Do you ever go out alone?
Or does the idea scare you.
If you do, how is your experience?
I've been doing it a ton this past year since moving for my job. At first it was scary uncomfortable but now I'm beginning to enjoy the adrenaline rush of not knowing who I will meet/what's going to happen lol
Curious to hear your thoughts.
Why would it be scary? I'm curious as to where you are going, what kinds of dark places are you venturing that create this adrenaline rush?
I take my lunch alone almost every working day, unless someone invites me to join and I am interested in spending time with this person/group.
I often decline propositions because I have to breath and have a rest from noise (I work in a sort of crossing point and have no door which is really stressing).
I really don't mind going to a restaurant alone for my lunch, my colleagues are often surprised to hear it.
But I wouldn't go out alone in the evening, I would feel awkward. Besides, there is so many things I could do at home, besides doing nothing (a great thing tbh).
In anyway I don't fear solitude. You will say I would act differently if I moved somewhere else, isolation would weigh on me.
I did spend a year abroad alone, still I did not go out just for the sake of going out or because I was bored.
I like doing stuff alone like eating, shopping, etc., where it's chill and I'm not expected to engage with other people. But if it's anything where I'm expected to socialize or I want to do something that will draw attention to myself (ie dancing) I always want to be with people I know.
I've actually been isolated in my room for the past 20 years and the thought of going to the grocery store to buy milk scares me. lolOriginally Posted by squark
Nah it's more like going into a biker bar with a bunch of motorcycle dudes wearing leather jackets. You walk in with a plain white t-shirt and sneakers while you catch everyone glancing at you.
Or you walk to a high energy club with loud music. You see pretty girls in tight mini-skirts running around, people in their little cliques celebrating their birthday/bachelorette part, while you, stand there, alone, not knowing anyone.
Yes. Escapism stuff like taking a long walk down quiet and scenic routes, I don't like eating out by myself though. I can, just don't like it. I like painting by myself and not in class maybe that's why don't take art classes.
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Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Oh, yeah. Really far out, man.(I go out to the wilderness.)
...though technically I'm not alone and I can never be alone, but I am by all appearances.
I seem to get panic attacks if I go to vast but somewhat closed off spaces like shopping malls, or if I am walking near or busy, congested roads. Exploring "where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive" feels like a rather open-ended prospect that is against my natural inclination, and is something I would prefer to do with those I know.
I can go alone, but I'm a lot more comfortable with others. When I go alone, I get kind of anxious and feel like I lose all direction. I think if I went to a club alone I'd have a panic attack, but if I went with someone else I'd have a good time.
･ﾟ*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:･ﾟ
I don't generally go to noisy and crowded places because it's irritating. Even shopping in a crowded store can make me angry. Too many people and it's really restrictive, can't move around how I want, really stifling and feels like being penned up or tied, hate it, need my freedom. If I've been in quiet long enough that my tolerance for loud and crowded places is higher, I might want to go someplace with a lot going on. And whether I'm alone or not doesn't matter. I'm more likely to feel lonely or slightly sad than nervous.
There is such a thing as too much quiet and sometimes I like to change things up a bit. In general though, silence is my friend, and I will do what Maritsa and Aylen mentioned - long walks alone, just driving in my car thinking etc. Walking through a crowded area you'll hear a very audible sigh of relief from me when I've finally escaped the crowd. Eating alone or going to a movie alone might make me wish for company to share with, but it doesn't bother me otherwise.
I go lots of places alone, but maybe I am misunderstanding what you mean. Eating alone, shopping alone, pretty much going anywhere alone doesn't bother me at all unless it is like a bar or something because that is really awkward for me. I find it strange when people can't do these things without someone.
Going out alone is only awkward if you go to a place specifically designed to be social and don't engage/socialize with people. There are a lot of places too that are actually fine to go to alone but some people (particularly young people) may try to turn it into a social venue, so I'd just ignore them.
This is always easier to do when you don't know anyone in an area and are not yet established. You don't yet have anything to lose.
[Today 07:57 AM] Raver: Life is a ride that lasts very long, but still a ride. It is a dream that we have yet to awaken from.
It's hard to find a love through every shade of grey.
I have no problem shopping, eating, exercising, going to a museum, traveling (if I can) alone.
However I *do* get bored or scared from over-solitude. I have gone out alone (as in, to a party) and it's surprisingly easy if there are interesting people, then I disappear again.
I more frequently go out alone then I go out with friends. It is a welcomed surprise when I go out with other people, including daily shopping. I pretty much do everything alone including going out at night. It doesn't scare me, though, because I can blend in easily.
I can't take the time to answer this Peter but I want you to see a pic of my cat:
Samsung Intensity 2 Pictures 088.jpg
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
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I have no problem doing whatever alone. I wouldn't go to clubs or bars alone even if I did still go, but other than that, sure.
