I think intensity can often be expressed in private or internally so maybe the right term might be "strong personality". I can't deny that, sometimes, I sort of have that "people love me or hate me" thing going on, which baffles me because I don't hate people. Sometimes I hate their actions but not the person. Some people who have claimed to hate me never even talked to me.
Maybe I should say people understand me or misunderstand me. I think that is better. I get a lot of attention in groups even when I would rather be left alone. Maybe because I am more into expressing myself than explaining myself. I am trying to be more mindful of my words and how they might be taken but that feels so suffocating.
I don't like it when some people are not included or even pushed out and I feel for them so I want them to feel they belong. That could be because I never feel like I truly belong and I am projecting. Perhaps they could care less if they are included, in the core group, within the group, but if I like them and made a connection I want them there. I have had conflict with delta friends by bringing an "outsider" into the core. Having a lot of empathy sucks sometimes and leaves me feeling like I am between a rock and a hard place.
That is why I would rather stay home than go to a party or club and sit there miserable. I can be miserable all by myself and it feels better that way. I recently checked in with an old group I was a part of and everyone started pm-ing me and were shocked to see I was back. Some thought I was dead. :/ I had people I don't even remember telling me they thought of me often. I have not even responded to some of the messages because they made it sound like we had a personal relationship and asked about my family. I don't remember talking to them privately.
I think I used to write a lot of my insights in that group and some people felt like they knew me but it is more one-sided since I don't think they shared as much as I did.
I have an IEE sx/so friend and she is totally delightful to be around.
When the two of us were together we stirred things up but it was always her who would realize that we were going "too far" and she would reign me in. She has never been single either, until recently, (I don't imagine she will be long) but she had a child and all that sx energy is being directed toward raising a socially aware and responsible little human being, who will change the planet and take care of it. It is like a complete turn around from how she was. I knew our friendship would change when she had kids but I didn't realize how much. She still indulges in previous interests, when she can, but now the child comes first, which is how it should be, but I lack the mothering gene or maybe it has been modified. I don't know.
I think she may be a 368 in enneagram but used to think she was a 7 or 9 because of some of her behavior. She has a "strong personality" and tests ENFP in MBTI. I have not told her about socionics yet but IEE is most probable.
If she were a core 4 and beta she would probably be terrifying. She is very charming and I fell in love with her, in a friendly way, the first time we met and she did with me. She even asked me to take in her last bf when she broke up with him (she still loves him to this day but not romantically) and he stayed with my family, a few months, while he got himself together.
She gets very sad and sincerely worries for me when I go through troubling times because she knows I can be more volatile and self destructive than her. She was very happy to hear I had gone through intense therapy after my last fiasco. I have had years of therapy on and off but this time feels different somehow. I think it will stick.
Inquisitive and direct 3. This is the most provocative and loyal 3. A true debater, this is the most industrious, rebellious and anti-authoritarian 3. A natural leader and justice fighter, this 3 can be mistaken for an 8. The core fears are of failure, being incapable or unable to do, inefficient, being second best, unmasked, fear itself, danger, being alone, cowardice, submitting, deviance, uncertainty, being targeted, chaos, weakness, being controlled, disempowered, humiliated, being vulnerable, and being at the mercy of injustice.