Written by an NF. I was surprised at how they prioritized relationship values (STs take note!) and how high they ranked typological compatibility in their blog post.


1. Worldview, values, spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof!). Shared core values and religious/spiritual beliefs make a huge difference in dating and marriage relationships, so it’s important to be on the same page here. Also, just because you have the same faith, doesn’t mean that you will agree on how it should be expressed and what it means to live out those values. It can look radically different depending on the individual! Even if you’re both atheists or agnostics, it helps to talk about your personal values and worldviews, especially if you want to have children – because it has dramatic implications for how you raise and parent them.

2. Personality type. This could include Myers-Briggs, Enneagram type, Enneagram instincts, etc. There are a number of other ways of approaching personality compatibility, including the Five Factor model (used by many dating websites), the Multiple Intelligences, and the Four Temperaments. I think that each of these theories has merit, and provides a slightly different angle that’s worth considering. However, always keep in mind that what one person considers to be an “ideal match” according to personality theory may not be right for you as an individual. Some matches may be better on average, but every situation is slightly different. What personality theories do give you is an insight into the most likely areas of potential conflict or challenges, so you can enter the relationship with your eyes open and be prepared.

3. Future goals and plans. Most people would agree that it helps to share the same vision and dreams for your life when you enter into a serious dating relationship. Of course, you may not find out everything you need to know immediately – so there’s no need to interrogate someone on a first date! Yet it makes a real difference whether someone wants to live overseas in the future, whether they aim to work in a career that is very demanding (e.g. a doctor, lawyer, etc) or whether they want to have children. Not only that, keep in mind that people’s goals and plans may change, so being with someone who has a similar outlook on life means it’s more likely that these changes won’t pose a threat to the relationship.

points 4-10 @ http://www.feelingintuitive.com/unca...der-in-dating/