Do INTjs refer to their mates as goddess?

[Polly]

I just started to date an INTJ. Its going quite stellarly. We just don't seem to tire conversation wise. He said something very sweet and romantic yesterday, that I was his 'goddess'.

What I found funny was that, my last INTJ bf used to refer to me as his goddess.

Is this something INTJ's do? Propel their mate to goddess status?

I haven't had any other bf's do it...well cept an INFJ who called me his Princess but I felt it was just more of an endearing term than anything.

BTW, very fun to be an INTJ's goddess. They seem so factual most of the time that you don't get to see that romantic, giving, and playful side of them. Already the INTJ I'm dating now is far more giving than most guy's I've dated (besides my previous 6 year INTJ relationship).

I tend to give a lot back and love reciprocating. I'm just as creative about it as they are so its like two kids spoiling each other. I don't recall actually any other couple going to the lengths we would for each other.

Digressing from topic here....

The reason it didn't work out is actually pretty complicated and relating to a whole series of events which occurred. I felt I needed a separation period and wanted to move out for a few months to get my head back on straight. He had let some self-destructive behavior into his life that was having a pretty big impact on me. He refused to deal with it at the time.

Between him not giving me any space to reflect (our heads were so wrapped up in each other, its hard to explain but without space from him, I didn't feel I could figure out how "I" felt about everything) and several other people getting involved, it created a situation that I no longer wanted to have anything to do with.

He had let a gold digger in his life and was under her advisement. She was filling his head with poisen thoughts which were not true. I was hurt he even believed them in the first place. I think he kind of was hoping that I would go to him and say, kick her out I'm coming back. I'm just not the type to ever do something like that. Instead, I walked away.

It felt like it was ripping my soul apart, but I detached...when I detach I don't re-attach ever again. I still feel sorry for him sometimes though. He is extremely loyal and a dedicated mate. Despite everything and having no contact with him for 4 years, I still think very highly of him. The woman he ended up with is nothing more than a gold digger who doesn't work and can't hold down a job. She's extremely lazy and a complete coach potatoe.

Before him, she was on welfare and trying to befriend old people so they'd leave her money in their wills. She is a master manipulator though that wiggled her way into his life while he was vunerable after our breakup. She was a friend of a friend who had heard about my separation from a successful guy who lavished gifts on me. She befriended me and even kept encouraging me to leave him actually.

She used my knowledge I had confided in her of him to get in. It certaintly wasn't her physical appearance, actual intelligence, or good morals.

I don't know if I was more hurt over the relationship ending or that I was replaced with THAT.

[oyburger]

That's very sweet, but I've never called a guy my "god" so maybe it's an INTj guy thing.

[UDP]

I'm guiltly.

That's very sweet, but I've never called a guy my "god" so maybe it's an INTj guy thing.

That seems to smack as "oh, i'm your bitch!", and any INTJ or INTj should have issues with subbordination. So I don't know if that is exactly what the matter is or maybe it's just a guy thing
........

I've noticed that myself, I have a lot of "careful" tendencies in how I go about things. I like giving, and I like reciprocation, and I like having some dominence in a relationship. This has a lot to do with why I find INFjs really attractive sometimes --- because we're both infantile, and she would be my identicle, so I would 'may' have a pretty good idea, inherently, of what she would like. ((note: the more confidence I have, the more towards careful I lean. The less confident, the more I need to be taken care of. Especially having realized this in myself, living in a confident way has become more and more consistent and improved upon.... though yeah, I do like to be catored to and made felt special, also, at times)).

Speaking of infantile (guleko erotic attitudes),

I just started to date an INTJ. Its going quite stellarly. We just don't seem to tire conversation wise. He said something very sweet and romantic yesterday, that I was his 'goddess'.

What I found funny was that, my last INTJ bf used to refer to me as his goddess.

Is this something INTJ's do? Propel their mate to goddess status?

I haven't had any other bf's do it...well cept an INFJ who called me his Princess but I felt it was just more of an endearing term than anything.

BTW, very fun to be an INTJ's goddess. They seem so factual most of the time that you don't get to see that romantic, giving, and playful side of them. Already the INTJ I'm dating now is far more giving than most guy's I've dated (besides my previous 6 year INTJ relationship).

