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Thread: How do I attract and make SLEs/ESTps come to me?

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    Default How do I attract and make SLEs/ESTps come to me?

    How do I attract SLEs ... I don't seem to meet many and they are my duals. Should I just try to seem as doe-eyed and artsy as possible? Also if anybody could give me tips on recognizing them it would be much appreciated. I feel like with the one I know I am always the one initiating our hangouts which bothers me! But he doesn't seem to mind, but shouldn't he because he's technically the aggressor? - Thanks

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    Should I just try to seem as doe-eyed and artsy as possible?
    Yes and mumble to yourself, "I'm late. I'm late." while wearing a tight crop tee with IEI bedazzled across it.



    No, just be yourself.

    I just hang out with someone and over time the type just becomes apparent, unless they are wearing their "SLE" t-shirt. Your first impulse might be to type any macho aggressive freak SLE, resist this urge at all costs!

    Obviously I'm just teasing, except about being yourself. I will let the experts handle this. Good luck.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Learn to recognize them and take initiative in becoming acquainted with the ones that you really like. That's about all advice I can give.

    Duality works as a kind of back-and-forth mediatory process, ime, so dive into their habits and interests, else they will barely recognize you and try to make lt girlfriend of some ESI.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    Learn to recognize them and take initiative in becoming acquainted with the ones that you really like. That's about all advice I can give.

    Duality works as a kind of back-and-forth mediatory process, ime, so dive into their habits and interests, else they will barely recognize you and try to make lt girlfriend of some ESI.
    Interesting you mention ESI because most of my boy dramas, as a teen, were usually centered around ESI females wanting to kill me over some boy. Most of the boys were betas but also a couple gamma. I should have stayed home and played with my Barbies longer.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Be pretty and you'll attract attention. Of all types including SLE.
    To do something to attract in public place only a concrete type is hard.

    I don't seem to meet many and they are my duals.
    There may be several duals near you in any general place with many people like parks, streets, big shops, cinema, etc.
    If you'll come to where are interests of a concrete type - there will be more % of them.
    But your type may be other than INFP.

    Should I just try to seem as doe-eyed and artsy as possible?
    Do what is natural for you, what you like. Then "your people" will get most interest to you.

    Also if anybody could give me tips on recognizing them it would be much appreciated.
    Look at examples in the signature. Maybe you'll find tips for recognizing. The main "tip" I use - intuitive impression from a human, what feelings I get.

    But he doesn't seem to mind, but shouldn't he because he's technically the aggressor?
    If he's interested in you - sure, extravert should try to lead in organising hangouts. If not interested and has other motivation, the behavior may be other. Or he's not extravert and/or you are not introvert.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Fembot Olimpia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    Learn to recognize them and take initiative in becoming acquainted with the ones that you really like. That's about all advice I can give.

    Duality works as a kind of back-and-forth mediatory process, ime, so dive into their habits and interests, else they will barely recognize you and try to make lt girlfriend of some ESI.
    This is so true, haha!
    I have noticed with my own LSI cousin the need to tap into his ST interests (mostly cars haha) and habits to cross the bridge between NF and ST. Once that has happened, we will get along pretty easily and harmoniously and learn from each other in the process.

    Whenever you want to get closer to an ST as an NF, you most likely will have to go into the sphere of their interests and occupations; unless they have done the opposite and tried to get closer to the NF habitats themselves before. @summerprincess Read up on the Clubs and figure out what STs like to do in their free-time or as a career, and go somewhere that caters to it.

    Ideally, both parties will eventually start to adopt the other's viewpoint, and then meet half-way. The result would be a beautiful marriage of the ST and NF worlds.
    I am exaggerating, but I think you get my point.

    At last, I have noticed myself how often SLE will be attracted to ESI or SEI... These are like the top two types they usually seek out regularly. ESI is the flighty bird they cannot obtain and, it is like a moth to the flame situation. Whereas SEI is their (easy) wife material.

