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Thread: Aggressors that are pussies.

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    Default Aggressors that are pussies.

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    Last edited by suedehead; 04-08-2016 at 05:56 PM.

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    Having se in ego doesn't mean you are a superman, it's not an advantage just a way you see the world. Aggressors think of pursuit, victims think of being pursued

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    There are certainly advantages to Se ego that do not necessarily include throwing sex partner up against a wall (ouch! )
    Life's a bitch and she's got me pussy whipped.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    There are certainly advantages to Se ego that do not necessarily include throwing sex partner up against a wall (ouch! )



    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
    Dang Beta NFs. Its what ails ya!
    Naw, its what keeps us alive.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    It's not like you even think of perusing in some kind of conscious, hunter and prey kind of form. You just that want to see them again and can understand at a gut level that you are the one that needs to facilitate that happening. That could look like anywhere from making yourself available to them, to moving the pieces in your life around to make room for their presence, to standing firmly in your desire to be with them, even when they put out some 'trouble'. Romantically and sexually it also looks like an ability to separate yourself from them briefly in order to, I hate to use the word objectify, but perhaps better yet, objectify the situation more then them as a person. The introverted aggressors are a WHOLE other beast then the extroverts as well.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Objectification is necessary.

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    Also, its far easier in my experience to be some kind of aggressor initially in a bar, pub, night club setting. As well as a more public setting such as a grocery store, campground, and sometimes cafe, then it is to be an aggressor at school. This is because school comes with many more social conventions then some other setting. She may or may not reciprocate your interest, or on the other side, it may complicate hers and yours school life. It might not also be the most appropriate time to explore something with her.

    So instead of calling yourself a pussy, you should better yet congratulate yourself on having the inner wisdom to first feel out the situation over the course of time, making sure you are certain that an advance will not jeopardize any factor in your life, large or small. You might also want to feel proud of the fact that you are not some blundering Se base ego, but a more thoughtful, reflective person who is entirely capable and adept at seeing the subtle nuances before making some kind of move romantically. (If in fact striking up some kind of relationship could be considered 'making a move' - so tacky this popular line of thinking).

    In regards to ISFj, keep in mind they are a carefree type, meaning experimentation is the main stay of your personality. In other words, you need to try it out before you get good at anything. I can't even remember the amount of times I have faced some sort of rejection before I became immune to them. Those were always hard in the first place because I would rather not take the initiative and in doing so on numerous occasions I put myself out there and received nothing in return except a lesson.

    Overall, in my experience I would say just go for it. If it works great, if it doesn't, then at least you don't regret, nor are left wondering "what if?" (ISFj weak spot)
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Objectification is necessary.
    I'm sorry, but not entirely. Objectification has too many negative connotations and doesn't really capture the essence of socionic aggression, at least not for the Se blocked with Fi egos in gamma.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    I'm sorry, but not entirely. Objectification has too many negative connotations and doesn't really capture the essence of socionic aggression, at least not for the Se blocked with Fi egos in gamma.
    That wasn't a socionics statement.

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    Ah, my bad. So you want to explain it maybe?
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    It's not like you even think of perusing in some kind of conscious, hunter and prey kind of form. You just that want to see them again and can understand at a gut level that you are the one that needs to facilitate that happening.


    not that cynical as in hunter and prey, but the drive to "push them against a wall" should come very naturally with Se ego.

    I suggest that the OP should type Ni/Ne ego. I promise I'll try to pretend I see some substance in what he says.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    It's not like you even think of perusing in some kind of conscious, hunter and prey kind of form. You just that want to see them again and can understand at a gut level that you are the one that needs to facilitate that happening.


    not that cynical as in hunter and prey, but the drive to "push them against a wall" should come very naturally with Se ego.

    I suggest that the OP should type Ni/Ne ego. I promise I'll try to pretend I see some substance in what he says.
    Oh, and you have personal experience with driving someone up the wall? Your knowledge sounds theory based and thus not multi-faceted enough for my liking.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    my comment wasn't meant to be "to your liking".

    of course I do. And all the Se egos I've been with were "aggressive" like that. But then again the dude is not even 20, right. ...he prolly has very little actual experience in dating&sex, so mby he has his reasons to be shy and retractile. And then again I'm Sx first which adds some nuance, I guess.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    It's not like you even think of perusing in some kind of conscious, hunter and prey kind of form. You just that want to see them again and can understand at a gut level that you are the one that needs to facilitate that happening.


    not that cynical as in hunter and prey, but the drive to "push them against a wall" should come very naturally with Se ego.

