Member Questionnaire 1 (PT Rubin)What is beauty? What is love?
All of my answers got deleted and now I'm sad. Beauty and Love are essentially the same thing. It is a moment of elation and transcendence that arrives from the diminishing of the human ego and immediate focus on one's external environment. Much of this comes from within and the human stream of thoughts forces us to ignore this depth and beauty that surrounds us. Rationalizing beauty makes it vanish. There are stories in Japan of old people taking leads of silence. After not speaking for over 3 months, they cease to think in words. They claim the world becomes infinitely more beautiful.What are your most important values?
I don't really have conventional values. If morals are not intrinsic, they are artificial. Pondering ethics to me seems useless in this regard. I hate when people are morally preachy. When I make the occasional holocaust joke, I don't want a lecture on morality. Compassion exists in the human psyche, it will come out when it wants to. Same with selfishness. People should neither be too selfish or too selfless. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I've been a buddhist since I was 14 or so. Reading and employing its teachings have always brought me some joy. I find the story of Buddha very understandable. I've also never believed in god and buddhism is not dependent on a deity. I think everyone needs to fill this void. Many people just fill it with hatred.Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I respect veterans, but hate the military. I think is relies on proving one's self to a bunch of people who don't give a shit about them. Also I don't like to be told what to do and yelled at. I feel like I would get really passive aggressive toward generals and leaders, disobeying their orders and doing my own thing.What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I like lighthearted, funny, scientific conversations about 2/3s of the time (i.e. what if the westboro baptist church is joking, helium-3 mining, why do Mormons all own trampolines), and spend the last third talking about philosophy. I play piano (blues and ragtime), ukulele, I sing, teach tennis, do art, ride a highly effeminate Vespa, and am studying to be an Architect.Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Not really. I like to satirize eastern medicine (i.e *walks outside* yells "I feel my earth chakra re-aligning" *makes albatross noise* *receives weird looks from strangers* *laughs with friends*) When people (typically old) talk about their health, I usually politely nod and ignore them. Eat Less, run more, is my general rule. I don't like taking care of people. My mother just had knee surgery and needs constant attention, literally on the verge of invading Syria right now.What do you think of daily chores?
Dull, I typically don't do them. If I must, I sing shanty songs simultaneously. It increases productivity.Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
My favorite book is The Winds and the Willows by Kenneth Grahame. I really only watch comedies (Wes Anderson, Oscar Wilde) and typically read Freakonomics, Malcolm Gladwell-type stuff. I've always connected with Ralph Waldo Emerson essays. I've never enjoyed Shakespeare.What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I smile when I see happy couples and smiling children. I typically cry when I hear a sad story or sad music (Rachmaninoff). I'm not too expressive (often quite stoic), but my emotions are heavily affected by outside events/emotions of others. When my friends are happy, I am happy. People say I seem a bit melancholy and cynical, I actually conciser myself quite optimistic. Maybe its because of my squinty eyes and relaxed demeanor. I can post pictures if need be. Again, I do not come across as emotional. I've been told I'm stoic in a kind of goofy, non-serious way.Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
When I look at the stars. Seeing them makes me feel trivial, that all my problems really don't matter in the grand scheme. A quote from my favorite book: "Nothing really matters, that's the charm," author was likely an SEI in my opinion. Again, I think happiness is tied to the destruction of our egos, the vastness of nature helps with this. It makes me feel really small, and thus my worries and concerns vanish.What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I can be overly formal in conversation, I care too much what people think, I'm overly timid, and excessively philosophical and contemplative, usually unorganized, and a tad lazy (but I don't appear lazy). My LIE father says I'm extremely defensive when people criticize me. I hate criticism, and tend to hold a short lived grudge against people who criticize me. I have the worst navigational ability I've ever seen in my life. Holy shit, my man compass is entirely broken. Maybe its a static thing, but I legit get lost on an hourly basis . This is likely from complete obliviousness to my external environment (Se role or polr?).What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I've always made great impressions on people. An IEE I know says she feels like a child around me. I make a very refined, fatherly type of appearance. I tend to be pretty affable, and very compassionate. I have many random talents that seem to be innate. I have very good aesthetic taste despite being colourblind. I like my creativity and compassion above all else.In what areas of your life would you like help?
I need people to pull me out of my head and re-engage the outside world. I also tend to no goals, but lots of skill. A character from Naruto once wished himself to be a cloud, just floating aimlessly in the breeze. I've always liked that metaphor. I tend to need motivation and drive.Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
If I get overly contemplative, yes. After years of meditation, I learned to shut off my thoughts, so I typically don't have this problem anymore. I can also feel a bit directionless.What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I cannot stand rudeness. When people say "I'm not in the mood," I think this is the most narcissistic statement humanly possible. Why should you make everyone in the room miserable to conform to your shitty mood. Be nice, kind, and friendly, or stay home.How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I'm only 18, I don't really have the experience to know what I want yet. I've never really been in love, but I love to be chased. Most people I've dated just continuously chased me and I went out with them because I liked the attention.If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I'd be primarily concerned with my kids being kind, humble people, not cocky and arrogant like most kids these days. I'd like them to be polite. I wouldn't be strict father though, kind of Atticus Finch-like. I'd like them to call me Phil rather than Dad. I've always had an aversion to titles and just like to call people by their actual names.A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I'd just go with it. I have my opinions, they have theirs. I understand where they are coming from and I don't care if we disagree. I favor acceptance when it comes to other people. I have friends who disagree with me on every social and political level. A friend of mine calls me a stupid jew everyday and I typically just find it funny.Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
Society can be dangerous, so one must escape into solitude to see through it's conformity. But it is worth staying in society to protect those you love and connect with your friends. I think people are generally good. If I drop a wallet in public, it will usually find it's way back to me. I have the most compassion for African starvation, I think modern civil rights are well intentioned but a bit excessive. I think the modern feminist movement just seeks a vehicle to blame all of their problems on men. I think the US dollar is going to undergo hyperinflation and collapse soon. I'm not worried, living in a destroyed economy would seem fun
They choose me and if I like them, I contact them. My friend group claims that I add validity to their group. I don't take all the attention and am fairly quiet. I usually only make witty comments and say absurd crap. They say I seem to supervise the group, becoming kind of a patriarch. They seem to love me for this. They see me as a kind of wise, fatherly figure, and I see them as goofy, entertaining children.How do you behave around strangers?
I've always presented myself quite well. I never had issues with awkwardness (despite feeling like I do), and generally get along with everyone. People say I come across as refined, sophisticated, and very intellectual. An 80 year old Italian farmer who "sees things" described me as "highly astute." A psychic, when I first sat down said "ah! a gentle soul." Could be BS, but it resonated with me. I never take initiative, but if other people do, I don't an issue from their. I'm kind of afraid of clubs, then again, I've never been to one.
I consider myself irrational as opposed to rational. But considering I edited this post about 60 times by now, that could be delusional BS