    Technically, the IEI would combine the aspects of both ESI and SEI the SLE is interested in...

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    Twerk!



    Wear mini skirts:



    show cleavage:


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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    Twerk!


    Wear mini skirts


    show cleavage
    This may make them come to you, but with the high risk they will not respect you or take you seriously.
    If you are fine with being a one-night stand, then do all of that, haha.

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    You don't have to try hard. Wear something pretty and feminine. Start a conversation with them ask about their interests. Talk about that you've wanted to adventure somewhere and watch them add and even volunteer to take you.

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    Be a modest dresser. They value decency and things of moral nature are in their conscious block.

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    Don't try to complete. There's an urgency to do so with dials if you're not dualized. The one up until we realize neither one will win

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    I was at a football game yesterday and saw a couple whom I really, really thought were an SLE-IEI dual pair. I asked them if I could take their picture (as future VI evidence) and they agreed. He had a bandana tight around his head, tied in the back, a beer in his hand, and was wearing his team colors. Definitely had the "I don't need no plan, bro, I'm just here for the excitement" look. She had long black hair and looked delicate and civilized and was showing some cleavage, but was also wearing team colors, although I've got to say, I would not have pictured her attending a football game alone out of interest in the stats.
    As I was taking their picture, I explained to them that they looked like a matched pair, according to a system that the Russians use to match cosmonauts on long space flights (Socionics, don't you know!), and it predicted a bunch of other things about them. Such as, that he was the most masculine of men (he grinned and showed crooked teeth), and she was the most feminine of women (she didn't smile a bit but brushed her long hair back over her shoulder - she had the "other men don't exist when my guy is with me" thing down perfectly), and that he was the sexual aggressor. He looked at me, pointed his beer at her and said "Well, man, actually, she is the one who usually starts things." She gave me a look like she was getting a little impatient with the convo, so I said thanks and I hoped they enjoyed the game, and off they went.
    As they walked toward the stadium, though, they were both holding hands and bouncing a bit more than they had when I first saw them, and then he slapped her on her ass, and they bounced along some more.

    Takeaway:
    They are probably duals, and are clearly happy with each other.
    She is attending his football games.
    He is doing his immediate thing, and she is watching out and attending to diplomacy and planning.
    In this particular case of duals, she has to initiate, but he has no problem with public displays of affection and showing everyone that she belongs to him.


    One other thing: I saw them park before the game, and she was driving a little red car and he was in the passenger seat. In my experience, people who drive red cars are genuinely friendly (strong Fe). I assume the car was hers because it was little and rounded, and I picture him driving a black pickup truck. But he wanted to drink (Se), so she probably insisted on driving her car, thereby demonstrating her foresight (Ni), which he probably appreciated, after he got past the idea of riding (not driving) in a little red car.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-27-2015 at 05:17 PM.

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    Jazz, Kisses, & Cigarettes Pink's Avatar
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    Just be yourself girl

    B e a u t i f u l S i l e n c e ・ 。☆・

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    actually talks to people about socionics irl, and is not a bad habit that you want to keep hidden from view
    smh tbh fam

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    One other thing: I saw them park before the game, and she was driving a little red car and he was in the passenger seat. In my experience, people who drive red cars are genuinely friendly (strong Fe).
    I have a little red sporty car. It is not my first.


    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    You know what they say on reddit:

    Step 1: Be Attractive
    Step 2: Don't be Unattractive


    In all seriousness, I think the best way a woman can attract SLE men is to treat them like a big baby who needs constant the praise and attention of others. Act like you are in awe whenever they brag or show off their physical abilities and they will give in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    lol, thanks for the laughs
    You're welcome. I guess.
    A guy told me last week that he saw this reference to Socionics and cosmonauts on wikipedia. Here it is below, fwiw, in case it gets edited out at the source:

