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Thread: Ni, Fe, alcohol and the world we live in.

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    Default Ni, Fe, alcohol and the world we live in.

    I've always told myself that I liked and wanted to be surrounded by other poeple and that because I was so different I just couldn't fit in. But now I start realizing that the reason why I would always end up alone and lonely is because it is what I really want deep down.
    It's likeI love making other people feel good, it makes me feel better; but I can't stand them having an impact on me, even when it's positive. As soon as I start feeling like my well-being begins to depend on somedy else I start feeling bad. I want to feel good, but most of all I want to be the one making myself feel good. Does this sounds stupid? I'm starting to feel like I'm really selfish. Whenever I go out to parties I end up dancing with myself. It's weird because I enjoy partying with "friends" (or let's say people I know of), but as soon as I'm really drunk I just wish they weren't there. Dancing with them just starts feeling meaningless and even annoying, so I just set myself apart from the group and start dancing alone, like if nobody else was there. That's not it. I do like going to parties but I also like drinking alone in my room while listening to music thinking about a whole bunch of stuff. Most people find that to be weird; I don't know if I should agree with them or not. The worst thing about it is that once I am drunk, the feelig is very similar to the one that I exprerience when I dance alone surrounded by my mates. Maybe it is the same; all I know is that I like it.
    Do you guys think this is related to Ni, I think it is. It's like the only times my Ni isn't looked down upon is when I'm drunk, alone,listening to music and thinking. The outter wolrd and the people living in it just think of me as lazy, incapable of doing even the most simple things; and even I, when i'm sober, can get mad at myself for daydreaming.
    Despite all of that I'm still seen as a very social person, very funny and all that, but that's just because I constantly feel like I have to make the effort to be pleasant; whenever I'm not it feels like I'm not being myself. Seems like I'm cought in some typical IEI kind of blues lol. Has anyone experienced such feelings? Is there something I can work on in order to be "happier" when I'm being the social person that I feel like I have to be? I've never been dualized. Maybe it has something to do with this?

    I feel like I'm overthinking everything. Maybe I should stop caring and start accepting myself, my strenghts and my weaknesses; but how does one do that? I've read that a lot of INFP are E4. Do you think it has to do with the fact that NI is kind of looked down on in our society? How do you embrace your leading fonction when the people around you feel like it's weird and pretty damn useless? What use do you think Introverted Intuition can have for the common good?

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    there is no common good. maybe you add to the common good by doing what you like in that way. maybe you inspire people to do the same or plant the seed for them to do so at a future point in time
    unholy water sanguine addiction

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    You are describing a typical IEI.

    I know at least 11 of them in real life, so I have some experience with this.

    Globally, I think you feel out of place in this society because most societies do not need too many people with Ni/Fe, and so the feedback mechanism which governs how many of which type gets born does not produce many IEI's. (This same mechanism also makes LIE's scarce.) So, your type is very far from mainstream and you see almost no one outside either literature or psychology sites who is like yourself. It is not mysterious that you feel out of place. Just deal with it.

    Locally, you can either strive to understand your own particular strengths and weaknesses (there are a lot of sites by IEI's describing their special brand of snowflake, and how they deal with being tragically romantic and having an Ni-Ti loop. Here is one at random: http://pinkmanhattan.blogspot.com/20...o-on-isfp.html), or you can just bite the bullet of happiness and find yourself an SLE to hang out with. Your choice.

    Lest you think I am an unfeeling asshole who doesn't like IEI's (right and wrong), my favorite cousin, my favorite aunt, my sister's husband, one of my oldest and best friends, the guy who cuts my hair, my marriage counsellor, the mother of a woman I know and like, and two ex GF's are all IEI. I like them all. Was actually considering marriage to one IEI. So be careful.

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    You're probably describing ESTp behavior, not INFp behavior. "I love making people feel good" and you being the one to initiate emotionalism and being the source of such for the group is evidence of Fe Mobilizing. If you go to my GD thread on type descriptions from school of system Socionics, you can see how it manifests itself. IEI would end up reversing such with you, so that you could do as you describe but not end up alone.

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    I apologize for the lack of structure in my post due to the fact that half of my brain is already asleep but that I really want to answer this post right now despite the non-favorable circumstances.

    It’s funny to read about how you see yourself from the inside, wondering about what you can bring to the world when your value is obvious to me. It shows that you’re happier/more stable when you’re alone, in your own thoughts. I admire the way you always take some time to get out of your inner world to help someone deal with their life or just to be agreeable. In the name of the people around you, we can see and appreciate the effort lol. But don’t feel like you have to force yourself to be your Fe-cheery-smiley self because it makes no sense and also because the more honest the more valuable it is.

    From the outside you look self-assured, mysterious, calm, kind and funny and to me that’s completely enough to be a great person and to be considered as such? You’re good at being you and at doing what you do and it’s all that matter. You’re definitely one the of the wisest and saddest person I’ve got to know but also probably one of the nicest (and I mean it).



