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Thread: Guides for dual pairs: ISTj and ENFj (LSI-EIE)

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Default Guides for dual pairs: ISTj and ENFj (LSI-EIE)

    Original source: http://ml.socionik.com/post/331031.html

    ++added: see also Duality observations


    EIE as a necessary component for maximum efficiency for LSI.

    When, again, you will add another inch to your multi-layered psychological armor, when for the 100th time you will slide your finger along the edge of the blade of your sword, when once again you'll be interacting not understanding with whom and not being clear as to why - you will remember what you actually want and need:

    Do you want your life to be brighter? Do you want for light to penetrate into the furthest reaches of your soul? Do you want to always have as much emotional energy as you need?
    -- Then you need the four-dimensional Fe that is present in EIE.

    Do you want your life to be flourishing and bustling with activity just in the right moments? And calm down only when it's actually needed? And finally, would you like to finally lose that feeling of "waiting for a terminus", without which there is no desire to do anything?
    -- Then you need the three-dimensional Ni that is present in EIE.

    Do you want to know about the state of your relations? Are you tired of untimely admissions and confessions? Do you want to be felt acutely and accurately?
    -- Then you need the three-dimensional Fi that is present in EIE.

    Do you slowly sort people out? Does this take up too much of your time?
    Do you want to never be betrayed and to get in trouble as rarely as possible?
    -- Then you need the four-dimensional Ne that is present in EIE.

    Do you like organizing and clarifying? Do you like to figure out causes? Do you want to do this regularly?
    -- Then your four-dimensional Ti is needed by EIE.

    Do you know how to put people in their place? Are you certain of your every word?
    Are you always ready to stand up for yourself and for people close to you?
    -- Then your three-dimensional Se is needed by EIE.

    Do you see deficiencies and flaws in other people's methods of achieving their goals?
    Can you explicitly specify the best method among those suggested to you?
    Are you one of the people who strive towards maximum efficiency?
    -- Then your four-dimensional Te is needed by EIE.

    Are you tired of people close to you complaining about you "constant control"? Do you always do what is needs to be done to create comfortable conditions? Do you want to care for others and receive their gratitude for it?
    -- Then your four-dimensional Si is needed by EIE.

    Particularities of interacting with EIEs - for LSIs.

    White Logic: Ti
    What is needed:
    * To be yourself - clarify and find out all the details and particularities, sort out and lay out all that is needed in EIE's head and his or her life. EIEs need this.
    Not needed:
    * Clarifying and sorting out what you haven't been asked to.

    Black sensing: Se
    What is needed:
    * Press ahead gently in any case when you are confident yourself (always do this).
    * Put the EIE in his place, in cases of:
    --- Inactivity, inaction.
    --- Over-the-top turbulent excess emotionalism.
    --- Prolonged negative emotional states.
    --- In situations when you have a wish to do so.
    Not needed:
    * Making the EIE take up your rules. Your rules are, in essence, just your own habits.
    In addition, there is high probability that the EIE him/herself will eventually, without noticing it, adopt your habits and behaviors as his/her own.

    Black logic: Te
    What is needed:
    * Critique of poor plans and suggested courses of actions of the EIE.
    * Point out the least effective courses and methods of proceeding.
    * Complement and praise the EIE when he/she tries hard over the role - earns a better income, gets better work - in which the EIE is often quite successful.
    Not needed:
    * Criticizing all of the possible courses of action of the EIE. One course will have to happen (or better two, as a back-up).

    White sensing: Si
    What is needed:
    * Take care of EIE every time you want to do it.
    ---Cover with warm covers, turn off the computer/television, close the window, etc.
    Not needed:
    * Taking everything in the household into your own hands.
    ---If the EIE wants to and can do something, let him/her do it. You will check on it anyways.
    * Do not hesitate to do give the EIE compliments when he/she has deserved them. This won't lessen your fortitude.
    * Do not hesitate to sympathize with the EIE, just come closer and pat him/her on the head like a child.

    Once again on the main or pitfalls and "underwater rocks" of life with EIE:

    Stubbornness.
    EIE is very stubborn. Convincing him/her needs to be done with help of Ti, trying to not use Se.
    Your every word already sounds confident after all - you cannot speak completely without volitional sensorics.
    Do not be afraid to sometimes concede to the EIE as a "carrot" - he/she will calm down and then do as you wish.

    Rules.
    In your household, there needs to be introduced a set of clear and fair rules.
    That were developed together with the EIE.
    Don't simply extend your own rules onto the EIE without taking into consideration the specifics of his/her own person.

    Actions.
    Purchasing property, taking out loans, questionable persons in your vicinity, and anything else - in all seek advice from the EIE, his/her -Ni will warn you about potentially troublesome developments of events.

    Freedom.
    Your EIE values and prizes his/her own freedom no less than you.
    Don't restrict him/her. Simply inspect, check upon his/her location and whereabouts - so that later you are ready to pull the EIE out of possible scrubs.

    Emotions.
    Use EIE's emotions on their intended purpose - as an almost inexhaustible source of energy for the activities/tasks/business to be "flaring up" in your hands.

    Trust.
    Beta is a fighting quadra. Soldiers don't abandon their own. Trust your EIE. Better check yourself rather than tormenting him/her with silent distrust.

    Paranoia (separate paragraph at the request of an EIE)
    EIE's quote: "We like LSIs!!! They should throw out of their heads any silly thoughts that EIEs for them - is something unattainable, that they aren't deserving of Hamlets, and so on. EIEs often have the same thoughts about LSIs. Let them know that EIEs and LSIs are worthy of each other!

    If you do not keep with these instructions, the probability of the following events becomes greatly multiplied.
    A) Withdrawal/departure of EIE from of your life.
    B) Deterioration of the quality of emotional energy.
    B) Decrease in the quantity of emotional energy.

    Conclusion.
    Love your EIE the way that he/she is. He/she is not weaker than you, just different from you.
    The EIE will never betray you and will never let you down, if you do not betray him or let him down.
    Trust your EIE and he/she will trust you. Never become wily and sly with him/her.
    He/she is your other half. Value and appreciate it.

    For those who did not believe this manual:
    Simply try it.
    Last edited by silke; 03-22-2016 at 09:59 PM. Reason: updated

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    Where is this from

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    ...Paranoia (separate paragraph at the request of an EIE)
    EIE's quote: "We like LSIs!!! They should throw out of their heads any silly thoughts that EIEs for them - is something unattainable, that they aren't deserving of Hamlets, and so on. EIEs often have the same thoughts about LSIs. Let them know that EIEs and LSIs are worthy of each other!
    Is paranoia common among LSIs? The three LSIs I could identify were suspicious beyond what seemed reasonable and had to check up on others multiple times. One has even installed hidden cameras without telling anyone else, which turned into a big scandal for him.

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