Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: An interaction tonight with my LIE friend makes me think I might be ESI

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    256
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default An interaction tonight with my LIE friend makes me think I might be ESI

    I never really considered ESI a possibility for my type until tonight as I'm not an emotional person, most people tell me I'm serious or stoic, but a conversation tonight has me thinking I might be one. A very close friend (LIE) and I got into a strange conversation about how he wants his remains treated after he dies. He said he wants to save everyone the cost of a funeral and to just have his ashes dumped down a big storm drain. He demanded the money he leaves behind be used for things other than pointless rituals.

    I told him there was no way I'd allow that to be done with his remains, and he replied that cremated remains are just bone meal, that you should no more hold a ritual for them than you would for an arm that's amputated. I told him that he doesn't get it; It's not about the physical matter, it's about honoring someone's impact in your life. Flushing their ashes down the toilet and through the sewer system doesn't strike me as an appropriate way to do that. I actually started to feel a bit angry through the course of this conversation. He was serious, and I know from experience that he doesn't take cremains seriously as he has ashes of a family member still in its original plastic gray tub just sitting in his laundry cabinet. I brought those up and told him it's time to properly deal with those to.

  2. #2
    lump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    TIM
    Fi/Te 6 sp/sx
    Posts
    12,593
    Mentioned
    631 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm actually with your friend on this one. Throw me in a ditch for all i care. But I'm not blind to where you're coming from and i wouldn't disrespect somebody's post- death wishes just because i personally don't mind.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    TIM
    9w1
    Posts
    2,773
    Mentioned
    153 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    tell him you will freeze his pineal gland and talk to it every two sunsets
    unholy water sanguine addiction

  4. #4
    Contra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    TIM
    ILI-Ni
    Posts
    1,405
    Mentioned
    55 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    For what it's worth, I never have very strong opinions about this stuff, but my EII friend definitely would and he would definitely fall on your side. I don't know if that means you are ESI or not. but it's something.

  5. #5
    Chains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    2,290
    Mentioned
    65 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Nah, you're just insisting on doing something that has a very strong tradition, going back to our earliest ancestors. It is also culturally ingrained in most of us. But I agree, it is kind of pointless to have a service centered around his remains. After all, the dead are dead and won't know you even had a service and nothing that is said during the service is going to reach the ears of the deceased anyways because there is nothing there to perceive. You can still hold a service, he'll never know, but I find that would be disrespectful to his beliefs and wishes. Funerals and services unfortunately end up being more about what the friends and family of the deceased want instead of what the deceased would have wanted. You can still celebrate his life in ways that don't involve his remains and won't go against what he wants.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    TIM
    SEE! Type 7
    Posts
    69
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I have two LIE friends...one of which has been a really good friend over 20 years.

    In your case, your LIE friend may be depressed. Ask him how his stock portfolio/business dealings/ex wife are doing right now. I'd be willing to bet there is something wrong in one of these areas.
    I'm just an effin ray of sunshine

  7. #7
    Pride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Spain
    TIM
    ILI-INTp
    Posts
    6
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HotSauce View Post
    I have two LIE friends...one of which has been a really good friend over 20 years.

    In your case, your LIE friend may be depressed. Ask him how his stock portfolio/business dealings/ex wife are doing right now. I'd be willing to bet there is something wrong in one of these areas.
    I think he does't have to be depressed. I have a similar view to that friend, if I'm dead, why cause more problems? I prefer that the huge funeral save money and spend it at a party. Not reach the level of say I thrown down the toilet, my head tells me that in case there is something beyond, prefer to throw me into a more beautiful place ... just for good measure

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    2,230
    Mentioned
    39 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Life insurance pays for funerals.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    TIM
    SEE! Type 7
    Posts
    69
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pride View Post
    I think he does't have to be depressed. I have a similar view to that friend, if I'm dead, why cause more problems? I prefer that the huge funeral save money and spend it at a party. Not reach the level of say I thrown down the toilet, my head tells me that in case there is something beyond, prefer to throw me into a more beautiful place ... just for good measure
    yeah but...down the toilet? The guy in the OP wants to be flushed down a toilet. You don't think that's a pessimistic statement that reflects a depressed mental state? If the cost or fuss of a funeral is the factor, there's other ways to deal with it other than sending your remains to the sewer. People bury their dogs in the backyard for goodness sakes...there's no way I'd be OK flushing a loved one down a toilet.
    I'm just an effin ray of sunshine

  10. #10
    Shay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    776
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I get into similar discussions at times with those I care about.
    The truth is that I don't really see the point of doing much with my body or ashes when I die as nobody will really care, will they. I don't think I will.
    But for the sake of those who care some, I guess my ashes can be strewn somewhere nice for them to sit and think for a bit...but is it really worth it...how often will this be performed...life comes and life goes...my time on this world will be up...
    No point doing anything extravagant as a coffin with satin will hold no value to me and not much if anything at all to anyone else either.

