My girlfriend's type

[roastingmallows]

My girlfriend is an anomaly. We just finally agreed on her being an ENFJ in MBTI, though before I knew her well I thought ISFJ, and before she knew the system well, she thought INFP. ENFJ seems to fit well. She is 100% 3w2, so/sp. She tends to test IEE or EII on the socionics tests, with ILE a distant third option. Although I have considered that we may actually both be IEE, this seems unlikely to me. We get in a lot of disagreements that to me seem like a clash of Fe and Fi. But, I mostly know MBTI. She has yet to test as EIE like I believe her to be, but she says she finds the questions very confusing. She is in general not quite as aware of her inner thought processes as I am, and I wonder if her being an e3 is making things difficult. She is even more likely than most to answer questions based more on how she would LIKE to be seen as opposed to how she actually feels. I have a picture if it helps.

sb2.jpg

I'm going to try to get her to fill out a questionnaire, but I suspect she mostly humors me with this sort of thing and she may not have the patience.

Let me know if there is any more specific information that would help that I could tell you myself.

[rien]

I think it would be helpful if we had more details about the nature of your disagreements! I am also curious about what quiz questions she finds confusing.

[lynn]

well, just my impressions from the photo ... she has that fragile, refined EII look.

[Mega]

well, just my impressions from the photo ... she has that fragile, refined EII look.

Actually, some information about VI and regarding smile which would differentiate Fe and Fi valuing person would point that she's in fact Fe valuing.

Moreover she'd seem to be a sensor and not in an Se way.

SEI would fit IMO.

Just giving you hints, don't take my words as truths.

[Beautiful sky]

EII or ESE

[Beautiful sky]

I need more pics

[Mega]

I need more pics

At the bottom of each post, next to the "Reply" button, there's an "Edit" button, it's meant to be used

[Beautiful sky]

At the bottom of each post, next to the "Reply" button, there's an "Edit" button, it's meant to be used

You're mean

[Sol]

For typing close to normal she has to make videointerview. If she don't want, - give her couple of MBT tests - they are good for preferences.

[darya]

Well she sure as hell doesnt look 3w2.

[nondescript]

For typing close to normal she has to make videointerview. If she don't want, - give her couple of MBT tests - they are good for preferences.

VideoINTERVIEW? With whom or what?

[nondescript]

My girlfriend is an anomaly. We just finally agreed on her being an ENFJ in MBTI, though before I knew her well I thought ISFJ, and before she knew the system well, she thought INFP. ENFJ seems to fit well. She is 100% 3w2, so/sp. She tends to test IEE or EII on the socionics tests, with ILE a distant third option. Although I have considered that we may actually both be IEE, this seems unlikely to me. We get in a lot of disagreements that to me seem like a clash of Fe and Fi. But, I mostly know MBTI. She has yet to test as EIE like I believe her to be, but she says she finds the questions very confusing. She is in general not quite as aware of her inner thought processes as I am, and I wonder if her being an e3 is making things difficult. She is even more likely than most to answer questions based more on how she would LIKE to be seen as opposed to how she actually feels. I have a picture if it helps.

sb2.jpg

I'm going to try to get her to fill out a questionnaire, but I suspect she mostly humors me with this sort of thing and she may not have the patience.

Let me know if there is any more specific information that would help that I could tell you myself.

Can you give an example of " Fe < - > Fi clash "?

[DaftPunk]

Can you give an example of " Fe < - > Fi clash "?

just from the looks iee or sei or ile

[nondescript]

just from the looks iee or sei or ile

I'd agree with IxE. But I need more images.

[Beautiful sky]

just from the looks iee or sei or ile

She could turn out to be an introvert. Maybe she's just smiling for the camera

[roastingmallows]

Snap I didn't realize I actually had replies to this.

[roastingmallows]

So more pictures first...sb3.jpgsb4.jpgsb5.jpg

And a few of us side by side, especially since I am 99.9% positive I am IEE...sbnme.jpgsbnme2.jpgsbnme4.jpg

[roastingmallows]

As for our disagreements, we usually get on very well and have similar interests and goals, but every once in a while (especially when alcohol is involved, and we do love alcohol) we get in these rather explosive arguments about issues that are absurdly inconsequential. It's like we're not really arguing about the issue so much as we're trying to fight the others' cognitive processes entirely. That's when we have "logical" arguments, and in those situations it gets heated quickly because she feels I'm attacking her intellect. I consider myself a very objective thinker and tend to believe there is one right way, one correct definition, etc., and it should be fairly OBVIOUS. And she believes things are more open to interpretation. She often resorts to emotional manipulation in these sorts of arguments and just lashes out at me and attacks my whole character (saying that I think I'm better than everyone and can't stand to be wrong and what not). When we get into more "ethical" arguments, (which also happens a lot), I am more likely to actually get upset about it as well, whereas during the more logical arguments I think of it as more of a fun game/matching of wits and don't realize she's upset till she cries and starts throwing shit. During ethical arguments though, our issues tend to revolve around truth/harmony, and I am invariably on the side of truth. I feel the need to call people out when they are doing something that offends my very nature and she is more willing to let it go to avoid causing a scene. I know she is right to do so, but I just can't help myself sometimes.