I actually love traveling alone, and have had great fun exploring other countries on my own even. If I had known my husband then, I would have loved for him to be there (I used to crave a soul mate to travel w me, but I had fun alone all the same), but if I had a choice to go w a group that didn't include him (so we could sneak off together) or go by myself, I would be likely choose to go by myself, at least at this moment in my life.
And these days I take advantage of whatever alone time I can get -- I actually just started going to the gym bc they offer child care, so I can drop the baby off for an hour, pop in my earbuds for an hour, and spend that time working out BY MYSELF, which I find glorious, lol.
Last edited by SongOfSapphire; 05-19-2016 at 03:56 PM.
"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra
I do get nervous going to social events where i dont know anyone. But since I live in a new place and hardly know anyone, and i feel lonely, I have to do it, otherwise i'll just have to dwell in reclusiveness. It does take a lot of self-cheerleading in order for me to actually show up though.
Just going places on my own though, is totally not a problem. I wouldn't go to certain places by myself though, like a bar or nightclub or something like that. Not just because of the social phobia, but because of the implication of looking to get laid.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
All the time!
But I like to have a balance. Sometimes it can feel a bit lonely when you're constantly going out alone. It's nice to go out with a friend or two every once in a while.
I don't feel comfortable out there ;w; I'm usually always with a friend or my older brother. If I lived somewhere else I might put myself out there, once exposed to a toxic environment where people know who you are... I'd just rather go out alone when I truly am alone.
I'm a lot like Starfall I think. I feel most comfortable alone....when I'm with other people it always feels awkward/tense even if I don't dislike them. wahhh why do I have to be such a shy introverted loser who is afraid of ppl. It's like I'm always keenly aware of ppl's sadistic/narcissistic sides hehe.
Yes. I don't mind going out alone at all, in fact I see it as an advantage 'cos it gives me the freedom I need to make the most of the experience - be it going out alone to bars, concerts or other social events or even travelling alone. I don't need a companion to do it with. In fact, having a companion around feels like being a dog on a leash.
"The spirit of resistance to government
is so valuable on certain occasions,
that I wish it to be always kept alive.
It will often be exercised when wrong
but better so than not to be exercised at all.
I like a little rebellion now and then.
It is like a storm in the atmosphere."
Thomas Jefferson
I do, sometimes. The more I can plan my going out in advance, the better time I end up having, usually, even if I don't really stick to the plan. And I am not bothered by uncertainty at all, but by the possibility of wasting time when I could have done something more productive or valuable.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
i do on most fridays, some saturdays. if you have a phobia you should probably just drink (more) before going. that's what always worked for me. it can get you into trouble if you don't pace yourself but in the end its worth it and you learn to loose your inhibitions without the alcohol.
Awful possibility in these matters is both men sustaining mortal injury... but I'm never that lucky.
LSI
I like to go driving and walking by myself, every now and then. It's nice to find a secluded spot to read or eat lunch.
Going out with friends is more exciting though.
[...]
i enjoy walking around by myself, so long as it's in alleys or late at night when nobody is around to make me feel observed. I don't like going to bars or clubs or anyplace too busy at all really, alone or with friends. especially if they're going to be talking to me over music (that goes for jsut hanging out in general, whether inside or out in the world), it makes me mentally check out. I had a friend who used to complain about it when there was no music playing because she could hear herself think, I feel like i have the opposite, if music is playing (besides when i'm intentionally listening to music by myself) I go nutty because I start to feel like i can't hear myself think.
ehh, i guess i do feel alright, like somewhat protected in my focus, when i go somewhere with a friend, but generally i'd much rather just be shut inside somewhere with them where it's safe or alone by myself (but then that starts to make me feel buggy if i take it too far, like weeks without seeing friends irl.)
ugh life.
Last edited by bg; 05-25-2016 at 04:45 AM.
I don't listen to music very often, even alone for this same reason. It interferes with my thoughts. Sometimes I'll go on a music binge for a day or two or a week, or sometimes I hear something and so appreciate it that I'll have to find it and listen to it again. But normally I don't listen to anything at all. I can go months, possibly even years (though I've never stretched it that far) without purposely listening to any music at all. I like music, lots of different kinds and like being introduced to new things, but it seems like I can only take it in small doses. Even something I really like can become irritating to me in the wrong circumstances.
i love being alone and spend most of my time alone when i can. i also go to movie theaters alone. i rarely go to restaurants where you are waited on alone. i don't really like being waited on because someone is always coming back to the table to ask more questions. i do most everything alone. a long time ago i would feel lonely sometimes but i've become something humans shouldn't be by now? i find being around people very demanding and overwhelming usually.
the few times i've went to bars alone (usually because there is something happening in a particular bar) it's been an unpleasant experience (i attract creepy old men who say crude things, but maybe i won't anymore?) or i've felt raw and exposed. i would like to not be that way maybe.
