I found this tale of love between an ENTp and a "ISFp" at an MBTI site (forgot to copy link) which seemed to have the ENTp secret agenda written all over it. He becomes convinced that the SEI he is seeing is secretly plotting to do him great harm and he gets upset because she never shows much feeling toward him. What he says about the ESFP near the end was interesting to. She seemed to be tightening the thumbscrews on him also, but he tried to see past it.

Edit: here's the link, it's buried down a bit in the comments: http://infj.tribe.net/thread/ed31864...9-6b3a9e30611a

ISFP's like aesthetics and I am a decent looking guy. (that's tongue in cheek self-aggrandizement.)

In normal speak: She thought I was cute and she goes for that sort of thing.

This was my first meaningful relationship and I was In luck. She was cute and waaaay more than a nerd like I ever deserved. This is a time in my life where physical beauty was of primary importance to me because I had never connected with anyone mentally or emotionally before. I was young and in college.

She has feelings as her primary function. Loving deeply was important to her. I took for granted her love. I was madly in love with her. She was sometimes a bit, well, dopey. She usually hid it well, but one time she came to me and said "did you know the sun is a star?" "I told her to keep that to herself, the world isn't ready for it yet" and she looked pleased to know. I find awed and astounded -SFP's to be inspiring because I love wonder. The tradeoff to being awed a lot is to be well, a little slow about how some things technically work, smart in other ways.

I remember once per month she would attempt to start fights with me. I saw it coming but each time a fight about petty things would ensue. She was venting rage at me inside her for not being able to understand her. I think this is because At the time for me if you didn't "look" like you felt sad and said you were sad it wasn't real to me. I was evidence based and in a very me perspective. Everyone shows emotion same as me mindset. No major outward emotion meant to me "you don't really feel that way". Denial of feelings and scathing skepticism resulted from her best attempts at telling me what was bothering her.

I Could not read her deep introverted feeling. When ISFP's get very angry they become very quiet and may fantasize violence. at least that's what me best friend since 6 ISFP says. I can only imagine the violence she fantasized on me before the end. My not giving her a corner on her soul and denial of feelings ended the relationship. she moved away then broke it off. Quite a feat for an artisan to end it. My ignorance of the complexities of human nature really made the relationship all about me. She was kind of in it for a stable place to live, though not at first. They were all deal breakers in progress.

I have since then dated an ESFP. By being completely sincere with ALL of my emotions were were able to create a stable pair. I use choice theory and so I strive for a non-coercive relationship, which she loved. I accepted her less obvious feelings as valid at great personal stress to me, but when she was angry and working though it, I felt extremely uncomfortable with her introverted feeling. She would be cynical about my ideas about a subject and tended to always take an agnostic approach to every topic. She didn't think any one could know the best stance to take so she didn't take them. I found this ok in theory, but in practice it felt like she was cynical about all new ideas. She didn't trust learning that wasn't from experience (being extremely high sensing ) so sometimes she found trusting my intuition to be a gamble.

I found myself absorbed with her. She had a way of amping people up and after a while I want calm because I am a -NT-. During the getting things going phase of the relationship we did well. We overcame obsticals with minimal effort and created a stable home quickly. In time I felt anxious and amped. I did not get as much done so I felt unhappy. Rationals -NT- need achievement to feel good about themselves, but I found myself lost in playtime with her. Not that it wasn't the most fun I have ever had in a relationship, but I broke it off because I was looking for something deeper.

I think the relationship would eventually deteriorate. The ENTP just can't pay enough attention to the ESFP for both of them to be satisfied physically and mentally. Its a tradeoff. A better match for the Performer Artisan ESFP is the inspector gaurdian ISTJ. The hardest kind to get to crack a smile. Nothing delights an ESFP more than a tough cookie who "can't" smile with a lot of stability.

She was very mature about the breakup. ESFP's are tactical and can hold a grudge... so you never know. I am watching my back but hopeful to keep her as a friend.