Hi there, I've been struggling with my typing for weeks now, any help is greatly appreciated!
Member Questionnaire 1 (Teal)
What is beauty? What is love? Beauty is a subjective perception of an object's aesthetic value. Love is the feeling of deep connection shared between two objects capable of such feeling; anything beyond that definition is incredibly subjective and I cannot claim to know all about it.
What are your most important values? Do not, ever, under any circumstances, seriously betray your loved ones.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? I do not. I used to, but the more immersed I am in the scientific community (since starting University), the less I'm able to convince myself of the value and credibility of such beliefs.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? While I don't like war or the military, I realise there are many facets to this issue and I don't know enough to properly judge the topic.
Power is the ability to influence people; authority and respect. It's also standing your ground when you know you're right, and admitting to your mistakes when you weren't.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? I can have long conversations about science and interesting scientific concepts or facts; future; about analysing the behaviour of other people.
My main interest is science, mainly biology. I'm also keen on psychology and mythology, although not as much any more. I hate small talk.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? Interested in medicine if it involves fun facts about the workings of human body. Otherwise I'm not big on health talk, despite being a hypochondriac. I am focused on my body in that I try to be aware of it and make sure I catch the moment when I start to gain a bit too much weight, to stop myself from doing that. I also enjoy my food a lot. I do work out, but not really for the sake of my body, although that's a nice bonus.
What do you think of daily chores? I don't really mind. I'm able to enjoy those, and can be quite happy in a bit of routine. My mornings look exactly the same every day and I like it a lot. I don't really have daily chores though, apart from washing up, and I find it a rather pleasant task, with visible outcomes.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. Shadow of the Wind (Carlos Ruiz Zafón), Life of Pi (the book), some Herman Hesse stuff. Not been much into fiction lately. As for movies, I watched "Home" (a kids/teen animation) last night and liked it; Breakfast Club is great, I liked Boyhood, Jurassic World, God Bless America, Treasure Planet (animation), Dirty Dancing...
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? Kids animations often make me cry a bit. My eyes get wet at the airport when I say "see you later" to my SO, going away for a few weeks. I sometimes want to cry because of how much I love him (eww, I know, but he's the only person that's ever made me feel things properly). I once cried right after I passed my high-grade karate exam, which only 3 out of 15 people participating passed, and then right after I was told I graded, I saw my dad for the first time in months.
Things that make me smile include crude/rude jokes, when bad things happen to people I don't like, when people or animals slip, irony... there's quite a lot.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? With my SO and/or on my own. With animals. I used to feel that in my karate classes, where I very quickly got very good and rather respected, but I dropped them after I moved to another country and the level of classes there was nowhere near what I got accustomed to.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? Dealing with emotions in person, i.e. I don't know how to react when people hug me or tell me they like me and expect me to say something in return. I have no problem listening to them venting, I just don't like being forced to show my feelings. I don't really dislike much about myself, I've grown to like me. Maybe I would prefer it if I wasn't so quick to jump to conclusions when my SO or one of my very close friends acts in what I perceive as a distanced manner; I often assume it's my fault and get angry at them for not dealing with this and angry at myself; then it usually turns out they just had a bad day and didn't feel well.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? Straightforwardness. Intelligence. The ability to read between the lines. Good working ethic (high standards for myself).
In what areas of your life would you like help? Being more at ease in social situations; while not gregarious, I'm currently at a point where I don't really have any proximate close friends excluding my SO and I want to find a friend to keep some of the emotional weight off him + grant myself some more security in terms of my (low but still) social needs. I'm finding it really hard to make a good friend like that.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. I do like an occasional change. While generally very comfortable in my routines, after a while I get this nagging feeling of "do something new", and get a bit hyper-energised. I will usually then try and arrange for something novel to happen - go for a walk, get out on a trip somewhere, go to a club. This singular event will usually satiate the need. More usually, I will try and make some new meals for myself that I haven't tried before. Nothing too novel (I tend to know the ingredients so that I'm able to gauge whether I'll like it or not), but still.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I don't like superficial, lazy, irresponsible, judgemental/not-open-minded, intolerant, scared-of-being-true, unintelligent people. I like basically the opposite of that: clever, educated people with open minds, able and willing to engage in conversations about interesting things, who aren't scared to say what's on their mind and don't shy away from weird or eccentric.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? I am myself pretty traditional in that I believe that monogamy is the way to go for me. I also believe that once I get in a relationship with someone, I'm in it for the long haul. I see absolutely no difference between marriage and living together. Once I make the decision to be with somebody, I expect it to be for as long as possible, dealing together with any issues we might have, accepting all parts of each other. My partner has to be intelligent, fair, tolerant, responsible, respectful, able to keep up a conversation, honest, straightforward. I value their ability to challenge and stimulate me mentally quite a lot. They should also be loyal, dutiful and caring. They don't have have to tell me they love me all the time (although it is appreciated in certain quantities) - I care for their actions and behaviour more than their words in this regard.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? I would like to make sure that I'm able to instil in them a great curiosity for the world, and an inquisitive, discriminating mind. I would like them to be able to think for themselves, but also be kind and true to themselves. I would like them never to be scared to speak their mind, but evaluate their thoughts carefully before they do that. My main concerns would be that I wouldn't be able to provide enough emotional support to them, but I also now that realising this, I would remember about it and deal with it as appropriate.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? Depends on the kind of friend and the kind of belief. If it's something that I believe I've got the chance of changing their thoughts on, I would question them and discuss the issue, preferably using available evidence to back up my claims. If it's something that's very unlikely to change or doesn't have a clear right/wrong border to me, I will just let it go, as there is no point discussing it.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I think people are an enormous bundle of different outlooks to life and it's very hard to generalise. Despite this, I tend to think that most people are less intelligent, bold and "real" than me and my loved ones. I think one of the problems is that most people aren't really interested in what is right and are very selective with the information they allow into their life, only letting in the stuff that fits them. Also the fact that a huge majority of people doesn't want to take responsibility for anything.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? I'm quite strict when choosing my friends - I tend to do best with a very specific kind of people (some of the traits I've already discussed). I also tend to have very few relationships at once, and can't really sustain more than two close friendships at any given time. This is mostly due to the fact that I bond with people very closely, therefore wouldn't have time or energy to keep more friends than that. With my close friends I tend to be more sociable (they're usually the bridge between me and the rest of society - I wouldn't go to a party by myself, but I will go with them), more talkative, open, straightforward, silly/goofy. I'm very dedicated and loyal to my friends, but in most cases it's rather hard for me to talk about my feelings towards them. I've had friends that I'd do a lot for, just to later hear them say they thought that I actually don't like their company.
How do you behave around strangers? Depends on the situation. If it's complete strangers I'll tend to be rather outgoing, trying to get to know people, open them up a bit. Nothing too fancy, not the life-of-the-party kind of person, but just generally trying to be approachable. Despite this, I'm often viewed as kind of intimidating and unapproachable, although I can be quite charismatic in those situations; if I have to do a group projects in a group of strangers, with everybody having the same level of expertise, I can take the responsibility for pulling the group through the motions. I dislike incompetency and indecisiveness. With acquaintances that I know but have already realised they wouldn't make good friends, I tend to stay on the outside, not really participating much, or talking for that matter (as I said, I'm bad at small talk; or initiating conversations not in my field of interest).
Member Questionnaire (Teal)
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