Contrary type differences: IEI-INFp and IEE-ENFp

[Hugo]

I've noticed that in this forum, the ENFps (except Stefana perhaps) are kinda old in age and the INFps are kinda young in age.

Any comments?

[Slacker]

*sets down her cane and puts her dentures in*

I think it's coincidence

[FDG]

That's because INFps get killed by ESTps, and ENFps get older quickly by living with ISTps.

[stefana]

[implied]

That's because INFps get killed by ESTps, and ENFps get older quickly by living with ISTps.

hah!

[Topaz]

One possibility might be that the INFPs just sound young. I think of all of them (my older sister being the exception) as about 13. Awww so cute. Run and play now!

OK, thats harsh, I shouldnt say that.

Back in my day, we didnt make a big fuss over stuff like that. *Puts in an 8 track tape, slips on platform shoes*
No matter what type you were, you were cool. Dig it.
*Starts dancing to Sly and the Family Stone: "I Wanna Thank You Fo Let Me Be Mah Self Again"*

[Gilly]

Since when is Topaz LIE?

[meatburger]

Yeah theres me and Traveller

I will always be young at heart

[Topaz]

Since when is Topaz LIE?

After long minutes of deep soul searching (and talking to Joy) I decided I was LIE. Glory! I see the light! I dont know how I could have missed it.

[schrödinger's cat]

Since when is Topaz LIE?

After long minutes of deep soul searching (and talking to Joy) I decided I was LIE. Glory! I see the light! I dont know how I could have missed it.

For one terrible moment I believed you were being serious. - You weren't, were you? Or were you? No. Right?

[schrödinger's cat]

*sets down her cane and puts her dentures in*

I think it's coincidence

Perfect.

[Creepy-aurora_faerie]

ENFp's seem older because they are trying to better than people by acting "mature" or at least superfically mature. INFp's just act timid or like themselves. Like me, I'm spazzy and moody, and thats how I act here. I try to be all serious sometimes but I'm never taken seriously because people just remember me as being spazzy or whatever.

People generally don't listen to me or take me seriously, online and off.


(not all ENFp's)

[Topaz]

ENFp's seem older because they are trying to better than people by acting "mature" or at least superfically mature. INFp's just act timid or like themselves. Like me, I'm spazzy and moody, and thats how I act here. I try to be all serious sometimes but I'm never taken seriously because people just remember me as being spazzy or whatever.

People generally don't listen to me or take me seriously, online and off.


(not all ENFp's)

Aww I love it when you guys complain. Its so cute. <3

[schrödinger's cat]

ENFp's seem older because they are trying to better than people by acting "mature" or at least superfically mature. INFp's just act timid or like themselves. ... (not all ENFp's)

I don't think it's an act we put on in order to impress people. If it's put on at all, it's in order to pass for normal. You should see some of the stares we get whenever we really let our hair down. But I'm very much afraid that this prissy "maturity" is what we're actually really like. It's the creative Fi, probably.

*blinding flash of sudden insight* Could it all be related to our Te hidden agenda? A hidden need to be taken seriously? Or would that be the Ti PoLR? One of those, anyway.

As for acting like yourself - I'm beginning to wonder if this could be one way extraverts are different from introverts. Perhaps we don't really have a "real self" first of all, and then we sort of act like it. With me it's the other way round. When I'm interacting with the outside world, then my real self sort of happens within me, as a side-effect. As soon as I stop and examine what I'm really like, then everything quickly becomes static, and dead, and misleading. I seem to have so many facets, and different situations bring out different aspects of behaviour.

What do you all think? Are those things I said typical for ENFps? Yes/no/some of them?

[Kim]

As for acting like yourself - sometimes I feel like my true nature is a phenomenon that only occurrs if and when I'm not busy looking for my true nature. If I interact with the outside world, then my real self sort of happens within me. As a side-effect, perhaps. That makes it a little difficult at times to say what actually IS my real self. I seem to have so many facets, and different situations bring out different aspects of behaviour.

What do you all think? Are those things I said typical for ENFps? Yes/no/some of them?

