Originally Posted by
Bertrand
yeah I think it is how certain mate-seeking behavior I used to find repugnant is just the particular siren song of that dyad, and it can't help but appeal to the dual partner despite themselves in many ways (although it is no guarantor of anything). I used to wonder why that behavior just seemed to be symptomatic of the people involved just not bettering themselves and thus relying on tactics that kept them "low", i.e.: creepy old men hitting on low self esteem women, seemed like it would just create a vicious cycle wherein they both, if they got what they wanted, just had the wrong lessons reinforced. And then I realized this may be the only way these people ever reproduce and that a lot of my disdain was a complex of looking down, when I should have appreciated better what they stand to gain by remaining on precisely that level. I was expecting them to elevate themselves on a more Ne level and that's not their mode of existence and the world needs precisely these types of people at certain times in order to facilitate the development of the species and so forth. Otherwise certain situations would double bind these people and they wouldn't be able to achieve anything at all, and thats unfair of me to expect them to just "die" in that sense. The thing is this expectation just makes oneself bitter, because they don't really understand how the world works, because you end up hating people instead of loving them, despite thinking you want "the best" for them. One is only imposing one's personal definition of the best, and then becoming jaded when no one is following suit, and that bitterness transforms itself into hate for the world, when the goal was always to love it and want good for them. It is in some sense the problem of over idealism leading to the best being the enemy of good, and its the judger is primarily the one who loses out...