Very much 'infantile' gulenko. I personally like the idea of having a goddess or someone special, that I can cator to a little bit, and hopefully she can reciprocate back to me. I think raising them up to such high heights is a slight indication of the infantile attitude, but I won't deny it within myself. It also reminds me of alpha quadra in general.

...

I tend to give a lot back and love reciprocating. I'm just as creative about it as they are so its like two kids spoiling each other. I don't recall actually any other couple going to the lengths we would for each other.

My advice -- keep it up
To speak 'systematically', if an INTJ finds something that works, he is increasingly more willing to use and expand those means. And you reciprocating back is a VERY POSITIVE thing. INTJ people (if they are anything like me) hate wasting my energy and time on people or things that don't really pay off or matter. But when there is something that works, and another partner is obliging and reciprocative in that thing (like spoiling each other and being somewhat lovey in the way an INTJ is comfortable with it), then the INTJs eyes lights up. The main point is, if you show an INTJ something you like, (especially if the INTJ enjoys this himself), then he WILL go out of his way to give it to you, AND always be on the lookout to make it better. That is the way. So if possible (just like for anyone else, I imagine), be honest about your likes and dislikes, and how much or littles space you want, etc.

As an INTJ INTj, I do not mind spending a lot of time with one person, so long as I really get along well with them. This is incredibly rare, and can only happen with one person at a time, but it has to do with sort of creating an ideal relationship (sort of like NF), but you could see it in NT as "an ideal situation or system". That's the dry side of it anyway....


What people seldom realize is the incredibly rich emotional life an INTJ has avalibile to them, and to share iwth others. Why? because like most things, whatever is supressed gains strength. Even if not intentionally so, it happens. Especially because it is nearly impossible for a true INTJ(or at least INTj) to 'cheat' on someone, and their loyalty is capable of being legendary, an INTJ will seek to optimize his relationship with you. And furthermore, since you are the only one, it will likley take on somewhat of an ideal state, (or at least he'll work towards that end), because INTJs do not half ass things, especially what is important to them. So if the relationship means anything to the INTJ, he will seek to make it better.

[FDG]

That's very sweet, but I've never called a guy my "god" so maybe it's an INTj guy thing.

That's kind of different, calling a guy a god is a bit too much

[oyburger]

.

That's very sweet, but I've never called a guy my "god" so maybe it's an INTj guy thing.

That seems to smack as "oh, i'm your bitch!", and any INTJ or INTj should have issues with subbordination. So I don't know if that is exactly what the matter is or maybe it's just a guy thing

I think its exactly a subordination issue.

[Kristiina]

I'm guiltly.

LOL. I thought 2 INTjs saying that was a huge co-incidence even if I do assume that ESFjs need their bf to worship and admire them.

[MrCrumbles]

UDP had some great comments, especially about INTJs finding something good and wanting to constantly build on it and make it better. He was also right about INTJ loyalty, it's rock-solid. The exception being if you intentionally hurt them. He'll work hard at the relationship and never give up on it so long as there is value coming from your side and your goals are aligned with his. If you lose interest he will slowly phase you out of his life. And if you do something intentionally malicious, you will at least be cut off forever. Retaliation may or may not be required (unlike ENTP where it definitely would I think). Usually if you are excommunicated the INTJ will view this as "problem solved" and may not see a need for vengeance, at least if he's able to keep intuition ahead of feeling.

As far as your INTJ calling you his "goddess," this likely (and ironically) stems from his ego and inflated self-image. INTJs usually have loads of self-confidence, they feel they are damn special. And if they are spending lots of time working at a relationship, making sacrifices, etc., she had better damn well be worth these efforts. He is always trying to maximize value out of his time and his relationships, and so therefore is extremely choosy. Part of the reason INTJs don't date very much is extraordinarily high standards. So If you meet this standards feel good about that, but don't precoccuped with not wanting to let him down. Because he can see right through that, and will not be pleased. He values strength, independence, and will accept you for what you are so long as it's honest. Best of luck and I hope it works out.

[UDP]

I'm guiltly.

LOL. I thought 2 INTjs saying that was a huge co-incidence even if I do assume that ESFjs need their bf to worship and admire them.

did they both spell it with two "l"s?
I'm having a major N influence lately, misplacing my keys and spelling things wrong here, mymind somewhere else


But... could you explain what you said? I really am not sure how to take that, or what context you are coming from.

