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Thread: SEIs: How are you attracted to ILEs?

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    pinkcanary's Avatar
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    Default SEIs: How are you attracted to ILEs?

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    Last edited by pinkcanary; 06-18-2015 at 12:17 AM.

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    I'm answering on behalf of an ILE-Ti --- SEI couple I know here.

    He was that reserved, nice, and reliable dude playing the guitar in her brother's band. She met him in a bar when a show was on. Both had already heard about each other through stories told by the brother. The SEI instantly fell for her when he first saw her irl (he prolly knew what she looked like already via fb). He slowly and stubbornly tried to get close to her, although everyone interested knew that at that point she was Fi-polr-pining for a Se/Ni Rational dude she was terribly hooked on. She is Sx first and that brings some nuances to your textbook ILE. She couldn't read what the guy wanted, he was almost 20 years older than her and very much into bdsm which he tried to impose on her when they sorta dated. It didn't work, ofc, coz my ILE friend is the sweet, imaginative, luving, natural, and cozy style all the way. I have no idea what the dude's exact type was. Prolly LSI so/sp from pics.

    The SEI literally "hunted" my ILE friend in a very covert, but deliberate way - invitations to dinner, music shows etc. She wasn't into him. Slowly she began to open up and accept his affection coz of a strange kind of effective communication between them (let's call it duality lol). She would still prefer being with the dude who took her through hell through his unreadableness and sadistic dominance, but she understood there are many kinds of affection in the world and she's engaged-to-be-married with the SEI. He basically meets her every need (expressed and unexpressed) and that makes her feel secure and reaffirms her belief that the world is beautiful. She cares for him. He luvs her random quirky unique quasi-bitchy self-centered "childlikeness" ("I've never met anyone like her before!") and she is pleased with his quasi-parental kind of dedication. If you see them without knowing the details of the (past) stories, you can easily think they are the ideal couple.

    Happy-end-of-story.
    Last edited by Amber; 04-19-2015 at 01:39 PM.

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    Also want to hear... For a friend

    Jk I'm hopeless and need all the help I can get. Also to further the topic, would the SEI girl or the ILE guy move the relationship along? does the ILE just jump infront and do a little Ne jig and Fe pokes and the SEI notices escalates the relationship and does the leg work or what?

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    <he's ready to go find his sei.

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    pinkcanary's Avatar
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    Last edited by pinkcanary; 06-18-2015 at 12:16 AM.

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    Perpetual Confusion Machine PistolShrimp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkcanary View Post
    I'm old fashioned and shy. Do you really have to pursue them?
    I wouldn't say that you have to pursue ILEs, per say. Just make yourself available and friendly around them so that they feel comfortable approaching you as they can also be shy at first. I feel like ILEs don't really -pursue- those they are interested in quite like say an SLE would. It's more like they do cutesy wacky things to make you laugh and if you don't appear to think that they're obnoxious or crazy, they'll try to get closer and maybe invite you to do cutesy wacky things with them. I'm not an SEI, but this is what I experienced with my ILE bf.

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    I don't think you have to pursue them- more like, make themselves aware of you, if they like you they will do something about it.

    if they don't like you sufficiently, maybe covert hunting or whatever can work as in, most of the ones I know have obsessive crushes over the most random people, and can be clueless about romance/whatever. so, since ILE's don't understand their own interests, if you feel that you are more sure about your interest, maybe sometimes you have to be the steadier party. that being said, don't sell out and be ready for the emotional fallout if things don't work.

    oh, why I like them: I dunno, the good ones make the world feel fuller and richer. Ne.

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    Word Definition Warrior – WDW Troll Nr 007's Avatar
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    Let's just say:
    I'm not all there myself
    ~Cheshire Cat
    They love this beating around the bush attitude.

    SEIs should make the initiation. At least I'm unsure of my needs and relations to others. While I can be active I don't want to be directly possessive. I can carry on when something is established. There are plenty of SEIs who have followed me but never carried on and I didn't do it because I wasn't sure of anything.
    Last edited by Troll Nr 007; 04-25-2015 at 08:30 AM.

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    I basically had the exact same experience as unsuccessfull alpha, I never know if people like me or not, so unless they're extremely noticeably acting out, I won't notice. I had a bunch of SEI following me around, but I didn't notice, then after we went our seperate ways never to see each other again, I'd realize what was up. I met one SEI before really knowing about socionics, and she was forward, and it worked out really really well, now I'm actively searching because I understand but you can't expect a random ILE to do the same.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RedMarquee View Post
    Jk I'm hopeless and need all the help I can get. Also to further the topic, would the SEI girl or the ILE guy move the relationship along? does the ILE just jump infront and do a little Ne jig and Fe pokes and the SEI notices escalates the relationship and does the leg work or what?
    I don't think the gender matters.

    In my case, I moved the relationship along (ILE). I saw him, wanted him, picked him, and have been moving us along ever since.

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