    I suggest that the OP should type Ni/Ne ego. I promise I'll try to pretend I see some substance in what he says.
    Such consistent black-white thinking. Tis sad... Considering your age.
    (See see.... Others can utilize your tacky tactics too....!!!)




    I'm a total pussy when it comes to like and love.
    I may make jokes a lot in order to peak their interest, but if they show little signs of interest... Nurp... I back away and feign oblivious. On the occassions I have pushed someone against a wall.. It's been longterm relationships and I did it as a "joke". Plus I majorly lack coordination.

    In terms of persuing vs being persued... I prefer the former. But I do it in a goofy way. I do like the other person to reciprocate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    Such consistent black-white thinking. Tis sad... Considering your age.
    (See see.... Others can utilize your tacky tactics too....!!!)

    I'm a total pussy when it comes to like and love.
    I may make jokes a lot in order to peak their interest, but if they show little signs of interest... Nurp... I back away and feign oblivious. On the occassions I have pushed someone against a wall.. It's been longterm relationships and I did it as a "joke". Plus I majorly lack coordination.

    In terms of persuing vs being persued... I prefer the former. But I do it in a goofy way. I do like the other person to reciprocate.

    In terms of pursuing, not persuing ...no, you don't turn me on.
    not even when you try to pump up your Se and use the category of age (how ti-mid) in your black-and-white thinking.
    maybe if I were American, I would find u hot though. I may have a thing for Mediterranean or Slavic looks.

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    It would be cool to actually have a conversation about this topic instead of it descending into some kind of look at me I know so much about socionics type war. Maybe, you know, like take ****** at their face value and maybe consider that what they are saying has a little smidgen of merit and that sometimes it is actually quite a junk of time out of the day where they have to sit down and really think about what they want to write and how that writing relates to the truth they are trying to illuminate? Like, ya.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    wacey probably mistook the type of conflict (or "war"). It was "I know too much about hypocritical passive aggressive pussies" and I'm hearing the same kind of shit again --- same as last week and the week before. "Tell me I shouldn't kill myself coz I am not Sx, charismatic, strong enough. eeeeetc." (choose your attribute and he'll come asking folks why others have it and he lacks it).

    He should actually change his pills or his therapist if what he's already doing doesn't work.

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    Well, I have taken a liking to him, so I'll just decide for myself how I will talk with him as well as discern the situation. Same privilege as you.

    Aggression with ESI is different from the beta ST's, and even the flirtatious SEE. LIE are touchy individuals who require a lot of finesse. A lot of letting them think they are running the show and tons of aquiesing. They are not known as cavalier for nothing. Sometimes the one who gives in is the aggressor. Sometimes the one who decides the "time and place sex is happening" is the aggressor. Or victim? Things get complex in my experience.

    And I'm talking in very, very close relationships here, NOT the fly by night friday night fuck and chucks; or the "where is this going-ings?"; or the "why do you make me do crazy things I'll probably regret cause I need to knows?". Those are all different from the keepers. The keepers require compromise.

    If you can't agree then go and join the LSIs. hah!
    Last edited by wacey; 04-02-2015 at 04:05 AM.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    same privilege as me.

    just that you're contradicting yourself. you are trying to rationalize his weakness through Socionics. it's not due to LIEs, but some personal failures and self-subversive habits that he always complains and simultaneously throws shit at others to make up for his experiences. this may actually only prolong his situation, but who cares.

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    I guess its your prerogative to point that all out to him. Must mean he matters to you, or something. Plus, "weakness"? I see no weakness in this guy. Just an average thoughtful young guy, coming into his own, sharing his observances of the world :/
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    .......
    (I dislike the hug smiley because tis corny.. But for you..Ima press it).