I go a lot of places alone, I also live alone. It doesn't bother me at all.
I happily go get coffee alone, prefer to go shopping alone, and I've gotten lunch alone too before, all of which are pretty normal unless you go to a nice sit-down restaurant alone. But I just go get a sandwich or something & I see people alone all the time. On the other hand, I hate living alone and I would never go to the movies etc alone. Soo A happy medium is nice
For cases when someone is about to start a random convo with you, there's the invention of the smart phone since it's something to quickly stare at, as they have probably already worn everyone else out with their inability to STFU. Just sayin'
"The spirit of resistance to government
is so valuable on certain occasions,
that I wish it to be always kept alive.
It will often be exercised when wrong
but better so than not to be exercised at all.
I like a little rebellion now and then.
It is like a storm in the atmosphere."
Thomas Jefferson
That is why it is important to establish yourself in a way that lets you have the freedom.
I drink alone often.
1. It's normal, actually.
2. You can sometimes meet really interesting people.
CETERUM AUTEM CENSEO WASHINGTON D.C. ESSE DELENDAM
Alone is my default mode. I'm a triple threat: Fe PoLR, unhealthy social instinct last, enneagram 5w4. You'd have to ask me about the times that I go out with others instead
I compiled a short list of how that plays out for all sorts of locations:
nature - 100% alone.
public transport - 100% alone.
library - 100% alone. One of my favourite solitary activities.
university activities - 95% alone. I may affiliate with single individuals.
shopping - 90% alone. My SEI brother is the only person I take with me (Shopping with Si egos is fun).
taking a stroll - 60 % alone. My family might drag me out.
getting food - 50% alone. Restaurants are not my style, take-out and staying at a café is.
traveling- 50% alone. It really depends. Yet still, I like to travel on my own.
museum - 40% alone. A discussion partner is always good.
folk festivals - 30% alone.
cinema, theatre, opera - 0% alone, I like to have company.
going for a swim - 0% alone.
gym - No data available. My personal gym is at home~
clubs - No data available. Love to dance but I avoid them like the plague. Invite me, you get rejected and a rundown of why I dislike/fear clubs.
house parties - Same as above.
festivals - Same.
bars - No data available either. I don't drink (I know, there's alcohol-free stuff, too) nor do I like the general atmosphere there.
Those preferences are rather detrimental for my dual-seeking, but my life constantly changes so that's ok for now.
The advantage: I get stuff done on my own, I don't have to deal with other people's collective issues, free reign. And: If I ever have to go to prison (omg solitary confinement) or a monastery (have you ever read what routines they have there... apparently stricter than jail), I'd enjoy it more than a vacationOn a more serious note, I'm very content being introverted. The only problem is that my primary instinct (SX) is rather incompatible with my current lifestyle, that's why I like being online.
I take walks sometimes and go buy stuff alone, I dislike being with other people when I shop for clothes or whatever, they just stress me out. When it comes to doing activities like going to eat, watch a movie, going to bars - pretty much never. Why would you go to the cinema alone when you could just download the movie in a couple of months and watch it alone, with no strangers. And no it is not fun to party alone, lol, if I'm going to drink alone it would be because I'm sad as fuck and the last thing I'd want to do is go to a bar. I guess I could eat alone if I had to. Just at a cheaper place. The thing I dislike the most about going out alone is the possibility of seeing an acquaintance and having to strike up an awkward conversation. Ugh. Love it when I'm in a bigger city where I can hide and no one knows who I am. I feel free.
Or stomp in your face, and try to make you flinch.
you also see people standing on the corners, in the periphery clutching drinks tight in their hands, as if it's their life-line.Or you walk to a high energy club with loud music. You see pretty girls in tight mini-skirts running around, people in their little cliques celebrating their birthday/bachelorette part, while you, stand there, alone, not knowing anyone.
Just roll with whatever comes. It's good to stand alone. Embrace it.
Drunk people can be real dicks. You have to learn to get better at rejecting people.
I kind of like being alone sometimes. Familarity breeds contempt.
Sometimes I find it easier than other times to ingraniate myself in random groups of strangers. Bars are one of the harder settings, some guys get aggressive in mixed groups. But I've found that meeting new strangers on my own is easier on my own than with people I know generally. I had a friend that seemed to know that, and who would wait for me to get interactions started than join in.. For some reason it was easier for him to join in than initiate. That said some people like to constantly try to show "social value" through knowing people, which generally just looks tacky and isn't so much fun as to start from stranger danger.
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