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Thread: ENTps expressing friendship or deeper interest

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    Default ENTps expressing friendship or deeper interest

    I am pretty sure my co-worker's ENTP. How do you know when ENTPs are interested? How can you tell between friendship and a deeper interest? Any way to outsmart them?
    INFP

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    Socionics ENTp
    or MBTI ENTP?

    I'm not so sure either way. I don't know ENTp/Ps too well.

    Good luck
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Actually, if someone knows, then tell me, too.

    I'm looking for a female ENTp for my dear ISFp friend.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Those who have an interest in you kiss your ass more actively. Really, they are all nice as far as I've noticed and those I know have complemented me on my strong ethics (whatever), but it's when they go out of their way to point out your good sides that you know you have them. It can be hard to be sure, since they avoid eye contact and other things. But if you keep an eye open for you'll know. (And don't be surprised if they stretch the truth in the process.)
    INFj

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    I'm both socionics and MBTI ENTP.

    Hmmm that's a toughy. I don't think its easy to tell if I'm interested.

    A problem I run into with people I'm not interested in is that I relate really well to most people. If I'm dealing with someone who doesn't relate well to just anyone they will think I'm their 'one' simply because they relate to me so well. I'm not there one...I actually relate this well to everyone.

    I scare away very easily. I have to be ready for each escalation of the relationship or I feel pressured.

    If you can talk about theory, politics and ideas in an aware way, you have my attention at the very least. If you are creative in art and/or music...another really big bonus. Combine these all together, and I can guarantee you that regardless of what you look like, I will actually be considering you as relationship material if I'm single.

    I will first start spending a lot of time with you and asking you questions about yourself that are very analytical in nature. Its my way of assessing and getting to know you (I haven't made any decisions about you yet though).

    Some people boast themselves up to their potential mates, I actually warn them about me. I tell them my bad traits so I know they are ok with them. I'm not normally concerned with letting people know all my bad traits. I'll joke about them but if I'm kind of explaining my bad sides to you I want you to understand me....very good sign.

    I will stop spending as much time with my friends and much more time with you. If you return my interest in the same kind of way, fabulous!

    Then I'll back away a bit lol (I need to think and regroup before letting myself move to the next level - if you start pressuring me or moving to fast ...I'll bolt). I NEED a bit of mental distance at the start of a relationship. Its important to stay in casual contact with me though and just let me make the next move. It doesn't take long if its going to happen and it will be subtle. I'll start flirting a little (I'm not a flirty type of girl so this actually pretty big). If I'm even flirting with you a little, chances are I'm interested.

    I flirt by winking and giving little nudges. I start touching a bit (I'm not a touchy person unless its with someone I really care about it). I'll start telling you what a good person and catch I think you are. I don't tend to say these things unless I mean them to the opposite sex. I'm very conscientious about inadvertently leading someone on.

    When I decide I'm going to commit to you I take my relationship committments very seriously. I don't love people half way. You need to be sure that this is what you want at this stage because if you back off after I've decided (and probably thought very hard and detail about it) to make a committment to you, I will feel completely betrayed. The worst thing you can do to me is make me feel like I wasted my time on you.

    I don't hold grudges but when it comes to relationships, once someone has burned a bridge with me, that bridge usually stays burned. I will not date someone again who I felt hurt me the first time. I also don't break off relationships lightly. If I've broken up with you, it means its actually over. Once I cut my feelings off to someone they are very unlikely to return. Being jealous of an ex is not really something you have to worry about with me.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    I will stop spending as much time with my friends and much more time with you. If you return my interest in the same kind of way, fabulous!
    Yeah, I need to get one of those for my friends (ENTps). (lol, that could potentially sound bad, but I mean it in a good way)

    Since ENTp is also infantile, I assume it's the same for me, or at least related to how I feel about things. But I like that in a relationship.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Nah it's not about infantile, I am exactly like that (in that respect, not generally).
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Well my long-term friends are actually pretty used to my dissapearing acts. I kind of even warn people about it so they aren't suprised when it happens. When I get all excited about a new relationship I put my focus on it.

    I do drift back though but yeah, I tend to make my relationship my top priority.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Well my long-term friends are actually pretty used to my dissapearing acts. I kind of even warn people about it so they aren't suprised when it happens. When I get all excited about a new relationship I put my focus on it.

