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Thread: What's their type and what does it say about me that I like them profoundly?

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    Default What's their type and what does it say about me that I like them profoundly?

    This goes around on fb right now and it click-baited me into watching it.

    http://elitedaily.com/news/exes-aske...video/1199994/

    What are your opinions about their types, and why?

    what does it say about me that I like them and would want to cuddle them and reassure them?!

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Narc trait guy with co-dependent girl, revisiting their bullcrap for mutual entertainment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    what does it say about me that I like them and would want to cuddle them and reassure them?!
    idk, you have a much different response than me, i find them incredibly uncomfortable to watch.

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    The girl seems very EIE, but maybe also IEE at a second glance. I'm not sure what the guy is, probably ISTx. ENFx and ISTx are my bets.
    Last edited by Muddy; 09-04-2015 at 06:47 AM.

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    Really cannot relate because when I am with someone I ask all these questions so that there are no doubts in my mind left sitting there. I actually have to difficult conversations and I can say things that might be uncomfortable to say (and hear).

    Fwiw these two seem very delta. This last point is not related to me first one.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    She is some ethical not sure. He just first impressions is gabin.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    she - ISFP(?), he - ENTP(?)
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Wow, they are so cuteeee! <3

    I liked the video (only watched the 1st because I think the 2nd will make me cringe) and I thought that it was way better than actors. I thought it was the best "couple" talk scene I had ever seen, that's so cool!
    Thanks Refi the giraffe

    edit: I fucking watched the 2nd video, it's so cool.
    Last edited by Mega; 09-03-2015 at 11:07 PM.




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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I think both extroverts. I did the main analysis just watching their cringe worthy micros, evasiveness and pity mixed in with glee and euphoria.

    LIE and IEE

    Guy is low empathy, narcissistic traits, and says a lot of things to manipulated/sound nice. He doesn't really mean it.

    The whole I could marry you right now in insincere and strange her response of saying yes if he proposed is also insincere.

    Girl is co-dependent spectrum. It starts off, "Why did you cheat on me so many times?" Important part is "so many times". He's like, "I didn't really cheat on you too.."

    This goes off into her best memory which is them having a rough time and her with a friend and then him coming over with the aforementioned insincere comment.

    He doesn't even remember this......

    I will dissect this more but this is more funny from how bad it is than how cute it is. Both are insincere extroverts who use each other to validate themselves and the crap they do, and this whole exercise is sort of them just being extroverts.

    All in all kind of harmless but the whole exchange is more a dog and pony show for the both of them to get their rocks off. They both sort of cackle gleefully if you look at their micros in between kind of stoic dead eyed emptiness for the guy and pity seeking for the girl.

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    Hmmm yeah at first I thought the guy was SLI but I can see the case for LIE. Seems like typical benefit relation where it is all flowers and roses at first then they inevitably get sick of each other after awhile.

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    I like them both. I think the girl is IEE and the guy is awkward but I think he's LIE.

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    Guy is gross and douche extraordinaire (not necessarily because of cheating, just his slimy metro demeanor combined with inflated ego)... girl is sad and pathetic, but lovable at the same time. They should stay far away from each other.

    The types...she seems IEE, him probably LIE.

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    girl looks like florence welch n also like she could have written her songs
    unholy water sanguine addiction

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    This goes around on fb right now and it click-baited me into watching it.

    http://elitedaily.com/news/exes-aske...video/1199994/

    What are your opinions about their types, and why?

    what does it say about me that I like them and would want to cuddle them and reassure them?!
    That guy is totally gross. Everything he says is for some reason or the other. I don't think he really meant what he said at the end of part II. I think that he'd return to her, only to use her physically(or whatever). The guy could be large volume salesman lol.

    Now about her...when she started smiling and doing faces and stuff...she immediately reminded me of Pam from The Office(US). Soft, tender, expressionate as all hell. I liked her more, she actually seemed as if she felt and believed into this and the whole relationship etc. Which would explain why'd she fall down for a sleazebag like that...guy.

