View Poll Results: Who has it easier?

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15. You may not vote on this poll
  • Men

    10 66.67%
  • Women

    2 13.33%
  • Men -- only by a little

    1 6.67%
  • Women -- only by a little

    0 0%
  • They're equal

    2 13.33%
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Thread: Who has it easier - men or women?

  1. #1
    xerx's Avatar
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    Default Who has it easier - men or women?

    ... on the whole.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    The sleeping beauty Velvet's Avatar
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    Maybe there is an option missing: none.

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    xerx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet View Post
    Maybe there is an option missing: none.
    "They're equal"
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    At one point I realized that "a loser" is a gendered concept, at least in my mind.

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    The one who was born healthy, rich, and good-looking.


    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    I'm with @Velvet.

    Life is hard. For everyone. Living is hard. There is no such thing as "easy". But luckily we're all capable of dealing with "hard things", overcoming them, and prevailing. You did so when you emerged from the womb and didn't die. You did so when you learned to sit up. You did so when you learned to walk. You did so when you couldn't have someone else's belongings that you wanted really bad, or when someone else took something of yours. I could keep going forever. My point is, nobody has it "easy" or "easier" in life, and people shouldn't covet that. Overcoming hardships makes one a better person and contributes to one's self-esteem.
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    Men but I still live with a sense of being lowly and disposable. I'm also pretty sure I have body dysmorphia and I've lived through a decade of cognitive dissonance as a result of being an emotional, low testosterone male with a sex drive. Do you know what it's like to be 20 and still have a soft voice? Most of it is mental, but I developed this mindset for a reason (low testosterone), and I'm pretty sure I would've been killed off/celibate/cuckolded if I lived 10,000 years ago.
    Have you seen a doctor for low T? If that is what you have it is treatable.


    What causes low testosterone (Low-T)
    Reader Stories



    Some of the conditions that can lead to a low level are:

    • Obesity
    • Diabetes (type 2)
    • Chronic medical conditions (especially liver or kidney disease)
    • Hormonal disorders
    • Infections Continue Reading

    Medically Reviewed by a Doctor on 1/29/2015

    http://www.healthline.com/health/low...igns#Overview1

    I think this article may refer to people born that way. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypogonadism

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    may's Avatar
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    Just want to say: I don't think that's something that needs to be medicated.

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    To elaborate, from stuff he writes in his posts, he sounds like a pretty viable person for the most part.
    I just think putting medication or sometimes even therapy on the table, as a stock answer, is not really appropriate in a lot of cases.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    I'm with @Velvet.

    Life is hard. For everyone. Living is hard. There is no such thing as "easy". But luckily we're all capable of dealing with "hard things", overcoming them, and prevailing. You did so when you emerged from the womb and didn't die. You did so when you learned to sit up. You did so when you learned to walk. You did so when you couldn't have someone else's belongings that you wanted really bad, or when someone else took something of yours. I could keep going forever. My point is, nobody has it "easy" or "easier" in life, and people shouldn't covet that. Overcoming hardships makes one a better person and contributes to one's self-esteem.
    Life can be hard but I, personally, can't deny that there are some people that have it easier than others. I would never compare my hardships to those living through famine and war, or even to a homeless person, with schizophrenia, who has no one that cares. When a therapist diagnosed me with PTSD a couple years ago. I found another therapist. My conscience would not let me take on a label that was originally given to people who had survived war and had some of the worst sensory and emotional trauma imaginable.

    I have to keep things in perspective. I have money, a car, a home and I look okay I have also been homeless (due to my choices when fucked up mentally) and I have not had an easy life but not having to worry about such things probably makes mine easy in comparison to the homeless I know who also deal with traumatic experiences and have nothing or no one to help them.

    I also have an advantage by being naturally optimistic and able to get over my tragedies and traumas. A lot of people do not have the ease of letting go of past abuse and traumas like me. I am thankful for my many advantages regardless of the fucked up stuff I have experienced. I am thankful I was born into a supportive family, regardless of how fucked up they are.

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  11. #11
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    I eat 3 eggs a day and lift 3-4 days a week. It runs deeper than that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    Life can be hard but I, personally, can't deny that there are some people that have it easier than others. I would never compare my hardships to those living through famine and war, or even to a homeless person, with schizophrenia, who has no one that cares. When a therapist diagnosed me with PTSD a couple years ago. I found another therapist. My conscience would not let me take on a label that was originally given to people who had survived war and had some of the worst sensory and emotional trauma imaginable.

