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Thread: Fi PoLR

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    Default Fi PoLR

    Tell me about. How does it manifest? Does it hate my guts? How do I not hit it? What to do if I do hit it? Protect ALL the PoLRs!
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    The sleeping beauty Velvet's Avatar
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    Give them immediate reaction/response/attention and reassure them about the sincerity of your deepest feelings.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Lol I think you're dating an lsi

    Fi as Vulnerable Function (SLE, ILE)The individual does not normally pay attention to the nuances of interpersonal relationships; he is either overly suspicious or overly assuming of his relations with others when they are not clearly defined. More importance is given to these relations as they pertain to objective mutual benefit; entertaining one another and accomplishing mutual goals are seen as the main focus, rather than seeing the relationships as rewarding in and of themselves. The individual does not expect others to be actively aware or concerned with his own personal sentiments, and so sees little reason to be concerned with those of others, unless they have direct consequences for the individual. Statements by other persons reflecting their inner feelings are not fully registered by the individual if not accompanied by external emotional expression or actions. Suggestions that the individual may have acted unethically in the eyes of another person who has not clearly expressed disapproval are met with bafflement by the individual; those that are expressed without tact are either dismissed or reacted to aggressively. Expressions of deep personal sentiments are awkward for the individual, whether coming from another or himself. He does not see it as his "right" to place the burden of his true emotions on another, both because he knows how uncomfortable those of others make him (even when they are positive and genuine), and because of his own awkwardness in expressing them.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Fi as Role Function (LSI, LII)The individual recognizes the existence and importance of personal relationships, so he is usually cautious at first about offending others if he does not know them well. To minimize this risk he adheres somewhat simplistically to the relevant social conventions (e.g. political correctness). However, if taken too far this produces stress, as it inhibits his natural introverted logic (Ti) inclination to voice exactly what his thoughts are on a given issue or situation, with the expectation that others will appreciate his straightforwardness, rather than accusing him of being insensitive. This caution gradually disappears as he gets to know people better. He prefers to develop relationships indirectly with others based on open conversation and common activities, and only reveals his innermost personal feelings to those he has known for a long time. He may become confused and suspicious if they are directly solicited by others.

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    Haikus
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    wow, so much relationship insight copy-pasted from socionics sites

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Lol I think you're dating an lsi
    Noooooo.

    @Person, I liked your post.
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim View Post
    Tell me about. How does it manifest? Does it hate my guts? How do I not hit it? What to do if I do hit it? Protect ALL the PoLRs!
    Mmm for me Fi polr manifest in that I only have 2 modes of trust, one complete, the other broken. I also have abandonment issues which make it very easy for me to lose trust. I also blurt out whatever's on my mind to people I care about, it can be shocking, hurtful but it's also true. This is probably the easiest way for me to polr hit myself, these days I almost immediately regret it. I need someone who forgives me for it.

    Probably the biggest thing for me is kindness and forgiveness, someone silently holding a grudge or silently wanting to hurt me is intolerable. I think Fi polr's are very fragile in relationship areas and basically need someone with patience/kindness/tolerance. AKA XEI's.

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    observations from experiences with an ILE teenage friend of mine:

    - huge trust issues due to difficulties with coping with failed relationships and working through feelings

    - bouncing between opposing scenarios and moods. looks a bit bipolar if you wanna be cynical about it. she either gets overly enthusiastic about a (potential) relationship, or falls in the pits of despair due to an inability to reach a healthy balance of trust by herself

    - says stuff I could hardly utter in a social context to and about ppl I consider to be close e.g. brings up creepy details shared by a friend in a convo ("oh, that's the dude she told me about. she said he's pretty good in bed"). wtf

    - can get abusive with ppl due to her need to see lots of Fe . now she's in a ltr with a SEI and he seems to tolerate it coz he luvs her

    - difficulty in grasping "essentials" of someone's personality/character that are independent of her and her relationship with them - e.g. has no clue about someone's taste and deeper preferences in life, stuff that colors most of their choices etc. doesn't easily understand who likes whom and why or the kind of stuff that enlivens or stifles ppl to the core.

    - literally doesn't know what ppl feel unless they verbally or facially express it

    - has a very basic "moral compass", so to speak ...hardly ever judges stuff as right vs wrong


    in SLE it's quite similar, just that it often takes the form of frivolity.
    or coupled with weak Ni it prevents them from knowing what can happen in a relationship in the future or what someone can do (see betrayal of trust - hard to distinguish friend from enemy and so forth). it's not easy to gauge the status of a relationship, but since they're Se dominants, they are more often than not the ones who "work" towards one goal or another, so that's not as big a deal as in ILE.
    Last edited by Amber; 04-12-2015 at 02:55 AM.

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    The biggest hurdle with Fi types is they have these weird expectations of things I need to do to let them know I care, or I should know how I'm treating them and why they're pissed.