    Quote Originally Posted by YXPR View Post
    It's likeI love making other people feel good, it makes me feel better; but I can't stand them having an impact on me, even when it's positive
    Could you please expand on that ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by kalinoche View Post
    there is no common good. maybe you add to the common good by doing what you like in that way. maybe you inspire people to do the same or plant the seed for them to do so at a future point in time
    When I say common good I mean being useful to the society I live in now, not to future generations. I just wonder how the typical INFP "strenghts" can be useful to the poeple we are around so that they end up respecting what we have to offer. Even reading the INFP/ESTP duality description I kind of felt like the SLE brings a lot to the IEI and not the other way around. Are we just bound to be some kind of helpless victims who can't achieve anything? I have been looking at a lot of old threads regarding INFPs and even then, all I could see was IEI girls being cute and getting hit on by some internet guys. There's nothing wrong with that, actually I find that amusing; it's just that I've come to wonder if it's all IEIs are good at.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    You're probably describing ESTp behavior, not INFp behavior. "I love making people feel good" and you being the one to initiate emotionalism and being the source of such for the group is evidence of Fe Mobilizing. If you go to my GD thread on type descriptions from school of system Socionics, you can see how it manifests itself. IEI would end up reversing such with you, so that you could do as you describe but not end up alone.
    I'm not ESTP. I'm pretty sure I'm Ni dom, Fe creative, Se suggestive and Te polr. But maybe that's not what you meant; I'm not sure I understood right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Globally, I think you feel out of place in this society because most societies do not need too many people with Ni/Fe, and so the feedback mechanism which governs how many of which type gets born does not produce many IEI's. (This same mechanism also makes LIE's scarce.) So, your type is very far from mainstream and you see almost no one outside either literature or psychology sites who is like yourself. It is not mysterious that you feel out of place. Just deal with it.

    Locally, you can either strive to understand your own particular strengths and weaknesses (there are a lot of sites by IEI's describing their special brand of snowflake, and how they deal with being tragically romantic and having an Ni-Ti loop. Here is one at random: http://pinkmanhattan.blogspot.com/20...o-on-isfp.html), or you can just bite the bullet of happiness and find yourself an SLE to hang out with. Your choice.

    Lest you think I am an unfeeling asshole who doesn't like IEI's (right and wrong), my favorite cousin, my favorite aunt, my sister's husband, one of my oldest and best friends, the guy who cuts my hair, my marriage counsellor, the mother of a woman I know and like, and two ex GF's are all IEI. I like them all. Was actually considering marriage to one IEI. So be careful.
    Are you saying that I should accept the fact that I am useless? I don't know... I kind of feel like the only purpose in one's life is to contribute to the happiness of the people around him. Might sound stupid but I don't think I'll ever accept being of no use for anybody, it would just invalidate evething I am. I really hate not having Se nor Te in my ego.
    Is there any grown up INFP that can talk about how they finally came to fit in the society?

    Don't worry I don't think you're an unfeeling asshole lol. But I wonder, what do you like about all these IEIs? What do they have in common? I checked the blog you linked but I didn't find anythiing interresting.


    Quote Originally Posted by cldwlker View Post
    Itís funny to read about how you see yourself from the inside, wondering about what you can bring to the world when your value is obvious to me. It shows that youíre happier/more stable when youíre alone, in your own thoughts. I admire the way you always take some time to get out of your inner world to help someone deal with their life or just to be agreeable. In the name of the people around you, we can see and appreciate the effort lol. But donít feel like you have to force yourself to be your Fe-cheery-smiley self because it makes no sense and also because the more honest the more valuable it is.

    From the outside you look self-assured, mysterious, calm, kind and funny and to me thatís completely enough to be a great person and to be considered as such? Youíre good at being you and at doing what you do and itís all that matter. Youíre definitely one the of the wisest and saddest person Iíve got to know but also probably one of the nicest (and I mean it).




    Originally Posted by YXPR
    It's likeI love making other people feel good, it makes me feel better; but I can't stand them having an impact on me, even when it's positive



    Could you please expand on that ?
    I meant that I feel like I have to try not to let people affect me. I want to be the one fully in charge of my mood and of my well-being. I don't like when I'm faced to the fact that the way I feel depends on the poeple around me. I should be strong enough to simply choose to be happy.
    I really appreciate what you said though, I didn't expect that from you lol. You are an awesome person too; even though I can't say you are one of nicest I have met.

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    You display Fe and in such a way that you can't maintain relations. You're describing ESTp from my SSS type descriptions in general discussion. If you were IEI, you would be better than average using emotions to create relationships, not worse.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    You display Fe and in such a way that you can't maintain relations. You're describing ESTp from my SSS type descriptions in general discussion. If you were IEI, you would be better than average using emotions to create relationships, not worse.
    Unless it is Fe emoting to the detriment of strong but ultimately unvalued Fi (ethics of relation)?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hiketeia21 View Post
    Unless it is Fe emoting to the detriment of strong but ultimately unvalued Fi (ethics of relation)?
    He would be displaying 3D or 4D Fi, then, and wouldn't be oblivious to why people don't like him.

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