One example of that: We live with my sister (probably SEI) and her husband (I believe IEI) and a few weeks ago, my gf and I were sitting on the couch playing video games or whatever and my sister comes in and says we need to clean up the kitchen and drops a hand written chore list in my lap. I get super pissed because she has no authority over me (and is in fact my younger sister) and I find it highly aggressive and nit picky to give me an actual list rather than just asking me nicely to clean up. My gf is trying to calm me down the whole time, and I start cleaning the kitchen loudly with my sister in the other room, reading off the instructions out loud and making sure my gf know we must do it exactly as it is written on the list because that is what we were told. Eventually my gf just says "You're an ass," and starts giving me dirty looks, clearly for my sister's benefit since she later told me she totally agreed with me and totally understood why I was mad. But to her it wasn't important that it was super rude and messed up, she just couldn't handle witnessing an argument, and in general has a weak stomach for disagreement. She has to keep the atmosphere of every room she enters friendly and light. I on the other hand don't mind a little conflict. With logical issues it's just fun, and with ethical issues I sometimes just can't hold it in any longer.

[roastingmallows]

To whoever said she doesn't look 3w2, I used to think she was 9w1 for the longest time and she agreed before she really understood the system and actually looked into it. She wants to appear as a 9w1 basically, though around certain people she acts very 7ish. What I'm saying is she is very hard to pinpoint because her every move and word is calculated to get a certain response, and she really only wants positive responses. Even her pictures could be misleading because she takes a picture a million times before letting anyone see it. She told me she is constantly monitoring her walk to look more confident, where I can't even walk a straight line and don't notice until I'm in the street.

She is very friendly and outgoing but some have said she is hard to connect with on a more personal level because she always says the right thing and never shows her less attractive side. I'm the only one who sees it LOL.

[roastingmallows]

She could turn out to be an introvert. Maybe she's just smiling for the camera

I don't really think so, and if anything I'd say she holds BACK her emotions for the camera for a nicer picture. I can't control my face like she can at all.

[roastingmallows]

I wouldn't be super surprised if she used Ne just because we never seem to have any issues with that, and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if she used Si either since she is FAR more concerned with aesthetics and comfort than I am. She is always impeccably dressed and tends to try and control the way I dress as well since as far as she's probably concerned I'm a bit of a fixer upper in the fashion department...aheh. She needs to be warm all the time, lights candles for no reason, will sleep with four pillows if I don't take half of them, really loves food and drink (though in that case I agree), is overly concerned with decor in my opinion...But a lot of that is because of image concerns. She has like this compulsion to seem put together all the time. And she is far more self disciplined than I am, but she's also not the MOST self-disciplined in the world.

So I was looking at intertype relations of quasi-identicals and they made an unfortunate amount of sense for our relationship. This hits very close to home: "These relations are characterized by the fact that living together or interacting closely it is virtually impossible to have serious fights. However, this type of relations gives rise to many smaller disputes which take up a lot of time and energy and are futile, but can last indefinitely. There is never a winner in these disputes. In this type of relations, it is impossible to prove anything to each other. When this type of relationship transpires between two ethical types, their lives will be full of stormy emotions and passion, while between two logical types these relations are more calm, but also full of of tension and insincerity."

I don't think either of us has ever admitted to being wrong. We just have to agree to try and respect each other's point of view more in the future. and this "There is a desire to understand your quasi-identical partner, to aid him, to provide him with your advice. His views and methods seem rather unusual and interesting. This inspires to many discussions and also disagreements, however, there is usually a desire to find a compromise. Upon closing of the distance, a minor quarrel can quickly upset these relations, especially when someone's personal interests have been threatened. Quasi-identical types often have the same sphere of interests but see things from different angles. There are difficulties in understanding and inability to acknowledge interests of one another."

[Beautiful sky]

She's very definitely an extrovert. SEE is possible.

[roastingmallows]

The two of us read about reinin's dichotomies together and a lot of them actually explain differences between us that we always knew were there but couldn't pinpoint or explain. One major example is static vs. dynamic. I would have a hard time explaining this without her actually telling me her side, but trust me. Also we are both very obviously obstinate. My opinion is that I would rather someone clear out my entire bank account than steal a single notebook of mine. She also isn't terribly attached to money or objects unless it is for image purposes, but she is somewhere closer to the middle on that one.

So, in conclusion for now, I believe she is EIE, but I am very much interested in outside input. The detailed descriptions of EIE actually sound way too dramatic in certain parts, but most of it sounds pretty good.