    Without fail, these things are always things that slip my mind always. Unless I'm told, I just continue holding what I think the relationship is unless I get polrpwnd

    3 relationship states random friend, devotion and burned bridge. If someone comes to me and sincerly requests something, as long as I haven't tried to cut ties I'll try to do it. Again vocal requests lol. But I'm super kind and mountain moving if you ask.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    - says stuff I could hardly utter in a social context to and about ppl I consider to be close e.g. brings up creepy details shared by a friend in a convo ("oh, that's the dude she told me about. she said he's pretty good in bed"). wtf
    Does she bring up these details to you while it's only the two of you there? Or in public e.g. in an entire group?


    - literally doesn't know what ppl feel unless they verbally or facially express it
    How do you know without expression? I don't read between lines like that for sure. Is that just what you do?

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    Quote Originally Posted by RedMarquee View Post
    3 relationship states random friend, devotion and burned bridge.
    Interesting, that's for sure even weaker Fi than mine, I'm aware of more states than that, not that I pay much attention.

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedMarquee View Post
    The biggest hurdle with Fi types is they have these weird expectations of things I need to do to let them know I care, or I should know how I'm treating them and why they're pissed.

    Without fail, these things are always things that slip my mind always. Unless I'm told, I just continue holding what I think the relationship is unless I get polrpwnd

    3 relationship states random friend, devotion and burned bridge. If someone comes to me and sincerly requests something, as long as I haven't tried to cut ties I'll try to do it. Again vocal requests lol. But I'm super kind and mountain moving if you ask.
    This

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    Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
    Does she bring up these details to you while it's only the two of you there? Or in public e.g. in an entire group?




    How do you know without expression? I don't read between lines like that for sure. Is that just what you do?
    hey, myst ...


    yes, she brings up that kind of (intimately shared by a "friend") details in front of a whole group ...for the sake of Fe HA appreciation on a surface level ... she can understand why her acts were immoral if u explain it to her, but she'd do it again anytime. Ti creative Ep, man.

    yes, that's what I usually do -- and what I consider to be the most reliable info about ppl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    hey, myst ...

    yes, she brings up that kind of (intimately shared by a "friend") details in front of a whole group ...for the sake of Fe HA appreciation on a surface level ... she can understand why her acts were immoral if u explain it to her, but she'd do it again anytime. Ti creative Ep, man.
    I see, wow so no awareness of what is considered private information?... I have awareness of that, so guess this fits Role Fi for me over PoLR, though I might do this sort of thing if I mistakenly assume something's not that private* but not in front of an entire group. Perhaps if the mood was extremely good or something but I don't see that likely.

    *: real private stuff I do take seriously


    yes, that's what I usually do -- and what I consider to be the most reliable info about ppl.
    Our notions of what's reliable differ lol

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    i think sles can totally have awareness of what is private information. they are capable of strategy after all. some information needs to be kept on a need to know basis so as to be well wielded later. i don't think fi has a monopoly on understanding the concept of private or sensitive info. although there can always be individuals of any type who disregard these things for whatever reason.

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    I'm not sure if its Ne or Te, but I can assess what will be a bad idea to bring up. Once I was doing promotional work to hand out prizes and get pictures of people so the company knew we weren't just chucking them in the trash. We approached a girl, and everything in the interaction suggested asking for a picture was bad news bears to me. My ExTx coworker then proceeded to ask. She kind of freaked out, gave all the prizes back and ran off.

    That's something I can do in relation to opinions and stuff, I can assess whether information, ideas or actions will jive with people. Or something. Like I know bashing Christianity will create issues with a guy in my class because he's super devout. SLE buddy also is aware of this so it my be demonstrative actually.

    I grew up getting destroyed by Fi leads so I'm a little less likely to just randomly blurt stuff out in groups, but I definitely am aware generally who it will affect and how. I'm not going to talk about how incompetent Mark is in front of Mark, or marks friends who will tell him, but if I know it won't reach him I'll blurt it out. Same with like any information, regardless of how touchy it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RedMarquee View Post
    That's something I can do in relation to opinions and stuff, I can assess whether information, ideas or actions will jive with people. Or something. Like I know bashing Christianity will create issues with a guy in my class because he's super devout. SLE buddy also is aware of this so it my be demonstrative actually.
    Actually, anyone would be aware of that, that's a very basic example. It's kinda too obvious in your face, the guy being so super devout. Well if the guy is in the background I may not think of him at that moment. But talking to him and bashing his religion.. I don't think it takes much intelligence to put two and two together

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    Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
    Actually, anyone would be aware of that, that's a very basic example. It's kinda too obvious in your face, the guy being so super devout. Well if the guy is in the background I may not think of him at that moment. But talking to him and bashing his religion.. I don't think it takes much intelligence to put two and two together
    Yeah this is like reciting sexist jokes at a feminist convention.

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