Absolutely - the trials of
Especially the part of the true self happening within us. Perhaps that is also why we are so secretive when it comes to deep emotions, especially fear and pain? While the real self incorporates the good, the bad, and the ugly, I don't want to expose people to the latter. They will see a part of me that is very real, but not the whole picture. And yes, isn't it amazing how people would provide such different descriptions of you depending on which context they met you in? They would range from "quiet and shy" to "zany and energetic" to "bitchy and confrontational." And I am not even trying to be one or the other.

I just recently had a talk with a friend of mine about the bad and the ugly. I think he is still in shock. Well, the irony of it is that now he is more attentive than ever: he is INFp and I suppose the bad and the ugly make me *deep* enough to be attractive to him. 'Tis rather funny.

[FDG]

As for acting like yourself - sometimes I feel like my true nature is a phenomenon that only occurrs if and when I'm not busy looking for my true nature. If I interact with the outside world, then my real self sort of happens within me. As a side-effect, perhaps. That makes it a little difficult at times to say what actually IS my real self. I seem to have so many facets, and different situations bring out different aspects of behaviour.

What do you all think? Are those things I said typical for ENFps? Yes/no/some of them?

Absolutely - the trials of
Especially the part of the true self happening within us. Perhaps that is also why we are so secretive when it comes to deep emotions, especially fear and pain? While the real self incorporates the good, the bad, and the ugly, I don't want to expose people to the latter. They will see a part of me that is very real, but not the whole picture. And yes, isn't it amazing how people would provide such different descriptions of you depending on which context they met you in? They would range from "quiet and shy" to "zany and energetic" to "bitchy and confrontational." And I am not even trying to be one or the other.

Hey, I relate. I think it's like this for all ExxP

[Expat]

Yeah that sounds like EP temperament.

[XoX]

I've noticed that in this forum, the ENFps (except Stefana perhaps) are kinda old in age and the INFps are kinda young in age.

Any comments?

Perhaps INFps (being introverts) do their self-search younger? ENFps just hurry through early life without paying much attention to concepts like "self" and only later start seriously thinking about who they are and what it means etc. I don't know.

If this is true perhaps it could it be generalized that introverts here are generally younger than extroverts?

[Topaz]

I've noticed that in this forum, the ENFps (except Stefana perhaps) are kinda old in age and the INFps are kinda young in age.

Any comments?

Perhaps INFps (being introverts) do their self-search younger? ENFps just hurry through early life without paying much attention to concepts like "self" and only later start seriously thinking about who they are and what it means etc. I don't know.

If this is true perhaps it could it be generalized that introverts here are generally younger than extroverts?

Not even. ENFPs are born with a desire self actualization and meaning. All NFs are like that. (Keirsey got that one right ) ENFPs a probably more likely to look for signs of self in the outer world and INFPs will look to the inner world to find themselves. Eventually both will shift. NFs enter maturity when they give up the search and live a life of integrity. They are still very aware of who they are and still scrutinize their actions but the main thing is to live with integrity, push themselves beyond boundries, dichotimies, and fears. Like Cat said when we stop to examine ourselves too long we loose ourselves.

[schrödinger's cat]

boom boom TISH!

(I'm tired of always saying "I agree with Topaz", so I thought I'd vary the pattern a little)

[meatburger]

I always thought i acted mature because of my conservative parents. My Father(ISTj) is very serious and made me grow up fast.

I always used to have to buy the underage beer and i often found myself talking to the parents at a party.

Psychologically i actually believe i have the maturity level of most 40 year olds.

Topaz i love your post on abandoning the self searching. Unfortunately i am still doing it to some extent and even though i know i need to let it go i cant seem to for some reason.

[XoX]

I've noticed that in this forum, the ENFps (except Stefana perhaps) are kinda old in age and the INFps are kinda young in age.

Any comments?

Perhaps INFps (being introverts) do their self-search younger? ENFps just hurry through early life without paying much attention to concepts like "self" and only later start seriously thinking about who they are and what it means etc. I don't know.

If this is true perhaps it could it be generalized that introverts here are generally younger than extroverts?

Not even. ENFPs are born with a desire self actualization and meaning. All NFs are like that. (Keirsey got that one right ) ENFPs a probably more likely to look for signs of self in the outer world and INFPs will look to the inner world to find themselves. Eventually both will shift. NFs enter maturity when they give up the search and live a life of integrity. They are still very aware of who they are and still scrutinize their actions but the main thing is to live with integrity, push themselves beyond boundries, dichotimies, and fears. Like Cat said when we stop to examine ourselves too long we loose ourselves.

