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Thread: Are These INFj Traits?

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    Default Are These INFj Traits?

    From meandering around various forums on the web over the last few months, the following seems to be things I
    keep hearing from INFj types:

    -- They want to me married to someone who works 150 hours a week and is never home.

    -- They are intolerant and judgmental toward people who they perceive as weak and lowly.

    -- They feel everyone's emotions

    -- They are perfectionistic and very demanding toward their significant others. They apply this perfectionism
    to themselves as well.

    -- They are inordinately worried about their physical and mental safety and seek to keep themselves behind
    a shield of sorts.

    -- They tend to lose interest in their relationships after about a year because they have high ideals for what
    a partner should be and they're ideals that can't be lived up to.

    -- They don't like being parents

    -- Despite all of that, they somehow make the best counselors and psychotherapists.

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    Moderator Reficulris's Avatar
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    All wrong or unnuanced.

    these seem to me to be the mbti stereotypes.

    i think eii have a high likelyhood of being highly perfectionistic. Thats the one id say is fairly accurate.

    collecting quotes from mbti sites might not give you the wisdom you seek...

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    Haikus Persephone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    From meandering around various forums on the web over the last few months, the following seems to be things I
    keep hearing from INFj types:
    INFJ like NiFe in MBTI? Or INFj like FiNe in socionics? Or maybe you are mixing something?

    -- They want to me married to someone who works 150 hours a week and is never home.
    NTR, maybe introverts need more space but that's it.

    -- They are intolerant and judgmental toward people who they perceive as weak and lowly.
    NTR, or maybe aristocratism but it goes for sensors/logical types as well.

    -- They feel everyone's emotions
    What? Expand?

    -- They are perfectionistic and very demanding toward their significant others. They apply this perfectionism
    to themselves as well.
    NTR, depends on what you mean by perfectionnism too. Any type can have high standards.

    -- They are inordinately worried about their physical and mental safety and seek to keep themselves behind
    a shield of sorts.
    NTR. What the fuck?

    -- They tend to lose interest in their relationships after about a year because they have high ideals for what
    a partner should be and they're ideals that can't be lived up to.
    NTR, anybody can move on after a year. Means the connection is not right or standards are not figured out before being involved in a relationship.

    -- They don't like being parents
    NTR, this can come out of personal issues. Logical types seem to be more reticent in reproduction.

    -- Despite all of that, they somehow make the best counselors and psychotherapists.
    Pfff... no. Just no.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    No

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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    They are perfectionistic and very demanding toward their significant others. They apply this perfectionism to themselves as well.
    from this and below - no

    best counselors and psychotherapists
    Laws are not strong region of ethical types. Public presentations are not strong region of Fi introverts.
    In psychotherapy - depends on kinds of pathology and methods to cure. How much they are based on their strong and valued functions.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    I keep seeing this idea that EIIs need to protect their inner-selves, that they're highly reluctant to share their values with people who they even highly trust. They apparently don't need/desire to share their feeling side with others (does Fi generally work like this?) Do EIIs here agree with this, or is this also very questionable?

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    I keep seeing this idea that EIIs need to protect their inner-selves, that they're highly reluctant to share their values with people who they even highly trust. They apparently don't need/desire to share their feeling side with others (does Fi generally work like this?) Do EIIs here agree with this, or is this also very questionable?
    I don't understand what you are saying. But I'll give it a shot. EII have inner emotional life that is highly emotional and diverse yet on the outside seem like unchanged emotionally. Fi is focused on moral values. I smile on things that affirms these strong values. For example if I see a child help a granny that is a moral value "help your elder" and it resonates with me and produces a good feeling. I definitely will take up the opportunity to put in my value judgement by saying "young man you SHOULD help granny" enforcing this is another story. I may instill values but unless you are ready to take them up in the program function it may not matter to you does that make sense

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    I don't understand what you are saying. But I'll give it a shot. EII have inner emotional life that is highly emotional and diverse yet on the outside seem like unchanged emotionally. Fi is focused on moral values. I smile on things that affirms these strong values. For example if I see a child help a granny that is a moral value "help your elder" and it resonates with me and produces a good feeling. I definitely will take up the opportunity to put in my value judgement by saying "young man you SHOULD help granny" enforcing this is another story. I may instill values but unless you are ready to take them up in the program function it may not matter to you does that make sense
    I'm not sure I quite understand either when I keep reading that they need to protect their inner-self. I interpret it as meaning something along the line that they have deeply held beliefs/ideas that they don't want criticised. It seems the answers here are fairly unanimous that a lot of these stereotypes about INFjs aren't as pronounced as they're made to be.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Maybe it's defensive approach to protect what conclusions EII thinks are right or wrong

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Ideas about things can become very dangerous and detrimental. Reading the way that EII will make their kids stay in bad relationship in the name of integrity of relationships to the point where it drives that child to sickness and dispare is another way of expression on a static function. That things don't seem like they are truly bad until circumstances are striking. I try to be conscious of My static functions to listen and hear others with more consideration. It's very hard not to impose my own judgement and order but I can't deny my natural self either.

