when you're drinking absolut vanilla from a stainless steel thermos...
[Today 07:57 AM] Raver: Life is a ride that lasts very long, but still a ride. It is a dream that we have yet to awaken from.
It's hard to find a love through every shade of grey.
Very similar here, for me.
I've mostly crushed on Ethical types, in particular IEE, SEE, ESI. Probably has something to do with my Imago, who seems to be Extroverted and/or Ethical, leaning towards ExFp. ESI is the exception from the ExFp attraction principle because they are also my Benefactor; they are "above me" in that way, and my Imago is a dude who is somewhat unavailable and likes me less than I like them (sigh). So an ESI guy can fulfill that role easily. Also, ESIs can give me the sweet nectar of -Se too, haha, which kept me hooked in the past. Thankfully I am not as attracted to ESI men anymore as I once was.
From the NTs, I find ILEs and ILIs the most appealing. I do not crush on NTs often at all, but if I do it is on one of those two types. Ironically, the two NT types I am less personally attracted to – LII and LIE – tend to be more attracted to me than the other two. I've had LIIs and LIEs be obsessed with me beyond belief. Tbh, LIIs are probably the one sociotype I am the least romantically/sexually attracted to on average; probably because they are Se PoLR, my Beneficiary, and I don't value Ti as much as I value Ni/Se. I don't really "get much" from that interaction besides mental stimulation, and that is not enough for me to be romantically/sexually attracted to someone. I am not really a "sapiosexual" in that way. I respond much better to visceral or emotional stimulation than intellectual, at least when it comes to romance. I feel like I can provide plenty of mental stimulation for myself on my own, I'd benefit more from someone making me tap more into my emotions and physicality. Having said that, LIIs make the best intellectual buddies for me, I can really enjoy intellectual discussions with them. But again, they don't do much for me romantically/sexually. (Btw, the Ethical type I am the least attracted to on average is EII – again, probably because of their Se PoLR.)
I've found that IEI-Fe people tend to be much more "sapiosexual" than IEI-Ni ones. Must be related to the boosted Ethics and the weakened Logic of the former. It is true that many IEI-Fe individuals, esp. the women, end up with Alpha NTs. I cannot say the same for the IEI-Ni people; as far as I know, most of them end up with a fellow Ni lead. Besides the Imago, there seems to be a correlation between someone's subtype and whether they are more drawn to Logical or Ethical types. I'd say the main factors that determine whether someone will be drawn to one over the other are: Imago > own level of masculinity or femininity > subtype > Enneagram. (For example, I crush the most on people who have 9 and/or 4 in their tritype like myself and who are either 3 or 7 core type).
Feelings. Hm. I identify with what Viktor said regarding anger. But idk, I mostly just feel sort of detached from nearly anyone lately. Serious things have happened in my life past couple years, and besides immediate family, I only ever talked about it with a single friend. Nobody else even had a clue. And they won't. I don't really trust many people right now.
Anyway, I don't like to dwell on that crap. For the most part, I don't think about it. I'm usually cheerful, and things are all right. The negative feelings stuff - ugh, to me, it's just whining, and pointless. That kind of mindset does nobody any good. Pity in all forms, but especially self-pity is something I can do without. I'm more or less happy overall.
I relate to what you said too, I actually couldn't imagine going out with an LII. I really like strong men, I like when they are funny and flashy and when they can 'protect' me in a physical way. I definitely want someone to help me with the sensual side and practical things. SEE-Se subtypes felt somewhat attractive to me too. Not that much into other intuitives.
I don't really do it by default. You'd have to keep asking me for a long time before I get into anything like that.
OK, there was this other thread about feelings (by @Chae).
Gonna copypaste from there about my most common states.
"Neutral calm, fully unaffected
Calm with readiness (=slight anticipation of every next second, otherwise still unaffected)
Some more involved bit of "rush" (what do I call this?)
Desire for things (in some different forms), enjoyment for them
Bits of excitement
Anger related emotionality (irritation, frustration, annoyance, explicit anger, sometimes little "bits of rage")"
Tbh anger is the emotion I access most easily.
Agreed it's pointless to wallow. You do come off very detached here on the forum too, at least since lately, I didn't see your posts in the past. I don't think that should stay that way for too long tho', it's not emotionally healthy IMO.
Finally have something angsty/stupid to write about. I have fallen for a co-worker but he is taken. I like his extroverted personality and he is HILARIOUS (my absolute weakness). I think he is SEE or SLE? I'm not sure. If he was single I would jump his bones. Fuck duality, this guy is the hottest thing I've seen in years. Totally smitten and secretly hoping I'm still around if he's ever back on the market, but, I might quit my job and try waitressing at the strip club before I go back to dancing.
Sometimes I get a feeling he likes me but he's also a total social butterfly and they tend to draw a lot of people to them with charm. Can't wait to be over this and on to someone available.
LSI-Se 836 Sp/Sx
Today at work my co-workers showed their true colors to me by pulling some high school bullshit, everyone getting up and moving a couple tables down when I sat down. Fuck them. And fuck that dude I like so much, he can be with those fuckers. Beta reaction: If you're not with me you're against me. At least I can tell myself I tried to be a part of the group and be more social but they turned out to be haters. Well, the one girl is and that's how this thing started with them acting like they don't know me anymore (they do talk to me when she's not around, because she won't bitch I guess?). My reaction to things like this is going to the gym, tanning, and making more money. If people don't like me, it's not going to be because I'm a loser.
LSI-Se 836 Sp/Sx
LSI-Se 836 Sp/Sx
I want to bang a SLE right now. I mean I wouldn't turn down an EIE. But I'm really feeling SLE at the moment.