Does this answer mean you disagree or agree with this:

"If this is true perhaps it could it be generalized that introverts here are generally younger than extroverts?"

[schrödinger's cat]

"If this is true perhaps it could it be generalized that introverts here are generally younger than extroverts?"

Hah! I just remembered something: On this forum, the INFps are in fact younger than most ENFps. One of the blinding flashes of insight us ENFps are so rightly famous for. So... correct me if I'm jumping to conclusions... but doesn't that make the answer to XoX's question a resounding "yes", as far as ENFps and INFps are concerned?

[Topaz]

"If this is true perhaps it could it be generalized that introverts here are generally younger than extroverts?"

Hah! I just remembered something: On this forum, the INFps are in fact younger than most ENFps. One of the blinding flashes of insight us ENFps are so rightly famous for. So... correct me if I'm jumping to conclusions... but doesn't that make the answer to XoX's question a resounding "yes", as far as ENFps and INFps are concerned?

yes it does but I was having fun avoiding the question. Its not even a matter of opinion really. Either the ENFPs in general or older or not. I technically dont know the ages of the INFPs on this forum but I do know the basic ages of at least some ENFPs so I cant actually say for sure who really is older. But Id have to put my money one ENFPs. That being said I think its just coincidence. Not all ENFPs are older than INFPs. Thats silly.

[Expat]

There may be already a thread on that, but anyway --

How would you describe the easiest-to-spot differences between ENFps and INFps, especially when meeting them IRL but not knowing them very deeply?

The concrete situation is -- a woman I know slightly, but will potentially have to deal with more in the future, is almost certainly either ENFp or INFp. From my interactions with her I'd have said INFp, but the people she mostly hangs around with seem to be largely Delta which strongly suggests ENFp.

[dreamer]

I think one of my friends is ENFP. We're not that close because like when we're together, nothing is challenged and we don't know what to do. There's a bit of psychological distance even though she's very like accepting, understanding and not judging. But I just don't feel as comfortable for some reason. If she really is ENFP, then it's really easy to tell. She's very blunt and has her own weird sense of humor. INFPs are more secretive and goofy in only some occasions. ENFPs are like never cold. They are always warm.

[schrödinger's cat]

Sorry, Expat, no idea. Perhaps it's different depending on what type you yourself are... I mean, an ENFp might distinguish between an INTj and ENTj (f.expl.) with the help of little things that matter to ENFps or are easily noticed by ENFps, but would totally get ignored by other types.

What I'd do in your situation is mainly go via the "does she remind me of my scary INFp sister-in-law" route, a method that would probably set any type's teeth on edge.

Ah! Found something. Does the person feel at ease with her Delta friends or do you get the impression she's suppressing a part of herself? Could that help?

[timeofurlife42]

the easiest way i kno of to tell is to get into an intimate conversation about her. if she's enfp she will most definatly spill the beans about whatever u are talking about with little work on your part, if she is infp she most likely wont, or it will take a lot of prodding on your part

could be a little uncomfortable though if she turns out to be infp

[meatburger]

Grab her breasts

If she is INFp she will playfully smile and kick you

If she is ENFp she will stare daggers at you and hit you on the arm but really want you

I think what someone said about warmth could be accurate. If she tries very hard to be warm to everyone then shes ENFp. Also if she spurts out a few whacky things shes ENFp too. Maybe you could watch her energy levels, how she looks when she moves.

[schrödinger's cat]

I think what someone said about warmth could be accurate. If she tries very hard to be warm to everyone then shes ENFp. Also if she spurts out a few whacky things shes ENFp too.

That would make me an INFp, because I can be like that, but not with everyone, and not straight away. There might be situations or groups of people where I'm never like that.

And we'll just forget about that little verbal diarrhoea about the breasts, shall we. That is the biggest bit of nonsense I've ever heard any ENFp spout. Mind you, meatburger, I'm still open to other opinions, provided they're based on actual experience. So, have you got breasts?

