externally "strong"
    My impression is that this is because you are attributing motives specifically to the things he is doing. It's no longer about his character per se but about how he got to be the way he is, and how that is being expressed, which is with .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Let me start with EIE.

    I had a friend living next door who was EIE She was a flute player and her husband a musician also. She was quite thin and tall. Her posture as she walked was upright and wistful, elegant. Her steps were soft and barely made any noise. They were not horselike but as if she walked on clouds and never broke them.
    I wish I could have such a nice effortless walk, I really try, especially in public, but i know that isn't me most of the time, I tend to have a clumsy walk and walk in a zig-saggy pattern, my mum always comments on how my walk is so loud and all over the place, she always encourages me to walk slowly and properly ...whatever that means.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I became curious about her and was on a mission to befriend her. Around me her emotions were refrained. She never joked or used sarcasm. In fact, she hardly spoke. She owned three cats and often went out of town. I took this opportunity to become friends by asking her if she might like a sitter. She said yes. The following week I was given keys and one sheet of paper that had the three cat names, which diets they are on, from what bowl and which litter they used. Fairly brief and concise.
    The extent to which I let my emotions out depend on the vibe I get from the person, I tend to be nice to everyone, but if I get a serious vibe then I'll be serious , but if I can tell someone is really relaxed and fun then i'all be like that, but I'm very sarcastic so regardless of who I, with it may slip out

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I took care of these cats and when she came back she gave me a journal as a gift saying "I know that you like to write." I had never told her or written in front of her. I did in front of her husband but I thought it was considerate. The next time she went on a trip was longer and they had moved so more distance and work for me (actually very tedious). Her Ej personality shone through. Same sheet of paper, same instructions, very consistent and linear in how she liked things to be done.
    I would like to think I would do the same thing, If I were to give you instructions it would be very detailed and similar to last time, if you did a good job last time would I change it ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    She had a housekeeper both places she lived. Cleaning just wasn't her interest, though the apartment were not big.

    She also picked her clothing she said "a classical style, something that I can wear for many seasons. The dresses were nothing special. They were not very fitting and they were in green tones. Her outfits were not name brands but fit the occasion.
    I would love a house keeper ! That would make life so much easier. Doing simple tasks around the house is OK, but to do a thorough detailed clean isn't for me, I can't deal with that kind of upkeep.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Once she made me salmon dinner crusted and risotto which she stood by the oven making slowly, carefully but didn't say much or talked. At the table I asked her if she picked out the curtains. She said "I wouldn't get THOSE" I didn't see anything wrong with them. They were red stripped and look Mediterranean style. She has certain tastes and what she gets must be or are from certain places.

    She and I had very little to talk about.
    Nope, not me, I would definitely make an effort to make it comfortable for both of us, standing in science cooking just isn't for me, that is way to awkward. I'll strike some sort of conversation. The overall impression from this EIE is very different from the descriptions I read on wikisocion , what's happened to her Fe expressiveness ?
    To call yourself 'plus size' is simply a euphemism for being fat, and who wants to be fat ? ~ Katie Hopkins

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    @Maritsa how's does your two friends mobilising and suggestive function play out in their behaviour ? Does your EIE friend tend to show off, does your IEE friend act like a know it all ?
    To call yourself 'plus size' is simply a euphemism for being fat, and who wants to be fat ? ~ Katie Hopkins

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danali View Post
    I wish I could have such a nice effortless walk, I really try, especially in public, but i know that isn't me most of the time, I tend to have a clumsy walk and walk in a zig-saggy pattern, my mum always comments on how my walk is so loud and all over the place, she always encourages me to walk slowly and properly ...whatever that means.



    The extent to which I let my emotions out depend on the vibe I get from the person, I tend to be nice to everyone, but if I get a serious vibe then I'll be serious , but if I can tell someone is really relaxed and fun then i'all be like that, but I'm very sarcastic so regardless of who I, with it may slip out



    I would like to think I would do the same thing, If I were to give you instructions it would be very detailed and similar to last time, if you did a good job last time would I change it ?



    I would love a house keeper ! That would make life so much easier. Doing simple tasks around the house is OK, but to do a thorough detailed clean isn't for me, I can't deal with that kind of upkeep.



    Nope, not me, I would definitely make an effort to make it comfortable for both of us, standing in science cooking just isn't for me, that is way to awkward. I'll strike some sort of conversation. The overall impression from this EIE is very different from the descriptions I read on wikisocion , what's happened to her Fe expressiveness ?
    She was probably unhappily married and her Fe came out on him in her interaction with him. And, control around me so that she could provide a pleasant atmosphere for me. She was considerate that way

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    She was probably unhappily married and her Fe came out on him in her interaction with him. And, control around me so that she could provide a pleasant atmosphere for me. She was considerate that way
    Oh, yeah, I didn't even think of that, now I see how she was preserving harmony, that's a weird way of going about it.
    To call yourself 'plus size' is simply a euphemism for being fat, and who wants to be fat ? ~ Katie Hopkins

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