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Aggressors that are pussies.
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Last edited by suedehead; 04-08-2016 at 04:56 PM.
Having se in ego doesn't mean you are a superman, it's not an advantage just a way you see the world. Aggressors think of pursuit, victims think of being pursued
There are certainly advantages to Se ego that do not necessarily include throwing sex partner up against a wall (ouch!)
Originally Posted by aixelsyd
There are certainly advantages to Se ego that do not necessarily include throwing sex partner up against a wall (ouch!
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Naw, its what keeps us alive.Dang Beta NFs. Its what ails ya!
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
It's not like you even think of perusing in some kind of conscious, hunter and prey kind of form. You just that want to see them again and can understand at a gut level that you are the one that needs to facilitate that happening. That could look like anywhere from making yourself available to them, to moving the pieces in your life around to make room for their presence, to standing firmly in your desire to be with them, even when they put out some 'trouble'. Romantically and sexually it also looks like an ability to separate yourself from them briefly in order to, I hate to use the word objectify, but perhaps better yet, objectify the situation more then them as a person. The introverted aggressors are a WHOLE other beast then the extroverts as well.
Objectification is necessary.
Also, its far easier in my experience to be some kind of aggressor initially in a bar, pub, night club setting. As well as a more public setting such as a grocery store, campground, and sometimes cafe, then it is to be an aggressor at school. This is because school comes with many more social conventions then some other setting. She may or may not reciprocate your interest, or on the other side, it may complicate hers and yours school life. It might not also be the most appropriate time to explore something with her.
So instead of calling yourself a pussy, you should better yet congratulate yourself on having the inner wisdom to first feel out the situation over the course of time, making sure you are certain that an advance will not jeopardize any factor in your life, large or small. You might also want to feel proud of the fact that you are not some blundering Se base ego, but a more thoughtful, reflective person who is entirely capable and adept at seeing the subtle nuances before making some kind of move romantically. (If in fact striking up some kind of relationship could be considered 'making a move' - so tacky this popular line of thinking).
In regards to ISFj, keep in mind they are a carefree type, meaning experimentation is the main stay of your personality. In other words, you need to try it out before you get good at anything. I can't even remember the amount of times I have faced some sort of rejection before I became immune to them. Those were always hard in the first place because I would rather not take the initiative and in doing so on numerous occasions I put myself out there and received nothing in return except a lesson.
Overall, in my experience I would say just go for it. If it works great, if it doesn't, then at least you don't regret, nor are left wondering "what if?" (ISFj weak spot)
I'm sorry, but not entirely. Objectification has too many negative connotations and doesn't really capture the essence of socionic aggression, at least not for the Se blocked with Fi egos in gamma.
That wasn't a socionics statement.
Ah, my bad. So you want to explain it maybe?
It's not like you even think of perusing in some kind of conscious, hunter and prey kind of form. You just that want to see them again and can understand at a gut level that you are the one that needs to facilitate that happening.
not that cynical as in hunter and prey, but the drive to "push them against a wall" should come very naturally with Se ego.
I suggest that the OP should type Ni/Ne ego. I promise I'll try to pretend I see some substance in what he says.
Oh, and you have personal experience with driving someone up the wall? Your knowledge sounds theory based and thus not multi-faceted enough for my liking.
my comment wasn't meant to be "to your liking".
of course I do. And all the Se egos I've been with were "aggressive" like that. But then again the dude is not even 20, right. ...he prolly has very little actual experience in dating&sex, so mby he has his reasons to be shy and retractile. And then again I'm Sx first which adds some nuance, I guess.
Such consistent black-white thinking. Tis sad... Considering your age.
(See see.... Others can utilize your tacky tactics too....!!!)
I'm a total pussy when it comes to like and love.
I may make jokes a lot in order to peak their interest, but if they show little signs of interest... Nurp... I back away and feign oblivious. On the occassions I have pushed someone against a wall.. It's been longterm relationships and I did it as a "joke". Plus I majorly lack coordination.
In terms of persuing vs being persued... I prefer the former. But I do it in a goofy way. I do like the other person to reciprocate.
In terms of pursuing, not persuing ...no, you don't turn me on.
not even when you try to pump up your Se and use the category of age (how ti-mid) in your black-and-white thinking.
maybe if I were American, I would find u hot though. I may have a thing for Mediterranean or Slavic looks.
It would be cool to actually have a conversation about this topic instead of it descending into some kind of look at me I know so much about socionics type war. Maybe, you know, like take ****** at their face value and maybe consider that what they are saying has a little smidgen of merit and that sometimes it is actually quite a junk of time out of the day where they have to sit down and really think about what they want to write and how that writing relates to the truth they are trying to illuminate? Like, ya.
wacey probably mistook the type of conflict (or "war"). It was "I know too much about hypocritical passive aggressive pussies" and I'm hearing the same kind of shit again --- same as last week and the week before. "Tell me I shouldn't kill myself coz I am not Sx, charismatic, strong enough. eeeeetc." (choose your attribute and he'll come asking folks why others have it and he lacks it).
He should actually change his pills or his therapist if what he's already doing doesn't work.
Well, I have taken a liking to him, so I'll just decide for myself how I will talk with him as well as discern the situation. Same privilege as you.
Aggression with ESI is different from the beta ST's, and even the flirtatious SEE. LIE are touchy individuals who require a lot of finesse. A lot of letting them think they are running the show and tons of aquiesing. They are not known as cavalier for nothing. Sometimes the one who gives in is the aggressor. Sometimes the one who decides the "time and place sex is happening" is the aggressor. Or victim? Things get complex in my experience.
