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Thread: How can an ENTp behave more like an ESTj?

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    Default How can an ENTp behave more like an ESTj?

    I want to behave more like my INFj girlfriends dual. How can I use my already strong Te and Si like an ESTj?

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    you won't be able to please her in the living room

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    Yeah I've had to work on how clean I keep the house.

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    You sound pretty pussy whipped

    Well I am assuming this thread is a joke but in the unfortunate situation it's not you could ask your gf what makes her happy instead of hoping emulating a type description and not being yourself is somehow worthwhile?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrennanWayne View Post
    Yeah I've had to work on how clean I keep the house.
    dude, it's kinda clear ..if you come here asking "how to become more ESTJ".

    go read some Kamasutra and consume lots of ginger, ginseng root, and celery if you don't have enough stamina or you're kinda boring and unimaginative or stuff. Socionics can't help you.

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    Prejudices. I ask a simple question and y'all jump to conclusions and insult me. I expected more from this site.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrennanWayne View Post
    Prejudices. I ask a simple question and y'all jump to conclusions and insult me. I expected more from this site.
    then start by telling us what doesn't seem to work in your relationship ...not by asking how to be her dual...as if only that could make someone happy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    then start by telling us what doesn't seem to work in your relationship ...not by asking how to be her dual...as if only that could make someone happy.
    Alrighty then. I just didn't want to get into all of the B.S. and kinda wanted a simple answer. We connect with our idea's Ne and enjoying experiences Si but our logic and ethics don't match up and it causes issues. I wanted someone with knowledge about how Te and Fi are used by an ESTj so I could attempt to use them in such a way when needed. Oh and nice joke about the stamina, if I had issues with sex do you think I'd be on here trying to understand Socionics related information?

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    Oh, man, you have a problem if you're trying to think and feel like an ESTj. I share those Te and Fi functions with ESTj's, so I know how they (we?) think and feel. In fact, one of my best friends is an ESTj. Great (but conventional) thinker, not so good at feelings, but his INFj wife is totally OK with that.
    I also work with an ENTp, and let me tell you, he is a great guy, definitely underutilized for the talent that he has, but he cannot think in a straight line, and really struggles to put together a plan of action. He can do it but it takes him time, and he is not confident in the process and he needs constant reassurance and encouragement to stay focused. An INFj girlfriend is not going to like that. She wants to see that done effortlessly. Plus, you have Fe and she wants Fi, and this is a bigger problem than you might at first guess. She's got enough problems herself with process thinking and confidence-in-action, she doesn't need to have to supply that to her significant other.
    If you were an ENTJ, I could tell you how to fake acting like an ESTJ. (I really do not think it is possible to fake thinking like one.) Wear a blazer, a light blue shirt, gray wool pants, shine your shoes, get a good haircut and wear a belt. (This actually works – I was in a bookstore in this ridiculous costume and an INFj girl came in and whispered to her friend “That's perfect!”) Buy an expensive house in a very good but not great part of town, landscape your yard and pay a lawn service to keep it neat, never do anything that could hurt your reputation in town, and never, ever question authority. Do all that, and you might keep her for a few more years.
    Or, you might go crazy first.
    We put the (single) ENTp in an office with a married ISFp female. I asked her how it was working out, since the ENTp is usually pretty quiet in this predominantly Gamma organization. She said, demurely, “He only talks to me.” She is also constantly telling me (reassuring herself?) that she is married to a great guy at home. What does that sound like to you?
    I know this is probably not the answer you want, but it is the answer you need. If you were thinking like an ESTj, you'd already know this.

    (Post Script):
    In retrospect, this post might be a little harsh. You two might be in durable love, and it might work out great. I hope it does. But I left the post as it is, because the post itself is an example of Te and Fi, as used by ESTj's. That is, "Discover the best practices currently in existence, eliminate the ones that in this case either lead to "most likely" bad conclusions or problems with authorities until you are left with the one most likely to succeed, then execute the plan and don't look back."
    Note that nowhere in there is there the statement "Get everyone on board before executing the plan." You can ask individuals if they think they are capable of carrying out the plan, or if they have a better idea, or if they think the plan is crazy and if so why, but that occurs in the Discovery process. Once a plan is decided upon, an ENTj will make the final decision whether to do or not do the plan, and an ESTj will do whatever it takes to carry out the plan.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 05-03-2015 at 10:38 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrennanWayne View Post
    Alrighty then. I just didn't want to get into all of the B.S. and kinda wanted a simple answer. We connect with our idea's Ne and enjoying experiences Si but our logic and ethics don't match up and it causes issues. I wanted someone with knowledge about how Te and Fi are used by an ESTj so I could attempt to use them in such a way when needed. Oh and nice joke about the stamina, if I had issues with sex do you think I'd be on here trying to understand Socionics related information?
    Fi is hardly used by an ESTJ unless you insult them and they have to go into self-defensive withdrawal for a while, so you don´t have to worry about that part.

