I'm pretty used to the Fe dual-seeking of LSIs in real life (which usually involves them being playful or directly seeking attention by planting themselves right next to me so that I acknowledge them). However, recently I've befriended an LII who I respect and admire. She does something I've noticed other LIIs (and some alpha NTs in general) doing, but have never scrutinized enough to understand--she behaves with what looks like indifference, usually, when I'm responding to her or making conversation. I interpret that reaction as polite disinterest and talk less, or try to shift the conversation to something that might interest her more. When I feel like these attempts have gone from being merely boring to mildly irritating, I give her space and do my own thing. To me, this is pretty standard behavior that works with the majority of people, but sooner or later, I notice the LII attempting to resuscitate the conversation. So I'm not sure if this is Fe DS behavior, if she isn't really bored but just not very good at broadcasting enthusiasm (she's also E5), or if she's feeling drained but not understanding why, so she tries to be polite without getting seriously invested. IDK GUYS. I've kind of experienced this with other alpha NTs in the past, doing the "I want to be included" thing, then disappearing when you try to engage them, then being like "hey why stop" when you give them their space. Is this just them being more comfortable letting someone else take the reigns, or am I not gregarious enough for them or what?
FWIW, this all goes on when we're communicating via text. Actual conversations via phone or whatever are usually fun-filled as long as one of us isn't falling asleep. Please help me be less of an emotional terrorist to alpha NTs.