    I have to keep things in perspective. I have money, a car, a home and I look okay I have also been homeless (due to my choices when fucked up mentally) and I have not had an easy life but not having to worry about such things probably makes mine easy in comparison to the homeless I know who also deal with traumatic experiences and have nothing or no one to help them.

    I also have an advantage by being naturally optimistic and able to get over my tragedies and traumas. A lot of people do not have the ease of letting go of past abuse and traumas like me. I am thankful for my many advantages regardless of the fucked up stuff I have experienced. I am thankful I was born into a supportive family, regardless of how fucked up they are.
    Sure but many people dont really want to be pitied."Hardship" is highly subjective to the individual, so I'm speaking on a very personal level, referring to each person in their own subjective bubble. That's why i think the answer to the OP's question is neither. I'm not referring to judging others hardships or empathy, or sympathy.

    To reinforce my point about subjective perception of hardship, in reference to something that has been brought up in this thread as an obvious gender difference and so-called "hardship" for women -- childbirth. While men may see it as a severe hardship that women have to go through, it's a fact of life, been going on since the beginning of time, and women do just fine giving birth to children. Yes it hurts, it may last a day or two, but do women truly see it as the hardship that men perceive it to be? I say, some might, some might not.
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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    @suedehead Yes to what Aylen said, there could be something biological you could get corrected. But just to add a bit on to that, you can increase your testosterone some naturally by changing diet & workout out. Eating eggs can help increase testosterone. And lifting at the gym, especially a good leg day workout, will have your body pumping out testosterone.
    @suedehead, if you're worried about your T level, you should go get your levels checked. If your T is really truly low, it can be easily replaced.
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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by May View Post
    Just want to say: I don't think that's something that needs to be medicated.
    In some people it does need to be medicated.
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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by May View Post
    To elaborate, from stuff he writes in his posts, he sounds like a pretty viable person for the most part.
    I just think putting medication or sometimes even therapy on the table, as a stock answer, is not really appropriate in a lot of cases.
    Actually, low testosterone can absolutely make men sluggish and depressed (among other things, including lower bone strength & increased risk of fractures). Of course sluggishness and depression are nonspecific symptoms, but if due to low testosterone, replacement is a must.
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    Quote Originally Posted by May View Post
    Just want to say: I don't think that's something that needs to be medicated.
    If it is caused by a medical condition, like infection, then it might need to be medicated. If the issue is severe enough for him to worry about then I suggest he be checked out for possible underlying conditions. Without a simple blood test he has no way of knowing if his T is lower than average or if he has a contributing factors.

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  17. #17
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    If my F level is low, can I have that replaced?
    F is shorthand for cortisol. and yes you can have that easily replaced as well. Hopefully you're not adrenally insufficient but if you are, it's also a must.
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    it's just: medication doesn't exist in a vacuum. I want to caution against advising it without full knowledge of the situation. @Suz

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by May View Post
    it's just: medication doesn't exist in a vacuum. I want to caution against advising it without full knowledge of the situation. @Suz
    well sure... that's why we are not prescribing T for our suedehead here... we are encouraging him to see someone to get his T levels checked
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    Also, while doctors are there to treat you and help you, I think especially in the US, the burden is on the patient to supervise a lot of their own treatment.
    I'm not saying he shouldn't do it. I'm just saying to maybe not talk about it as a straightforward solution.

    I know, yall mean well :)

  21. #21
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by May View Post
    Also, while doctors are there to treat you and help you, I think especially in the US, the burden is on the patient to supervise a lot of their own treatment.
    Oh... you're absolutely right. That's a good thing though.

    But if his T levels really are low, there IS a very straightforward (and important) solution for that. The thing is that his T levels might NOT be low, in which case the question will be, is there something else organic going on (like low thyroid, anemia, adrenal insufficiency, etc), which also have their own straightforward solutions. If not, then as you said, the solution might not be so straightforward.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    Sure but many people dont really want to be pitied."Hardship" is highly subjective to the individual, so I'm speaking on a very personal level, referring to each person in their own subjective bubble. That's why i think the answer to the OP's question is neither. I'm not referring to judging others hardships or empathy, or sympathy.

