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Thread: INFp Description by I/O

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    Default INFp Description by I/O

    INFps quickly detect and understand connections and relations amongst people as well as people's interactions with their environments. However, they normally do not share any of their insights with others; instead, they'll adjust their behaviour to conform with the beliefs, habits and tastes of those around them suppressing their own true natures and opinions. This enables them to easily appeal to the emotions of everyone in the room, which makes them appear inoffensive, likeable and trustworthy; they can be superb diplomats and survivalists. They can distinguish falsehood, hypocrisy, ruse and debasement, but also can discerningly produce the same for their own purposes.

    Their knack for making people feel at ease and boosting their spirits does not apply to themselves. The act of hiding their true selves can make them conflicted, agitated and or moody but they will rarely show discontent or ever try to resolve their internal struggles. Paradoxically, they will sometimes go to great lengths to resolve external conflicts. They seem to be afraid that hostility or discord among co-workers, family and friends will lead to disaster for themselves so they try to ensure smooth relations among all who are deemed important to them. Because they're usually charming and adept at persuasion, they can usually facilitate harmony within groups.

    INFps are usually very critical of their own abilities, and may often devalue their own worth even while spouting bravado and confidence. Personal image is so very important to them; they're usually afraid of being unneeded or thought of as incompetent so they regularly seek compliments and encouragement. They're so much more adventurous, energetic and productive when they feel that they have the approval of others. Their mood is further improved when surrounded by a positive atmosphere. In a comfortable environment around familiar people, they seem to become bold and confident, and perhaps even a little opinionated and bossy. They really shine and perform best when surrounded by good interpersonal relations.

    Even with the self-doubt, INFps are generally optimistic and believe in positive outcomes. Their visions of a future are usually much more idealistic and positive than could possibly ever exist. Therefore, they're not inclined to save for rainy days or keep strict track of finances, and they may also waste resources on things that make them feel better in the moment. As well, they often act as if they've time to spare so they'll put off much until it's too late. If they fall into difficulties, they seem to have faith that they'll find a way - or a saviour.

    INFps see humour in life, like jokes and anecdotes, are playful and impish, and love evoking positive emotions. They will try to run away from conflict and when they can't, they'll seek immediate reconciliation and will often settle for compromises that are not favourable to them. They will avoid personalities that force them to reflect on their own shortcomings or failures; they do not like rehashing mistakes of the past. They get along best with people who are self-confident, strong, determined and who take the focus away from them; however, they will not allow themselves to be ruled. They can suddenly become obstinate, self-righteous and assertive when they sense threats to themselves or their loved ones. For those they love or admire, they'll do a lot - sometimes too much. If threats persist, they'll become provocative, rude and aggressive.

    They look upon long-term relationships rather pragmatically. They know that they need clarity because without it, they become lost and confused. Chaos, disorganization and lack of support plunge them into despair so they will choose people who can provide a logical map of the future and help them with achieving objectives. With clarity, they find that decision making isn't as daunting. Without structure, they become too complacent to the point of carelessness; they're too disorganized and easily distracted. Although they need people of strength, they really dislike strict control Ė they detest control-freaks and disciplinarians. With such individuals, they become cool, unemotional and sometimes venomous. Although they will try to manipulate to get what they want, INFps live by the principle of non-interference and cannot tolerate harassment of anyone by another.

    They prefer a casual look but will expend a huge effort on their physical appearance and on being appealing to others. They're very perceptive of style and taste, and they know how to be pleasing to the eye. However, their rather idealistic standards and values can be their downfall; their fanciful pursuit of unrealistic goals can be self-destructive. They often feel very burdened about not achieving their lofty goals. They will then sometimes complain about their health, poor care or the indifference of others as perhaps an excuse for own disorder or lack of achievement; however, they usually don't despair for long.