[roastingmallows]

@rien, @Lim, @Bluebird, @Mega, @Sol, @Starfall, @darya, @nondescript, @DaftPunk,

[roastingmallows]

I'm an extreme novice at VI but I could see SEI, SEE, EIE, IEE, maybe a tiny bit ILE but not really imo, or ESE. Not EII. I've never even really considered that she could be a sensor, though she certainly uses sensing more than I do, at least Si, probably Se as well.

[roastingmallows]

I'm looking more into ESE and that actually seems pretty likely to me now...I'm having no trouble dealing with it especially since ESE and EIE are apparently both Merry, obstinate and dynamic as well, so her connection to EIE in that sense is not an illusion.

I was looking at those portraits by Filatova and look at this: sb3.jpgnotsb.jpg The facial expression and even structure of face, eyebrows and eye size are uncannily similar, and that was from the ESE portraits.

[Beautiful sky]

yeah that was one of my original typing choices. Definitely would make sense if you are IEE. I'm very definite about ESFx

[nondescript]

I'm looking more into ESE and that actually seems pretty likely to me now...I'm having no trouble dealing with it especially since ESE and EIE are apparently both Merry, obstinate and dynamic as well, so her connection to EIE in that sense is not an illusion.

I was looking at those portraits by Filatova and look at this: sb3.jpgnotsb.jpg The facial expression and even structure of face, eyebrows and eye size are uncannily similar, and that was from the ESE portraits.

I change my opinion to ESE. She seems really soft and stuff.

[marooned]

*doesn't see many ESEs as "soft"*

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I don't really know about her type, but I have noticed something about lesbian couples. One of the lesbians will have earthly/grounded/real world-ish eyes (like your eyes) whereas the other lesbeoaaaahn will have like more spacey/dreamy/IEI-ish eyes. Not saying she's IEI. But it's just this trend I keep noticing.

[roastingmallows]

Would using Si make someone obsessed with tradition? Because she is really into holidays. She drools over the thought of carving a pumpkin or decorating a tree or making a pie, and I find it cute that she is into that but personally have no use for it as an adult. Like I can understand the appeal and might intend to celebrate a holiday but never get around to it and find the rituals tedious and pointless and less enjoyable than whatever sounds more appealing. Likewise she is really into going all in with halloween costumes (this halloween we did matching costumes, but she coordinated the whole thing. I just agreed to wear it.)

[roastingmallows]

I change my opinion to ESE. She seems really soft and stuff.

She is soft and not soft. Depending on the situation she will want to APPEAR to be, or not, depending on what would benefit her most. It's kind of interesting because she seems like a much nicer person than I am, but it is mostly an act and in reality I am the soft hearted, weak willed one and she can be surprisingly cold and unfeeling when she's being honest.

[roastingmallows]

I don't really know about her type, but I have noticed something about lesbian couples. One of the lesbians will have earthly/grounded/real world-ish eyes (like your eyes) whereas the other lesbeoaaaahn will have like more spacey/dreamy/IEI-ish eyes. Not saying she's IEI. But it's just this trend I keep noticing.

Well I don't know about all that, trendwise (mostly because I don't really associate with lesbians unless I'm romantically interested aheh), but I can kind of see what you are talking about when looking at our pictures. Which is ironic because in practice she is 1000x more pragmatic than I am and I am constantly zoned out and in my own world.

[Beautiful sky]

Would using Si make someone obsessed with tradition? Because she is really into holidays. She drools over the thought of carving a pumpkin or decorating a tree or making a pie, and I find it cute that she is into that but personally have no use for it as an adult. Like I can understand the appeal and might intend to celebrate a holiday but never get around to it and find the rituals tedious and pointless and less enjoyable than whatever sounds more appealing. Likewise she is really into going all in with halloween costumes (this halloween we did matching costumes, but she coordinated the whole thing. I just agreed to wear it.)

Lol my ESE sister talks about the turkey that way. And she decorates for all holidays but then so do other types. The drooling maybe more Si.

[roastingmallows]

I was reading the domains on wikisocion or EIE, IEE and ESE. I fully relate to the IEE stuff. I think my gf would be loathe to be associated with ESE's based on the actual writings of ESE's on there, and I'm sure she would rather be associated with the EIE's but is not actually so similar in a lot of ways. One thing is I am pretty sure that she is positivist not negativist. The EIE's seem to have more of a need to be unique and interesting where the ESE's are more conventional and want to appeal to a wider audience. I would say my gf displays more of a conventional image for sure, but would never want anyone to think she is as bouncy and ditzy as some of the ESE's seem...but then again, she is a highly educated, overachieving 3.

[roastingmallows]

Lol my ESE sister talks about the turkey that way. And she decorates for all holidays but then so do other types. The drooling maybe more Si.

Ha yeah, she is the same way about turkey as well. She has this fantasy about being the perfect homemaker with the perfectly decorated house who has all the best parties and hosts all the important dinners and everyone raves about her food and asks for her secret recipes. And her ideal self/life kind of feels like what I associate with ESE, but it's really more of a fantasy than a reality...Though she does make a great pie.