[meatburger]

That would make me an INFp, because I can be like that, but not with everyone, and not straight away. There might be situations or groups of people where I'm never like that.

Yeah maybe i was a little off. The ENFp girl at work is like that and im kind of like that. Even if im in a bad mood i try very hard to appear interested / warm.

And we'll just forget about that little verbal diarrhoea about the breasts, shall we. That is the biggest bit of nonsense I've ever heard any ENFp spout. Mind you, meatburger, I'm still open to other opinions, provided they're based on actual experience. So, have you got breasts?

I wish i had breasts. I would definately play with them and dance to watch them move. My breast theory is based on factual evidence.

[FDG]

IME INFps tend to try harder to be warm to everybody, as opposed to ENFps which are less so. Also with ENFps the more attraction there is, the more comfortable they are at being warm, with INFps the more attraction there is, the more they are awkward at being warm.

[IcEPiCk]

INFPs I have seen have a gaze in their eyes... Teeth are often more exposed for some reason. They will act 'high' or out of it for no apparent reason... The INFPs I have met are mostly quite skinny except for the guys who lift crazy weights and thats the exception.


ENFPs tend to see through you when they first look at you its like they see past your body, and it makes me think I am being scanned by an alien. ENFPs will be more physical in body contact and seek excitement more than the INFP.

The INFP is more likely to be open about their problems in the world. The ENFP would only share that with a special few or one.

**this probably wont help:

The ENFP dresses with a touch of uniqueness. Look for quirky ear rings, purses etc. The INFP dresses with a touch of ?! I guess difference being the ENFP making a statement, the INFP being a statement.

[ScarlettLux]

Hmm.. ENFps are much warmer, I agree. With EVERYONE.

I am a very passionate person deep inside, but it is very, very hard for me to let that be shown to just anyone ... it is too intense and private. What FDG said is true too - the more attraction I have to a person, the harder it will be to be friendly/warm.. etc. It's as if I don't want them to know I am attracted to them and like to play that distant, mysterious role of not being all over them =P I hate that..

ENFps on the other hand are WHACKY as hell... it makes me kinda uncomfortable because it almost seems fake (girls, especially..) The way they are ALWAYS seemingly happy.. grr. I know one that pisses the hell out of me, she can't shut up and is so annoying ... EVERYONE thinks she is so intolerable while she thinks she is incredibly funny and cute. Attention whores at a very OBVIOUS level ?

INFps -- we are attention whores, yes... but on a subtler level. We know how to manipulate emotions more, I believe

ALSO -- if you just meet me, I can come off quite cold. Other times quite nice ... it depends =/ But never quite as friendly as ENFps.
I have that distant look in my eyes as mentioned .. and I get that really "out of it" .. "high" look too.

[XoX]

There may be already a thread on that, but anyway --

How would you describe the easiest-to-spot differences between ENFps and INFps, especially when meeting them IRL but not knowing them very deeply?

The concrete situation is -- a woman I know slightly, but will potentially have to deal with more in the future, is almost certainly either ENFp or INFp. From my interactions with her I'd have said INFp, but the people she mostly hangs around with seem to be largely Delta which strongly suggests ENFp.

I have this idea that one on one ENFps would be more dominating and self centered where INFps would try to adapt to you and make you feel comfortable with them. Unless you piss them of. The ENFp is also way more scattered especially if things are happening around you. INFp is perhaps better at concentrating on you. ENFps are likely to chat more "freely" too. INFps pay more attention to what they say and when. Then I guess the ENFp would be more "real". The INFp might take a be a bit different role depending on the context. Oh and INFps are good at making promises but not very good at keeping them "yes I will do that task and send you an email let's say tomorrow is that ok?" then after some days you start bombarding them with "why haven't you done what you promised?" then they go "oh, I'm so sorry!! I forgot. I will do it as soon as possible. How about tomorrow?" and same thing goes on...ENFps can forget what they promised but I think they are bad at breaking promises on purpose. Or promise something just to get rid of a situation/person.

Then...ENFps are more likely to do a "half job" because INFps are perfectionists. ENFps do more stuff but INFps are more careful when doing something.