    The INFp chameleon-like persona allows them to adapt to most social situations even when they don't feel truly comfortable. But because they can almost tell what the other person is thinking, they can usually head off most potential awkwardness. Most see their peaceful, laissez-faire attitudes as friendly and nonthreatening, but many others see them as noncontributing; they don't seem to offer many opinions outside of a very narrow range of interests. They are extremely observant of minute nuances in body language, intonation and rationalization but they say little about their real beliefs. Their curse is that they leave too much unsaid; their own reticence makes them greatly misunderstood and underestimated. And, their seeming avoidance of those that don't exhibit buoyant positivity toward them can also limit their horizons.

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    They don't react like Ij temperament that's for sure. They can control and maneuver their emotional behavior better than I can

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    Maritsa,

    You're implying that sages don't schmooze.......


    a.k.a. I/O

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    I relate to everything except:

    " In a comfortable environment around familiar people, they seem to become bold and confident, and perhaps even a little opinionated and bossy. They really shine and perform best when surrounded by good interpersonal relations. "

    and

    "They get along best with people who are self-confident, strong, determined and who take the focus away from them; however, they will not allow themselves to be ruled. They can suddenly become obstinate, self-righteous and assertive when they sense threats to themselves or their loved ones. For those they love or admire, they'll do a lot - sometimes too much. If threats persist, they'll become provocative, rude and aggressive."

    and a sprinkle of

    "
    they may also waste resources on things that make them feel better in the moment. "

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    I relate to everything except:......
    Chryssie,

    If you are truly ISFp, you share much with INFp but differ in that you should be:

    - more focused on specific physical detail rather than relationship
    - more inclined to share observations with others
    - unable to be a true chameleon - more intransigent
    - more compatible with a philosopher than a knight
    - more practical and realistic
    - less optimistic and trusting, and more cautious
    - less able to predict consequence

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Chryssie,

    If you are truly ISFp, you share much with INFp but differ in that you should be:

    - more focused on specific physical detail rather than relationship
    - more inclined to share observations with others
    - unable to be a true chameleon - more intransigent
    - more compatible with a philosopher than a knight
    - more practical and realistic
    - less optimistic and trusting, and more cautious
    - less able to predict consequence

    a.k.a. I/O
    Regarding the chameleon statement
    ... I'm actually quite good at appearing as if I'm on someone's side, even though I may be in disagreement with the morality/legitimacy of their reaction to a situation or their stance on an argument... I don't even plainly disagree in my own head as I could see how they could have gotten to their conclusion. The only time I've gone on a rant about something being morally wrong was when the topic was censorship of the internet, and anything that aims to limit free speech for the purpose of "minimizing lies and offensive remarks." Where I can annoy people and sorta create and a bit of discomfort (unintentional) is my almost instinctive need to point out flaws in people's plans and jokes and... well anywhere I can find them I mostly do it out of humour or harmless ridicule rather than to be constructive and harsh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    Regarding the chameleon statement
    ... I'm actually quite good at appearing as if I'm on someone's side,.........
    Chryssie,

    I think there may be a subtle difference between you pretending to support someone and INFps who can take on roles like professional actors and actually adopt entire personas. For example, not only can they play a bigot, they can become one for the required time. I'm not suggesting that ISFps can't make excellent actors but there seems to be an innate, automatic ability in INFps that is chameleon. It would be interesting to hear from some as to whether or not my perception has any substance.......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Chryssie,

    I think there may be a subtle difference between you pretending to support someone and INFps who can take on roles like professional actors and actually adopt entire personas. For example, not only can they play a bigot, they can become one for the required time. I'm not suggesting that ISFps can't make excellent actors but there seems to be an innate, automatic ability in INFps that is chameleon. It would be interesting to hear from some as to whether or not my perception has any substance.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    @Aylen
    @Persephone
    @Starfall @summerprincess @BulletsAndDoves
    Who else are our INFp?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    I relate to everything except:
    ...
    Which one you prefer
    1) Ingenuity with bit of eccentricity
    2) a person who can lead comfortably with decisiveness.
    It may seem bit murky since one can capture great deal of attention just by verbalising visions. Actual manifestation: I have tendency to slip out of my mouth half baked grand scale stuff on a daily basis with very little realism which may to lead to serious jaw dropping.
    Enneagram 3 blindspot. Visual deficits in 4, 8. Triple instinctual blindspot.