    To reinforce my point about subjective perception of hardship, in reference to something that has been brought up in this thread as an obvious gender difference and so-called "hardship" for women -- childbirth. While men may see it as a severe hardship that women have to go through, it's a fact of life, been going on since the beginning of time, and women do just fine giving birth to children. Yes it hurts, it may last a day or two, but do women truly see it as the hardship that men perceive it to be? I say, some might, some might not.
    Not sure where "pity" came in but I understand your point. I am not above using pms as an excuse for volatile behavior. Not what I would call a hardship but definitely an inconvenience and for some women way more debilitating than others. Like I said, I am an optimist that wants to keep things in perspective. I tend to view things outside myself from a global perspective .I view myself as individual who can discern and put my experiences into perspective.I was taught to think of others when I want to complain about my life. Doesn't always work in the midst of a crisis though. hahah Pms and most pain can skew my perspective. I am one of the "bad" cases but not all the time. Hormones suck. Physical pain sucks. I would rather have emotional pain any day of the week but that's just me.

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  23. #23
    may's Avatar
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    I still... have to disagree with you there. But that gets into a philosophical difference that I don't think I have the energy to get into right now..
    So we can just chalk it up to a difference of opinion? :) @Suz

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    The sleeping beauty Velvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    "They're equal"
    There is a semantic difference between those, and equal where and about what?
    This is not specific enough in my opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet View Post
    There is a semantic difference between those, and equal where and about what?
    This is not specific enough in my opinion.
    I had the same exact thought.
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    Quote Originally Posted by May View Post
    Also, while doctors are there to treat you and help you, I think especially in the US, the burden is on the patient to supervise a lot of their own treatment.
    I'm not saying he shouldn't do it. I'm just saying to maybe not talk about it as a straightforward solution.

    I know, yall mean well
    I think I know where you are coming from but maybe not. My sister (EII) was studying to become a holistic health practitioner. She was anti-medication, in favor of all "natural" herbs and alternative treatment. Her husband got lung cancer. They spent over $50,000 treating him by alternative methods. Traveling to NYC every week to buy his medicinal teas. He just got worse. By the time he agreed to chemo, two years later, it was too late because the cancer had metastasized right to his brain. They tried radiation at that point but there was nothing that could be done. I am not against alternative treatment but we live in a time where some things can be treated with medication. It is up to an individual to make that choice. I did not suggest a blood test as a straightforward solution. I suggested it so he could find out if he even has low T since it is a cause of stress for him.

    My sister gave up her interest in alternative medicine because of her situation. She still takes herbs and whatever but she is now open to a holistic approach which includes medical doctors and treatments.

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    I don't think it's possible to fully treat it when even water bottles and most meats are laced with estrogen. I have a short ring finger too, so I've been marked with low testosterone levels since birth and it's a scientific fact that this makes me less attractive to women. Even looking at my dad, it makes sense that I would end up this way since he's grumpy and passive-aggressive.
    Last edited by suedehead; 04-02-2015 at 05:55 PM.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    I don't think it's possible to fully treat it when even water bottles and most meats are laced with estrogen. I have a short ring finger too, so I've been marked with this since birth.
    First of all, most things that go through your gut pass through the liver first so even if there are trace amounts of estrogen in food, it gets metabolized out of your body before it even reaches your bloodstream to function as a hormone.

    Secondly, believe it or not, estrogen is important for men. Men convert a portion of testosterone to estrogen as part of their normal physiology. In fact a recent NEJM study suggested that in the setting of low testosterone, it's the consequent estrogen deficiency that may be to blame for the lower sexual function and increased body fat %.

    http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1206168

    so, it is possible to fully treat low T, even if the food supply is "estrogen-laced". But that doesn't mean low T is your issue necessarily. Finger length is not a way we diagnose low T. A bunch of physical exam findings can be relevant, but not that, as far as I know.
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    Ah, that sounds really horrible. I'll reassure you that I am not exactly into-into holistic regimes either. @Aylen

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    If I got to choose, I'd be a naturally masculine male with some dark triad traits. Like legit antisocial personality. When you're a guy like me, you're just in this weird limbo where you might as well be non-existent. Every experience you have as an insecure, inadequate male is demeaning. You have female coworkers your age who condescend you and talk to you like you're a baby. You don't even want to open your mouth because all that comes out is an effeminate whimper. Nobody respects you. Only women get you hard, but you have to live with the fact that you'd have better success if you were gay.
    Last edited by suedehead; 04-02-2015 at 06:31 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I think I know where you are coming from but maybe not. My sister (EII) was studying to become a holistic health practitioner. She was anti-medication, in favor of all "natural" herbs and alternative treatment. Her husband got lung cancer. They spent over $50,000 treating him by alternative methods. Traveling to NYC every week to buy his medicinal teas. He just got worse. By the time he agreed to chemo, two years later, it was too late because the cancer had metastasized right to his brain. They tried radiation at that point but there was nothing that could be done. I am not against alternative treatment but we live in a time where some things can be treated with medication. It is up to an individual to make that choice. I did not suggest a blood test as a straightforward solution. I suggested it so he could find out if he even has low T since it is a cause of stress for him.