    I do drift back though but yeah, I tend to make my relationship my top priority.
    I have noticed the drifting. Pisses me off. I was like either stay or don't, stop popping in and out. Because once a friend's within my radar, I like to always know that they're around. *shrugs* Happens when we get into a disagreement and him drifting off only makes it worst. Then he suddenly comes back after a few weeks/months and I'm like uhmmm, open, shut, open, shut, which is it. Why would you go back though? Does the separation sorta brushes the disagreement away or what?
    INFP

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    Dreamer.... it's just how irrationals work. They have non-linear relationship development. I've seeen it several times... and numerous, numerous times with some ISFp friends over the last 4 years. J-bondings are much more straightforward, in the way that you think. Where as p bondings are sort of as Polly described. They go in, get strong, and then step back, because they worry about commitment. It is a lot like.... well....... I don't know any good examples right now, but I am sure someone else does.

    P types seem to believe that, if you love someone, and then separate, and see someone else, and then love someone again --- that means a whole lot. Often times, if it goes in a straight line, it will just get weird for them, it seems.

    p-j relationships are really something I would caution against, especially for an INFj.... but that's just me.

    http://www.socionics.com/advan/irra.htm

    I really, really like those diagrams....

    In conclusion, the difference in Judging-Perceiving causes a great deal of friction in close relationships. The irrational behaviour of Perceiving types may be unexpected and unpredictable for Judging types, creating more obstacles. In return, the rational behaviour of Judging types forces Perceiving types to follow rules, plans and schedules which will most likely make their life miserable.


    But I'm not advising against you getting together with Mr ENTP. Go ahead, and see how it works out. I just suggest you learn from it, whatever happens. Good luck
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Can't do anything right now anyway. I'm just trying to understand and on the other hand, it's fascinating to analyze, better than walking blindly around hitting people with my and not even realizing it.
    INFP

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    [
    P types seem to believe that, if you love someone, and then separate, and see someone else, and then love someone again --- that means a whole lot. Often times, if it goes in a straight line, it will just get weird for them, it seems.

    p-j relationships are really something I would caution against, especially for an INFj.... but that's just me.
    Hmm I don't know if I'd agree with that. At least with me, if I separate from someone I'm dating and start seeing someone else, its highly unlikely I will return to you. Maybe as a friend, but not as a mate.

    I take my relationship committments very seriously. I put my heart and soul into a relationship and tend to be pretty adaptable and flexible to my mate as well. If I'm popping in and out of your life, I see you as a friend...not a mate.

    For friends I prefer activity partners. I'm not always great at initiating the activities either. Mostly my friends are casual in nature. We attend parties together that kind of thing. I keep a distance between myself and anyone I don't think can handle this kind of friendship or wants more from me.

    I'm fun to have around so people tend to invite me places. If an INFj wants to be my friend then they have to understand and accept this stuff about me and not punish me for being different than they are.

    If they can do that, then we'll probably have a deep friendship, deeper than most people can have. My best friend is an INFJ (10 year friendship). We can get along for a period of time until he does something assanine and I point it out. His ego has a hard time dealing with it and we separate for awhile.

    When he's down though and needs someone who really understands him, he knows he can call me or come over. I'm never too mad at him that I would turn him away.

    Overtime, he's learned to really respect my opinion and understand that despite how we connect on one level, there are major differences and he has to be aware of them (and not blame or belittle me for them).
    Polly
    ENTp

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    If I'm popping in and out of your life, I see you as a friend...not a mate.

    Oh well. Time to move on.
    INFP

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    Eh, no, I don't particularly think that 'smiley' is cuete.

    Hey, at least you can move on and not waste any more of each others time. Seriously. I would kind of advise that anyway...

    Fear not, for there are plenty of good j types just waiting for someone like you.


    I'm fun to have around so people tend to invite me places. If an INFj wants to be my friend then they have to understand and accept this stuff about me and not punish me for being different than they are.
    That's typical j / p differences. TRUST ME. THIS is why I really, really suggest people try to find someone of the same rationality. This is why I know I cannot get together with a p type. And I don't mean to sound devicive, but... two brains working together in the same direction are a lot more peaceful and beneficial than two brains who function differently -- in the rationality dichotomy, which is most imporant IMO.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Okay. I agree.
    INFP

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    Regarding the making me feel guilty about being different, I actually think that's more of an awareness thing. I've had P types try to make me feel guilty before too for me not being as much of a feeler or an INTP just bashing my ideas because it doesn't match his facts.