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    because enneagram is just too simple and therefore we need to develop a new classification system called Rhombic triacontahedron with life module containing eukaryotes, prokaryotes and virus.

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    "they do not like rehashing mistakes of the past"

    I think this part ^ is inherently backwards
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by unsuccessfull Alphamale View Post
    Which one you prefer
    1) Ingenuity with bit of eccentricity
    2) a person who can lead comfortably with decisiveness.
    It may seem bit murky since one can capture great deal of attention just by verbalising visions. Actual manifestation: I have tendency to slip out of my mouth half baked grand scale stuff on a daily basis with very little realism which may to lead to serious jaw dropping.
    I think I prefer the former a bit more than the latter definitely... need to be easygoing yet a bit quirky and able to distract me from real life matters.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    "they do not like rehashing mistakes of the past"

    I think this part ^ is inherently backwards
    I thought that part was fine since I certainly don't like it but sometimes I will repeat a mistake until I am really sure I don't like it. I have had to hit my rock bottom to say fuck this, let go of everything, and start over. I don't like to let things go that far though. Starting over sucks, at first, but in hindsight it is for the best. I don't have to do contortions to see it all worked out for the best.

    Internal conflict can be a bitch and the best I can do is ignore my feelings and swallow my pride (not easy) and do what I see is going to be most beneficial for me. I do consider if it is also beneficial for others too. Ideally everyone feels they win. I get what I want and no one feels they lost because of my choices, ideally. In reality someone feels the loss or pain of the unresolved conflict and it is usually me but I will keep it to myself. Heh, I am thinking of my teens and early 20s as I write this.

    I will take measures to resolve conflicts or misunderstanding with people close to me, (or people I really like) asap, maybe after pouting/wallowing a bit or having a a blow up, even apologizing when I have nothing to apologize for, unless I feel it is pointless or they don't care either way. I know that I actually need certain people to survive so I can't let a conflict go too far. It takes a lot for me to finally cut ties and it is after considering whether or not this person is vital to my life. I used to consider myself quite independent but in reality I have always relied on someone to help me navigate the world. I do need people, some more than others.

    I have had to do this with my mom since childhood. She is rarely the one to reach out and make peace. She will just cut you off. I would go to my stepdad when I had to because he was more reasonable. I had to learn to suck up to her properly to be "forgiven" at a very young age. That doesn't mean I won't fight but after the fighting I feel bad about it when I am stonewalled. She taught me everything I needed to know about stonewalling. I don't like being the first one to give in but sometimes you just gotta suck it up or things stagnate. I do what I can to keep things moving forward in a positive direction. I feel the most discomfort when I am in conflict with friends and family.

    I don't usually want to put energy into something with little chance of changing anything for the better so I will withdraw in those situations. I do give myself a proper amount of time to resolve and if I can't, I move on. I might think about it now and then but I won't rehash with them if I feel they do not want to resolve. Eventually it fades from memory, taking the feelings with it, so when I think about it is sort of surreal and I am just observing from a distance. It no longer carries an emotional charge unless I fall into a melancholic state. I enjoy those sometimes but I can also pull myself out of them when I feel I have indulged in a sufficient amount of self pity.

    I can relate to the whole op very well, almost word for word. It is a good description.


