Do any other Se PoLRs relate? Do you have trouble coming to terms with your PoLR, fully 'accepting' it?
I hate to think of myself as 'weak' or passive. I feel like even though deep down there is some truth to it, I still cannot fully embrace it or come to terms with it. It could also be some enneagram type 9 stuff too. I'm about 80% confident of being type 9 now but it took me a long time to come to terms with accepting it as my base type. I just felt better about being a type 5 with a 9 fix but maybe I was just making an 'excuse.'
It's just that passivity really sucks as a personality trait. Passive people typically go underappreciated and get the short end of the stick. They don't stand out much, they don't seem very interesting. It's almost like in a way they aren't living their lives to the fullest because what they do is dictated by others too much. Maybe it's also because I'm from the United States which seems to embrace Se valuing and aggressive triad types, so I tend to devalue my gentle, mild demeanor. I would like to be more 'edgy' and 'out there.'
On the socionics Facebook group I was debating with some others about what Se PoLR is or isn't. I said Se PoLR isn't necessarily about being weak but hardly anyone sided with me on that. Someone said she personally saw Se PoLRs as rather weak and even though it was a subjective opinion I couldn't help but get offended. So that in itself makes myself 'weak', the fact that I care so much about someone's opinion.
Basically my argument is that Se PoLR can be very stubborn and strong minded in the right circumstances. LII will stand up to things that violate their principles or sense of justice. EII will stand up to things that they see as morally wrong. So I think in that sense they are strong- standing up for things that other types overlook or don't care enough to bother with. (This kind of gets into another topic, perhaps people tend to 'stand up' for the things pertaining to their base function because after all it is their 'foundation.')
I think the problem is when you have to use 'forceful' means to get your point across- make others do things, get them to do your bidding. Or in situations when others are putting alot of pressure on you, Se PoLRs are not going to be at their best. But I think in a situation where neither of these apply, the Se PoLR can be quite strong and resilient.
Of course people did not agree with that and it made me wonder if I'm just doing some wishful thinking, wanting to make my PoLR look better than it actually is. I just cannot fully come to terms with being a weak-willed wimp and I want to feel like there is some hope or some cases that are the exception. I want to be that exception. I want to beat the odds.