How to tell apart 1w9 sp/sx and 5w4 sp/sx?

[seriousguy]

I've been obsessively reading about different Enneagram types and trying to get my core type. I strongly relate to the descriptions of 1 and 5, including the core fear ("Of being corrupt/evil, defective" vs "Being useless, helpless, or incapable"). I am way too perfectionist for a 5, particularly about my health / physique and career, however, I am also extremely knowledge hunger and always reading things (at times again and again) without taking much action. I also have problems with nihilism, skepticism, isolation, etc. but I don't show it to other people (very stoic) and pretend nothing is happening inside (when I have strong disappointment about the outside world), thus I conceal my emotions a lot. I have strong underlying anger, but I rationalize it knowing that it won't affect anything positively, and only negatively in a long-run, though occasionally I lash out in anger. I know (intuitively) I have either strong 1 or 5 in my tritype, but I can't decide my core type, especially since (according to few resources I've read) self-preserving ones look like fives and sixes to the outside world (since they engage less to the outside world), and that might be true, as I am way too anxious (when thinking about the future, making plans, etc.) for a 1 (aren't 1w9 supposed be 'calm' and 'peaceful'?). I can relate to the fear of being worthless of 5, so I try to study every subject / topic from every angle / resources... sometimes obsessively, believing that I will need the information in the future (in case something goes wrong, as I don't rely on people less). My third tritype is most likely 4, as I get into bouts of depression, sometimes oversharing my personal life (only to confidants), and feel unique deep inside, though I don't actively try to be special or unique nor do I actively share my feeling through creative work.

[Muddy]

as I am way too anxious (when thinking about the future, making plans, etc.) for a 1 (aren't 1w9 supposed be 'calm' and 'peaceful'?).

Actually core 1s are probably the most anxious and OCD of the enneagram types. Peace and harmony for 1w9s is more of a goal rather then something that comes naturally for them, which is more the case for 9w1s.

[seriousguy]

Actually core 1s are probably the most anxious and OCD of the enneagram types. Peace and harmony for 1w9s is more of a goal rather then something that comes naturally for them, which is more the case for 9w1s.

I understand. I think anxiety / neurosis in me is coming from the unhealthy traits of 1. Unhealthy 5 wouldn't be so neurotic, especially perfectionists about their health. I can relate strongly with OCPD. Any other signs to know whether my core type is 1 or 5 or even 6? I certainly desire peace and harmony in the future, but it never happens.

[squark]

Actually core 1s are probably the most anxious and OCD of the enneagram types. Peace and harmony for 1w9s is more of a goal rather then something that comes naturally for them, which is more the case for 9w1s.

Anxious? No. Six gets that one hands down, followed maybe by four, idk. Tense or rigid would be more apt for 1s. (Tense as in still but holding tension in body. It's not an anxious state of mind, more like an alert, stubborn kind of thing)

[Muddy]

Anxious? No. Six gets that one hands down, followed maybe by four, idk. Tense or rigid would be more apt for 1s. (Tense as in still but holding tension in body. It's not an anxious state of mind, more like an alert, stubborn kind of thing)

I know anxiety is more of six thing and I was trying to think of another way to describe 1 other than anxious which I only settled with because my mind came up blank, so yeah, I guess tense works. In any case just not calm/relaxed, which is more 9 than 1.

[strrrng]

specifically with this instinct stacking they're both existentially cut off in a way... but the vector is different. with 1w9 it gets instinctively rooted and takes on this counter-id quality, where anger compiles as an almost externalized phenomenon and gets rigidified according to the judgments the individual assigns to it and its causes. but the 1 doesn't really smolder, just kind intensifies without moving. 5s are similar only their intensity possesses more of a strict detachment. it's like they're a scarce resource tenuously clinging to existence, with no real sense of direction. so they internalize more and more until some semblance of control is reached (a sort of inverse of the type of control 1 seeks). more of a directly id method here.

I've dealt with both types irl rather extensively and these differences are noticeable. my LSI-Ti 1w9 sp/sx grandfather is the most rigid person I've ever met. the 9 wing enhances his instinctive presence rather than softens the 'code' he imposes on his environment. you can never really define his boundaries, but you know never to come close to breaching them. my old Ni-ILI 5w4 sp/sx friend had a similar insularity, but felt a little more accessible (from an sx/so 4w3 pov) yet still strongly in control of her boundaries. with her it was more like anything goes (probably some democratic influence here) so long as you don't get too close, but the space was malleable depending on the individual's worth.

[seriousguy]

Anxious? No. Six gets that one hands down, followed maybe by four, idk. Tense or rigid would be more apt for 1s. (Tense as in still but holding tension in body. It's not an anxious state of mind, more like an alert, stubborn kind of thing)

I certainly have extremely tensed / rigid body due to underlying anger that built over time, which caused TMS (Tension Myositis Syndrome), but I also get anxious occasionally and don't think I have low activity in Norepinephrine, but then it could be coming from strong 5 in tritype, but I seem to agree that my core type is 1 (unfortunately the unhealthy one) and not 5 or 6.

[seriousguy]

I know anxiety is more of six thing and I was trying to think of another way to describe 1 other than anxious which I only settled with because my mind came up blank, so yeah, I guess tense works. In any case just not calm/relaxed, which is more 9 than 1.

I get anxious and restless when I am stressed, it could be due to disintegration of 9 wing to 6, or the strong 5 or 6 in my tritype. In normal situations, I feel more tensed than anxious.