[UDP]

UDP had some great comments, especially about INTJs finding something good and wanting to constantly build on it and make it better. He was also right about INTJ loyalty, it's rock-solid. The exception being if you intentionally hurt them. He'll work hard at the relationship and never give up on it so long as there is value coming from your side and your goals are aligned with his. If you lose interest he will slowly phase you out of his life. And if you do something intentionally malicious, you will at least be cut off forever. Retaliation may or may not be required (unlike ENTP where it definitely would I think). Usually if you are excommunicated the INTJ will view this as "problem solved" and may not see a need for vengeance, at least if he's able to keep intuition ahead of feeling.

As far as your INTJ calling you his "goddess," this likely (and ironically) stems from his ego and inflated self-image. INTJs usually have loads of self-confidence, they feel they are damn special. And if they are spending lots of time working at a relationship, making sacrifices, etc., she had better damn well be worth these efforts. He is always trying to maximize value out of his time and his relationships, and so therefore is extremely choosy. Part of the reason INTJs don't date very much is extraordinarily high standards. So If you meet this standards feel good about that, but don't precoccuped with not wanting to let him down. Because he can see right through that, and will not be pleased. He values strength, independence, and will accept you for what you are so long as it's honest. Best of luck and I hope it works out.

Yes, that's it, especially the last pargraph. INTJs tend to think very highly of themselves, or at least I do. I've gotten better as far as sheer arrogance goes, but it's still there. But having remarkably high standards and an inflated ego is probably a part of it.

So If you meet this standards feel good about that, but don't precoccuped with not wanting to let him down. Because he can see right through that, and will not be pleased. He values strength, independence, and will accept you for what you are so long as it's honest. Best of luck and I hope it works out.

I'd just like to add that I do like feeling needed, so a little clingyness is okay.

[Fry]

i thought INTJ dont get any gf.

how did ur two intj hook up with you? i wonder.

no, calling people godess is not just intj's thing. Maybe you are a godess regardless who you date, they would still call you godess. except some tell you and dont dont.

ps: can you fix me up with some nice girl? i am still a virgin..

[UDP]

i thought INTJ dont get any gf.

They sure as hell don't with that attitude.

[Fry]

i thought INTJ dont get any gf.

They sure as hell don't with that attitude.

what attitude?

[UDP]

If you go around life expecting that you aren't going to get a girl, and aren't worthy of one, then you won't.

What I meant was, if you really think that you won't get a girlfriend, then it is very unlikely that you will, as you are being your own worst enemy here. You've got to have confidence in yourself --- believe that you are worthy enough, etc etc etc.


Hopefully that makes sense.

[Polly]

how did ur two intj hook up with you? i wonder.

First: I was getting files in an IRC channel and he was a newbie who came in. He gave his HOME address out in the middle of this disreputable channel and I sent him a message cautioning him not to be so trusting (He thought I was being condescending and didn't like me at first) hahaha.

I was in there one day and mentioned I needed a new CD ROM, he happened to have one he would sell me really cheap. He sent it to me for me to test it out b4 I even sent him any money for it (yes I did pay for it). I thought it was just such a nice generous thing to do I started talking to him more regularly. We talked for about a year until he went to an xmas party at work and got hammered and sent me a drunken email saying he thought he might be in love with me and wanted to meet. We hit it off and were together 6 years.

New one: through a dating service

As for maybe all guy's think I'm a goddess...hardly.

Plus its not just the words, they actually treat you like a goddess. They do the most incredibly sweet things for you like design webpages in your honor, or create animations for you. We would be out and he'd notice me noticing things. I was always pretty shocked at how well he was at this.

I'd wake up Christmas morning and EVERY gift was something I just absolutely adored and really really wanted. I'd even feel guilty sometimes because we'd be out and I'd want to purchase stuff and he'd poo poo on the idea. I'd be all grumbly about it deep down but say nothing. Then I'd find it all wrapped up for me as a gift.

My first INTJ bf even sent me roses he made out construction paper, pipe cleaners, and glued little sparkles all over of them. It was so sweet it just blew me away. To this day, it is my favorite gift anyone has got me.

I'm the same with a mate especially if they are into it. I will also do shocking little suprises for them. Like spending an entire weekend while he was away using 1000's of glow in the dark stars (some hanging from different length invisible string for depth perception ) and pasting them all over the bedroom. So when he fell asleep his first night home the whole room just lit up like a Universe when we shut off the lights.