    I have to return to him. It's not like he has any confidence either. He is just calculating to the maximum. No holds barred yo! 15 minutes is not enough to get a good estimate, but...he is a part of the "scum of the earth" movement, what can I say? And what's with the apparel? He looks like a cheap playboy. If you want to look like a playboy...go for it! But don't stop halfway! I really, but really don't like him. He gave me a very bad vibe. Oh and he is an extrovert 1 / 1 .

    Their types?

    Sleazebag: ESTp(I remember reading on CelebrityTypes that SLE's do think like that: "There's many ways to tell a thing" and about uses of people, situations etc) OR ENTj
    Girl: FeSi in any combination(SEI or ESE). NO WAY on IEE. Most likely ESE. She is REALLY expressive.

    That puts them into benefit relationship as well. Just saying...

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    I think its the micros between ex lovers because they have shared experiences with each others. Not necessarily a negative thing. I see her as IEE as well.

    He calls her flaky, he says she acts like a baby sometimes, I just don't see SEI as flaky. Maybe IEE, but not SEI/ESE. She even admits she is flaky.

    They start arguing close to the end, its just a no-go for sure.

    Paddling down the river of Fi...

    She calls him arrogant because he acts like he knows it all. He states, "sometimes you give me another chance...and I battle inside whether I think that was a right choice for you to make or a wrong choice for you to make". What he is saying is that in some way he doesn't respect her for being so forgiving and accepting. Which of course given her nature, she couldn't help but re-accept him. Several ethical types are very forgiving for people they love. I think though that he was looking to be reprimanded. I think this because her first question was why did you cheat on me so many times and it was as if this was the first time that question had ever been asked...that's important I believe, as he has an actual proper answer to her and actually seems to be willing to get into detail about it. "Well it was not more then once and never intercourse".

    A sort of more black and white Fi.

    This shows that in a sense he felt he could get away with it and PERHAPS he needed someone with sterner reactions towards it as it was happening. That she never confronted him with her list of hurts and feelings about pointed questions about it until now tells me that they are in a "close, but no cigar inter-type loop". Its for this reason that he flip-flopped on his feelings about whether or not she made the right choice towards him for forgiving him. In actuality, he wanted more black and white thinking, a person who was more reactionary, maybe even someone who was openly jealous, not someone who was receptively hurt, a person expecting proper treatment in an unspoken way.

    I don't see them having any psychological pathologies such as narcism, or co-dependancies. Their personalities, actions and relationship fall with in the normal parts of the spectrum in my view. Its easy and even lazy to brush off peoples behaviour as mental abnormalities. What they went through seems pretty much normal and not unusual in the least for two people who had a relationship that didn't quite work out for the above mentioned reasons.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    That guy is totally gross. Everything he says is for some reason or the other. I don't think he really meant what he said at the end of part II. I think that he'd return to her, only to use her physically(or whatever). The guy could be large volume salesman lol.

    Now about her...when she started smiling and doing faces and stuff...she immediately reminded me of Pam from The Office(US). Soft, tender, expressionate as all hell. I liked her more, she actually seemed as if she felt and believed into this and the whole relationship etc. Which would explain why'd she fall down for a sleazebag like that...guy.
    The reason why she went for this sleazebag is because she gets off on being hurt by this individual. In between her looks of pity and "Why am I hurting", she shows some unexpected glee. She did the whole cycle of letting him cheat and getting back together many times, and imo this is simply her pattern of abuse seeking which is due to some reason. He's has the exact kind of low empathy invulnerable narcissism that's like honey for her wants.

    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    I have to return to him. It's not like he has any confidence either. He is just calculating to the maximum. No holds barred yo! 15 minutes is not enough to get a good estimate, but...he is a part of the "scum of the earth" movement, what can I say? And what's with the apparel? He looks like a cheap playboy. If you want to look like a playboy...go for it! But don't stop halfway! I really, but really don't like him. He gave me a very bad vibe. Oh and he is an extrovert 1 / 1 .