    Socionics in astronautics

    In Yuri Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Center which located in Star City, Russia socionics methods are successfully used since 1992 for training Russian astronauts and international astronauts’ crews and preparing them to spaceflights. It is clear, that interpersonal issues and effective collaboration are extremely important in extreme conditions while working in a close space and are vital for successful spaceflight.[99] In Star City conducted number of science seminars based on socionics methods and person typology to training space crews. Problem of forming space crews by socionics methods was a central topic at the International conference on space researches,[100] at the Space forum 2011 and at the conference “Piloted flights into Space”, which were taken place in Star City and in The Russian Academy of Sciences, also these issues were taken a part in works of Doctor of medical science professor Bohdashevsky, Doctor of philosophy Bukalov A.V. and Doctor of philosophy Karpenko O.B.[101]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Whoobie77 View Post
    smh tbh fam
    I get the same reaction when I talk to some people about aliens or consciousness. I try to be careful and word things according to the beliefs of my audience. It is easier to do when talking about socionics than ellyans.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Muddytextures View Post
    You know what they say on reddit:

    Step 1: Be Attractive
    Step 2: Don't be Unattractive

    In all seriousness, I think the best way a woman can attract SLE men is to treat them like a big baby who needs constant the praise and attention of others. Act like you are in awe whenever they brag or show off their physical abilities and they will give in.
    Or this strategy works too if you can pull it off.



    FTR, I would not treat them like a big baby.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Or this strategy works too if you can pull it off.



    FTR, I would not treat them like a big baby.
    Wow, Aylen of the Red Car.
    The couple in your linked video look exactly like the couple whose picture I took. How many paths are linked in the Universe?

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    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    Are you looking to attract male or female SLE?

    The female SLE looks for signs of devotion and shyness, the male SLE looks for a bit of encouragement in the form of a bit of emotion and then they will chase you accordingly.

    Otherwise, just follow the standard procedure you would do to attract anyone.
    A male, lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    Yes I have seen it, I have also seen that there is no source we can check, and also, the article on Wikipedia socionics has almost been deleted on a few occasions due to some die hard believers with relentless editing on it.

    But if you think about it, Russia is spending millions or billions of rubles on their space program, you don't send people into space from a garage in an industrial estate. Do you really think they would use a cult unproven untestable theory to decide whom should push the boundary of long term space exploration?
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    Here is some further info: http://www.rocketryforum.com/showthr...a-lot-about-me If you read it, the person starts by calling Ashura a psychologist (she wasn't) then follows on by calling her a professor (she wasn't).

    I am beginning to wonder about the Gamma NT and their ability to apply critical thinking.
    Well, Gamma NT's care less about titles and more about what works. My ability to apply critical thinking is not the greatest in the socion (that would probably be the LII's or the LSI's), but I think my ability to apply sufficiently critical thinking to effective action is unexcelled. That ability also includes room for course corrections in the face of changing conditions which, if you think about it, would be hampered by strict adherence to a perfect theory.


    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    I seen something similar with user Jarno (INTp) on the drugs thread today. http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1104041
    I don't know, I thought @Jarno's advice was pretty good, which I interpreted as "try everything you can get your hands on, try not to die, and stop when you get bored or see something that is really dangerous." Good, practical advice from the quadra with the Pioneers in it.

    I think most of the astronauts are Gamma NT. Certainly most are first-born and are natural pioneers who are willing to travel to new places to seek new opportunities, which sounds LIE to me. We take risks, but calculated risks, and it is good to have LII and LSI backup, so yes, I think that an organization that has a lot of Gamma NT's in it might be willing to apply Socionics. We think a theory is good if it works 80% of the time. It doesn't have to be perfect.
    No one who is uncomfortable with uncertainty is going to get on a rocket built from 100,000 parts, all made by the lowest bidder.

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    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    Twerk!



    Wear mini skirts:

    show cleavage:

    It's the triple crown of moons tonight/tomorrow/depending on location. Blame it on the moon.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    I don't even think your story happened and I think the paths in the universe fall short with you because in a linked universe there is no hiding place for lying so it leaves you isolated there eventually.