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    -- They want to me married to someone who works 150 hours a week and is never home.
    work it harder make it better, do it faster makes us stronger, more than ever, hour after hour, deltas work is never over

    -- They are intolerant and judgmental toward people who they perceive as weak and lowly.
    I’m not quite sure of the exact context of ‚intolerant‘ ‚judgemental‘ and ‚weak‘ and ‚lowly‘. Here is what I think about it. I believe deep down, that you have to be very much your own person. I think that you have responsibility for yourself and your own life. You gotta pull yourself through things when they get difficult, because sure as hell nobody is going to help you with living your life. It’s this calming feel to know, that you are always going to have yourself and that you are always going to try for yourself. I think it’s so easy in this world to be made weak/vulnerable, to be under the thumb of somebody stronger, and if there is one thing, that I know for sure about myself, than it‘s the fact that I would hate and deeply resent sth. like that. Weakness, letting everything bleed out, that‘s just an impossible thought for me. I cannot just let anybody exploit it, let them impose their will onto me. But deep down I can accept weakness in myself. I can accept that it’s human and that it’s a part of me, realize that it’s ok to be weak sometimes. But I think somebody who cannot accept that under any circumstances, who can never accept anybody having power over them, who always needs to have the upper hand, that person will always hate and resent weakness in themselves. It can never be really part of what they are. They will always have to shove it away from them, prove themselves and others with their actions, that it’s not there. Denial. That's one aspect. The other is,that streghth is needed to get through life. Somebody could come to detest weakness for they had to be strong to carry on. But if it's still very much there inside them, then they might want to supress it. So if someone feels so strong a reaction against anything that’s weak the question is: do you hate, what you always try to suppress or deny in yourself?

    I'm not sure I quite understand either when I keep reading that they need to protect their inner-self. (I placed this here, because it somehow fits)
    I don’t know if I understand it right either, but I see it this way: I think it’s about boundaries and vulnerability. You can see it from the physical standpoint to understand it from the psychological one.

    Physical: I think everybody knows about the fact that every person has some sort of invisible space around them. Like strangers are only allowed to come close to you to a certain point during normal interaction, so that it’s normal and non threathening. People who are closer to you (parents, lovers) are allowed to come closer, without making you feel uneasy. It’s about protection. You don‘t trust somebody, so there should be space between you and them. You protect yourself physically. If somebody tries to intimidate someone, they cross that invisible boundary, they come closer without any consent. It’s body instinct on a deep level. When you feel uneasy, unsafe around someone, you tense up. You try to bring space between you and them. You feel the vulnerabilty of yourself physically. It makes me think about the scene in Eastern Promises in the baths. It’s such a poignant scene, because the character Nikolai is completely naked while being attacked. It gives you this feeling of vulnerabilty on a very deep level, nakedness is in essence being vulnerable. There was this part I read once, about some people in certain professions, who feel themselves to be comfortable naked. Like you can‘t be handicapped in a fight by being self conscious about it.

    Psychologically: Now if you think about it from the psychological angle, I took ‚their inner self‘ as an expression for something raw, deep, possibly very honest, that if they let it out can make them feel too open, too vulnerable psychologically, makes them feel exposed - naked. They set psychological boundaries. Ex. like during conversation, that there are things, that you don’t touch upon, a boundary you don’t cross. It creates psychological distance. The person might create this space/distance to protect themselves. Another way to look at it: Think of it like a house. There are rooms that are open for a lot of people, guests that visit, but there are rooms that are private, that maybe your husband or your sister are allowed to enter and then there are rooms, that only you are allowed to enter (if you wish to). I don‘t think that this is in any form something, that only a certain type experiences. I think that a lot of people have this, that not everybody that walks around, is allowed to take a good look in every corner of whatever is going on inside.

    -- They feel everyone's emotions
    Okay... it would be interesting to read what feeling everyones emotions exactly entails. What does feeling everyone emotion supposedly feels like? What is it what they are feeling when they feel ‚everyones emotion‘? What do I as a mortal human being miss out?

    -- Despite all of that, they somehow make the best counselors and psychotherapists.
    Okay... to sum it up, they have sky high expectations, that nobody is ever going to fulfill, keep themselves safe behind a shield and are resentful of weakness, but are now supposed to be the best in helping other people with their problems? The blind leading the blind, eh? Sounds legit.
    Last edited by Nymeria; 10-05-2015 at 06:36 PM.