    Their types?

    Sleazebag: ESTp(I remember reading on CelebrityTypes that SLE's do think like that: "There's many ways to tell a thing" and about uses of people, situations etc) OR ENTj
    Girl: FeSi in any combination(SEI or ESE). NO WAY on IEE. Most likely ESE. She is REALLY expressive.

    That puts them into benefit relationship as well. Just saying...
    He's just low empathy, but I seriously doubt he's SLE. When he talks about how he values the little traditions she and him shared this clearly places them in the Fi/Te quadra values imo and the very face they're exposing this part of their relationship to public view is extremely Fi oriented. Fe types tend to be different with how they present their relationships and it's more image conscious. IEE's are Fe 4d types and are quite expressive, if there's a type she's similar to it's Lena Dunham, who happen to write a show about this exact sort of self-flagellating female on her show Girls. This video is getting buzz for the same reason Girls gets buzz, there's a lot of people that can relate to this sort of behavior and experience, it's very mundane commonplace and such. Putting nice production value on it doesn't make it any less squirmy to observe or make these individuals any less trope.

    A SLE would be absolutely allergic to this sort of navel gazing Fi discussion, this video is like PoLR hit every scene for a SLE, they would just walk out or never participate in something like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post

    but I seriously doubt he's SLE. When he talks about how he values the little traditions she and him shared this clearly places them in the Fi/Te quadra values imo and the very face they're exposing this part of their relationship to public view is extremely Fi oriented. Fe types tend to be different with how they present their relationships and it's more image conscious. IEE's are Fe 4d types and are quite expressive, if there's a type she's similar to it's Lena Dunham, who happen to write a show about this exact sort of self-flagellating female on her show Girls. This video is getting buzz for the same reason Girls gets buzz, there's a lot of people that can relate to this sort of behavior and experience, it's very mundane commonplace and such. Putting nice production value on it doesn't make it any less squirmy to observe or make these individuals any less trope.

    A SLE would be absolutely allergic to this sort of navel gazing Fi discussion, this video is like PoLR hit every scene for a SLE.

    The quote are the part of our post that I agree with.

    I agree this is a Fi sort of discussion and this sort of talk is very common throughout the lives of Fi valuers. That its happening all at once and much later after it ended tells me that the styles of Fi for these two was very "off".
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    The reason why she went for this sleazebag is because she gets off on being hurt by this individual. In between her looks of pity and "Why am I hurting", she shows some unexpected glee. She did the whole cycle of letting him cheat and getting back together many times, and imo this is simply her pattern of abuse seeking which is due to some reason. He's has the exact kind of low empathy invulnerable narcissism that's like honey for her wants.



    He's just low empathy, but I seriously doubt he's SLE. When he talks about how he values the little traditions she and him shared this clearly places them in the Fi/Te quadra values imo and the very face they're exposing this part of their relationship to public view is extremely Fi oriented. Fe types tend to be different with how they present their relationships and it's more image conscious. IEE's are Fe 4d types and are quite expressive, if there's a type she's similar to it's Lena Dunham, who happen to write a show about this exact sort of self-flagellating female on her show Girls. This video is getting buzz for the same reason Girls gets buzz, there's a lot of people that can relate to this sort of behavior and experience, it's very mundane commonplace and such. Putting nice production value on it doesn't make it any less squirmy to observe or make these individuals any less trope.

    A SLE would be absolutely allergic to this sort of navel gazing Fi discussion, this video is like PoLR hit every scene for a SLE, they would just walk out or never participate in something like this.
    So...LIE and...IEE? Yeah, I could buy 4D subconscious Fe.

    Then why the fuck did I call my supposed dual a sleazebag? Tbh, I already had clashes with LIE and if you ask me, they're the scum of the Earth. So calculating and so "smart" in oh so arrogant way. Which doesn't mean I'm not an ESI...it could mean that Aušra's whole system is a LIE! Why would any ESI want to be with such a guy??? Because of money? What are we? Whores? Fuck that stupid not-even-Russian bitch! And her throng of LII followers.