    INFps see humour in life, like jokes and anecdotes, are playful and impish, and love evoking positive emotions. They will try to run away from conflict and when they can't, they'll seek immediate reconciliation and will often settle for compromises that are not favourable to them. They will avoid personalities that force them to reflect on their own shortcomings or failures; they do not like rehashing mistakes of the past. They get along best with people who are self-confident, strong, determined and who take the focus away from them; however, they will not allow themselves to be ruled. They can suddenly become obstinate, self-righteous and assertive when they sense threats to themselves or their loved ones. For those they love or admire, they'll do a lot - sometimes too much. If threats persist, they'll become provocative, rude and aggressive.
    I like that part too much.
    Last edited by Aylen; 05-11-2016 at 09:25 PM.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    "they do not like rehashing mistakes of the past"

    I think this part ^ is inherently backwards
    @Pookie,

    They can and do rehash the past so long as it does not impinge on their own self-image. It's their own mistakes that they seem to avoid talking about. They don't seem to have problems castigating someone else over and over again - those that have wronged them or someone else. I imply that they do not like to vocalize their own personal shortcomings to others because they seem to think that it lessens them in the eyes of others in some way. They may think it when in self-doubt but it's usually left unsaid. Opinion?

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    @Pookie,

    They can and do rehash the past so long as it does not impinge on their own self-image. It's their own mistakes that they seem to avoid talking about. They don't seem to have problems castigating someone else over and over again - those that have wronged them or someone else. I imply that they do not like to vocalize their own personal shortcomings to others because they seem to think that it lessens them in the eyes of others in some way. They may think it when in self-doubt but it's usually left unsaid. Opinion?

    a.k.a. I/O
    I agree with this. It is why some people have called me arrogant and uncompromising (which kind of hurt my feelings). I only go after someone if they cross my boundaries beyond the point of no return or hurt someone I care about though. I do not like anyone to point out my mistakes even when I know they are mistakes. Part of the reason I stayed in relationships past their expiration date. I do not like to be told, "I knew they were wrong for you" or something similar. Maybe because it points to me making bad judgment calls.

    That is why I don't like to talk about my relationships with other people. I just don't want to know someone's else's negative opinion on my choices because I probably already know it. I tend to keep most of mistakes to myself, irl, and look happy when I feel like I am dying inside. These things point to weakness and my LSI mom did not tolerate weakness well. Neither did the people I chose to align myself with over the years. I can see how it is an image thing. I do not want to appear "lower" than others. It can turn me into a devil's advocate if someone does it to someone I like and I will argue for them even when I know they are probably in the wrong too. I hate taking sides in disagreements when it comes to people I care about. If I only care about one of the people in the argument I will fight for their side.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I agree with this. It is why some people have called me arrogant and uncompromising (which kind of hurt my feelings). I only go after someone if they cross my boundaries beyond the point of no return or hurt someone I care about though. I do not like anyone to point out my mistakes even when I know they are mistakes. Part of the reason I stayed in relationships past their expiration date. I do not like to be told, "I knew they were wrong for you" or something similar. Maybe because it points to me making bad judgment calls.

    That is why I don't like to talk about my relationships with other people. I just don't want to know someone's else's negative opinion on my choices because I probably already know it. I tend to keep most of mistakes to myself, irl, and look happy when I feel like I am dying inside. These things point to weakness and my LSI mom did not tolerate weakness well. Neither did the people I chose to align myself with over the years. I can see how it is an image thing. I do not want to appear "lower" than others. It can turn me into a devil's advocate if someone does it to someone I like and I will argue for them even when I know they are probably in the wrong too. I hate taking sides in disagreements when it comes to people I care about. If I only care about one of the people in the argument I will fight for their side.
    I like what you said that you don't want to appear lower than anyone else. That's another big difference between us. To me that hierarchy doesn't exist. When I or anyone expresses things they are expressing a part of what makes them unique and an individual. I too consider myself among human beings when I express my own failed relationships and sad feelings.

