Something I admire about Se egos

[SongOfSapphire]

There's one thing in particular I admire about Se-egos, particularly SXEs, and that is their instinct to stick up for their own interests.

This is something I think about from time to time, now more than usual.

The most recent example just happened, and while it's minor I think it's telling of how weak Se often plays out in everyday ways: I placed an order for flowers to be delivered to my mother-in-law, whose birthday is Sunday, and I signed up for Saturday delivery since this florist is closed on Sundays. A few minutes after I'd confirmed the order, I received a phone call from the florist, who explained that they would be closed this weekend and asked if it would be alright to have the flowers delivered on Friday instead. I was frustrated and said a little impatiently, "It sounds like it has to be okay, if you're going to be closed Saturday." To which she responded that they would put in extra flowers to make it bigger and prettier than what I'd ordered. At which point I thanked her and joked that it was for my MiL, who is intimidating, and she laughed and said she understood.

I didn't even think of asking for anything in exchange for not getting exactly what I'd ordered; I just resigned myself to losing out in that small way.

The SXEs I know would, I'd expect, either cancel the order and go w someone else, or ask for something in return -- extra flowers or whatever -- in response, whereas I didn't even think of it and wouldn't receive anything to compensate for the inconvenience had the florist herself not offered.



I'm not sure there's much point to this post, other than to point out my observations and admiration. Maybe some of you Se folk can weigh in and give tips or something

It seems to me that SXEs are usually good deal-makers, and tend to know how to negotiate well due to their confidence in exactly what they bring to the table, and even willingness to talk up what they bring even if it is relatively little. I can only do this in small burts, it seems

[Muddy]

I actually think Te egos would be more concerned then Se egos about making sure they get the most out of deals like in the situation described. SLE in the above scenario would probably not care about things like extra flowers which to them are not seen as something necessary for survival, whereas LSE would be very meticulous in making sure they get the most possible out of every deal no matter how trivial. Se only really comes into play when someone is blatantly trying to screw you over big time, otherwise I think having strong and valued Te plays the bigger role in being able to confidently negotiate better deals.

[Reficulris]

I actually think Te egos would be more concerned then Se egos about making sure they get the most out of deals like in the situation described. SLE in the above scenario would probably not care about things like extra flowers which to them are not seen as something necessary for survival, whereas LSE would be very meticulous in making sure they get the most possible out of every deal no matter how trivial. Se only really comes into play when someone is blatantly trying to screw you over big time, otherwise I think having strong and valued Te plays the bigger role in being able to confidently negotiate better deals.

The sxe's might not care for the flowers or the "deal", but IF they did care they would not have agrees to the

I have very similar experienced as op, where i let go because i don't feel pressure is nice even though then I feel pressured. Its about not wanting to "hurt" the other i guess for me at least.

not to say I never do pressure people, i just usually downplay the importance to me over contesting wills.


(is this related to yielding/obstinate?)

[consentingadult]

There's one thing in particular I admire about Se-egos, particularly SXEs, and that is their instinct to stick up for their own interests.

You mean like the SLE guy I recently saw at the supermarket, openly whining and complaining about how the queues at the check-outs were too long, and then when another check-out opened, ran to get there first before other people who were waiting in queue longer than he was? That guy won the battle alright, but he lost the war ;-)

[HotSauce]

I'd just tell her nicely that I really needed them on Sunday, and I would find a florist who could do so. Thanks buh bye

[Beautiful sky]

Se ego and valuers want to look strong and don't like presenting themselves as weak and incapable. If there was a challenge somehow it was surmounted and overcome. I guess if you want to be on top of everything and the most admired this would be desirable. For me and Delta to be just human is plenty. No one on top except for their merits

[darya]

That's not exclusive to Se egos, in fact it's more typical for Te egos, especially LSE's. But ExTx's can all be pushy in this way.