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    Off topic....one of my posts is missing in this thread.... Did a mod delete it?....


    Nvm.... It was moved. Cooollll.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    I guess its your prerogative to point that all out to him. Must mean he matters to you, or something. Plus, "weakness"? I see no weakness in this guy. Just an average thoughtful young guy, coming into his own, sharing his observances of the world :/
    your Fiiiiling-and-relationsheeps radars are fucked up.

    the other one sounds overly-motherly and gay. sounds like you wanna give him a blow job instead.

    but I know you don't actually hold a grudge coz I inadvertently corrected your creepy spelling in my previous post instead of telling you I dislike you and find you pathetic.
    Last edited by Amber; 04-02-2015 at 11:31 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    your Fiiiiling-and-relationsheeps radars are fucked up.

    the other one sounds overly-motherly and gay. sounds like you wanna give him a blow job instead.

    but I know you don't actually hold a grudge coz I inadvertently corrected your creepy spelling in my previous post instead of telling you I dislike you and find you pathetic.

    I was sarcastic in the first bit. In the second I was expressing some sentiment. Wow. You have issues. Call it tough love, others might call it mean hearted. And that's putting your behaviour mildly.
    Last edited by wacey; 04-02-2015 at 03:14 PM.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    What's wrong Amber, why are you so snarky?
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    wacey, I don't like you, you don't like me. let's stop here. I understand that you have a thing for suede, but asking why someone is snarky after u admitted on being sarcastic urself is a contradiction in behavior and thinking. not to my liking.

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    aaah

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    You win Amber, I give up.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elina View Post
    SLE is the most aggressor of the aggressors. ESI is the least.

    All 4 aggressors are not the same.


    I heard he is dumb as a "brick" but who cares.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    Pussies come in all sizes shapes and colors.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Pussies come in all sizes shapes and colors.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







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    @suedehead Early 20s can be a strange time. From my experience there's a pressure that emerges--one begins to feel there is a time limit to get all the big things in life sorted out: career, relationship, life direction...overall destiny. It's my opinion I want to offer that it's good to use that decade to take time to find your way so as to be sure...as opposed to just checking things off one-by-one in order to feel that you are making "any kind" of progress. Typically, the ones who succumb to the pressure before they're ready generally end up with regrets.

    You won't "turn yourself on", but you will turn someone else on who seeks what you naturally have. Don't be afraid to get it wrong a few times before you get it right. You can change your sociotype, the ideal partner type you are looking for, your sexual preference. Your strengths and weaknesses will evolve and shift while you discover what works for you, and makes you happy with and over time. You really have much more time than you probably think to figure things out.

    Regarding the "event" you recalled--it's so very common for all types to react as you did. If I suggested something for a date at 17, and someone put it down, it would be SO natural to back off out of insecurity. It's also possible that the EIE girl was trying to either look cool or more exciting by claiming that movies are boring. If the SLE in the end, was ultimately only a "fuckbuddy", then he didn't really get the whole package anyway.

    If you are ILE and/or can't relate or use my thoughts for any constructive purpose, that's ok. But please know my intent is well-meaning.

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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    No, most women aren't attracted to my traits. I'm closed-off, non-transparent and I'm not a cheesing fratboy like floyd fucking mayweather. I'd even say I'm creepy, and I have no interest in changing my basic demeanor. A girl isn't going to feel comfortable around me and that's a dealbreaker.
    What's your solution? Why are "most women" important? Who, specifically, is "a girl"? Why see girls/women as a homogenous unit, whose pieces always have more in common with each other than with any given guy/man?

    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    If you don't have this sort of demeanor, straight women basically don't want you and it's just like, suck my fucking dick. All of you.
    Do you think girls/women would be oblivious to your distaste for them? Do you want them as human beings, or do you want their attention for your own personal use? Is there any reason why a bisexual/non-straight girl would be a worse fit for you than a straight girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    There's this paradox with me, where it's like I'm so attracted to feminity, that I don't bother trying to emulate the men they're attracted to because I find them tedious, hence 20 year old girls thinking I'm an asexual pussy. I value certain masculine traits, a lot, but I pick and choose what's relevant to me and girls won't give a fuck unless you try to be like the hodgetwins. You basically have to be a cheery fuckboy to get a girl my age.
    Guys with slighter physiques, and less conventional masculinity than you, have done great. Goddess Bunny has an active and rich sexual life, and is now in a great relationship.

