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Thread: e4 and the hidden self

  1. #1
    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    May 2011
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    Default e4 and the hidden self

    I was putting together the following thoughts about E4, dunno if anything resonates

    i think very few people understand that feeling of that you would be too “soft” on yourself for believing you deserve love. most people are angry at others for not giving them the love they deserve. they may feel deeply insecure but some part of them believes that to be treated okay is within their right.

    fours have rejected their deserving from the very beginning. paradoxically, instead of believing that love will be given, they demand it (b/c they need it, even if they don't feel they deserve it). they become prickly, aloof, or "bad", attempt to care for all of their own needs in a self-sufficient vacuum of love, or become extraordinary to wrest attention all the while secretly feeling like they have nothing to offer. the envy never ends b/c there is always something that they can't do, and without the accoutrements, all they have to offer is themselves- which is terrifying.

    just speaking for myself, although E4 is a vulnerable type, I experience a lot of difficulty around real vulnerability. self-loathing, public displays of self-flagellation, maybe-- but all of that is a cover up for the kind of simplicity or genuine vulnerability that would make connection possible. vulnerability involves allowing yourself to be nothing. i have read literature about the three needing to reconnect with their hidden "simple self," but I feel the same is true for four. it is scary (or maybe not even possible, on most days) to show your simple self, the one that is not enough. this would probably be true for most people regarding letting go of their defenses. but without connecting with the simple self you will never know, if someone finds you to be enough.

  2. #2
    weirdleftovers's Avatar
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    May 2014
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    IEI-Ni, 4-9-5, sx/sp
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    After reading this, I ended up down the rabbit hole which questions what is the 'self'. How can one allow their self to be nothing when the understanding of self probably greatly differs from person to person. I've come to realize there are various definitions and philosophies of the self, so understanding and presenting the self is probably as personal and subjective as spirituality/religion. Then, I realized that love has a long standing tradition of being undefined. Ask a person what is love and you'll get a long, drawn out theoretical, philosophical, abstract concoction of words in a vain attempt to appear adult. Someone once told me to love a person is to treat that person the way they want to be treated, but doesn't that require the person to have some knowledge of self. Very few truths seem to exist with two being: change appears a constant and no one knows anything. We live in a world of theories awaiting their disproval.

    The four selfishly seeks that which will never be known, and discovers a voice, not for its self, but others. The four is not an emotional child but emotion unclouded by lies. The four is selfish, self centered filled with primal emotions. The four subconsciously understands the self is constantly evolving and requires frequent attention if it is to update its book of love. The four demands the world understand not merely his uniqueness, but the individuality in us all. The four loudly declares "I am not like you, so do not treat me as such".

    Honestly, take nothing I've said seriously. It's more random yabberings The 4, 5 and 9 have much in common. They lack gender identity and bring youthful energy, so says some theories.
    IEI-Ni, DCNH-H, 4w5-9w1-5w4, sx/sp, Aquarius sun, Leo rising
    "From their lives, and not least from their greatest fault--their inability to communicate--we may understand one of the greatest errors of our civilization, that is, the superstitious belief in verbal statements, the boundless overestimation of instruction by means of words and methods."--C.G. Jung on the introverted irrational types

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