Do you happen to know the marriage+divorce rate for dual couples? No. I wish I did. There have been almost no formal studies done on marital compatibility based on type. I've tracked down three papers, but they are not really conclusive, and actually contradict each other, probably because they were seeking to answer slightly different questions.
I don't wanna be cruel, but you are acting and thinking on Ni when you look into ppl responding how you expect them to. I take them for what they are ...naturally .. reactions come up organically out of our communication. I don't expect anyone to be something/someone else. It's not that I consciously expect people to act one way or another. I actually like to be surprised by people, I'm naturally curious about them, and want to find out who they really are, and I think having expectations would affect the results. So, I'm hands-off when it comes to conscious expectations about people's behavior. But I have discovered that I'm pleased and become happy when I get Dual responses.
Here you are, you have your own INFJ fetish that is playing out in your life. If they are all IEIs, you're fucked. You should supervise them. Well, two things. No one wants to be supervised. My ex-wife did that to me without being aware of it, and I hated it. My growing up with my IEI cousin taught me how to avoid supervising IEI's. Never tell them how to be more efficient. They'll listen, but they can't do it, and they'll resent you for being right. Just have faith that they'll do what's best, and support them in getting there their own way. The problem with the present IEI isn't that I supervise her, it is that she wants an SLE who also demonstrates Ti. Regarding the IEI fetish, Yes, I'm fucked. The lizard brain knows what it wants, and it lets me know by pointing at it. Fortunately, I have a rational mammalian brain on top of that. And the rational brain now knows about Duality. I'm confident it can retrain the lizard brain through experience, because the lizard brain doesn't have language and doesn't listen to reason.
Do you think Gamma SFs don't fuck anyone right there. I think they do. I know they do. After I discovered Socionics, I went back and tried to type all my relationships, based on the women's behavior over time. There was only one, um, brief encounter that I think I can type, because she was special. I think she was an ESI, because we got along so well. The bars had closed, it was raining lightly, and I was walking back to my parents house, where I was visiting, when I heard footsteps behind me in the dark. I stopped and waited, and a girl walked up and without a word, we started walking along together. Twenty minutes later she was naked behind the baseball field backstop. Which doesn't really mean anything by itself, but we then stayed together, went on to my parent's house, picked up some alcohol, and spent the rest of that night and the entire next day by a river in the woods in a large park, being rained on, talking and having sex. It was great, but it was more than great. It was comfortable. So comfortable, that I think in retrospect, she was an ESI. So, if she was indeed Gamma SF, she set the record for “right there”.
It's good for you if you become more sensory and in-the-moment ... gets close to dualizing (partly). I don't have problems with that, but I'm reluctant to give up my good judgment.
You can date her without marrying her. A man of your age is often pretty cool for a younger woman ...provided that other prerequisites are met, ofc. I'm old enough to be her father. Her friends would find that revolting. Everyone reading this would find that revolting. I know she's attracted to me. I know she'd date me. I know she'd sleep with me, and the sex (and companionship and comfort) would be great. I also know her friends would be revolted. I also know that every single friend of mine whom I have asked about this (because I have extremely weak ethics and get advice before doing out-of-the-ordinary things) has paused.....and said..... You need to find someone your own age. Thanks for the green light, Amber, but because she is my dual and would probably fall in love with me, my plan is to not hurt her or wreck her life. In any case, there are other, demographically suitable Duals out there, both for her and for me. I've calculated that there are 90 of them (for me) in a population of 150k. The problem is finding them. Most of them seem to be at home all the time.
You're hooked on the Beta irrational duality now. Not hooked. Just idling.
Summary of all this monologue : AS doesn't love his hot IEI as he feels he can/could love someone else.
True. I did fall in love with her. But people can love many others.
He admires her, he finds her intelligent, attractive, a nice "social trophy", I could say, if I wanted to be mean, which I don't.
She's not a trophy. She's an equal. She is different from me, but equal. But otherwise, True.
He prolly wants to fuck her as often as possible, but he doesn't completely trust her to think in future terms and want to make her "his property". Communication gets brittle somewhere. I hope sex is heavenly. If she turns AS into some SLE-ish little beast ...as he claims ... she's prolly not really submissive (an aspect I thought a LIE may find not pleasing enough).
True, if I've parsed that correctly. This is just about the only problem, but it is a problem.
From what I gather he also suspects she might be interested in him for money and other earthly pleasures ...and doesn't have enough methods to test that or what.
Well, here, you're both wrong and right. I have tested that. She is not interested in my money per se, but she enjoys luxury and is interested in my help. But that help can take non-monetary forms and it still makes her happy. Well, Amber, if I ever doubted your ability to see deeply into people based on very little information, I don't now.