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Thread: How does the Demonstrative/Dual Seeking functions interact in conflict/supervision?

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    Muddy's Avatar
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    Default How does the Demonstrative/Dual Seeking functions interact in conflict/supervision?

    I'm curious how the very strong but unvalued demo function interacts with the very weak but highly valued dual seeking.

    Most of the talk about conflict/supervision seems to revolve how the leading function of one attacks the polr of the other, but I think the DS/Demo plays an equally big role in making these relations unpleasant. To me it seems like there is a suppression effect going on here. Our conflictor/supervisee seems to unconsciously notice the weakness of our DS function and bullies/belittles it. Its sort of like "I am good at this but you will never be, and I'll rub it in your face." This is why I think supervision relations are often unpleasant for the supervisor as well, because whenever the supervisor pressures the polr of the supervisee, the supervisee responds by mocking the supervisor's DS in defense. If the supervisor is in touch with his DS however this makes the supervisee's attempts at this useless.

    What are some possible manifestations you have witnessed of DS/Demo interaction in these relations?

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    Arete GuavaDrunk's Avatar
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    Theoretical cloud castle:

    As the Demonstrative is strong yet unvalued, it tends to automatically pop up to resolve something and then disappear back into the swamp. There's typically no conscious analysis of it and a reluctance to focus on it for its own sake. It acts in the service of other functions.

    Now, if this was someone's DS, they'd feel pretty frustrated over time. Something they want and highly value is... there but not taken seriously, and nagging/begging/asking/insisting for more causes vague annoyance and tiredness in the dispenser. The asker might feel unvalued/like an unreasonable intruder/condescended to/chastised/ a sudden attack of boredom/etc.

    In Conflict this dynamic could account for conversations which devolve (slowly?) into refocusing on the Real Question, with the other becoming nonplussed/irritated/w/e and jerking the steering wheel away. Eventually the conversation reaches a tree, or each decides to find a better co-pilot, who can actually talk [language of choice] and read a damned map.

    In Supervision, this might cause the Supervisor to become enthusiastic about the Supervisee's reactions and redouble their use of the Base function, which'd precipitate the Sp-ee acting like a wet hissy cat and the Sp-or being confused. The Sp-or reacted to something that vibed as 'friendly behaviour,' however they mistook a biproduct of the Sp-ee's actual point for the main point, and the Sp-ee would feel pretty dismissed and unheard. Or think the Sp-or is an idiot and simply ignore them.

    In practice: no idea. Manners go a long way and people have different ways of acting with regards to their functions.
    Reason is a whore.

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