    ...now this video polarised me...AGAIN!

    I'd just like to know what @Sol thinks of these two.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    The quote are the part of our post that I agree with.

    I agree this is a Fi sort of discussion and this sort of talk is very common throughout the lives of Fi valuers. That its happening all at once and much later after it ended tells me that the styles of Fi for these two was very "off".
    But I don't even see the point in this kind of melodramatic jerkoff. Why? Just why? If you want to be again with someone, JUST SAY IT. If you get rejected...well, at least you tried. I'd personally just do a smart move and not say anything and continue with my pleasurable life. If I notice someone interesting(or she notices me whatever)...cool. But why this crap?

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    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    That guy is totally gross. Everything he says is for some reason or the other. I don't think he really meant what he said at the end of part II. I think that he'd return to her, only to use her physically(or whatever). The guy could be large volume salesman lol.

    Now about her...when she started smiling and doing faces and stuff...she immediately reminded me of Pam from The Office(US). Soft, tender, expressionate as all hell. I liked her more, she actually seemed as if she felt and believed into this and the whole relationship etc. Which would explain why'd she fall down for a sleazebag like that...guy.

    I have to return to him. It's not like he has any confidence either. He is just calculating to the maximum. No holds barred yo! 15 minutes is not enough to get a good estimate, but...he is a part of the "scum of the earth" movement, what can I say? And what's with the apparel? He looks like a cheap playboy. If you want to look like a playboy...go for it! But don't stop halfway! I really, but really don't like him. He gave me a very bad vibe. Oh and he is an extrovert 1 / 1 .

    Their types?

    Sleazebag: ESTp(I remember reading on CelebrityTypes that SLE's do think like that: "There's many ways to tell a thing" and about uses of people, situations etc) OR ENTj
    Girl: FeSi in any combination(SEI or ESE). NO WAY on IEE. Most likely ESE. She is REALLY expressive.

    That puts them into benefit relationship as well. Just saying...
    Stop making a scene out of everything and being so fucking judgmental, start using your brain and getting the ones with the ones that make twos.
    Where I want to take you is that it's not possible to make a point if you are emotionally involved in it. Look at Mu, his argumentation is (imo) completely detached from reality and day to day matter but it makes sens in its own way (plus I can't build any argumented thoughts as he can, so I'm not going to counter argument him ^-^).

    Morever, it's his tastes, it's her tastes, let people be as they let you be, don't be a bitch.




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    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    But I don't even see the point in this kind of melodramatic jerkoff. Why? Just why? If you want to be again with someone, JUST SAY IT. If you get rejected...well, at least you tried. I'd personally just do a smart move and not say anything and continue with my pleasurable life. If I notice someone interesting(or she notices me whatever)...cool. But why this crap?
    Whats one good reason why not?

    I see it as a type of experiment in honesty, vulnerability, and telling the truth. I think we might not like the guy and girl individually for whatever reasons, yet there is a kind of braveness in what they did with the video that I can respect and appreciate.

    Their conversation is usually done in private, yet in todays age of filming and taking a picture of everything, this conversation gets broadcasted. There is a level of authenticity found in it that is different from the drama found in fiction.

    So is it really all that unusual, or even unique? What is the difference between this conversation and the thousands of other epilogues that have been shown in movies between ex lovers?
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Going to post a SLE-Ti in contrast to LIE and how they deal with relationships, was watching Luther last nite.



    This is not a real scene but Idris himself is SLE so he's not really acting abnormally, there is a ferocity and power to it as well as a vulnerability which Idris can channel that is core to him.

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    So...LIE and...IEE? Yeah, I could buy 4D subconscious Fe.

    Then why the fuck did I call my supposed dual a sleazebag? Tbh, I already had clashes with LIE and if you ask me, they're the scum of the Earth. So calculating and so "smart" in oh so arrogant way. Which doesn't mean I'm not an ESI...it could mean that Aušra's whole system is a LIE! Why would any ESI want to be with such a guy??? Because of money? What are we? Whores? Fuck that stupid not-even-Russian bitch! And her throng of LII followers.

