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Thread: Which intertype relationship would be healthiest for raising kids?

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    Limitless's Avatar
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    Default Which intertype relationship would be healthiest for raising kids?

    My first guess was Duality obviously, but now I'm wondering if that's really the case. It sort of seems like it'd be healthier to have parents from different quadras... Anyways, I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.

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    I feel parents that are healthy, psychologically and spiritually (not religious but could be) are the best types to raise healthy children. Being raised by dual parents that are mentally unstable, immature and have problems dealing with their own problems are ill equipped to raise healthy children. Although I have seen pretty psychologically healthy children, right from the start, emerge from these types of families, regardless of the intertype relations of their parents. I am not one of them. I had to earn my state of health.

    Physically unhealthy parents can still be mentally capable of raising a healthy child. As far as physical health goes even the best parents can get it wrong by making their children follow specific health regimens, that they follow, that might not be right for the child's growing body.

    The way I see it, too many variables to pin this down with socionics. Despite being the world's best parents you could still raise a serial killer. I could probably go on but I won't, for now.

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    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    not that i've ever experienced it, but i feel that there must be huge benefits to having parents that actually get along.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I am not one of them. I had to earn my state of health.
    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    not that i've ever experienced it, but i feel that there must be huge benefits to having parents that actually get along.
    Oh my gosh. I'm really sorry to hear that. That's horrible. @Aylen I admire you a lot for how well you've managed to deal with some of these types of problems. My mom was raised in a similar environment and I have so much respect for the people who are able to recover from all those terrible times.

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    The least healthy is EIE - LSI
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    Having a quasi identical parent forced me to develop myself tremendously at a young age.
    I would say that ethically you are still supposed to act as if you have unilateral responsibility; but simultaneously you have to be able to see the other as a fully autonomous, free, aware person.

    Medicalizing social problems has the additional benefit of rendering society not responsible for those social ills. If itís a disease, itís nobodyís fault. Yay empiricism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    The least healthy is EIE - LSI
    I disagree, my parents are these types and they were always great parents. Whatever defects I might have are my own fault : )

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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post
    I disagree, my parents are these types and they were always great parents. Whatever defects I might have are my own fault : )
    It was a joke because I hate my EIE - LSI parents... parenting skills aren't type related
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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    It was a joke because I hate my EIE - LSI parents... parenting skills aren't type related
    Lol I thought maybe yours are also beta rational types

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    Well an EIE makes a terrible parent. Doesn't really matter who their partner is.

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    I agree with xerx and maithili, actually.

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    My dad is LSI...biggest dick ever. None of his kids like him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maithili View Post
    Well an EIE makes a terrible parent. Doesn't really matter who their partner is.
    This is is actually pretty funny.

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    I would take it that dual relationships tend to be the healthiest just because, on average, there is probably less conflict in the home and more attention focused on the kids for that reason.

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    My parents were duals and I think I could have been raised much better, though it wasn't all bad. Duality can get too comfortable and not know what to do.... maybe activity is better.

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    beta bashing, not cool guys
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    Quote Originally Posted by maithili View Post
    Well an EIE makes a terrible parent. Doesn't really matter who their partner is.
    Wait, my mom is one.
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    I don't think the intertype relationship between parents is the most relevant ...but since you're all bashing EIEs here: my EIE-fe uncle is known for having broken down the door to his EII daughter's room when she was a teenager, because he couldn't understand her need for privacy. His ESI-Se wife was trying to regulate the thing, of course, but she had her own ideas about how the EII kid shouldn't escape the parents' control. She did concede however when the EII daughter explained that her own desires/needs are kind of important, too; spending some time privately in her room doing stuff on her own doesn't = she doesn't love her parents anymore or she gets pregnant and is bound to quit school and become a hooker.
    Last edited by Amber; 05-09-2015 at 04:24 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post
    I disagree, my parents are these types and they were always great parents. Whatever defects I might have are my own fault : )
    They do like to procreate... My biological parents are EIE (dad) and LSI (mom). I think I said enough about their parenting skills in past posts. My ILI stepdad was pretty cool though. After I warmed up to him. At first I didn't want him part of our family and made it clear he was not my dad. As I grew older I realized he was not only my dad but a very good one.

    Edit: When taking care of a family got too hard, my EIE dad left fled the country.

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    Conflict. Because if they can survive a conflicting relationship, they can survive anything.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber View Post
    I don't think the intertype relationship between parents is very relevant ...but since you're all bashing EIEs here: my EIE-fe uncle is known for having broken down the door to his EII daughter's room when she was a teenager, because he couldn't understand her need for privacy. His ESI-Se wife was trying to regulate the thing, of course, but she had her own ideas about how the EII kid shouldn't escape the parents' control. She did concede however when the EII daughter explained that her own desires/needs are kind of important, too; spending some time privately in her room doing stuff on her own doesn't = she doesn't love her parents anymore or she gets pregnant and is bound to quit school and become a hooker.
    That sounds about right.

    My EIE dad has locked and barricaded me outside of the house when I was 18 and came home a little after 10PM; he's slapped me straight across the face more times than I can count, usually bc I didn't really feel like talking, or something like that. But yeah, his fears are usually related to thinking I will become pregnant and a hooker the minute he doesn't have full control over me, or that he's being "disrespected."

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    You don't get to choose your parents and your parents don't get to choose you. Everybody has to play the hand that they were given the best way they can. Life and people are complicated and sometimes people end up in relationships and get kids and realize later it doesn’t work. That doesn’t mean just because everything is not perfect in their relationship, that they want to fuck it up for their kids. There are also other things influencing you, than just your parents. Poverty, war, whatever else you have - the whole clusterfuck. People just grow up in the midst of it and learn to deal. Sometimes you can deal and can get through it, and sometimes not. For me it’s bogus to press it all into one socionics formula, like parent relationship -- healthy kids -- amazing life.
    Last edited by Nymeria; 07-11-2015 at 06:01 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapling View Post
    My first guess was Duality obviously, but now I'm wondering if that's really the case. It sort of seems like it'd be healthier to have parents from different quadras... Anyways, I'd like to hear your thoughts on it.

    Probably (ideally at least ...) duality. Anyway I think being complementary on T/F and N/S is pretty cool and beneficial for the kids. I mean, SEI + SLI or ILE + LII might lead to unilateral (unbalanced) issues in the upbringing.

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