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    One event that shows that I'm probably not Victim-Aggresdor is this event that happened when I was 17. I was talking to an EIE girl and told her to go to the movies with me and she said "the movies are boring. Lol.' and I froze up like a pussy. A male aggressor would've gotten past that and aggressively charmed her. She thought I was cute, but I was too androgynous for her, and I spent the rest of senior year hating the guts of her SLE fuckbuddy.


    most SLEs I know are very daring and caveman-like, but totally boring and bland outside the bedroom. Not saying suede is sophistication incarnated, but he found the right type to compare himself to.

    Female SLEs can be pretty interesting though. Right now I'm working with one on an e-book on Why Older Men Hit on Younger Women. I'm late and she's pretty lovely when she's trying to apply pressure to make me send her the stuff soon. Apparently she'll look for another writer and she'll contact me if she doesn't find a better one.


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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    I rarely feel chemistry or much of anything beyond lust for most girls that I'm attracted to, and that's shitty, but I figure if I were alpha male-ish or had what most women want I'd at least be getting laid. I can't pretend to take an interest in a girl as a person when there's nothing there - most people in general seem numb, empty and boring, and my experience with girls that aren't those things is that I can never get on the same wavelength as them (likely due to my sx blindspot). At least fucking and the charge/ego-boost you get from that can be a last consolation for the numb, cold, emotionally devoid life that I already lead.
    Chill, maybe? Life is not about being laid.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spider View Post
    @suedehead

    I think that's more beta Se, if it's Se at all. I'm fairly assertive and also fairly certain I don't have Se in my ego. Yes, I pretended to be confident for a long time, but then it came naturally. The motivation to pretend came from finding the "silver lining" in shitty traits which I thought were my personal weaknesses. I know it sounds dork, but everything has two sides.


    I let my life get shittier and shittier until I was a bum living in a fucking for-sale shed. lol. Aaaand I went crazy. Then I got sick of fucking up so I paid attention, and bit my tongue when I wanted to yell at people, and worked when I was tired, and didn't eat when I was hungry, and ignored my friends when I was lonely, and focused on what I'm aiming for. I'm not there yet but stuff has gradually gotten better. I still feel unlovable a lot of the time (like, if someone seems to be attracted to me, I'll automatically assume something is wrong with them or they have awful tastes) but life goes on. Socionics tries to sit on top of your life and divide it into neat little categories but it's just theory superimposed on shit that actually exists. This forum doesn't have any answers. Use what you have and go as hard as you can in the direction of whatever goal you want to achieve before you die, and hope you get there in time. Most of life's bullshit will disappear in the struggle.
    dude, you're Se leading, Fi creative.

  39. #39
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    If you don't have this sort of demeanor, straight women basically don't want you and it's just like, suck my fucking dick. All of you.






    There's this paradox with me, where it's like I'm so attracted to feminity, that I don't bother trying to emulate the men they're attracted to because I find them tedious, hence 20 year old girls thinking I'm an asexual pussy. I value certain masculine traits, a lot, but I pick and choose what's relevant to me and girls won't give a fuck unless you try to be like the hodgetwins. You basically have to be a cheery fuckboy to get a girl my age.
    I prefer Jeezy's demeanor to Chris' Browns. He is laid back, optimistic and has passion. These are things people can work on.





    I keep wanting to type him ILI.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     







  40. #40
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suedehead View Post
    There's this paradox with me, where it's like I'm so attracted to feminity, that I don't bother trying to emulate the men they're attracted to because I find them tedious, hence 20 year old girls thinking I'm an asexual pussy. I value certain masculine traits, a lot, but I pick and choose what's relevant to me and girls won't give a fuck unless you try to be like the hodgetwins. You basically have to be a cheery fuckboy to get a girl my age.
    Hah, that sucks. You are hanging out with the wrong girls.
    "If this to end in fire, then we should all burn together. Watch the flames climb higher into the night."

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