Most of my gifts for him had a theme, enjoyment and fun. His kind of fun though. Computer Hardware, sporting equipment, games......he also liked practical gifts he could really use.

[science as magic]

i've done something similar in the past. it is not wise. luckily i've never had it made known to the person to whom the sentiment was directed, ever. i would correct it in all honesty. it is not wise. sometimes, i hate a person when i discover them because i thought they were better than they were

[Mastermind]

.

That's very sweet, but I've never called a guy my "god" so maybe it's an INTj guy thing.

That seems to smack as "oh, i'm your bitch!", and any INTJ or INTj should have issues with subbordination. So I don't know if that is exactly what the matter is or maybe it's just a guy thing

I think its exactly a subordination issue.

I agree. If you call a female your "goddess," given our social conventions, then it's like you're pulling her up on her own little pedastool [sp?] of unique worth. However, if you call a male your "god," then you're just putting him above you as an individual.

[Polly]

i've done something similar in the past. it is not wise. luckily i've never had it made known to the person to whom the sentiment was directed, ever. i would correct it in all honesty. it is not wise. sometimes, i hate a person when i discover them because i thought they were better than they were

See this is my concern. I feel propelled pretty high here. I have stated to him more than once I want to make sure he's seeing my faults because when I guy puts you on a pedestal like that, its a long hard fall down if you can't live up to it.

They can sometimes place irrational and completely unrealistic expectations on you and that's what happened with my INTJ ex. I didn't really take much of this seriously, I just thought he was being extremely romantic.

I didn't realize he was resenting me everytime I ever so slightly slipped from my pedestal. I think he knew at some level his feelings were innapropropriate, but he still did have them.

I actually specifically mentioned this to this guy because it bothered me in the end because I questionned whether or not he really loved me or some fantasy image of me that I couldn't (nor could anyone else) compete with.

He stopped respecting me so much for not being this Venus De Milo character. When I found out, I was really really hurt because respect is essential to me in a relationship.

It's like whenever I couldn't be Venus he resented me just a littttle bit for it. Then he eventually started to see me as less than I actually was. In the end, he snapped out of it and I think he genuinely loved me for who I was its just by then, this behavior caused so much damage to the relationship that I wanted to get out. I can't tell you how much it hurt to realize we were living together and he quietely was resenting me for the last year of that.

Lessons learned:

1. Force an INTJ to tell you what's on their mind. They are pretty honest and will tell you. Inform him of any false conclusions he has jumped to about you.
2. Remind him of your faults, he won't leave you...he may need to be reminded that having faults is human nature (he has faults too).
3. Don't let yourself become completely reliant on an INTJ (even if they constantly encourage that reliance). Eventually they see that reliance as a weakness. They may start thinking you just 'can't' do certain things, things which you can but he is so much better at and seems to enjoy doing so you let him. <--- this was the most irrational part of all I found.

He was actually a little controlling over finances and I hate dealing with them anyway so gave up that responsibility to him. He knew this initially. Then somewhere a long the line he got it in his head I was simply unable to deal with finances (forgetting I had actually managed to survive and get through life before he came into it and actually tended to manage the finances in my previous relationships).

When I left, this is actually a thing he used to try to get me to stay. Finances. He'd try to tell me I was too weak to make it on my own financially (that's like throwing out a challenge to an ENTP). He made a lot more than me true, but I didn't need all the toys he did. I can actually live a pretty simple life and be content. All that stuff was just like a bonus for me. I never expected nor took it for granted but was under no illusions that it was required for me to function.

This type of behavior doesn't work with an ENTP. Control is control. Whether you are trying to do it through finances or other means. I will not be controlled by another individual.

I am not superficial and things that might work with a big chunk of the majority of the female population, do not impress me. Its the character behind all the behavior I'm impressed with.

4. INTJs live in their own heads even more than I do. Don't take for granted because they are so smart and intuitive in some areas that they have that extroverted intuition that allows them to see the things you do. They need to be informed of this type of stuff.

[oyburger]

Lessons learned:...

