How does Sp/Sx do it?
Or any Sx-first who works a shitty job. My experience with focusing on sp is that it sucks the life out of you. The two drives (sp and Sx) seem almost mutually exclusive. It's a mindfuck. How are you striking that balance between the two? Whats your life like?
Last edited by suedehead; 04-08-2015 at 01:14 AM.
I haven't struck a balance. When I'm taking care of home, nutrition, family, etc, i'm bored and want to turn my mind to something more interesting, something I can sink my mind into. But when I'm pursuing a hobby, researching something, trying out something new, I go all out into it. But my house, family, nutrition, etc keep interferring, demanding my attention. Kind of like a coin...only one side can be up at any moment.
It would be significantly easier if I was an S type, I think. Or an EJ. Basically a type where my passion IS my physical surroundings, health, etc. My ESE neighbor is very much into keeping her home clean, feeding her family right, and spends all her "free" time crafting for sales. My LSE neighbor loves to decorate her home, remodel, and refurbish things. They both roll their eyes at me when I jump into a new idea, do things completely different from "tradition" (like my gardening efforts), and show them the book pile I'm reading. They won't discuss anything not-physical with me, so I have no one to bounce ideas off of. And when I do share something related to garden/health/home, and I try talking about the underlying principles involved in whatever, they roll their eyes again and accuse me of overanalyzing.
As for working at shitty jobs...I'm not an example to follow. I often bounced from job to job, quickly getting bored before quiting and searching for something new. Unfortunately, this isn't good for the resume and eventually took its toll. This might have gone better if I had been boy-crazy instead of getting bored too easily. Also maybe if i had only 1-2 passions, rather than "taste-testing" everything I could.
IEE 649 sx/sp cp
sp/sx
It helps to have a job that satisfies my intellectual curiosity and dovetails into my interests. I'd fail and/or commit suicide if there was no channel for my creative outlet, though I'm rather fond of grueling physical labour because I see it as a chance to stay fit. I'm predisposed to taking on work that I don't like from an occasional need to delay gratification, which may or may not have an Enneagram connexion.
...
Other than that, lack of focus on so stuff is what has consistently fucked me over at work. It's impossible for me to form impersonal life-term connections or conceivably want to. I've either purposely or inadvertently burned all my bridges with people: my LinkedIn profile has 0 contacts.
I've never felt a shared sense of purpose with any group. It takes me forever to warm up to most people and only by default, via some primate social-bonding instinct. Although I find the idea that someone can accede to a group identity intriguing from an intellectual and experiential perspective, I take immense pleasure from generating a product entirely by my own design without the dubious benefit of reciprocal social exchange, a tendency which militates against the very idea of a uniform division of labor.
Side note: you should always burn your bridges, you never know who might be following you.
Last edited by xerx; 04-09-2015 at 01:01 AM.
^Aha, I liked that bit :)Originally Posted by xerx
Yes, it seems like it's important to maintain a creative outlet or project that you can continuously grow. While at the same time, not having that project interfere (at least interfere very little) with your personal space and personal needs.
I think, this is probably not going to be very helpful because my self-preservational instinct feels very close to me. It doesn't feel like it sucks the life out of me, actually the opposite. It feels more like self-empowerment. Focus. "Looking out for number one." Preserving and building up self. Therefore it feels more vitalizing. Integrating things that strenghten you and rejecting things that might harm you. Sexual Instinct feels very much contained. I can whip it out, if I feel like it, but it feels more compressed, directed high energy at times, but it's not priority #1. Really, I think I'm much more fucked by my weak focus on the social instinct and the consequences that can come up.
Note: I relate to the ascetic sp/sx description from here [x]. See "mute sx". Maybe that's why I don't feel much conflict between sp and sx? And people who have higher sx, feel the conflict much stronger? idk
i really relate to this nutshell point:
things that take me from this are things i perceive as draining the life out of me... and i haven't done well with arranging my life to support this tendency/preference of mine. so i have a bad arrangement/set-up, which is reverberating through the rest of my life/person. i feel like i'm solving the problem in my head slowly, but maybe i just feel that way and nothings really happening. i don't believe that though.sp/sx -
Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.
yes! That's one of my favorite descriptions, inumbra.
sp/sx -
Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.
IEE 649 sx/sp cp
Bump.
Anything familiar makes me restless and it feels like my physical limitations only hold me back from something better. I don't derive any fulfillment from nesting.
If you dont feel any fulfillment from nesting, dont nest.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
Most of the things I do feel half-assed, and the closest I can relate to what you wrote is a sense of stimulation or momentum when I'm lifting weights, listening to edm music, boxing or photography on a really good day. I feel like I'm fiending for it though. I'm probably getting a job so I can do boxing training 3 days a week.
How does passion and intensity feel for you? @Starfall For me there's usually a certain threshold that's never really reached with my hobbies. The most I ever get is physical stimulation or a feeling that's sorts of like 'fuck, I have to keep doing this', but never anything truly emotional or spiritual, or it's barely scratching the surface of it.
Last edited by suedehead; 04-24-2015 at 01:51 AM.
you once asked me why I think you're E7>E6.
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