    It's actually one of those things that make personality typing so useful. Even if you don't know how to categorize someone, just knowing these differences exist is helpful for any type.
    Polly
    ENTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer View Post
    How can you tell between friendship and a deeper interest? Any way to outsmart them?
    With their hidden agenda, I'm thinking it's not so easy to dissociate?
    Oddly enough, however, due to their PoLR(?) it's like they're not even aware of their feelings toward you so they're more disclosing of them. I think? That's the impression I get anyway after interacting with one recently. Can anyone correct me on this? I'm not used to reading people so well.....there's gotta be something I'm missing here!

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    Interesting, UDP. I see what you mean about rational vs. irrational types. I wouldn't say that we drive each other insane but we have definitely had our quibbles. I can remember when we were first married (over 13 years ago), my ESE husband telling me I needed to come up with a five-year plan for my career. I was slightly amused but also completely unable to do it and disinclined. He thought I was being stubborn at the time but he's learned that I just don't think that way so he doesn't say things like that anymore. I think if you're willing to put up with the differences it can be okay. I enjoy his steadiness. We just give each other space to be ourselves. I know another couple--they're INFj-ISFp and the INFj has had to learn to live with the ISFp's moods and fluctuating desires to be close/need to have his own space. They've been happily married for 20 years.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    well I dated an ENTP and he was really, really obvious. A lot of talking, eye contact, flattery, jokes, and self-boasting (in a charming way though).

    In general, with this ENTP there was no guessing. He was very assertive about making all the dates/plans and making it clear he wanted a relationship, etc. There was one point after about a month where he tried to "play it cool" and said something like "ah, I'll prob just chill this weekend" even though we'd had plans, but aside from that it was very clear.

    Also, he seemed to like doing doing big gestures to impress me and my friends, such as flowers, or anything you will tell your friends about, because they like the attention of people saying "wow he is such a great boyfriend!"

    I dated another ENTP for a short time and he was much more quiet and not as confident. But he would also say a lot of things verbally to make it clear he liked me, except he wanted to play the field it seemed. bleck.

    It seems they are pretty clear about who they like. Younger ones might not be as confident though I'd guess.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    ENTp's are filled with so much hate.

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    ... and ISFps with so much love <3
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    Which is why they're the perfect sickeningly sweet duals.


    Ugh.

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Oh go eat your gummy worms LV.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    I thought we had a good time in the chat. And this is how u treat me?

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    It's not such a harsh sentence considering you find the pairing of me and my dual repulsive.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    Quote Originally Posted by hkkmr View Post
    I try to make it very clear about who I like. But I might not voice it like explicitly.

    I don't think I am really able to be attracted to someone if they had to initiate, it's very rare that I will change my mind in the future about that sort of thing.

    I usually get a very quick initial reaction and that's sort if the way it is.
    I can relate to making it clear. I would strongly prefer just to make broad, sweeping gestures to demonstrate my interest, but I've been too conditioned to "keep it cool" all the time, because I have a tendency to come on more than a little strong.

    But I am totally open to others initiating. My tells me to be open to opportunities, and I'm able to learn to be attracted to people. In fact, it takes me quite a while to become attracted to a specific woman, which really sucks because it's a lot easier to flirt with and charm strangers than someone I know.

    JRiddy
    —————King of Socionics—————

    Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by chopin View Post
    It's not such a harsh sentence considering you find the pairing of me and my dual repulsive.
    Not repulsive per se. More like I wouldn't be able to handle 2 of you

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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    Not repulsive per se. More like I wouldn't be able to handle 2 of you
    but if the pairing is love+hate then the hate has got to water down the love and vice versa, so wouldn't ISFps on their own be more sickeningly sweet than the 2 of us together? *smiles sweetly*
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    I usually can tell pretty fast if I'm interested in someone or not - both with meeting girls and friends. And I'll make it pretty obvious who I'm interested in and who I'm not, it's like the person of interest will be in my spotlight and basically there will just be this intense flow/interchange between us - things'll seem like they're flying by and charging full steam, whereas with someone I'm not that interested in, I'll be courteous and polite, but it'll be clear that there isn't much substance behind it, and it basically ends up dying out naturally.

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