And I'm talking in very, very close relationships here, NOT the fly by night friday night fuck and chucks; or the "where is this going-ings?"; or the "why do you make me do crazy things I'll probably regret cause I need to knows?". Those are all different from the keepers. The keepers require compromise.
If you can't agree then go and join the LSIs. hah!
Last edited by wacey; 04-02-2015 at 03:05 AM.
same privilege as me.
just that you're contradicting yourself. you are trying to rationalize his weakness through Socionics. it's not due to LIEs, but some personal failures and self-subversive habits that he always complains and simultaneously throws shit at others to make up for his experiences. this may actually only prolong his situation, but who cares.
I guess its your prerogative to point that all out to him. Must mean he matters to you, or something. Plus, "weakness"? I see no weakness in this guy. Just an average thoughtful young guy, coming into his own, sharing his observances of the world :/
.......
(I dislike the hug smiley because tis corny.. But for you..Ima press it).
Off topic....one of my posts is missing in this thread.... Did a mod delete it?....
Nvm.... It was moved. Cooollll.
your Fiiiiling-and-relationsheeps radars are fucked up.
the other one sounds overly-motherly and gay. sounds like you wanna give him a blow job instead.
but I know you don't actually hold a grudge coz I inadvertently corrected your creepy spelling in my previous post instead of telling you I dislike you and find you pathetic.
Last edited by Amber; 04-02-2015 at 10:31 AM.
I was sarcastic in the first bit. In the second I was expressing some sentiment. Wow. You have issues. Call it tough love, others might call it mean hearted. And that's putting your behaviour mildly.
Last edited by wacey; 04-02-2015 at 02:14 PM.
What's wrong Amber, why are you so snarky?
wacey, I don't like you, you don't like me. let's stop here. I understand that you have a thing for suede, but asking why someone is snarky after u admitted on being sarcastic urself is a contradiction in behavior and thinking. not to my liking.
aaah
You win Amber, I give up.
I heard he is dumb as a "brick" but who cares.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Pussies come in all sizes shapes and colors.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
@suedehead Early 20s can be a strange time. From my experience there's a pressure that emerges--one begins to feel there is a time limit to get all the big things in life sorted out: career, relationship, life direction...overall destiny. It's my opinion I want to offer that it's good to use that decade to take time to find your way so as to be sure...as opposed to just checking things off one-by-one in order to feel that you are making "any kind" of progress. Typically, the ones who succumb to the pressure before they're ready generally end up with regrets.
You won't "turn yourself on", but you will turn someone else on who seeks what you naturally have. Don't be afraid to get it wrong a few times before you get it right. You can change your sociotype, the ideal partner type you are looking for, your sexual preference. Your strengths and weaknesses will evolve and shift while you discover what works for you, and makes you happy with and over time. You really have much more time than you probably think to figure things out.
Regarding the "event" you recalled--it's so very common for all types to react as you did. If I suggested something for a date at 17, and someone put it down, it would be SO natural to back off out of insecurity. It's also possible that the EIE girl was trying to either look cool or more exciting by claiming that movies are boring. If the SLE in the end, was ultimately only a "fuckbuddy", then he didn't really get the whole package anyway.
If you are ILE and/or can't relate or use my thoughts for any constructive purpose, that's ok. But please know my intent is well-meaning.
What's your solution? Why are "most women" important? Who, specifically, is "a girl"? Why see girls/women as a homogenous unit, whose pieces always have more in common with each other than with any given guy/man?
Do you think girls/women would be oblivious to your distaste for them? Do you want them as human beings, or do you want their attention for your own personal use? Is there any reason why a bisexual/non-straight girl would be a worse fit for you than a straight girl?
Guys with slighter physiques, and less conventional masculinity than you, have done great. Goddess Bunny has an active and rich sexual life, and is now in a great relationship.
p . . . a . . . n . . . d . . . o . . . r . . . a
trad metalz | (more coming)
One event that shows that I'm probably not Victim-Aggresdor is this event that happened when I was 17. I was talking to an EIE girl and told her to go to the movies with me and she said "the movies are boring. Lol.' and I froze up like a pussy. A male aggressor would've gotten past that and aggressively charmed her. She thought I was cute, but I was too androgynous for her, and I spent the rest of senior year hating the guts of her SLE fuckbuddy.
most SLEs I know are very daring and caveman-like, but totally boring and bland outside the bedroom. Not saying suede is sophistication incarnated, but he found the right type to compare himself to.
Female SLEs can be pretty interesting though. Right now I'm working with one on an e-book on Why Older Men Hit on Younger Women. I'm late and she's pretty lovely when she's trying to apply pressure to make me send her the stuff soon. Apparently she'll look for another writer and she'll contact me if she doesn't find a better one.
Chill, maybe? Life is not about being laid.
dude, you're Se leading, Fi creative.
I prefer Jeezy's demeanor to Chris' Browns. He is laid back, optimistic and has passion. These are things people can work on.If you don't have this sort of demeanor, straight women basically don't want you and it's just like, suck my fucking dick. All of you.
There's this paradox with me, where it's like I'm so attracted to feminity, that I don't bother trying to emulate the men they're attracted to because I find them tedious, hence 20 year old girls thinking I'm an asexual pussy. I value certain masculine traits, a lot, but I pick and choose what's relevant to me and girls won't give a fuck unless you try to be like the hodgetwins. You basically have to be a cheery fuckboy to get a girl my age.
I keep wanting to type him ILI.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Hah, that sucks. You are hanging out with the wrong girls.
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