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    I am a really good listener so people call me to vent about stuff and get advice

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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    From meandering around various forums on the web over the last few months, the following seems to be things I
    keep hearing from INFj types:

    -- They want to me married to someone who works 150 hours a week and is never home.

    -- They are intolerant and judgmental toward people who they perceive as weak and lowly.

    -- They feel everyone's emotions

    -- They are perfectionistic and very demanding toward their significant others. They apply this perfectionism
    to themselves as well.

    -- They are inordinately worried about their physical and mental safety and seek to keep themselves behind
    a shield of sorts.

    -- They tend to lose interest in their relationships after about a year because they have high ideals for what
    a partner should be and they're ideals that can't be lived up to.

    -- They don't like being parents

    -- Despite all of that, they somehow make the best counselors and psychotherapists.
    I don't agree with this nonesense, but yes I think they are INFJ traits -> If you wish to transfer INFJ to INFp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nevra View Post
    Psychologically: Now if you think about it from the psychological angle, I took ‚their inner self‘ as an expression for something raw, deep, possibly very honest, that if they let it out can make them feel too open, too vulnerable psychologically. You set psychological boundaries. I mean like during conversation, that there are things , that you don’t touch upon, a boundary you don’t cross. Or think of it like a house. There are rooms that are open for a lot of people, guests that visit, but there are rooms that are private, that maybe your husband or your sister are allowed to enter and then there are places, that only you are allowed to visit. I don‘t think that this is in any form something, that only a certain type experiences. I think that a lot of people have this, that not everybody that walks around, is allowed to take a good look in every corner of whatever is going inside. [/COLOR]
    I'm trying to imagine what the psychological effect would be of someone smashing through those closed doors and now suspect that it was probably an INFj that invented the phrase "shaken to the core." Perhaps the innermost hidden rooms contain your sense of self, how you define yourself, and those are aspects of yourself that won't be opened to scrutiny even to people you trust the most. I get the impression Fi operates a bit like that, that it's a function heavily interested in defining a sense of self. It's one of the reasons I've ruled out myself being an Fi type since I don't believe I have that strong sense of self (perhaps erroneously). Would INFj have a high tendency to say something like "I already understand myself well enough, there is nothing you could really add to it, and you'd just misunderstand me anyway."? I kind of get that vibe from them.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    I'm trying to imagine what the psychological effect would be of someone smashing through those closed doors and now suspect that it was probably an INFj that invented the phrase "shaken to the core." Perhaps the innermost hidden rooms contain your sense of self, how you define yourself, and those are aspects of yourself that won't be opened to scrutiny even to people you trust the most. I get the impression Fi operates a bit like that, that it's a function heavily interested in defining a sense of self. It's one of the reasons I've ruled out myself being an Fi type since I don't believe I have that strong sense of self (perhaps erroneously). Would INFj have a high tendency to say something like "I already understand myself well enough, there is nothing you could really add to it, and you'd just misunderstand me anyway."? I kind of get that vibe from them.
    I' ve only been shaken to the core when I've been hurt violently and deeply. That is when someone has directed formed a gang of human beings to verbally attack me and call me all manner of terrible things to subject me to silence. That's traumatic for me.

    So negative sensory overwhmed stimuli does this.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 10-03-2015 at 07:55 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    Perhaps the innermost hidden rooms contain your sense of self, how you define yourself, and those are aspects of yourself that won't be opened to scrutiny even to people you trust the most.
    That could very well be the case. But honestly could be a lot of other things too. Stuff you don't want to think about. Things you haven't realized about yourself yet. The field is vast. Maybe only the person in question is able to answer that for you and as you have said maybe they have decided that you are not going to get a look at it.

    I get the impression Fi operates a bit like that, that it's a function heavily interested in defining a sense of self. It's one of the reasons I've ruled out myself being an Fi type since I don't believe I have that strong sense of self (perhaps erroneously).
    That would actually open the door to the question what is a strong sense of self? Which would lead to another question: Is developing a strong sense of self related to any function? I personally don't think so.

    Would INFj have a high tendency to say something like "I already understand myself well enough, there is nothing you could really add to it, and you'd just misunderstand me anyway."? I kind of get that vibe from them.
    I wouldn't know about that. I think that most people hate it when someone starts making wild assumptions about them, without letting them setting things straight or hearing out what they have to say about the matter. Some people want to brood about their stuff alone, others don't give a fuck about introspection, but the majority I believe is not interested in somebody playing armchair psychologist. So your sentence or the gist of it could come out of the mouth of any type.

    I think what I wrote in that paragraph is something everyone can experience. It's not tied to any function/type for me.