    Te is kinda like finding the quickest and most efficient solution to problems and being very resolute in implementing it. As an ILE you probably tend to theorize and involuntarily brainstorm lots instead of having clear plans and sticking to goal.

    You still didn't give any concrete details about whatever difficulties you may be facing ...but I assure you the INFj female who's not hanging out on this site doesn't think in terms of "I want/need Te". She has her own ideas about what she values ...and for the time being from what you say she chose you​ ... cause she likes something about you, right.
    Last edited by Amber; 05-03-2015 at 10:34 PM.

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    I don't know if this is Te or Fi related, but I've never heard an ESTj talk about their sex life. They're not like ENTj's, who are much more forward, open and relaxed about this. I'm not sure how ESTj's reproduce. Fission, maybe. Or cloning. Something that is totally respectable, clean, and free of unapproved practices. Whatever it is, they're not talking about it. If you're dating an INFj, you shouldn't talk about it, either. That will be just what she expects from you.

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    How can you use your strong si? ENTp have the extremely weak si, so you will never be able to. As for Te, you can, but it's boring as fuck, and you'll never figure out what an Fi type actually wants, it's actually the last thing you'll ever think about. Plus she ignores the only thing that will really amp you up. Play your role. Not Se, your actual role.

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    Using demonstrative is like eating a whole stick of cheese. It starts OK but gets progressively harder and more energy consuming to force yourself to finish it.
    It was in the reign of George III that the aforesaid personages lived and quarrelled; good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now.

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    Oh god why, why would an ILE ever want to act like an LSE.

    Shit, I guess just never stop working on fixing up your house and ask for her advice on shit you already understand.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    well, you probably aren't dating an INFj, and, if you are, you won't be for long.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Contra View Post
    well, you probably aren't dating an INFj, and, if you are, you won't be for long.

    what a pile of brainwashed T-nonsense that absorbs a damn rudimentary model like Socionics as the sole method of understanding people.

    I recall the dude is seeing his gf for kinda 3 years. Ofc she must be actually SEI for any human interaction between them to be valid.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    what a pile of brainwashed T-nonsense that absorbs a damn rudimentary model like Socionics as the sole method of understanding people.

    I recall the dude is seeing his gf for kinda 3 years. Ofc she must be actually SEI for any human interaction between them to be valid.
    In all fairness, if he's asking questions like how do I behave like an ESTJ for my girlfriend to like me more, the odds of him mistyping her are probable.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    he´s ILE ..I guess he can´t really process his relationship properly and there´s something not-totally-rosy in there ..what could he do? ofc he tries to resort to intertype, it´s easiest for him. He probably can´t read her feelings (as with ILE and pretty much every non-Fe ...). At least he´s trying to meet her half-way and be something he thinks she might be satisfied with ...

    I don´t see any point in fellows coming here throwing assumptions that he mistyped her and causing more confusion. We don´t really know much at this point. Whatever.

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    Asking to behave like something, a type description, based on a bizarre theory, in order to somehow please a real life person is wrong on so many levels it's not even wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    what a pile of brainwashed T-nonsense that absorbs a damn rudimentary model like Socionics as the sole method of understanding people.
    What I said in no way pertains to a thinking function, and in no way does it imply using socionics as the sole method for understanding people.

    I recall the dude is seeing his gf for kinda 3 years.
    Yeah, she's not EII or he's not ILE.

    Ofc she must be actually SEI for any human interaction between them to be valid.
    That actually has nothing to do with what I said either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Contra View Post
    What I said in no way pertains to a thinking function, and in no way does it imply using socionics as the sole method for understanding people.