    And this also means you don't do any favors to the thread making stuff up, try posting in the creative writing section instead.
    Well, I'd PM you their picture if I thought it would convince you, but I won't, since 1. they didn't give me permission to post it publicly (Aylen can have it, if she wants. Sorry, I trust her discretion more), and 2. I get the sense that seeing their picture would still not convince you. So, I'll have to remain a terrible liar in your eyes.
    On a final note, I am completely unable to write fiction. I've tried and failed miserably. I'm a much better reporter, and real life contains enough strange things so I don't have to make stuff up. I also find it too hard to remember what I've said, so it is best to simply report the truth (as I see it).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Well, I'd PM you their picture if I thought it would convince you, but I won't, since 1. they didn't give me permission to post it publicly (Aylen can have it, if she wants. Sorry, I trust her discretion more), and 2. I get the sense that seeing their picture would still not convince you. So, I'll have to remain a terrible liar in your eyes.
    On a final note, I am completely unable to write fiction. I've tried and failed miserably. I'm a much better reporter, and real life contains enough strange things so I don't have to make stuff up. I also find it too hard to remember what I've said, so it is best to simply report the truth (as I see it).
    I don't need it but thanks for the vote of confidence.



    I am feeding off the moon.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I get the same reaction when I talk to some people about aliens or consciousness. I try to be careful and word things according to the beliefs of my audience. It is easier to do when talking about socionics than ellyans.
    so is the blood moon/eclipse tonight a sign of the beginning of the satanic freemason illuminati apocalypse?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Whoobie77 View Post
    so is the blood moon/eclipse tonight a sign of the beginning of the satanic freemason illuminati apocalypse?




    One can only hope...

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    else they will barely recognize you and try to make lt girlfriend of some ESI.
    *so true*

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    *so true*
    Really? I think I'm somewhat more interesting than most ESIs but SLEs probably don't care..

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    Quote Originally Posted by summerprincess View Post
    Really? I think I'm somewhat more interesting than most ESIs but SLEs probably don't care..
    It's not that they don't care. (I'll bet they eventually care a lot.) Probably it is rather that they
    1. don't see the difference before it is too late, or
    2. don't know what they could have, because they don't know what's out there. So, get out there. And be more accepting, once you see the guy. They might only be able to get up the courage to try once, and if they don't find acceptance right away, they will move on to someone who will accept them.

    I told an SLE guy at work that I had met an IEI (a waitress) who looked like both a good social and psychological match for him, and he should talk to her. So, that weekend, he approached her and she told him to get lost. The next week, I asked him how it went, and he said she has other plans (she told me she was single, had a small kid, and was looking), but there is a hot girl at the gym he likes, and he shows me her picture (and guess which type a girl at the gym is likely to be?).

    SLE's may eventually find you more interesting, but they need to immediately find you more accepting.
    You need to save the "hitting them with a rolled up newspaper" until they've tried to crawl into your lap for the fifth time that day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    It's not that they don't care. (I'll bet they eventually care a lot.) Probably it is rather that they
    1. don't see the difference before it is too late, or
    2. don't know what they could have, because they don't know what's out there. So, get out there. And be more accepting, once you see the guy. They might only be able to get up the courage to try once, and if they don't find acceptance right away, they will move on to someone who will accept them.

    (...)

    SLE's may eventually find you more interesting, but they need to immediately find you more accepting.
    I can confirm that: SLEs do need to observe a hint of interest, especially the Ti subtype. (Eye contact is often enough; a smile even better.) It could be a matter of being Fi PoLR – a weakness when it comes to assessing someone's emotional relation to them. That's how SEE can be greater flirts and womanizers; they are much more flexible and manipulative with their Creative Fi. SLE are still Logical types who feel a little bit of a strain when trying to move proficiently in the area of relationships.