    ...now this video polarised me...AGAIN!

    I'd just like to know what @Sol thinks of these two.
    LIE's are often low empathy and this is just a characteristic of many types. Business-like and cold blooded types can be quite unempathic and as such they might be a bit callous. They can often offer material security, a kind of pragmatic support that benefits them, they can even wish to possess their partner as a bauble and such. Beyond this, they can become attached to individuals and this attachment can let them develop empathy skills and such. They can be well-wishing for their family and loved ones and be able to control their more callous behavior.

    This particularly individual is young, he's still undeveloped and maturing, he's naturally narcissistic and unempathic, it's all somewhat not surprising for a individual such as him to exist. This doesn't prevent him from learning from his mistakes, finding new relationships and correcting them. He does note that he was mostly at fault for the dissolution of the relationship, whether this was sincere or if he cares to change is up to him. In the gamut of humanity, he's just selfish, perhaps a bit callous and unempathic but he doesn't seem to be malignantly abusive since this sort of video got made.

    Clashes are normal for relationships, and voicing concerns might be constructive for relations as well, this is often a way for people to develop. Something like duality doesn't mean absence of conflict. How relationship conflict resolves, and the tension and anxiety of conflict resolution will have much more to do with compatibility. A relationship that reduces anxiety even in conflict is something that would be healthy both psychologically and physiological , I think duality has the potential to offer such a relationship. But don't let you think this is boring, because boredom is in itself a form of anxiety, often relationships form from high anxiety, and devolve into boredom as this high tension experience overpowers the physiological system, which turns it into boredom. I think compatible relations avoid this high anxiety/boredom roller-coaster and stablize into more stable ups and downs. The nature and character of these up and downs can be very individual as well.

    You can tell these two individuals did not really engage in very stable ups and downs, they were in a rocky relationship with likely a lot of tension and boredom, some of which might lead to cheating, reconciliation. This unstable pattern lasted a while but eventually it disintegrated. I have no problem characterizing this relation as some sort of benefit relation as this is rather common sort of relation that exhibit rocky patterns like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    LIE's are often low empathy and this is just a characteristic of many types. Business-like and cold blooded types can be quite unempathic and as such they might be a bit callous. They can often offer material security, a kind of pragmatic support that benefits them, they can even wish to possess their partner as a bauble and such. Beyond this, they can become attached to individuals and this attachment can let them develop empathy skills and such. They can be well-wishing for their family and loved ones and be able to control their more callous behavior.
    Never read this anywhere, would be curious to see the literature, or members posts stating LIE is low on empathy. Sounds like a pet theory to me.


    This particularly individual is young, he's still undeveloped and maturing, he's naturally narcissistic and unempathic, it's all somewhat not surprising for a individual such as him to exist. This doesn't prevent him from learning from his mistakes, finding new relationships and correcting them. He does note that he was mostly at fault for the dissolution of the relationship, whether this was sincere or if he cares to change is up to him. In the gamut of humanity, he's just selfish, perhaps a bit callous and unempathic but he doesn't seem to be malignantly abusive since this sort of video got made.

    Clashes are normal for relationships, and voicing concerns might be constructive for relations as well, this is often a way for people to develop. Something like duality doesn't mean absence of conflict. How relationship conflict resolves, and the tension and anxiety of conflict resolution will have much more to do with compatibility. A relationship that reduces anxiety even in conflict is something that would be healthy both psychologically and physiological , I think duality has the potential to offer such a relationship. But don't let you think this is boring, because boredom is in itself a form of anxiety, often relationships form from high anxiety, and devolve into boredom as this high tension experience overpowers the physiological system, which turns it into boredom. I think compatible relations avoid this high anxiety/boredom roller-coaster and stablize into more stable ups and downs. The nature and character of these up and downs can be very individual as well.

