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Thread: Do ESFjs like being told what to do?

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    Default Do ESFjs like being told what to do?

    Thoughts on this are welcome. I'm not sure how to interpret it yet.


    INTjs cannot stant it, I know that. But what about the ESFjs?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I don't think they mind being told what to do, but neither will they always accept to do it (even though they'll tend not to openly refuse anything). But I do think that they love giving orders and assignements to people, sometimes not so much because of the things that need to be done but to kind of keep a certain amount of psychological (emotional?) distance from others. Anyway, ExFJs are the boring ones who tell people what to do (instead of minding their own bussiness), at least in this life I 'm living.
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    they do. unless you rationalize it.

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    they do. unless you rationalize it.
    Really?


    Oh...

    ..........because it makes them think too much - is that why?
    (as in, they dislike thinking deeply about things)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    no, because if there is a good reason for something to be done they will eventually do it though they find it distasteful

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro-the-Lion
    no, because if there is a good reason for something to be done they will eventually do it though they find it distasteful


    OH --- I misinterpreted your response. I thought you meant:

    they do. unless you rationalize it.
    As in, "ESFjs don't mind being told what to do, unless you rationalize it -- then they won't want to do it"


    but really you meant:
    they do. unless you rationalize it.
    "ESFjs DO MIND (as in, do not like to be told what to do)... unless you provide a good reason for it."



    Okay, that makes sense.
    I had an intuitional disclarity there.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    ESFjs don't mind being told what to do if you don't offend them in the process
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    yes. i wasn't sure if you were doing that or saying they were so block-headed that you could confuse them and sway their opinions easily with witty verbal pearls so i refrained and restated

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    actually i will change my answer. they do not mind following orders if they are shown respect. "being told what to do" implies having a lack of a "say". generally, they do not like this.

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    ah, yes
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    From my experience of dealing with ESFjs, it is best as an INTj to give them a direction (strategic vision and all that jazz) that they agree with and let them handle most things from there. ESFjs will take tasks to heart and make sure that things get done (especially the mundane details of a task that INTjs hate) and will delegate responsibilities to others. The INTj will of course help them in this endeavor (however grudgingly), but will also help in the establishment of goals and strategies, evaulation of ideas, and the decision making and planning process. The INTj would come up with new ideas, improvements, or developments, while the ESFj would then traditionalize or standardize these ideas, or give these new ideas a familiar sort of feeling or look to them. Again from my experiences, an INTj and ESFj at the head of a project, task or organization is an incredibly formidable team. One acts as an "energizer" and one as the "strategist," the "amperage" and the "voltage," or the "drive" and the "direction." When the ESFj agreed with me or I with her, it practically meant that it was going to happen and that the others of the group would just have to accept it.

    But to simply say that ESFjs like being told what to do is incredibly misleading and simply untrue. ESFjs like to be a part of the decision making process, and I prefer them there as well, because if they are a part of the process, it is that much more likely to get done. I think that perhaps it is better to say that ESFjs like to be given or find a sense of direction and purpose.
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    Ah, very nice thread, everyone.

    Just what I was hoping for.


    Good insight there, Logos. I have seen glimpses of that, but I like how you explained it there.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    They tell people what to do, usually they're right but it's annoying because they take away a sort of free-thinking from others to make their own mistakes. They're very good at doing the right thing. They'll accept your order if it makes sense and depends on the situation.
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    ESFjs generally respect "authority", though they may have a problem with individuals in authority. They'll do what they think is right, even it goes against that individual. They're not the type that resent being told what to do within society's systems of authority. They are ruled by their own "supposed to's", and these "supposed to's" are things that have been taught to them at some point.
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    Those "supposed tos" may go against the grain of the culture in which they reside and can lead them to be quite counter cultural. For example when esfjs immigrate to another country they tend to keep their cultural traditions alive even if this sets them apart from other people. Another example could be being the best friend of someone who is unpopular and not giving a damn what other people think about it (once they have decided that this is what they will do).

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    hmm, I'm going to use that going into another thread of mine...
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    As an ESFJ I like to know what is expected of me - I like to be told what people would like me to do for them. When everything is crystal clear it makes my longings of making people around me happier much easier.

    However, as someone said I don't "always" agree to do whatever someone asks me to do. I do have my standards and I place them as key priority over making people happy - though I may be miserable doing my priorities (and may re-evaluate) if it makes someone I love unhappy.

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