    Having said that, an SLE does not need overt signs of interest (esp. when Se subtype). Given their Dual is a Victim type, they are expecting of a girl to hold back at first and wait for being convinced/taken by a certain measure of "force". Also, the IEI tends to be "nice" even when turning someone down, because of their Creative Fe. They dislike causing negative emotional upheaval. So, when a girl shoots an SLE down unforgivingly harsh, the SLE will quickly turn away and move on. Likely because such a treatment often indicates a lack of Fe valuing, more in favour of categorical Fi dismissal.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    You need to save the "hitting them with a rolled up newspaper" until they've tried to crawl into your lap for the fifth time that day.
    This sounds more like something an ILE would do in the need of being taken care of.
    SLE is not really someone who desperately desires to crawl into someone's lap, they want to remain some sort of dignity and find such behavior pathetic.
    They would only do it if they were already close with the person, sure of their respect for them, and likely experiencing a moment of emotional weakness.

  33. #33
    Jazz, Kisses, & Cigarettes Pink's Avatar
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    I'm an IEI who likes to go to the gym..

    B e a u t i f u l S i l e n c e ・ 。☆・

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    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    This sounds more like something an ILE would do in the need of being taken care of.
    I didn't say why they were crawling into your lap.

    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    SLE is not really someone who desperately desires to crawl into someone's lap, they want to remain some sort of dignity and find such behavior pathetic.
    They would only do it if they were already close with the person, sure of their respect for them, and likely experiencing a moment of emotional weakness.
    Agreed. That is the sense I get from them, too.
    I live and learn.

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    Fembot Olimpia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I didn't say why they were crawling into your lap.
    Haha alright.
    Well, the way you worded it before just made me think of a more Childlike lap crawling, hahaha.
    As in, "Mommy, please comfort me."
    Not the Aggressor kind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zien View Post
    I am beginning to wonder about the Gamma NT and their ability to apply critical thinking. I seen something similar with user Jarno (INTp) on the drugs thread today. http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1104041
    You refer to the study that I showed. I will elaborate on my motivation: I was not critical thinking, i was just taking a shortcut, based on common sense! The study seems reliable. We can endlessly discuss on what are better criteria then they used, but why would we. And you and I are probably not better experts that the people who did the study, right?

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by summerprincess View Post
    Really? I think I'm somewhat more interesting than most ESIs but SLEs probably don't care..
    aw.

    i dunno, i've just seen the SLE/ESI combo around. my ESI friends happen to be super interesting, but probably still an awful choice for an SLE. i dunno... talk to them lots until it sticks? they might be endeared by your efforts. it's so easy for me to be friends with SLEs, they basically like people who are a bit quiet, smile a lot, and look helpless

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    dugga dugga dun Narc's Avatar
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    Hang out in shitty nightclubs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    aw.

    i dunno, i've just seen the SLE/ESI combo around. my ESI friends happen to be super interesting, but probably still an awful choice for an SLE. i dunno... talk to them lots until it sticks? they might be endeared by your efforts. it's so easy for me to be friends with SLEs, they basically like people who are a bit quiet, smile a lot, and look helpless
    Oops, accidentally I clicked on "constructive" for this post, but I wanted to "like" it. >_<

    Yeah, I have observed the same, haha. ESI and IEI can look very similar on the outside, especially because both have got the same "Sincere" Communication Style, they both value Se, both can appear shy, both tend to be elegant, and the ESI can appear Victim:
    [Aggressors] [c]an have a very victim-like look using indirect methods to control others and turning aggressive when they refuse to submit.
    I suppose the same applies to the SEI, who can also appear very similar to an IEI based on most of the same reasons.
    All in all, it really could be simply a numbers' game. More ESI and SEI girls around, more ESI/SEI-SLE couples.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Narc View Post
    Hang out in shitty nightclubs.
    Haha! I know of an SLE-IEI couple that met in a nightclub. xD

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