I should print these out for my husband :wink:

[science as magic]

Force an INTJ to tell you what's on their mind. They are pretty honest and will tell you. Inform him of any false conclusions he has jumped to about you.

this actually rather annoys me. i don't even know what i am saying three quarters of the time. i despise words. they make me lie against my will.

Remind him of your faults, he won't leave you...

I actually find this rather annoying as well. It is depressing. I know what you mean and I see how it could be done positively but with most people it just turns into "blah blah I'm a wretch." To which i feel compelled to reply "No, you aren't. Think positive." or some such. If it persists however I tend to tune it out and avoid it.

he may need to be reminded that having faults is human nature (he has faults too).

yes. i find that poignant when it is sincere and not an excuse for previous behavior.

Don't let yourself become completely reliant on an INTJ (even if they constantly encourage that reliance). Eventually they see that reliance as a weakness. They may start thinking you just 'can't' do certain things, things which you can but he is so much better at and seems to enjoy doing so you let him. <--- this was the most irrational part of all I found.

I actually did not relate to anything in this segment at all. I don't like to have people rely on me.

[UDP]

this actually rather annoys me. i don't even know what i am saying three quarters of the time. i despise words. they make me lie against my will.

so true.........

[Polly]

Polly wrote:
Force an INTJ to tell you what's on their mind. They are pretty honest and will tell you. Inform him of any false conclusions he has jumped to about you.

this actually rather annoys me. i don't even know what i am saying three quarters of the time. i despise words. they make me lie against my will.

I'm thinking of a few specific incidents in my dealings here with an INTJ. In particular, my poor record with details. If I haven't really exposed my umm intuitive side enough to an INTJ and explains how it works differently, I've had them think lesser of me than I actually am. When they see it in action, their mind changes. The thing is, my mate doesn't always get to see it, especially if I'm working long hours outside of home.

Polly wrote:
Remind him of your faults, he won't leave you...

I actually find this rather annoying as well. It is depressing. I know what you mean and I see how it could be done positively but with most people it just turns into "blah blah I'm a wretch." To which i feel compelled to reply "No, you aren't. Think positive." or some such. If it persists however I tend to tune it out and avoid it.

I don't think I'm a wretch. I'm actually really proud of how well balanced I am and what I've accomplished to date in life. This is more when an INTJ places his 'goddess' status on me its important for him not to get too caught up in his own fantasy. I don't need to be a goddess, I just need to be loved for who I am not some fantasy. I'm pretty good the way I am, I don't need someone to propell me to a goddess.

Polly wrote:
Don't let yourself become completely reliant on an INTJ (even if they constantly encourage that reliance). Eventually they see that reliance as a weakness. They may start thinking you just 'can't' do certain things, things which you can but he is so much better at and seems to enjoy doing so you let him. <--- this was the most irrational part of all I found.

I actually did not relate to anything in this segment at all. I don't like to have people rely on me.

Neither did the INTJ in the above case scenario. He constantly would offer help or just take care of matters. I thought he was doing it because he liked it without realizing he felt he had to because somewhere he got in his head I couldn't do it. Meanwhile he was secretely resenting me for being too dependent.

Basically INTJs can be great communicators or really poor ones. An INTJ who has isolated himself in his head and not learned to listen to other people's opinions, can and will jump to many conclusions about people which are false.

It's especially hard for these INTJs because they are so adept at so many things, its sometimes hard for them to except how wrong they can be.

[science as magic]

if this person is an intj i think you have a flawed understanding of his motivation. perhaps he lied to you and you took it as truth. this judgement is not a result of what i think intjs are but rather that your perception of past romatic partners in general seems to be skewed due in part to the animosity you display towards them (it bleeds through in your description of your relationships with the intj, infj, and estp). for example a persistent theme in your descriptions is that these people in some form or another do not show you proper respect/coddle you/mistreat you. i think that the above reaction to the behavior of the intj was something concluded after the relationship was already over/heading there rather than a problem that you noticed without provocation by the offending party. in other words it sounds sort of like you were looking for flaws in the other persons so that they could assume the blame for the result of the relationship whether warranted or not. it sort of seems a way to balance out what they did to you without you having to alter your behavior. "they didn't not like me because of me but rather because their insane controlling tendencies won't let them." or some such. i may well be full of crap.

[Apollonian]

I prefer the term "Empress". "Goddess" has ridiculously religious undertones. "Empress", though it elevates the recipient, does not necessarily put them on a higher pedestal (at least not while I am Emperor).