    We're all a part of a brotherhood of man

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    @Pookie,

    They can and do rehash the past so long as it does not impinge on their own self-image. It's their own mistakes that they seem to avoid talking about. They don't seem to have problems castigating someone else over and over again - those that have wronged them or someone else. I imply that they do not like to vocalize their own personal shortcomings to others because they seem to think that it lessens them in the eyes of others in some way. They may think it when in self-doubt but it's usually left unsaid. Opinion?

    a.k.a. I/O
    I think you're putting a lack of self-accountability(avoiding confronting ones short-falls, if I don't talk about it its not there) and a prevalence of narcissism(Self-image flexible, but important & weight put on the others opinions to the extent it effects how they feel about them self = Narcissism) on IEI, when in reality its a prevalent amongst society as a whole. In young people especially. In my experience, IEI's are not more like this than other types. In fact I think the metabolic tools they have to use forces a measure of reflection that's not common in other types. Reflection on average, is likely to impede the growth of those traits more so than catalyze them. But we're also as tough baby peas, and so flight > fight. I'd think its about even with the rest of the population. I think the responsibility avoidance is there, but not through a lack of rehashing. Moreso cognitive dissonance, or sheer Unconscious 1D Se allowing them to be still when another type would already be breaking under the existential weight(Which I think might be why 4DSe types can lie to themselves so well, or be completely lack any cognizance of the motivation behind their own actions).

    In shorter more concise terms, I think your missing the moon for the finger. They do not vocalize their own shortcomings, but that's because they do not vocalize much in general, and people as a whole do not usually do this either. I do think we go over what has happened in the past, and retain what has happened in the past, more so than almost every other type. An IEI being a shitty person happens in spite of that, not due to the lack of it.

    I mean, what your saying isn't really wrong, but the way they link together is obviously anecdotal, and I think your perception on the inner workings of the IEI isn't keen, even if the external trappings your identifying as evidence are valid.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    I hate to admit it, but I resonate a LOT with this description. Maybe forer effect? idk...
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I like what you said that you don't want to appear lower than anyone else. That's another big difference between us. To me that hierarchy doesn't exist. When I or anyone expresses things they are expressing a part of what makes them unique and an individual. I too consider myself among human beings when I express my own failed relationships and sad feelings.

    We're all a part of a brotherhood of man
    I get the "brotherhood of man" thing. I think that every time I see someone in a bad place and want to lift their spirits in any way I can. I have seen and identified with the dregs of society. I have more empathy for them than the common man, sometimes.

    My problem is that most of the people around me now are self absorbed which leads me to be more self absorbed. I cut a whole group of friends out of my life a few years ago and made no effort to add many new friends since. Most of the people I interact with, irl, are through my brother and even though I call them "friends" hang out with them (now and then) and have warm feelings toward them , they are not people you pour your feelings out to. I feel quite alone but not lonely. I have withdrawn into my mind for the most part and shut out the world. This is a cycle I repeat over and over. I eventually emerge from the darkness. Had tons of therapy, reflected, dissected and considered all the ways I fucked up and what I can do differently now. I feel strong enough now that I do not have to talk about all the issues that fucked up my life. I did that in therapy, which was forced on me, but was so good for me to just talk without external cues of judgment (except with a couple of them).

    My very best female friends no longer live close to me or are dead by freak circumstances. :/ I have had to deal with things on my own so it does not feel easy to talk to anyone about being sad and I am not completely comfortable doing it. I gave it a try not long ago with someone I thought was a good friend but they turned on me in such a way that I am more guarded. They were not my quadra, go figure. lol I was naive. Since then I probably only talk to one or two female friends about problems but I am more comfortable listening to theirs than sharing mine. Not even they know how heavy some of the issues are that I struggle with. :/ I often feel like I am going to be misunderstood or judged though which probably has more to do with being an enneagram 4 than IEI

    I do not look down on people. I just don't want anyone looking down on or pitying me. I know I have been complicit in creating my own problems so now I have to find a way to understand myself, accept and keep moving forward. I would rather express my moods through songs and art than actually talk about them but when I do that it goes over most people's heads. Not everyone's though. Other IEI and sometimes an IEE are really good at "seeing" what I am saying without words and they will send me a hug, quote, article or something.