    The process of 'ashes dumped down a big storm drain' could be symbolic of life - All life or just his in particular. This is an insight into your friend - he is likely telling you how he thinks/feels overall.

    But then again it could just be all about money though I highly doubt that.





    - No funeral service, just scatter my ashes somewhere and if needed those of you who care or need to, can come think/talk with me there -
    Last edited by Shay; 02-24-2016 at 12:20 AM.

  11. #11
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    MACS0647-JD
    TIM
    ILI ~ 458 sx/sp
    Posts
    9,876
    Mentioned
    728 Post(s)
    Tagged
    40 Thread(s)

    Default

    I can sort of relate to your friend and you. I personally would not pour someone's ashes down a storm drain. I would rather wait for a rainstorm and allow their ashes to dissolve back into the ground.

    I want to be cremated and I don't want my family spending a lot of money on the disposal of my remains. Ideally they would give me a viking funeral by floating me out on the lake in my backyard. That sounds a bit narcissistic. haha All they would need is an inexpensive small boat (I am kind of small) and lighter fluid. Maybe my SLI brother in-law could build it. He probably has thought of (metaphorically) setting me on fire when I annoy him anyway.

    The more that I think about it, I feel I would like to have my ashes scattered over our lake anyway. My home and the property around it has a really mystical feel to it. Especially when the mist/fog rolls off the lake. I would like if all my family members do the same. My mom is torn between having her ashes buried at sea (because my stepdad was buried at sea) and having her ashes scattered here on the lake. Don't think the neighbors would like that though unless they invited them over for drinks and a barbeque after.




    Once I am dead though none of this will matter and they can do what they want. I will be off on another adventure somewhere in the cosmos, perhaps in another universe, in another form...
    #endthecycleofrebirth

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







  12. #12
    End's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    TIM
    ILI-Ni sp/sx
    Posts
    536
    Mentioned
    86 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I can sort of relate to your friend and you. I personally would not pour someone's ashes down a storm drain. I would rather wait for a rainstorm and allow their ashes to dissolve back into the ground.

    I want to be cremated and I don't want my family spending a lot of money on the disposal of my remains. Ideally they would give me a viking funeral by floating me out on the lake in my backyard. That sounds a bit narcissistic. haha All they would need is an inexpensive small boat (I am kind of small) and lighter fluid. Maybe my SLI brother in-law could build it. He probably has thought of (metaphorically) setting me on fire when I annoy him anyway.

    The more that I think about it, I feel I would like to have my ashes scattered over our lake anyway. My home and the property around it has a really mystical feel to it. Especially when the mist/fog rolls off the lake. I would like if all my family members do the same. My mom is torn between having her ashes buried at sea (because my stepdad was buried at sea) and having her ashes scattered here on the lake. Don't think the neighbors would like that though unless they invited them over for drinks and a barbeque after.




    Once I am dead though none of this will matter and they can do what they want. I will be off on another adventure somewhere in the cosmos, perhaps in another universe, in another form...
    #endthecycleofrebirth
    Well, I can kind of try to lay out the character of my mirror. I, as an ILI, do *not* care if if a given action is working in the moment. The vision is paramount, only serves it, it's the hammer I apply to the nail tells me I must pound on. I'm in this for the long haul. My own death may be necessary and if it is, well, so be it. The "vision" is the end goal. I would think it would be the same for an IEI, the dominant function, that prophetic vision... The mirror "gets" my drive and devotion, but isn't as willing to sacrifice for it. They'd rather see their plots working towards their goal over an apparent loss that, if viewed from another angle, actually is very good for them.The concept of a "Pyrrhic" victory is lost on them sadly, the extroverted "mirror" just doesn't quite grasp that concept. We, in turn, don't push when we really ought to. Thus, the theory completes itself. The mirrors "get" each other in a very deep manner, yet cannot really help each other sadly. We both see the problem and couldn't agree more on what must be done, but our methods of removing it are just flip sides of the same coin.

    Thus, the love/hate relationship mirrors have. YES! You get it! But the rational/irrational axis just can't get along in the end. If only we could help out but, well... ya both got the same ego functions. Thus, the coin problem. You're both so similar that, well, ya might as well be twins. Sucks but well, that's how it all works out.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •