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Thread: Are dual relations really great?

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    Simo's Avatar
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    Default Are dual relations really great?

    Personally I don't think I know any SEE in real life and based on my understanding of types I can see why would I like to be in relation with one
    but I also feel like staying to long with SEE would make me tried, I mean they are energetic and outgoing and party animals whereas to me too much social gatherings and parties are really draining
    and I don't see why would they be interested in someone as boring as me
    So what do you think?

    Also, I would appreciate if you can tell me how to identify SEE, if you can list of movies/animes that have SEEs, that would be great

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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    Well you won't know unless you try!

    The thing is about dual relationships is sometimes you overlook each other because your interests are so different so the chance of encountering one is less than some other types of relations.

    Dual is overall the most compatible relationship in socionics but there are many non-socionics factors affecting relationships too. So duality is not a guarantee of success but it's more probable.


    The character Naruto is almost certainly a SEE
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    When your dual is equally cognizant of their role yes

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    You'll know when you've met a SEE when she licks you across the face and you willingly allow her to drag you off into the deepest levels of the social sphere. I'm about 99% certain my first gf was a SEE and that's pretty much how our first meeting played out when we were in a swimming pool together. I'll sum up things about our relationship and her personality, although they probably aren't all necessarily SEE related:

    1. She wasn't really the romantic-dater type even though she could certainly play that game and enjoyed going out. She liked to go clubbing which surprised me a bit because I always thought of clubs as being places where you go to find a gf/bf. She just liked going to dance and socialize. She was physical, she will force you to be physical with her, and it might get tiresome sometimes, but you will enjoy the spontaneous attention. You will also feel a bit of relief when she wants to go out with her friends so you can have alone time to yourself. I found her very trustworthy, you have to respect their need to socialize with others and you probably naturally will. Despite what everyone says, SEE is actually not disloyal, they will go to hell and back with you and probably enjoy it. They will put pressure on you to do things, but you need that pressure, I do. You won't really have to worry about being the one who has to always figure out everything to do, SEE is pretty good at doing that themselves and then dragging you along,

    2. Sex maniac. She wanted to do it absolutely everywhere including in the bathroom at friend's houses, etc. We were barely past being teenagers though, older SEEs would probably be a bit different. They'll be initiators a lot of the time, when they want something they're usually forward about it which you will like.

    3. She was religious, but didn't mind me criticising and probing her religious beliefs. You will probably get the impression that she doesn't take you very serious on these sorts of things, and in a way, you will like that because it means you can say whatever you want and usually get some surprising responses. She will be playful with you regarding such things, will ask you to ask her more questions, etc. This was my favorite part about her, they really do allow you to speak your mind regardless of how insulting or horrendous you can be.

    4. She LOVED small children. Even a 4 year old to her was a "baby." "Look at that cute baby." She had her future children all named.

    5. They're good with fashion. She would sometimes want to go to clothing stores and help me pick out new clothes for some occasion. She knew how to dress to impress. It'll make you feel good when they spice you up, like you actually look presentable to the world or something.

    6. She'll have a number of friends that don't like you and will tell her that she should dump you. This happened to me, probably a bunch of ESFjs and ISFps. She'll just ignore them though or defend you against them.

    7. Despite what everyone says, they are very tolerant on giving you your space and also like to spend a lot of time with you just one on one.

    8. Don't underestimate their intelligence. She will likely be a lot more street smart than you, she will know how to pull and push the levers to extract things out of people and will be business minded. She will also sometimes playfully make fun of you if you have nerdy interests, but will often take the conversations in directions you might not expect. For instance, if the tv news starts talking about nuclear power plants, she might suddenly want to know more about nuclear power plants. This is the time to be a true INTp, let your vast stores of knowledge come flowing out like a gushing river that is no longer dammed up.

    9. You will love her.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Lol you know it's yours when you lick it

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    Duals are inseparable. I am still deeply saddened by our recent split..

    I'm more than just an option
    (hey, hey, hey)
    Refuse to be forgotten
    (hey, hey, hey)
    I took a chance with my heart
    (hey, hey, hey)
    And I feel it taking over

    I better find your lovin'
    I better find your heart
    I better find your lovin'
    I better find your heart
    I better find your lovin'
    I better find your heart
    I bet if I give all my love
    Then nothing's gonna tear us apart

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    Quote Originally Posted by chips and underwear View Post
    Well you won't know unless you try!

    The thing is about dual relationships is sometimes you overlook each other because your interests are so different so the chance of encountering one is less than some other types of relations.

    Dual is overall the most compatible relationship in socionics but there are many non-socionics factors affecting relationships too. So duality is not a guarantee of success but it's more probable.
    yeah I think the non-socionics factors are more important, things like shared dreams and values can keep the relationship alive more than compatibility
    and to start with it is not like you can control your heart and fall in love with someone after you made sure he/she is your dual

    The character Naruto is almost certainly a SEE
    I will pretend I didn't read this

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    Quote Originally Posted by uncivilized View Post
    You'll know when you've met a SEE when she licks you across the face and you willingly allow her to drag you off into the deepest levels of the social sphere. I'm about 99% certain my first gf was a SEE and that's pretty much how our first meeting played out when we were in a swimming pool together. I'll sum up things about our relationship and her personality, although they probably aren't all necessarily SEE related:

    1. She wasn't really the romantic-dater type even though she could certainly play that game and enjoyed going out. She liked to go clubbing which surprised me a bit because I always thought of clubs as being places where you go to find a gf/bf. She just liked going to dance and socialize. She was physical, she will force you to be physical with her, and it might get tiresome sometimes, but you will enjoy the spontaneous attention. You will also feel a bit of relief when she wants to go out with her friends so you can have alone time to yourself. I found her very trustworthy, you have to respect their need to socialize with others and you probably naturally will. Despite what everyone says, SEE is actually not disloyal, they will go to hell and back with you and probably enjoy it. They will put pressure on you to do things, but you need that pressure, I do. You won't really have to worry about being the one who has to always figure out everything to do, SEE is pretty good at doing that themselves and then dragging you along,

    2. Sex maniac. She wanted to do it absolutely everywhere including in the bathroom at friend's houses, etc. We were barely past being teenagers though, older SEEs would probably be a bit different. They'll be initiators a lot of the time, when they want something they're usually forward about it which you will like.

    3. She was religious, but didn't mind me criticising and probing her religious beliefs. You will probably get the impression that she doesn't take you very serious on these sorts of things, and in a way, you will like that because it means you can say whatever you want and usually get some surprising responses. She will be playful with you regarding such things, will ask you to ask her more questions, etc. This was my favorite part about her, they really do allow you to speak your mind regardless of how insulting or horrendous you can be.

    4. She LOVED small children. Even a 4 year old to her was a "baby." "Look at that cute baby." She had her future children all named.

    5. They're good with fashion. She would sometimes want to go to clothing stores and help me pick out new clothes for some occasion. She knew how to dress to impress. It'll make you feel good when they spice you up, like you actually look presentable to the world or something.

    6. She'll have a number of friends that don't like you and will tell her that she should dump you. This happened to me, probably a bunch of ESFjs and ISFps. She'll just ignore them though or defend you against them.

    7. Despite what everyone says, they are very tolerant on giving you your space and also like to spend a lot of time with you just one on one.

    8. Don't underestimate their intelligence. She will likely be a lot more street smart than you, she will know how to pull and push the levers to extract things out of people and will be business minded. She will also sometimes playfully make fun of you if you have nerdy interests, but will often take the conversations in directions you might not expect. For instance, if the tv news starts talking about nuclear power plants, she might suddenly want to know more about nuclear power plants. This is the time to be a true INTp, let your vast stores of knowledge come flowing out like a gushing river that is no longer dammed up.

    9. You will love her.
    That is really helpful thanks

    and about "you willingly allow her to drag you" this really reminded me of a childhood friend I had when I was around 6 years old
    whenever she noticed me she would come and drag me to play with her, and I willingly allowed her to drag me, honestly I liked her attention < it was the best childhood days
    but my family moved and we didn't meet after that

    I wouldn't say she was SEE for sure but definitely she was Se dom

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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    Duals are inseparable. I am still deeply saddened by our recent split..
    if duals are inseparable, then how come you split?

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    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    Duals are inseparable?...... We are talking about humans... Humans are not inseparable. I've dated crappy duals (mean, manipulative) and I've date pretty cool ones who I felt understood me in a way others didn't and vice versa (and didn't work out for nonsocionics related reasons).

    My close SEE friends (all 3 do not know each other) aren't super social... They are more so than me but SEE doesn't automatically = loud, party animal. Imo they're fairly easy to talk to about anything.

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    Idk I often can't tell if people are my duals or my conflictors to be honest. I feel like the people I tend to click more easily with are ESFp, ISFp, ENFj, and INFj. (I'm thinking solely as friends though) And probably my own type but I haven't met any of those yet....that I know of ...

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    They're great in that it's easy and natural to let down your guard and just be yourself. My best friend is my dual (ILI) and our relationship is not perfect, but it's great because I feel completely comfortable around him and I sense he feels the same. Sure, he can be annoying, be patronizing with all good intentions, and a hypocrite, but who isn't? I, on the other hand, can be demanding, confrontational, and abrasive, and will call him out on bull shit and later admit being too aggressive, being ungrateful, and so on. But I know he truly cares about me and that his love for me is genuine. We both believe in the goodness in the other and support each other.

    The comfort and trust is honestly hard to recognize, initially, but when I compare my relations with people of other types to my relation with my best friend and a few other ILIs who became very close friends (and many still are good friends in spite of time and distance), I realize that element of trust and comfort is missing in all other relations. Only in relations of duality can I completely drop my guard (contrary to stereotypes, I am emotionally guarded and don't trust people easily but, alternatively, can read people well and am quick to grasp a person's overall character). Only with my duals can I feel completely safe and protected. Even when either of us does or says something problematic, it's very hard to get so angry that the relationship suffers.
    Life's a bitch and she's got me pussy whipped.

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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    It's mostly for communication purposes. It's easier to communicate with your dual, reveal awkward things and keep the conversation going effortlessly - open communication is vital to a good relationship. There's also the perk that they tend to like/be good at doing things you hate/suck at.

    Quote Originally Posted by Simo View Post
    I also feel like staying to long with SEE would make me tried, I mean they are energetic and outgoing and party animals whereas to me too much social gatherings and parties are really draining
    My dual tires me out, but then he goes off and does his thing and I stay in and we hang out afterwards.

    Quote Originally Posted by Simo View Post
    and I don't see why would they be interested in someone as boring as me
    That's how I felt... but it turns out he felt the same way about me, so that worked out well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    They have more chances to be great among other IR.

    Quote Originally Posted by Simo View Post
    I don't see why would they be interested in someone as boring as me
    Dual gives sympathy. You like cats? Are they useful? Similar thing. While duals not only give good feelings, but may be useful in deals too. They perceive the world from other side - important side for you where you are weak and want help from others.

    Also, I would appreciate if you can tell me how to identify SEE, if you can list of movies/animes that have SEEs, that would be great
    Identifying types is in bad condition in Jung's typology as everybody mostly identify same people to different types. You may improve your typing skills by typing people around you and checking how then they fit to the theory. Types examples are in my signature.
    In average every type is 1/16 of people. When you walk on a street, in a big shop, other general places with many people - there may be several duals near you. The best way to identify people is intuitive impressions from nonverbal behavior as it's fast and can be correct enough. Some (not all) of these duals may be interesting and attractive as type is only one of factors wich are important. And sometimes you'll identify types wrong and hence may don't get expected feelings.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simo View Post
    yeah I think the non-socionics factors are more important, things like shared dreams and values can keep the relationship alive more than compatibility
    I would say equally important, not "more important".


    and to start with it is not like you can control your heart and fall in love with someone after you made sure he/she is your dual
    Well, if they are your dual and you happen to fall in love too then great

    You don't have to fall in love with every attractive dual you meet lol

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    My mom is ILI and she would say exactly the same thing as @Shayne about SEE. The reality is that extroverts can't always run on high fuel. They too need to relax and talk to someone who processes info a certain way. When you have that it becomes relaxing and very nice so naturally you want that person around to be a sounding board and support.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shay View Post
    I think the only true statement of interacting with the type SEE from my perspective that was included in the first post is that they can particularly when young, wish to engage in too many social gatherings. This in turn can at times upset the ILI who thinks that the SEE is not thinking about or prioritising their perspective and therefor not really taking them into account. Over the course of time however this rectifies and they certainly do have much desire for one on one time which only increases as the years go by.

    In my opinion the SEE so long as not a depressed one, finds the ILI, so no real need to go searching. They will want to marry you, make a family and grow old together. Besides a little unconscious flirting with others on occasions they are a very faithful partner to the ILI.

    You can find the SEE doing soloist sports or one on one sports long term more than team sports. I think this may be because they are quite competitive with others even their teammates.

    When young they can be found at church groups, family events, carnivals/theme parks. Some male ones in particular like to watch or read science fiction and fantasy as it gives them a future to imagine but they more like it with a moral story attached than an action focus. They may also like animated movies, big screens and latest toys. Many do not like alcohol, smoking or drug taking environments with people they don't know well so don't expect to find too many there, I think this falls into being outside of their friendship and safety net contacts and they are often religious in nature.

    They will sexually be quite full on particularly when young and often have a high confidence in their bodies in the bedroom department which is most attractive to the ILI.
    They are difficult for the ILI to resist romantically or when they apologise or desire something.

    They have much success in the areas that they wish to succeed in especially when young and in the business arena and I very much admire this about them.
    The males dress quite normal - nothing exciting or unique really but tidy. They can wear suits when needed for work etc but take them off fairly asap.
    @Eliza Thomason this is a really great description of ILI and SEE duality
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 10-16-2015 at 06:45 PM.

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