    You can tell these two individuals did not really engage in very stable ups and downs, they were in a rocky relationship with likely a lot of tension and boredom, some of which might lead to cheating, reconciliation. This unstable pattern lasted a while but eventually it disintegrated. I have no problem characterizing this relation as some sort of benefit relation as this is rather common sort of relation that exhibit rocky patterns like this.
    Really great stuff here!
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mega View Post
    Stop making a scene out of everything and being so fucking judgmental, start using your brain and getting the ones with the ones that make twos.
    Where I want to take you is that it's not possible to make a point if you are emotionally involved in it. Look at Mu, his argumentation is (imo) completely detached from reality and day to day matter but it makes sens in its own way (plus I can't build any argumented thoughts as he can, so I'm not going to counter argument him ^-^).

    Morever, it's his tastes, it's her tastes, let people be as they let you be, don't be a bitch.
    Well, I'm always emotionally involved and I'm always passionate about things. And no, I don't care what others think. I simply don't.

    ...but this will escalate. Something tells me I don't get along with Te-doms...

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    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    The guy lost interest while in the relationship, the girl was holding on. The girl is still in love with him, you can see it in her eyes. The guy feels guilty.

    Btw, the guy looks like a cheater. He has that vacant look... I can't explain it, but it's there.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    The guy lost interest while in the relationship, the girl was holding on. The girl is still in love with him, you can see it in her eyes. The guy feels guilty.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    The guy lost interest while in the relationship, the girl was holding on. The girl is still in love with him, you can see it in her eyes. The guy feels guilty.

    Btw, the guy looks like a cheater. He has that vacant look... I can't explain it, but it's there.
    I just feel it. The guy is a sleazebag and a waste of time. I always react to bad people.

    And yes, the girl is trying to force herself to move on...something I don't think she can. Why even waste time on people like him? I'd rather do pointless things than be around people like him.

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    Never read this anywhere, would be curious to see the literature, or members posts stating LIE is low on empathy. Sounds like a pet theory to me.
    You can be sure 1D Fi types will often be low empathy. Socionics doesn't really deal with pathology, and I'm adding a pathology component to it. EII's are called the Empath too with Dominant Fi, this is a very apt term for them in my opinion.

    LIE's have 1d unconscious Fi, it is a vague and illusive area. For him when he has to deal with sort of Fi questions in the beginning of the video, his verbalization ends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    You can be sure 1D Fi types will often be low empathy. Socionics doesn't really deal with pathology, and I'm adding a pathology component to it. EII's are called the Empath too with Dominant Fi, this is a very apt term for them in my opinion.

    LIE's have 1d unconscious Fi, it is a vague and illusive area. For him when he has to deal with sort of Fi questions in the beginning of the video, his verbalization ends.
    Okay..so he (they) don't have a language with empathy, a framework in which to verbalize it. That does not mean the empathy is not there to begin with......

    it just means they don't know/ struggle with putting their thought, feelings, rules of engagement into words. BIG difference.

    So you get things like them saying "I don't know how I feel about you" ......

    and on the outside it appears there is no empathy. They might even seem blase about the whole thing.

    Yet they pick you up every morning to drive you to school, they ask for you to come over at night, they give a a stupid little text, they get all stupid and excitable when you call after an absence, they pout when you change your plans with them.....

    "Of course you like me".

    "I do?"

    "Yes".

    Because they did not show empathy does not mean its not there.

    The guy in the video clearly as Starfall mentioned, may not have cared as much about this girl as she did for him, but that does not say anything about his potential for empathy. It only says he did not feel that way about her.
    Last edited by wacey; 09-05-2015 at 03:59 AM.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    Okay..so he (they) don't have a language with empathy, a framework in which to verbalize it. That does not mean the empathy is not there to begin with......

    it just means they don't know/ struggle with putting their thought, feelings, rules of engagement into words. BIG difference.

    So you get things like them saying "I don't know how I feel about you" ......

    and on the outside it appears there is no empathy. They might even seem blase about the whole thing.