[Ederico]

I'm an INTJ, and even though I can be quite deeply caring and romantic, I wouldn't call someone my goddess. That though is something else, it is a religious question as far as I am concerned (I'm Catholic, and especially trying to be fervently so without becoming a cleric, I want a family and kids).

But frankly, I love to adore my women (I'm single now, not promiscuous!) and say nice things. What would eventually stop me doing so, is either unreceptivity for any due reason, and even worse because of insecurity. I'm extremely self-confident, cannot manage to tolerate someone who is bogged down in insecurity as I find it absolutely irrational. I can help get over with that, but then again cannot spend years doing so as if I don't see results I'm out of here. When I compliment, I would like a gracious smile back, if not a kiss at least.

I also like someone that can take my advice without feeling as if their pride and personal honour is marred. Putting up with my "I'm not moving a centimetre from my position" attitude when it comes to counter what I consider, and prove to be, irrationality, is not something I consider right but it is something which makes me like the person even more. In general, when I'm rationally proven wrong, I accept it with no word added.

[Mastermind]

I prefer the term "Empress". "Goddess" has ridiculously religious undertones. "Empress", though it elevates the recipient, does not necessarily put them on a higher pedestal (at least not while I am Emperor).

That's a good point.

[UDP]

I like the idea of being Knight for my Queen........ but also the King..... so...... uh....... ....... yeah.


Actually, I thought about the empire thing a while back....
funny it comes up here, like this...

[Ederico]

Actually, Empress, derives effectively from the Latin term Imperator. Which is effectively someone having command over inferiors. Unlike what is generally thought, the term originally used to refer to high-ranking military leaders and not necessarily to what nowadays is understood as Emperor/Empress.

If I had to choose a word for a truly loved one/soulmate, it would be MY LIFE. That doesn't mean subservience or being at the whims of such a person, it is something deeper.

[UDP]

I know

[Polly]

Actually thinking now maybe just MBTI INTJ. More I get to know him the more layers come out. Initially he was quite stoic and a bit shy. Very informative when he spoke though and we definately think very similar.

I'm thinking he is either an Alpha or ISTP. He's a very inventive bloke, very creative and in an original idea kind of way. What struck me was that he mentioned he can look at something and then uses his "minds eye" to reproduce it. This actually sounds almost ISFP to me. I can paint and sketch but for accuracy, I'm constantly going between the picture I'm using and the canvas.

From what I read, the ISFp seems to have this really good long term memory for things they are able to visualize. At first I just thought he had this freakish memory but see it only applies to certain areas. He also seems very open to change in his opinion if new info comes in. This seems like kind of a perceiving trait to me.

The more he opens up the more I see we share this same kind of really rich fantasy world. I mean we both definately know the difference between reality and fantasy, its just we both like to ummm play in that fantasy realm. We'll actually make up stories for each other.

The more relaxed he becomes the more playful he becomes too. We're like two little kids.

[UDP]

an MBTI INTJ
and soconics ISFp?


Wow, that's a stretch.
I wouldn't jump the gun calling him your dual, it seems like everyone does that

But if it works out, that's great

[science as magic]

one of those was probably a typo

[UDP]

I edited my post a few times and for some reason it wouldn't accept

"MBTI INTJ
and socionics ISFp"

I edited my post now, but I'm not sure if that really makes a difference

[mike_INTJ]

Actually thinking now maybe just MBTI INTJ. More I get to know him the more layers come out. Initially he was quite stoic and a bit shy. Very informative when he spoke though and we definately think very similar.

I'm thinking he is either an Alpha or ISTP. He's a very inventive bloke, very creative and in an original idea kind of way. What struck me was that he mentioned he can look at something and then uses his "minds eye" to reproduce it. This actually sounds almost ISFP to me. I can paint and sketch but for accuracy, I'm constantly going between the picture I'm using and the canvas.

From what I read, the ISFp seems to have this really good long term memory for things they are able to visualize. At first I just thought he had this freakish memory but see it only applies to certain areas. He also seems very open to change in his opinion if new info comes in. This seems like kind of a perceiving trait to me.

The more he opens up the more I see we share this same kind of really rich fantasy world. I mean we both definately know the difference between reality and fantasy, its just we both like to ummm play in that fantasy realm. We'll actually make up stories for each other.