[darya]

Se ego and valuers want to look strong and don't like presenting themselves as weak and incapable. If there was a challenge somehow it was surmounted and overcome. I guess if you want to be on top of everything and the most admired this would be desirable. For me and Delta to be just human is plenty. No one on top except for their merits

I wanted to ask this question for a long time: why is Se always equated with strength (or better - what kinda strength are we talking about? more like willpower or always domination/status?) That might be a deal with Beta ST's (and not even that, some LSI's are nerdy af), but gamma SF's often don't have problems with showing/talking about their vulnerabilities or appear non-threatening or be a bit submissive. They do usually have hangups about being incompetent , but not even that is always the case (my SEE girl friend doesn't give a shit if people think she's lazy and always high at work, as long as she's having fun and makes people smile. She's studying to become a teacher in elementary school and doesn't want to lead anyone). I know many sappy happy-go-lucky SEE's (female in particular) who could care less about appearing all-mighty and dominate their environment or appear Alpha.

LSE's are in many many cases much more concerned with being Alpha and nitpicking everybody around them, as they are much more inflexible and have worst people skills.They are definitely not only concerned about themselves and being human, but very much so of being on top. Can someone explain how Se = power power alpha alpha, cause I'm definitely not seeing this in many Se egos, but very often notice it in Te-leads, who are also ime more prevalent among CEO's?

[Beautiful sky]

I wanted to ask this question for a long time: why is Se always equated with strength (or better - what kinda strength are we talking about? more like willpower or always domination/status?) That might be a deal with Beta ST's (and not even that, some LSI's are nerdy af), but gamma SF's often don't have problems with showing/talking about their vulnerabilities or appear non-threatening or be a bit submissive. They do usually have hangups about being incompetent , but not even that is always the case (my SEE girl friend doesn't give a shit if people think she's lazy and always high at work, as long as she's having fun and makes people smile. She's studying to become a teacher in elementary school and doesn't want to lead anyone). I know many sappy happy-go-lucky SEE's (female in particular) who could care less about appearing all-mighty and dominate their environment or appear Alpha.

LSE's are in many many cases much more concerned with being Alpha and nitpicking everybody around them, as they are much more inflexible and have worst people skills.They are definitely not only concerned about themselves and being human, but very much so of being on top. Can someone explain how Se = power power alpha alpha, cause I'm definitely not seeing this in many Se egos, but very often notice it in Te-leads, who are also ime more prevalent among CEO's?

I'll explain in more detail. To appear strong is to give the impression that one is capable in an area. For example an IEI who displays their intellectual prowess or an SLE who says they have to be the man. An SEE who looks for the qualified individual who can lead and is willing to strategize to get what they want. Do they appear vulnerable? Yes they can sometimes that is a part of the strategy sometimes it's how they look and sometimes it's the feelings that they can have for people they like.

LSE can't help being assholes sometimes by their grufness, harshness, grumpiness, but this is done without much thought as they may not have a filter when they speak. They want to appear as correct and right. Trust me they may say "no" to something firmly when they are wrong only to discover that they are wrong. They appear aggressive, put people down. Check @Sol has done this to me countless times. This may appear as strong or "alpha" and when in charge they too can push people to do the job. And they can be much colder than SLE in action towards people to the point where some don't have friends but only acquaintances.

When I said don't like presenting themselves as weak and incapable I meant putting their weaknesses forward by volunteering information. My SEE friend will use the strategy of presenting herself as the wealthy person to catch her mate. She doesn't need to disclose her savings account when she meets a cute guy. Another may brag about Idk what position of importance they have or how helpful and generous they are.

I have never dated an SLE who will say that they have bad knees. The don't sleep well at night, they have stomach issues etc. Those feelings of ailment don't seem to bother them as much or they can mentally work past them?


Generally will is one's mobilization but it can have display properties too. The magnanimous qualities. Sometimes it shows up in strategies

[Beautiful sky]

That's not exclusive to Se egos, in fact it's more typical for Te egos, especially LSE's. But ExTx's can all be pushy in this way.

What are your weaknesses?

[The Reality Denialist]

Well, the thing is what is strength actually? I have been called as strong by Se ego (ESI) which seemed bit odd. Some sort of relational indepence of others can be seen as that, I think. Fi PoLR. or 1D Fi. I actually see myself as constatly failing at having some kind of real authority when needed (I don't really like that... but it is needed at times). I do have some perseverance although it seems painfull.