    I appreciate when there is understanding without words. Most people only see the exterior image you put out and do not go any deeper. Others feel your pain but they also know you do not wish to be pitied so they will let you know they understand without making you feel bad about yourself. That is more my style when dealing with someone else and their problems. Just finding ways to let them know I understand without making them feel worse about themselves. I do not like to be lectured about my bad choices. They already bother me enough. I just want understanding without pity. Does that make sense?

    I also know most people are not mind readers, like me , and they are not going to "just know" when I am in a bad place. If I want them to know I have to tell them and that is hard for me to do with people in general. I want to say to the world "just feel me" and "don't make me say it please". hah

    Edit: I do welcome empathy. I don't want pity because it often comes off as if they are looking down on me but aren't saying it. It is really semantics I suppose. I don't like the word "pity" at all. Commiseration is better. It keeps us on the same level though and eventually someone has to make a move to break that vicious cycle.
    Last edited by Aylen; 05-11-2016 at 08:19 PM. Reason: word order

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I get the "brotherhood of man" thing. I think that every time I see someone in a bad place and want to lift their spirits in any way I can. I have seen and identified with the dregs of society. I have more empathy for them than the common man, sometimes.

    My problem is that most of the people around me now are self absorbed which leads me to be more self absorbed. I cut a whole group of friends out of my life a few years ago and made no effort to add many new friends since. Most of the people I interact with, irl, are through my brother and even though I call them "friends" hang out with them (now andthen) and have warm feelings toward them , they are not people you pour your feelings out to. I feel quite alone but not lonely. I have withdrawn into my mind for the most part and shut out the world. This is a cycle I repeat over and over. I eventually emerge from the darkness. Had tons of therapy, reflected, dissected and considered all the ways I fucked up and what I can do differently now. I feel strong enough now that I do not have to talk about all the issues that fucked up my life. I did that in therapy, which was forced on me, but was so good for me to just talk without cues of external judgment (except with a couple of them).

    My very best female friends no longer live close to me or are dead by freak circumstances. :/ I have had to deal with things on my own so it does not feel easy to talk to anyone about being sad and I am not completely comfortable doing it. I gave it a try not long ago with someone I thought was a good friend but they turned on me in such a way that I am more guarded. They were not my quadra, go figure. lol I was naive. Since then I probably only talk to one or two female friends about problems but I am more comfortable listening to theirs than sharing mine. Not even they know how heavy some of the issues are that I struggle with. :/ I often feel like I am going to be misunderstood or judged though which probably has more to do with being an enneagram 4 than IEI

    I do not look down on people. I just don't want anyone looking down on or pitying me. I know I have been complicit in creating my own problems so now I have to find a way to understand myself, accept and keep moving forward. I would rather express my moods through songs and art than actually talk about them but when I do that it goes over most people's heads. Not everyone's though. Other IEI and sometimes an IEE are really good at "seeing" what I am saying without words and they will send me a hug, quote, article or something.

    I appreciate when there is understanding without words. Most people only see the exterior image you put out and do not go any deeper. Others feel your pain but they also know you do not wish to be pitied so they will let you know they understand without making you feel bad about yourself. That is more my style when dealing with someone else and their problems. Just finding ways to let them know I understand without making them feel worse about themselves. I do not like to be lectured about my bad choices. They already bother me enough. I just want understanding without pity. Does that make sense?