    My sister gave up her interest in alternative medicine because of her situation. She still takes herbs and whatever but she is now open to a holistic approach which includes medical doctors and treatments.
    absolutely, aylen. I am all for natural and avoiding meds when they are not necessary, and one of my huge passions in life (that i have yet to tackle in any significant way) is about rediscovering what traditional herbal medical practices modern medicine might be missing out on.

    I'll also be the first one to say, we too often overmedicate people unnecessarily. HOWEVER, let us not forget that for many diseases, modern medicine has been a blessing. I think as generations move forward, it becomes all too easy to forget how many people died of diseases even as recently as a century ago, that modern medicine can cure, prevent, ameliorate in this day and age. Back then, many people also suffered a handicapped life from conditions that are now easily treatable in the present day.

    so, to say "medications are bad" or "allopathic medicine is bad" is too much of an oversimplification. I certainly understand some people might have some disgruntlement with modern medicine, perhaps related to personal experiences or seeing their friends or family members go through something, but for every one patient in such a situation, there are multiple patients who have benefitted from medicine in its present form.

    Going back and trying to resurrect more natural treatments should not mean reliquishing all the advancements that have been made.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I think I know where you are coming from but maybe not. My sister (EII) was studying to become a holistic health practitioner. She was anti-medication, in favor of all "natural" herbs and alternative treatment. Her husband got lung cancer. They spent over $50,000 treating him by alternative methods. Traveling to NYC every week to buy his medicinal teas. He just got worse. By the time he agreed to chemo, two years later, it was too late because the cancer had metastasized right to his brain. They tried radiation at that point but there was nothing that could be done. I am not against alternative treatment but we live in a time where some things can be treated with medication. It is up to an individual to make that choice. I did not suggest a blood test as a straightforward solution. I suggested it so he could find out if he even has low T since it is a cause of stress for him.

    My sister gave up her interest in alternative medicine because of her situation. She still takes herbs and whatever but she is now open to a holistic approach which includes medical doctors and treatments.
    That is hilarious.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    If I got to choose, I'd be a naturally masculine male with some dark triad traits. Like legit antisocial personality.
    Dont wish antisocial personality upon yourself. Believe me, it's not attractive or special in any way. Its repulsive and hurts a lot of people.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    Dont wish antisocial personality upon yourself. Believe me, it's not attractive or special in any way. Its repulsive and hurts a lot of people.
    It gets you through the door and it turns a lot of women on. If I were ASPD then the repercussions wouldn't bother me.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    It gets them through the door and it turns a lot of women on. If I were ASPD the repercussions wouldn't bother me.
    Depends on what kind of women you want to turn on i guess...and well, if the repercussions dont bother you, maybe you are ASPD already.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suz View Post
    Depends on what kind of women you want to turn on i guess...and well, if the repercussions dont bother you, maybe you are ASPD already.
    Who would I be hurting? There are degrees to it and I'm sure a lot of them have some degree of self-control. And yes, I think a lack of, or decrease of empathy and sensitivity would make my life better so make of that what you want.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    Who would I be hurting? There are degrees to it and I'm sure a lot of them have some degree of self-control. And yes, I think a lack of, or decrease of empathy and sensitivity would make my life better so make of that what you want.
    well based on what you said here and in your previous post, it appears you already have a lack of empathy/sensitivity. So i guess you've already reached your great aspiration there. Congrats.
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    In my opinion males have it easier when you make a final calculation - not by much in western cultures anymore, but still. It's not even close elsewhere in the world.

    Would never switch genders, I love being a woman, although I might be better off with my personality as a male. All in all, I have no right to complain about my life compared to other people and it's counterproductive to think about things that could be but aren't (for me personally, not as a fight for gender equality in general).

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    Men definitely have it easier when it comes to pissing outside.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Esaman View Post
    That is hilarious.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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