    Yet they pick you up every morning to drive you to school, they ask for you to come over at night, they give a a stupid little text, they get all stupid and excitable when you call after an absence, they pout when you change your plans with them.....

    "Of course you like me".

    Because they did not show empathy does not mean its not there.

    The guy in the video clearly as Starfall mentioned, may not have cared as much about this girl as she did for him, but that does not say anything about his potential for empathy. It only says he did not feel that way about her.
    Empathy is a statement about awareness, since he's not aware of it, it is sort of implied that he doesn't have it. Potential exists perhaps but it's highly unlikely this individual has high empathy.

    And the sort of smirk of self-satisfaction he makes to her distress shows he doesn't care about how she feels even when she's distressed. If this is the sort of expression he gives someone he "grew up with together" and "loves", he's a callous unemphatic individual. I don't know what else to call it.

    He's also a liar.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    Empathy is a statement about awareness, since he's not aware of it, it is sort of implied that he doesn't have it. Potential exists perhaps but it's highly unlikely this individual has high empathy.

    And the sort of smirk of self-satisfaction he makes to her distress shows he doesn't care about how she feels even when she's distressed. If this is the sort of expression he gives someone he "grew up with together" and "loves", he's a callous unemphatic individual. I don't know what else to call it.

    He's also a liar.
    I suppose in some circle empathy must be demonstrated gesturally in order to be real. Nothing in the video showed me he had no awareness of his actions and of his awareness of her present reactions.

    He might have had prior awareness that you mention because he ended the relationship and they broke up. Sometimes the most empathetic action towards another person involves possibly hurting their feelings. You can show you care about someone by being truthful about your own feelings.

    Perhaps he was callous, but that still says nothing about his ability to empathize. In close relationships it can be difficult for even the most empathetic individuals to demonstrate empathy at all times. People are sometimes inherently selfish. And as they should be, actually.

    That he shows self satisfaction in her distress also stresses the reasons why they are not together and should not be in the first place. Simply because a person is distressed is not necessarily a reason a person needs to "feel what they are feeling", by putting themselves in their shoes. It only speaks about his lack of feelings towards her as an individual, not an over arching theme of callousness to each person in his life.

    Also, his callousness may stem from his still apparent feelings about their relationship. Meaning he still finds her not suitable for him even now and her reactions only confirming in his mind the way he originally felt towards her.

    You can love someone and still habour ill feelings towards them.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    The guy lost interest while in the relationship, the girl was holding on. The girl is still in love with him, you can see it in her eyes. The guy feels guilty.

    Btw, the guy looks like a cheater. He has that vacant look... I can't explain it, but it's there.
    What do I know? I can't do this shit for realz. It is just random and I see none of these things you see. Care to explain how to notice the typological stuff?

    I am beggining to think it is crap. Astrology at least has thousand of years and countless great minds behind it. Typology has...around 10 farts that are glued to an ancient methusalem's fart. ...really?

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    strangeling's Avatar
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    I don't feel sure about types outside of xxTx and ExFx, but creative subtypes have more psychological stability/maturity/etc. So I'd imagine LIE-Ni with IEE-Fi would work a lot better than if both were leading subtypes.

    I wish socionics would expand the relations for subtypes. Might be a bit more interesting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    What do I know? I can't do this shit for realz. It is just random and I see none of these things you see. Care to explain how to notice the typological stuff?

    I am beggining to think it is crap. Astrology at least has thousand of years and countless great minds behind it. Typology has...around 10 farts that are glued to an ancient methusalem's fart. ...really?
    What are you talking about? What is typological stuff?
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    Btw, the guy looks like a cheater. He has that vacant look... I can't explain it, but it's there.
    yes, i associate that vacant look with some combination of narcissism, Low Openness (Big 5), and low empathy.

    probably a good psychological recipe to make a cheater and a liar, lol

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    Seriously Judicious Emotivist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    ...Girl is co-dependent spectrum. It starts off, "Why did you cheat on me so many times?"
    I agree the guy is a narcissist. But she is not IEE. Not seeing it. Where is the reserve? An IEE does not need to ask, "Why did you cheat on me?" The psychologist knows right away: its who he is. When he cheats, she sees it all, including how foolish she was to ever imagine/hope he was something else.

