This is an ongoing issue I've been having and I wanted peoples' insights on it.
I raised this issue in this thread starting with this post and onward.
Basically the gist of it is:
I instintually have a hurt reaction towards everything that people try to put down if it's something I'm personally passionate about. It could be as something as simple as a TV show, music, or even socionics.
I don't know, it's just weird. It's like I want people to be a carbon copy of myself in a way, where the only difference between us is impersonal factors like physical appearance. The person shares my feelings on everything, we can totally be open about our interests to each other and are interests will never be scorned. We share our interests together and it's mutual enjoyment for both of us. I long to have that kind of thing in my relations with others more than just about anything.
If there's something that interests me, I long to share it with others, to have them be positively receptive to it. However, it's inevitable that not everyone will share every single interest with me or my feelings about things. People are different!!! Thus hurt or disappointment in this way is inevitable. Particularly in my childhood, I would thrust my interests upon others, expect them to respond positively and be greatly disappointed if they didn't.
Eventually, after receiving enough 'negative feedback' from family, peers, etc. I sort of retreated inward on myself, feeling like hardly anything about myself was safe for sharing with other people. I learned to rely on my self and enjoy my interests *alone* where they are free from any scorn whatsoever. To this day, I still feel like it's hard to really get emotionally close to people for precisely that reason. Because I know emotional conflict will be inevitable and I don't feel well equipped enough to handle it.
I'm fine with discussion and differing views on impersonal things like scientific theories but when it's personal matters such as the things I enjoy doing for fun or my preferences for TV, music, art, etc., I feel like some of those areas are 'untouchable'- don't insult it or you will pay the price.
I feel like this is a rather selfish view to take though, because people are inherently different with different opinions on things. Sometimes I feel guilty that I feel that way and want others to be 'just like me.'
For example, with socionics, I'm okay with discussing the merits as well as the shortcomings of different theories and comparing/contrasting them. I enjoy this very much and I appreciate different views and not hurt by disagreement. But if someone said "socoinics is just garbage and it's not worth spending time on" then I would be hurt by that.
I don't dare bring up socionics with family members for instance, because they'd likely have that reaction.
Am I neurotic for having these reactions?
Other people don't seem to be quite so affected by things like that. You tell them that something they love is crap, and they just laugh and say "Well you're entitled to your opinion" and don't give it any further thought.
But for me, I can't do that and believe me I've tried. I always take it to heart.
I think it negatively affects my life and my relations with others.
Are certain socionics types more prone to this issue with others?
Just a theory but I think it might be an alpha Fe thing.
In the +/- functions theory, alpha values -Fe and beta values +Fe. Alpha puts a bigger priority on minimizing negative emotions. So if you have a negative sentiment about something, alpha is inclined to think you should just keep it to yourself if it's going to negatively impact someone else and disrupt the positive emotional atmosphere. I think beta is more about putting all of the feelings out there both positive and negative. There will be more intense positive moments at the expense of more demonstrated negativity.