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    From what I've observed of my best friend, who is an INFj, she exhibits traits like these:

    - Very moralistic, will always do what she thinks/feels is right. (She tells me she tries to emulate her mom, who is an INTp, so she tries to out-logic me a lot of the time. Doesn't pan out well.)

    - Wants everyone to get along and forgive one another despite clashing differences. (An example: Basically, after a bunch of shit went down with me, my ENFp friend, and an old unhealthy ESFj friend, the INFj tried to have our ENFp friend forgive the ESFj and be friends again. ENFp didn't want to, got in a fight with the INFj, and both parties left feeling upset.)

    - Sets high standards for herself in achievement. I.E. taking many difficult classes to build up a good academic record, participating in many plays and concerts for her flute group, having a strict exercise routine that she must fulfill every day or she won't feel good about herself.

    - Sometimes patronizing because of how focused they are on their personal feelings and views.

    - Can appear to be practical about her health, but will not take outside suggestions for her methods are the best way. And if those don't work, then she is screwed.

    - Martyr-like, very empathetic when connecting with others, great listener.

    - Will come up with multiple things to want and do, but be annoyingly indecisive about which route to go.

    - Will generally keep to self when hurt by something in order to avoid any kind of conflict, especially with people she cares deeply for. Can be passive-aggressive and explode after a long period of time when a form of conflict occurs and will beat you down with her sorrows and sympathies. Scary in those times, I swear. o.o

    - She is a damn hippy flower crown dawning fairy off in dreamland when not focused on what's right. *More joking than fact*

    There are my two cents of observation.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mallan View Post
    From what I've observed of my best friend, who is an INFj, she exhibits traits like these:

    - Very moralistic, will always do what she thinks/feels is right. (She tells me she tries to emulate her mom, who is an INTp, so she tries to out-logic me a lot of the time. Doesn't pan out well.)

    - Wants everyone to get along and forgive one another despite clashing differences. (An example: Basically, after a bunch of shit went down with me, my ENFp friend, and an old unhealthy ESFj friend, the INFj tried to have our ENFp friend forgive the ESFj and be friends again. ENFp didn't want to, got in a fight with the INFj, and both parties left feeling upset.)

    - Sets high standards for herself in achievement. I.E. taking many difficult classes to build up a good academic record, participating in many plays and concerts for her flute group, having a strict exercise routine that she must fulfill every day or she won't feel good about herself.

    - Sometimes patronizing because of how focused they are on their personal feelings and views.

    - Can appear to be practical about her health, but will not take outside suggestions for her methods are the best way. And if those don't work, then she is screwed.

    - Martyr-like, very empathetic when connecting with others, great listener.

    - Will come up with multiple things to want and do, but be annoyingly indecisive about which route to go.

    - Will generally keep to self when hurt by something in order to avoid any kind of conflict, especially with people she cares deeply for. Can be passive-aggressive and explode after a long period of time when a form of conflict occurs and will beat you down with her sorrows and sympathies. Scary in those times, I swear. o.o

    - She is a damn hippy flower crown dawning fairy off in dreamland when not focused on what's right. *More joking than fact*

    There are my two cents of observation.


    Me

    My mom is INTp too

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    In the ProChoice thread you can observe how I use the Ne creative function

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa pro choice
    Armenia as a culture is prochoice. That's how I've been raised that it's not necessarily a sin or a bad thing to terminate a pregnancy especially in cases where there's very little means of providing for the children that one brings to the world and in case of illnesses. Like an Armenian woman wouldn't think twice about terminating a pregnancy where she knew for certain that her child would be born with downs. That being said I think it's irresponsible to abandon children that are born prematurely developed or with disorders like down and cerebral palsy. My mom is Ultra Armenian Orthodox Christian so I have that half but my dad's family have English Protestant views largely inherited from my grandmother's side.

    Given all of this if I got pregnant I would have the child. If I got raped by some unholy act and savagery I would terminate that pregnancy in a heart beat because it didn't come from a good feeling a holy place and someone who I felt love for. I couldn't live with that choice.
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1131540


    Quote Originally Posted by IM
    The individual likes to apply his insights to specific situations and discussions. He grasps a generalized snapshot of the conversation capturing the essential information and then looks at how events, people, concepts, and things are related with each other. By spotting these similarities and analogies he hopes to find general trends, patterns, prevailing attitudes, universal rules and values of his environment and the people within it. He enjoys discussing alternative viewpoints, adding new tangents to a conversation. He provide examples and statements that are idealized and offer a hypothetical view of how things could be rather than how they already are. He does not pursue ideas or new opportunities merely for their own sake, but for their application to specific situations, questions and issues that he feels are important.
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...s-by-Functions
    @Sol this will help you type with blindfolds

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