    I do not ever see an IEE exposing herself for public examination of her feelings, particularly when they are raw. Never. However, she will openly talk about them AFTER she has processed them by all by herself, and cried by herself, and then later she will be be glad to tell you all about her conclusions - what she realized and learned from the experience. ONLY after she experiences her feelings in private, and figures them all out. That's how IEE operates.


    Quote Originally Posted by nondescript View Post
    Girl: FeSi in any combination(SEI or ESE). NO WAY on IEE. Most likely ESE. She is REALLY expressive.

    That puts them into benefit relationship as well. Just saying...
    Not sure on his type. I could go with SEI or ESE for her. Also leaning ESE. Because I think SEI is too reticent to do this public interview about her feelings. Benefit is possible. Benefactors leave as a cheat. They can never really appreciate Benefactee, although they find her interesting at first.
    "A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
    ........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........


    "Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
    by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
    attitude acceptable to today's standards."
    - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"

    .
    .
    .


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    I don't think the guy is necessarily as horrible as everyone is making him out to be... he has a lot of character flaws, but I don't think he's necessarily evil. It doesn't look like he abused her, at least.

    He clearly lost deeper feelings for her at some point in the relationship and realized that she wasn't the one... which makes for a painful scenario, but at the same time isn't really a crime. You can't force yourself to stay in love. He handled the situation in a shitty way, though. He should have had the balls to end it if he knew he was getting bored/cold feet and wanted to test out other options. He felt comfortable in the relationship, loved her and didn't want to lose the friendship, so rather than straight up ending it with her, he sought out other women while still in his safety blanket. THAT was a selfish and cowardly move, but at the same time he's human and none of us are perfect. Still to this day, he has trouble even admitting it (it's common for people to not want to admit & own up when they've done wrong). You can see on his face that he knows he caused her an immense amount of pain, and the guilt in his eyes looks genuine. He knows he fucked up, even if he struggles to really admit it.

    He really hurt her, and it's difficult to see the pain in her eyes. We've all been there. I've been on both sides (minus the cheating on my part). She deserves someone who will love her always, through and through.

    Love is always a risk in this way. Relationships take mutual trust, respect and commitment, otherwise they're bound to crumble.
    Last edited by fox; 09-05-2015 at 03:22 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    I feel sad that such a private moment was uploaded on the internet so that others could pyschoanalyze it, but they volunteered for it (if it's even real?). I saw in link that it is apart of a documentary about exes.

    woot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mu4 View Post
    Going to post a SLE-Ti in contrast to LIE and how they deal with relationships, was watching Luther last nite.

    [video]

    This is not a real scene but Idris himself is SLE so he's not really acting abnormally, there is a ferocity and power to it as well as a vulnerability which Idris can channel that is core to him.
    aw. maybe i'm valuing after all.

    ...

    regarding OP i didn't believe they "loved each other so much" or whatever (i suspected their relationship wasn't real in a way). but i feel like i'm intruding watching it. maybe she felt that way, but i didn't believe it of him. something felt quite wrong about the little bit i watched. but some people can behave strangely when a camera is pointed at them (and they know it) too, especially if they chose to put it there to begin with. it's multiple layers of possible image consciousness (image meaning the part of you that is watching yourself watch yourself and knows all the conflicting, often ego-driven motivations for doing it). so even though it seemed very *unreal* to me (like this isn't who either of them are), i don't think it's "fake" either. still, that guy creeps me out. maybe it's what nondescript mentioned - how calculating he seems. her feelings seem to mean very little to him (they can carry on the emotional life of a relationship all on their own apparently?), and he just seems to calculate his responses.

    anyway, i feel kind of bad for analyzing it at all. and i don't want to make awful judgments about people from a brief video because i know that no matter what i inwardly "know" that i don't truly *know* anything.

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