    Yeah, she's not EII or he's not ILE.



    That actually has nothing to do with what I said either.

    So my 7-year ex was not LSI, but LIE or I´m not ESI, right. And there was actually no bond between us. Oh and really my EII ex was also LIE. And so was my SEE ex. Or the Ne creative guy I´m seeing right now.

    Eff off. You have no clue about what people may like about each other outside Socionics ready-made text.

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    People mistype people all the time. Its totally fair to assume that he might be mis-typing her. To the question of whats the point, the point being that if there is a mistyping acting like an LSE might kill his relationship if he pulls it off. If she's a type that is likely to stay with an ILE for a long time she's probably going to not like LSE behavior more than ILE behavior. Shit, if shes been with him for 3 years, there's really no reason to change at all. The relationship is working.

    LSI, EII, SEE are all not unlikely partners for a ESI. EII is an unlikely partner for ILE. It's apples and Oranges.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If it’s a disease, it’s nobody’s fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    So my 7-year ex was not LSI, but LIE or I´m not ESI, right.
    no, those are plausible.

    And there was actually no bond between us.
    I never mentioned anything about having bonds.

    Oh and really my EII ex was also LIE. And so was my SEE ex.
    Also both within the realm of possibilities of relationships for you. I'd never make such extreme statements either.

    Or the Ne creative guy I´m seeing right now.
    Eh may not last very long if he's LII. Doesn't mean you're not dating one.

    Eff off. You have no clue about what people may like about each other outside Socionics ready-made text.
    Also a very extreme statement

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    If they cursed more and had more erotic emotions, if they manage immediate time and actions well.

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    This is complete guide to how to become LSE

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    Don't.

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    - Don't explain things to her. Just tell her what is good or bad. Conclusions. Verdicts. She will ask questions all the time, just no matter how much you explain, she will still be in doubt.
    - Be skeptical and down-to-earth - all not-so-"real" is bullshit. Don't tell them your worries and insecurities.
    - Don't emphasize things, don't try to convince her emotionally, showing how enthusiastic/excited you are. Make things appear ther are important "for some reason", preferably putting on a serious face.
    - What you say, they just take it or leave it, authenticity makes no difference, don't try to prove anything, as proofs have no impact on them - they live in a story, anyway, it does not matter. (applicable to NF types, in general)
    - Tell her what has a good effect on her; don't lie, just hide from her things that deter you from your purposes, just say what is good for you and her. Don't worry about delayed effects, unstable states. LSEs don't care, they never ask themselves "what if?", they just handle things as they come.
    - And BTW, if they can't articulate an acusation, you are clean, no matter what the effect and your purposes are. Hiding things is not breaking a law; in the Delta word, freedom is paramount, you are not required to tell your "personal" reasons. Never ask the Merry question "why?", that will make them oppose you bluntly.

    In matters of sex, keep in mind that Serious types will be turned off if you focus exclusively on them, their body or the intercourse. Don't show yourself too horny. None of these flatter them. They may feel forced, laugh at you, or label you a sexual maniac. On the contrary, make yourself appear you're busy with something else and just let it come (if it does at all, which may be frustrating). Use some undercurrent here and there. If she's into new-age shit, you both may develop some "kundalini" practices, raising your Yang energy up her spine as a regular job. Read stuff like "Ten reasons to have sex every day" or "Semen nutritional facts" when she is around, just never ask her read these, let her become curious and read from your monitor/magazine. Start some LOTR/medieval lords & ladies role-playing, your little pal may "accidentally" find himself stuck between the rock and the hard place in the rush of things. Whoops! Be creative using what she clicks with.
    Shock intuition, diamond logic.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    If they cursed more and had more erotic emotions, if they manage immediate time and actions well.
    So ILE should wear a pimp suit and become semiprofessional amateur in that field? I see the Si in that + some erotic and managerial professionalism in a same package. Cursing.. maybe there is an app for that in Google Play Store.

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    Quote Originally Posted by unsuccessfull Alphamale View Post
    So ILE should wear a pimp suit and become semiprofessional amateur in that field? I see the Si in that + some erotic and managerial professionalism in a same package. Cursing.. maybe there is an app for that in Google Play Store.
    yes hahaha…post pics

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