[Sol]

Check Sol has done this to me countless times.

Not to you, but to some yours wrong opinions about types by wich you were misleading yourself and people here. If you'd had valued Te, you'd perceive the situation more favourably. This forum is for discussions. LSI style of communication you'd prefer more, as they are more quiet, less linear and with role Fi tend to look more cute on public.

[Beautiful sky]

Not to you, but to some yours wrong opinions about types by wich you were misleading yourself and people here. If you'd had valued Te, you'd perceive the situation more favourably. This forum is for discussions. LSI style of communication you'd prefer more, as they are more quiet, less linear and with role Fi tend to look more cute on public.

Sure

[HotSauce]

I don't need to appear strong and admirable to other people, it's not something I wake up every day and strive for. In daily life I can be a bit submissive on the outside, like someone mentioned above. Submissive to me means I don't try to control things. Submissive doesn't mean doormat. I'm very happy to go with the flow. Inside though, I am tough as nails. I only think this because people tend to be surprised at how easily I deal with life. I don't strive for this either, it's just how I am, and that's the reaction I get.

When comparing how I go about my life with others people's lives, I guess I do appear really strong. I am still usually a little surprised when people say things like "wow, you did that by your self" and related statements. I'm thinking, "Really? That's special? I just did what had to be done, nothing special about it."

I mean really. Even when life hands you lemons, you just have to keep going. What else is there to do?

[darya]

I'll explain in more detail. To appear strong is to give the impression that one is capable in an area. For example an IEI who displays their intellectual prowess or an SLE who says they have to be the man. An SEE who looks for the qualified individual who can lead and is willing to strategize to get what they want. Do they appear vulnerable? Yes they can sometimes that is a part of the strategy sometimes it's how they look and sometimes it's the feelings that they can have for people they like.

LSE can't help being assholes sometimes by their grufness, harshness, grumpiness, but this is done without much thought as they may not have a filter when they speak. They want to appear as correct and right. Trust me they may say "no" to something firmly when they are wrong only to discover that they are wrong. They appear aggressive, put people down. Check @Sol has done this to me countless times. This may appear as strong or "alpha" and when in charge they too can push people to do the job. And they can be much colder than SLE in action towards people to the point where some don't have friends but only acquaintances.

When I said don't like presenting themselves as weak and incapable I meant putting their weaknesses forward by volunteering information. My SEE friend will use the strategy of presenting herself as the wealthy person to catch her mate. She doesn't need to disclose her savings account when she meets a cute guy. Another may brag about Idk what position of importance they have or how helpful and generous they are.

I have never dated an SLE who will say that they have bad knees. The don't sleep well at night, they have stomach issues etc. Those feelings of ailment don't seem to bother them as much or they can mentally work past them?


Generally will is one's mobilization but it can have display properties too. The magnanimous qualities. Sometimes it shows up in strategies

Tbh that's all too abstract. Doesn't everybody like to show they are capable in one area or the other, whichever is important to their ego? If I'm getting you correctly, displaying competency is supposed to be more important to Se valuers? If that's what you mean, than I disagree - for example, LII's will definitely try to show their competence to impress people. And so will plenty of other people.

Se valuing people supposedly present their weaknesses only in case when they need to "hook" their duals (or in other ways benefit from situation), and never otherwise? When they show their weaknesses it's always a strategy, but it's not so with Se-devaluing types? I don't think this division between Se- valuers and others holds water.

About SEE's being huge braggarts and materialists...definitely true for some, not at all for others. Just way too much variation within the type. I wouldn't say that's the defining characteristic of this type. And when you go as far as some of them only brag about being kind and generous lol, doesn't almost everybody brag about something? Humble SEE's with self-effacing kind of humor do exist. I find SEE's less materialistic then many ESE's for example, ESE's are the ones that are really image conscious, worrying about being seen as perfect in community. SEE's usually just like buying new gadgets so they can play with them like happy enthusiastic golden retrievers: )

What I see as Se "strength" in SEE's is that they are quite pushy . When they want you to do something/go somewhere they try to persuade you by all means and just don't give up. They can be very annoying and overwhelming when things don't go the way they imagined in that very second. They can also be brash and direct when needed, so they can offend people.