    I also know most people are not mind readers, like me , and they are not going to "just know" when I am in a bad place. If I want them to know I have to tell them and that is hard for me to do with people in general. I want to say to the world "just feel me" and "don't make me say it please". hah
    It's very hard for me to understand how (the process of) all the manifestation of feelings intertwine and gets jumbled in Fe types like you and my sister (ESE). I just want to find the string in both of your minds and unravel it so that both of you achieve inner harmony and peace. They way that both of you speak about how your experiences affect you is so similar. To me so sad and almost hopeless because it's not just one thing. It's many. And even if you were to talk about all these things there's no real release.

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    It's very hard for me to understand how (the process of) all the manifestation of feelings intertwine and gets jumbled in Fe types like you and my sister (ESE). I just want to find the string in both of your minds and unravel it so that both of you achieve inner harmony and peace. They way that both of you speak about how your experiences affect you is so similar. To me so sad and almost hopeless because it's not just one thing. It's many. And even if you were to talk about all these things there's no real release.
    I am glad you brought up your ESE sister. I have one too. I feel like sometimes I am harder on her than I need to be. She also has trouble understanding what I am going through. She talks about her problems to anyone who will listen but I don't. Sometimes i think she is setting herself up by saying too much to people who are not even close to her. She does not see that being that open will lead to people misunderstanding her. I used to tell her to keep her mouth shut, around certain people, I knew would use things she told them against her. I would say, "sweetheart, there is no reason that everyone should know your business". She is getting better at it but a few drinks and the world knows I didn't play a game with her when she was a child and how she held a grudge into adulthood. lol We are past that now. <3

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    ..........I mean, what your saying isn't really wrong, but the way they link together is obviously anecdotal, and I think your perception on the inner workings of the IEI isn't keen, even if the external trappings your identifying as evidence are valid.
    @Pookie,

    I'm not as concerned about the inner workings except to explain the perception of behaviour by others; perception is what affects group dynamics. Everything held inside is irrelevant and anecdotal because the world will pass it by. The reasons for the failure and success of interrelationships has been more my concern so I guess I write descriptions from a 'management' perspective - what one has been given to work with......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Agree with everything here except for the fact that I'm awkward and not too great at "putting people at ease". This description with a more neurotic and cynical spin = me

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    I can relate to this. I must turn into IEI on my crappy days.
    LSI-Se 836 Sp/Sx

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    @summerprincess You might feel awkward, neurotic and cynical but what do you show to most people or what do most people see? @Pole Ninja Then on those days, you must be really under stress and questioning your raison d'Ítre......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    INFps quickly detect and understand connections and relations amongst people as well as people's interactions with their environments. However, they normally do not share any of their insights with others; instead, they'll adjust their behaviour to conform with the beliefs, habits and tastes of those around them suppressing their own true natures and opinions. This enables them to easily appeal to the emotions of everyone in the room, which makes them appear inoffensive, likeable and trustworthy; they can be superb diplomats and survivalists. They can distinguish falsehood, hypocrisy, ruse and debasement, but also can discerningly produce the same for their own purposes.

    Their knack for making people feel at ease and boosting their spirits does not apply to themselves. The act of hiding their true selves can make them conflicted, agitated and or moody but they will rarely show discontent or ever try to resolve their internal struggles. Paradoxically, they will sometimes go to great lengths to resolve external conflicts. They seem to be afraid that hostility or discord among co-workers, family and friends will lead to disaster for themselves so they try to ensure smooth relations among all who are deemed important to them. Because they're usually charming and adept at persuasion, they can usually facilitate harmony within groups.

    INFps are usually very critical of their own abilities, and may often devalue their own worth even while spouting bravado and confidence. Personal image is so very important to them; they're usually afraid of being unneeded or thought of as incompetent so they regularly seek compliments and encouragement. They're so much more adventurous, energetic and productive when they feel that they have the approval of others. Their mood is further improved when surrounded by a positive atmosphere. In a comfortable environment around familiar people, they seem to become bold and confident, and perhaps even a little opinionated and bossy. They really shine and perform best when surrounded by good interpersonal relations.