The more relaxed he becomes the more playful he becomes too. We're like two little kids.

i don't think you can apply a personality with how the brain works. on every test i've taken 98% of the time will get INTJ - INTp as a result. i think in pictures, can remember in pictures, smells, emotions, sounds, etc. i have a memory that goes all the way back to nursery school, but only in bits and pieces. usually stuff that was different than the other days.

i can see objects and reassemble them in my mind. see parts of something see how it would go together in my head, make a plan and then do it.

i can use my personality traits with the minds eye, and then get what is me out of it. but the two things aren't really connected...

[Ms. Kensington]

I mean we both definately know the difference between reality and fantasy, its just we both like to ummm play in that fantasy realm. We'll actually make up stories for each other.

possibly hot.

er yeah what i was gonna say is that i tend to heap on the compliments, so i could see "goddess" getting out in the fray.

[duntee]

I am an ENFP female and I have somewhat of a "crush" on an INTJ male.

this guy, i've been talking to him online (never met) almost everyday for over a year. Most of the time I have to initiate the convo, but he does too. My dilemma is that I would love nothing more than to come right out and tell him how I feel, but I don't want to freak him out or anything.

some back ground on him: He is an aerospace engineer (which is what attracted me to him in the first place), so he's extremely intelligent. He does come off as arrogant, but only in his area of expertise. we usually have these little mini-debates about anything everytime we talk, and he likes these because he tries to win every one of them, because he must be right. He isn't a huge talker, but I know what to say to make him talk and when he gets in that mood he's does talk. He does not like small talk, meaningless chatter, it must be about something. So that's that...

I've read basically this entire thread and nearly every description of an INTj fits him. Sometimes, I even get from him what I perceive as flirtation (he teases me, he shares stuff with me about work or friends, he took a picture of a sunset and sent it too me because he lives in UT i'm in NC). But (as an ENFP) I really don't want to be rejected/disliked. Another thing is that I am black and he is white, so I don't know how he would take my profession of feelings, especially in a situation where many would call it controversial.

So I'm stuck...any INTJ's out there that could shed light on how you would feel in this situation?

[xiuxiu]

for starters the race issue would not matter to an intj in the least. secondly, you may run into problems dating one because of the intj >> enfp supervisory relation. those friendly, enlightening little discussions you have may very well turn into wars that he will definitely win. this is especially something i've noticed with myself and enfps. i don't wish to insult them and they are nice people, and it is not out of malice, but in heated discussion (and intj/enfp discussion does get hot) Ti will obliterate an enfp's logic, and Ti with Ne will enable the intj to counter every scenario the enfp presents with one of equal significance (intj's are masters of the devil's advocate stance), and he will enjoy doing it. this is very painful to enfps. even scorn (enfp feebly targetting the intj's Fi for perceived malice towards the enfp) of this logical dominance will be lost on an intj for the most part, as he sees no ethical boundaries being crossed just by exercising his Ti. if the guy really is intj i would advise against it, plus, you know, the whole 2,000 miles apart thing is a bit silly. though that will probably not likely deter two Ne types.

[oyburger]

^Just explained why my ENFp freind and I no longer engage in "combat".

[duntee]

Ti will obliterate an enfp's logic, and Ti with Ne will enable the intj to counter every scenario the enfp presents with one of equal significance (intj's are masters of the devil's advocate stance), and he will enjoy doing it.

Yeah, I've noticed that, and it can get out of hand, if you let it. but i'm pretty smart and i hate confrontation, so i doubt i would let it get too far. especially with someone i like as much as him.

[science as magic]

Ti will obliterate an enfp's logic, and Ti with Ne will enable the intj to counter every scenario the enfp presents with one of equal significance (intj's are masters of the devil's advocate stance), and he will enjoy doing it.

the flaw in this is that they then proceed to ignore the enfp's stance even if it is as you said "one of equal significance." counter alternatives do not negate one another

[duntee]

just a quick note, i told him anyway...his response was pretty funny.

he proceeded with a barage of jokes, most pretty corny,but funny.

but he didn't pull away like i thought he was, but he never was very straight forward. Most of what he wanted to say was said through jokes.

I did try asking him directly, but I think he was unable to express himself clearly. Anyway, INTJs joking...is that a good sign?