Ok. If I'm wrong then kill me

[implied]

INFPs I have seen have a gaze in their eyes... Teeth are often more exposed for some reason. They will act 'high' or out of it for no apparent reason... The INFPs I have met are mostly quite skinny except for the guys who lift crazy weights and thats the exception.

weird! i noticed the teeth thing, too. i'm kind of convinced there are more INFp weightlifter guys than people readily realize.

[XoX]

ENFps do more stuff but INFps are more careful when doing something.

I don’t know about that... if you compare me and my mothers driving you would find that I'm more carefree and take more risks, while my mother is very safe and careful obeying the speed limits precisely. We’re both good drivers, yet I’m the more reckless one of the two of us (though that could also have something to do with age).

Ok. My post was badly worded. I was thinking more about situations in work. Like when you have an assignment. INFps are more likely to check that all the facts in their work are correct, there are no simple spelling errors, etc. The general quality of INFp work is usually very high. However INFps are quite slow to produce anything because of their perfectionism and not willing to show their work to others before it is "finished". Well that sort of thing. I don't know if it is generally true though. I have never worked with an ENFp but I _think_ I have sort of worked with an INFp who was very slow but eventually produced high quality work. It was more or less a guess that ENFps would be faster, more open about their progress and not pay as much attention to get all the details and cause-effect relationships right before making their work "public".

[XoX]

Oh and ENFps probably express their true opinions more openly. INFps are sort of diplomats and are more likely to hide their true especially negative, opinions unless really pushed about it. So ENFps would more openly and spontaneously criticize others than INFps. Just another guess.

[meatburger]

yeah. I think most of your observations are very astute XoX

ENFps on the other hand are WHACKY as hell... it makes me kinda uncomfortable because it almost seems fake (girls, especially..) The way they are ALWAYS seemingly happy.. grr. I know one that pisses the hell out of me, she can't shut up and is so annoying ... EVERYONE thinks she is so intolerable while she thinks she is incredibly funny and cute. Attention whores at a very OBVIOUS level ?

Thats actually interesting Scarlett i can imagine this. The ENFp girl at work often acts a bit too cutsey. For instance she will say "hi, my name is XXXX, whats your name?" in a very kiddy voice etc. She does this kind of thing all the time. I actually think most people do like her though(including me), but im certian this kind of thing would annoy some people a lot.

[Expat]

The INFPs I have met are mostly quite skinny except for the guys who lift crazy weights and thats the exception.

I'm usually skeptical of using this kind of trait to type people, but I have to say that as far as INFp men are concerned, this has been precisely my experience so far, both the skinny and weight-lifter bit. I hadn't even put it together like this before

My mother is ENFp and I’m INFp. An easy way to spot the differences would be social interaction. It's more natural for an ENFp to be open; my mother loves to chat people up while I'll most likely avoid them. She will also grow very bored if she is left alone for long periods of time, while I'm quite happy entertaining myself. You also have to put the Quadra values in mind when identifying the two. ENFp’s are lighthearted and friendly, yet they are still serious at the same time. INFp’s are light and silly, and it’s often harder to take them seriously.

Oh and ENFps probably express their true opinions more openly. INFps are sort of diplomats and are more likely to hide their true especially negative, opinions unless really pushed about it. So ENFps would more openly and spontaneously criticize others than INFps. Just another guess.

Well the problem with both observations above is that I don't know yet if she's expressing her true opinions or not.

As for being "lighthearted and friendly" or "light and silly", she's between the two in my PoV.

To me, the most characteristic feature of her personality is a sort of "standard smile" that pops up at almost in any situation, my first reaction to which is to think that it's a sort of mask she activates at will (I am not saying that it really is the case, I'm trying to convey the impression she makes on me). A sort of "static" smile, wide, accompanied by a narrowing of the eyes.

Other things --

She's a music teacher in high school. She is totally helpless with the slightest bit of technical problem (like not knowing how to switch the circuit breaker on in her flat back on after a power surge, or even knowing that she should look for it). Whenever a conversation gets into a more arcane-technical area, she's quick to say, "well I don't understand anything about such things"; she even says stuff like "I'm a technophobic female". She says such things in a sort of slightly impatient way, as if she was saying "so don't expect me to participate, and can you please change the subject" - at least that is my impression, she never says such things directly.