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Thread: approach to arguments

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default approach to arguments

    Can you recall the last argument that you were in? What was it about or over? When you argued what sort of things did you emphasize on? What made you change your tactics or approach, certain things they said or did?

    Let's say you ask a person to put a plate on the table and they continuously don't do it how do you start the attack and what sort of things do you say?

    I would say "I always ask you to put the plate on the table. It seems like you don't care about me enough to listen." only if the opposing person is cold about it but when they start to show emotion my responses will draw back. Especially when they start to show signs of about to go into a cry I feel like I've gone too far. When they have a poker face I feel like I'm not making any type of impact I'll keep going not being able to estimate their state.

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Let's say you ask a person to put a plate on the table and they continuously don't do it how do you start the attack and what sort of things do you say?
    I put the plate in their hands and say very loudly and distinctly, "PLATE." Then I walk them to the table, say, "TABLE," move their hands holding the plate down, and say "ON." Then I put the plate back where it was and suggest they try it without my help this time.

    If they fail, I repeat it. I probably have more patience than they do and they'll either end up embarrassed or with the task done.
    At least, that's how it works with SEIs.

    For arguments in general, I think I've moved away from the shouting and more toward the staring. Staring at someone who's performing a 1-sided argument is likely to make them sheepish, at which time one can give one's own arguments while they're hushed and focused on feeling awkward instead of on counterattacks. Not that I consistently accomplish this, but that's the idea.

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    The next time the SEI takes a plate and sees that Master Abbie has entered the room, they'd probably forget out of pure terror what to do with the plate. The plate would vibrate like a piano string in the SEI's hand as Master Abbie stares them down with cold blooded silence. "What did I tell you to do with that plate?" Master Abbie says with a low voice, her gaze steady and cold upon the SEI. .

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    I would say what the fuck is your problem and then throw the plate at their head.
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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Can you recall the last argument that you were in? What was it about or over? When you argued what sort of things did you emphasize on? What made you change your tactics or approach, certain things they said or did?
    No I can't actually. I know in general what I'm like when I have an arguement. I tend to have more forceful gestures, be more direct, ..

    I think generally speaking in arguements I'm usually orientated towards the other person rather than my own position, and I try to say things in a way that the other person can understand. Although when I don't know someone I tend to turn away a bit, curse under my breath, and hold back a little. I try to make sure the other party has some space behind them unobstructed, and to get their position. (people tend to back away a bit when argueing with me, and I'm ok with argueing with some distance, especially with people I don't know)

    I also don't like it when people fold their arms in arguements and just go defensive. I actually prefer usually to not be "face to face" too, and to create a bit of angle, to reduce intensity. But if someone else is initiating an arguement with me I'm with face to face.

    Let's say you ask a person to put a plate on the table and they continuously don't do it how do you start the attack and what sort of things do you say?
    I'd just say they're fucking useless and do it myself.


    I would say "I always ask you to put the plate on the table. It seems like you don't care about me enough to listen." only if the opposing person is cold about it but when they start to show emotion my responses will draw back. Especially when they start to show signs of about to go into a cry I feel like I've gone too far. When they have a poker face I feel like I'm not making any type of impact I'll keep going not being able to estimate their state.
    Blah blah.

    Who the fuck cries because they're asked to put a plate on the table? A four year old?

    Anyway this isn't something I'd really be keen to argue over. But I'd probably just ask nicely if I really wanted them to do it. Otherwise I'd probably phrase it more casually like "can you put plate on table?" giving people space to opt out. Actually I'd probably emphasize please if they were being a pansy. like "can you /please/ put the plate on the table", but with most people you can just be light.

    Anyway, if you're argueing about putting plates on table I think it's a sign there's something more disruptive in your personal relationship with that party. And you should probably have a talk with them. It maybe they feel like you've overlooked them in some other area or something, and are acting difficult just to annoy you.
    Last edited by Satan; 11-07-2015 at 10:51 AM.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I put the plate in their hands and say very loudly and distinctly, "PLATE." Then I walk them to the table, say, "TABLE," move their hands holding the plate down, and say "ON." Then I put the plate back where it was and suggest they try it without my help this time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    If they fail, I repeat it. I probably have more patience than they do and they'll either end up embarrassed or with the task done.
    At least, that's how it works with SEIs.

    For arguments in general, I think I've moved away from the shouting and more toward the staring. Staring at someone who's performing a 1-sided argument is likely to make them sheepish, at which time one can give one's own arguments while they're hushed and focused on feeling awkward instead of on counterattacks. Not that I consistently accomplish this, but that's the idea.
    Why this move?

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    Haikus
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    Let's say you ask a person to put a plate on the table and they continuously don't do it how do you start the attack and what sort of things do you say?

    This kinda thing has happened with me and my sister. If I'm mad, I will lose my temper, be nasty, use viscous ad hominem attacks. I can be very nasty and scary in an arguement. I go for the heart and break the soul. If they have neither, I harm their body so they can know what it feels like to be disrespected. I'm not at all objective polite. I might even throw things, use my physical strength. Completely dominate and subjugate the person. I loathe people with 'no Se' that can't do anything physical, that just live in their narcissistic head.

    I would say "I always ask you to put the plate on the table. It seems like you don't care about me enough to listen."


    I would Beta-ize it. I would say "You only care about yourself you fat narcissistic bitch." She will then shout ****** at me, and I will call her a breeder.


    Guess what, it's not worth it- the fat lazy bitch just won't do any housework. It's easy for me to just put the plate down myself. By not ever moving her body she is only hurting herself, although I do realize that not helping with boring and mundane chores is a sign of narcissistic personality disorder.

    Also it's just a fucking plate. I realize that. But then again it's the small things in life. Those small physical touches in life make life worth living for me. Not anything grand or narcissistic. I love my sister and just wish she would realize this- instead of reading all those spiritual books about some huge dramatic change. It will never work like that.


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    I've been waiting for you Satan's Avatar
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    damn bnd... you are vicious.

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