    Even with the self-doubt, INFps are generally optimistic and believe in positive outcomes. Their visions of a future are usually much more idealistic and positive than could possibly ever exist. Therefore, they're not inclined to save for rainy days or keep strict track of finances, and they may also waste resources on things that make them feel better in the moment. As well, they often act as if they've time to spare so they'll put off much until it's too late. If they fall into difficulties, they seem to have faith that they'll find a way - or a saviour.

    INFps see humour in life, like jokes and anecdotes, are playful and impish, and love evoking positive emotions. They will try to run away from conflict and when they can't, they'll seek immediate reconciliation and will often settle for compromises that are not favourable to them. They will avoid personalities that force them to reflect on their own shortcomings or failures; they do not like rehashing mistakes of the past. They get along best with people who are self-confident, strong, determined and who take the focus away from them; however, they will not allow themselves to be ruled. They can suddenly become obstinate, self-righteous and assertive when they sense threats to themselves or their loved ones. For those they love or admire, they'll do a lot - sometimes too much. If threats persist, they'll become provocative, rude and aggressive.

    They look upon long-term relationships rather pragmatically. They know that they need clarity because without it, they become lost and confused. Chaos, disorganization and lack of support plunge them into despair so they will choose people who can provide a logical map of the future and help them with achieving objectives. With clarity, they find that decision making isn't as daunting. Without structure, they become too complacent to the point of carelessness; they're too disorganized and easily distracted. Although they need people of strength, they really dislike strict control – they detest control-freaks and disciplinarians. With such individuals, they become cool, unemotional and sometimes venomous. Although they will try to manipulate to get what they want, INFps live by the principle of non-interference and cannot tolerate harassment of anyone by another.

    They prefer a casual look but will expend a huge effort on their physical appearance and on being appealing to others. They're very perceptive of style and taste, and they know how to be pleasing to the eye. However, their rather idealistic standards and values can be their downfall; their fanciful pursuit of unrealistic goals can be self-destructive. They often feel very burdened about not achieving their lofty goals. They will then sometimes complain about their health, poor care or the indifference of others as perhaps an excuse for own disorder or lack of achievement; however, they usually don't despair for long.

    The INFp chameleon-like persona allows them to adapt to most social situations even when they don't feel truly comfortable. But because they can almost tell what the other person is thinking, they can usually head off most potential awkwardness. Most see their peaceful, laissez-faire attitudes as friendly and nonthreatening, but many others see them as noncontributing; they don't seem to offer many opinions outside of a very narrow range of interests. They are extremely observant of minute nuances in body language, intonation and rationalization but they say little about their real beliefs. Their curse is that they leave too much unsaid; their own reticence makes them greatly misunderstood and underestimated. And, their seeming avoidance of those that don't exhibit buoyant positivity toward them can also limit their horizons.
    Hello Rebelondeck! May I know if this description is similar to an MBTI INFJ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pastel View Post
    Hello Rebelondeck! May I know if this description is similar to an MBTI INFJ?
    Not really although MBTI would likely have an aspect reflected in my descriptions because I also include a third-person perspective of behaviour; my descriptions are more from a team interaction/management perspective.......
    a.k.a. I/O

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    I agree with the general thread consensus. I worry that this description is a bit glowing (the "they won't be ruled" bit feels forer-effect-y in that it contradicts the "non-confrontational" depiction; of course people get mad if they feel like they're being babied/restricted), but it's an accurate depiction of how I perceive myself at my best.
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    Bit of a comic books nerd, bit of a fashion nerd, a lot of a generalized nerd

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stellafera View Post
    .........this description is a bit glowing.........
    There is the potential for real darkness embedded in the description if one looks close enough such as them producing falsehood, hypocrisy, ruse and debasement, and a lack of self worth can create a tailspin into the depths for them. However, as a manager, one tries to dwell on their productive aspects but sometimes one needs to know the negative translation in order to find them.....

    a.k.a. I/O

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