What are your weaknesses?

Do you mean at work? My personality?
At work I'd say that I'm bad at physical and practical work - if some technology fails, I'm incapable to fix it, I'm bad at things like accounting, computers, engineering, anything natural science related...I also dislike working at jobs where I have to deal with finances or economics, so I choose different occupations where analytical thought and soft skills are important.
My personal weaknesses that probably hold me back - being too proud and guarded, concerned with what people think of me. Easily infuriated and too aggressive when angry. Maybe also too idealistic about how worlds should be (nonproductive anger about how it's not the way I want it to be lol).

[darya]

I don't need to appear strong and admirable to other people, it's not something I wake up every day and strive for. In daily life I can be a bit submissive on the outside, like someone mentioned above. Submissive to me means I don't try to control things. Submissive doesn't mean doormat. I'm very happy to go with the flow. Inside though, I am tough as nails. I only think this because people tend to be surprised at how easily I deal with life. I don't strive for this either, it's just how I am, and that's the reaction I get.

When comparing how I go about my life with others people's lives, I guess I do appear really strong. I am still usually a little surprised when people say things like "wow, you did that by your self" and related statements. I'm thinking, "Really? That's special? I just did what had to be done, nothing special about it."

I mean really. Even when life hands you lemons, you just have to keep going. What else is there to do?

Yeah, that's exactly how I see SEE's approach to life. Often other people see them as strong and capable and they become leaders at work even when that wasn't their personal goal. Some of them are braggarts and try to present themselves as jack of all trades, others are humble and don't understand why people think they're so competent. It's all go with the flow and handling shit of life on the spot, being very good at surviving

I just don't think appearing high status and being in charge are defining characteristic of this type, at least not any more than some other.

[Beautiful sky]

Tbh that's all too abstract. Doesn't everybody like to show they are capable in one area or the other, whichever is important to their ego? If I'm getting you correctly, displaying competency is supposed to be more important to Se valuers? If that's what you mean, than I disagree - for example, LII's will definitely try to show their competence to impress people. And so will plenty of other people.

Se valuing people supposedly present their weaknesses only in case when they need to "hook" their duals (or in other ways benefit from situation), and never otherwise? When they show their weaknesses it's always a strategy, but it's not so with Se-devaluing types? I don't think this division between Se- valuers and others holds water.

About SEE's being huge braggarts and materialists...definitely true for some, not at all for others. Just way too much variation within the type. I wouldn't say that's the defining characteristic of this type. And when you go as far as some of them only brag about being kind and generous lol, doesn't almost everybody brag about something? Humble SEE's with self-effacing kind of humor do exist. I find SEE's less materialistic then many ESE's for example, ESE's are the ones that are really image conscious, worrying about being seen as perfect in community. SEE's usually just like buying new gadgets so they can play with them like happy enthusiastic golden retrievers: )

What I see as Se "strength" in SEE's is that they are quite pushy . When they want you to do something/go somewhere they try to persuade you by all means and just don't give up. They can be very annoying and overwhelming when things don't go the way they imagined in that very second. They can also be brash and direct when needed, so they can offend people.



Do you mean at work? My personality?
At work I'd say that I'm bad at physical and practical work - if some technology fails, I'm incapable to fix it, I'm bad at things like accounting, computers, engineering, anything natural science related...I also dislike working at jobs where I have to deal with finances or economics, so I choose different occupations where analytical thought and soft skills are important.
My personal weaknesses that probably hold me back - being too proud and guarded, concerned with what people think of me. Easily infuriated and too aggressive when angry. Maybe also too idealistic about how worlds should be (nonproductive anger about how it's not the way I want it to be lol).

I can scream when I'm extremely frustrated but I'm not aggressive. I like reading this